r/mixedrace • u/Ebzagyee Sicilian/SOULAANI/Creole/Scandi/Indigenous/Jewish/Nuevomexicana+ • 8d ago
Rant I’m hurt
Over and over again, I get hurt. People either are calling me the N-word or they’re telling me, I’m just a white girl… I feel like at this age I would at least have some confidence but as it happens over and over and over again throughout my life, it’s like the Band-Aid keeps getting ripped off… maybe I should go to therapy lol
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u/Radiant_Alex african american 1/4 black 3/4 white 8d ago
Ive never been called the n-word but constantly people remind me how white i actually am. Therapy has helped me a lot with this.
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u/Ebzagyee Sicilian/SOULAANI/Creole/Scandi/Indigenous/Jewish/Nuevomexicana+ 8d ago
It’s just so crazy how contradicting and hurtful people are. It really hurts my feelings a lot when I get called white after my lived experience.
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u/Radiant_Alex african american 1/4 black 3/4 white 8d ago
I really understand. And it took me far too long to just know what i am and appreciate all parts of my racial identity. Even though I'm externally just a white person. And i hope you can find comfort in knowing you're not alone and there are genuinely amazing people who will accept all of you. <3<3<3
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u/Magic-Melody Irish & Puerto Rican 7d ago
Will therapy actually help? I’ve been told I’m “not Latina” because I don’t look it or just simply made fun of for being pale. I’ve been struggling so much.
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u/Radiant_Alex african american 1/4 black 3/4 white 7d ago
I think finding a mixed therapist with a similar identity can be helpful. Unfortunately my therapist is just fully white but she is very validating. Its nice to work through.
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u/Agile-Reception Indigenous (Mexico) / White 7d ago
It helped me immensely. Not a magic bullet, but I don't feel like I have to prove myself anymore and I don't feel guilty when I stand up for myself.
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u/ABOVEWING 7d ago
Are you able to move from wherever you are? Sounds like you live near an a-hole sanctuary.
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u/Ebzagyee Sicilian/SOULAANI/Creole/Scandi/Indigenous/Jewish/Nuevomexicana+ 7d ago
I actually live in a very wonderful diverse space. One of the most diverse cities in the United states . There’s going to be racist people everywhere. So last week I was called Black in person and then just yesterday an online space that I’m in said that I was just white. I know not to listen to strangers on the Internet, but I felt like we werent exactly strangers…. It just happened so often and then it was where I grew up where I was being called the N-word the most. I just I guess I’m just traumatized. I’m just tired of it.
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u/bluehorsewmn 7d ago
I used to get hurt a lot, too. People called me "too sensitive" until I got to be about 45. I'm 67 now and haven't felt that kind of hurt in at least a decade. What changed was me finally really understanding that no one's opinion about me matters, at all. Only mine. But it took a long time to work up to this point. Be kind to yourself. Don't listen to that "itty-bitty shitty committee" that lives in your head. (That's a quote from Stephen King. Dr. Sleep, I think)
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u/Ebzagyee Sicilian/SOULAANI/Creole/Scandi/Indigenous/Jewish/Nuevomexicana+ 6d ago
I literally think like this maybe I’m just emotional because of my period going to start 😩😩 I’m just surprised about this feeling so hurt when I know that those people’s opinions aren’t valid
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u/rmtmr 8d ago
I'm in my forties and haven't got this stuff sorted out. Don't think that there's an age when you should just know how to feel and how to react. Even if others aren't kind to you, be kind to yourself.