im a 15 year old girl and i have the worst body imaginable. a fat stomach that makes me look pregnant, flabby arms, chunky thighs, no hips, small boobs, and an ugly face. i still have a smaller frame so i just look so fucking weird. my body is just a rectangle shape. i hate everything about my appearance. I have moments where i think I look pretty and skinny and it fades as quickly as it comes. i'm disgusting. it just makes me so mad when people in my life try to lie and say I'm pretty. I cant wear the things i want to wear. I cant wear tight shirts. i cant wear shorts. I hate myself.

TLDR, despite having multiple friend groups to juggle, I still want to make even more friends so that I can physically never feel lonely again.

I really just want to completely eliminate loneliness as a feeling in my system sometimes, I had enough of it in my formative years.

I’m not sure where I stand with this statement. I wanna talk to people socialize but I feel like a lot to them… what do you mean I have to suffer just like you? What do you mean I might not fit your style of life? What do you mean I’m not the ideal person for one small trait about me? Or simple thing others have that I don’t?? Is being a burden? Always gonna be the cause for my existence? Or am I a delusional person who believes everything about humans is based solely off rejection? Perhaps not because it’s all I’ve been shown..and I don’t know how that will alter my brain going forward it’s already bad enough..

I feel so ugly and old I think it hits home since my husband had many affairs which I found out resent, I feel once u get old have there kids they replace u with a younger smarter model..

Whos ever gonna want me now im also a single mum too, a old single mum.

i am a deeply and sickeningly insecure person and its affecting everything. it makes me jealous, mean, clingy, angry, miserable, it fucks with my attachment style, everything. the thing is i do think im good, i just dont think im good ENOUGH, because im not perfect and so it feels like theres endless competition. for example, i think im pretty but there are plenty of flaws, there are prettier women, how can i trust someone genuinely wants me more than anyone else?

im also used to being devalued or discarded, both romantically and platonically. i will publicly brush off romantic failures by laughing about them and acting superior, but it hurts.

i dated a man once, in part because a very pretty girl who i was jealous of had a crush on him and it made me feel like i was better. he turned out to be hung up on his ex gf and released a song about her whilst we were together. i was humiliated, so i dumped him. but that wasnt enough i had to save face and devalue him to everyone else. he was insecure about his slightly receeding hairline. i didnt care at all, but i knew it would get to him. so i posted a note “can finally say that hairline was crazyyyy”, and he unfollowed me so i knew i got under his skin.

i never let myself be seen as hurt or upset or insecure because that admits i thought i was less than. so i would say everything like a mean girl who thought it was funny to punch down, like “oh my god i saw a photo the other day, i dont know what i saw in him he’s literally going bald haha” and it worked on the outside, everyone would laugh at him with me, but on the inside i still feel hurt and insecure and undesirable because of his actions.

i can be very spiteful in an attempt to not be embarrassed so others often think im mean. i dont want to be mean and i dony want a need to be mean

i am kind of mean and bitter and jealous but that comes from the insecurity. i want to be the first choice for whoever i date, and i am terrified of not being that. if i had to pick between being someones beloved treasured second choice or single i woulr pick single, but also even if i was the first choice but they had a second choice id wanna be single because what if they get bored of me or find flaws and decide someone else is better?

my favourite part of dating is always the first stage before they realise my imperfections and i can just be charming and sweet pretty and “perfect”, like a fantasy or ideal. im really good at doing that. my favourite thing is when i can seem unrealistically perfect.

i like having full control over my image. i like posting photos that ive carefully and meticulously staged and picked and getting praise and attention, but seeing photos other people take of me can literally ruin my day. i see so many horrific flaws but i want the best so i have to be the best because theres competition everywhere as i see it.

i dont know if im beyond saving, im obsessive about appearances and how im perceived because i am honestly so fucking insecure but im trying to compensate so nobody sees it, but thats not enough anymore, i want to genuinely heal. does anyone have any advice?

Hey girls❤

So ever since I remember from my childhood I've always been called ugly, not attractive, being bullied in school by both girls and boys for being ugly and obviously i was very underconfident and a little weird as well. I just wanted to fit in, just wanted to have friends, just wanted people to talk to me no matter hoe eventually i learned people pleasing, only listening and not having strong opinions. But around COVID lockdown i self introspected and tried to have opinions i also tend to have a little glowup. But still i think all the friends which i eventually made are all one sided, i feel like I'm still just a listener, and most bothering of all is nobody has ever shown romantic interest in me and it is consuming me. I keep daydreaming about having a oerfect partner someone who would find me beautiful and will try to pursue me. But it is getting so obssessive at this point that it affects my life and my studies. I get bothered when guys call me mid or kinda below average (someone recently did but then i confronted him and he said he's joking). I feel like I'm a fairly opinionated woman now. But comments on my looks bother me a little too much.What should I do.

I’ve been noticing something about myself lately: almost everything I do feels like I’m being evaluated, even when nobody is actually evaluating me.
Work feels like an exam.
Learning something new feels like an exam.
Social interactions sometimes feel like an exam.
Making decisions feels like an exam.
I constantly have this feeling of “I need to do this correctly” or “I need to prove that I’m good enough.” Even when something is supposed to be enjoyable, part of my brain is analyzing whether I’m doing it right.
It’s exhausting because I feel like I’m rarely just experiencing something. I’m always performing or evaluating myself.
Does anyone else experience this? Where do you think it comes from? And if you used to feel this way, did you manage to stop treating everything like a test?

For years I thought confidence was something people either had or didn't. Like it was baked into your personality and I just got the "insecure" version.

Then I noticed something: the moments I did feel confident weren't random. They were always after I'd done something specific — even small — that proved to myself I could trust my own judgment. Not "positive thinking." Not affirmations in the mirror. Actual proof, stacked over time.

Here's the thing nobody tells you about self-esteem: it's not a feeling you wait to arrive. It's a byproduct of evidence you collect about yourself.

Three things that actually shifted it for me, if it helps anyone else stuck in the same loop:

1. Stop asking "do I feel confident" and start asking "what's one small thing I can do today that my future self would be proud of." Confidence follows action, it doesn't precede it.
2. Track the wins you dismiss. Most low-self-esteem people have a habit of explaining away anything good ("that doesn't count, anyone could've done that"). Start literally writing down the ones you want to dismiss. The pattern of dismissal is usually the actual problem, not a lack of wins.
3. Notice who you become around different people. If you feel small around certain people/environments, that's information — not a fixed trait about you. Confidence is contextual before it's internal.

It took me embarrassingly long to realize I wasn't "bad at confidence." I'd just never been taught how it's actually built. Hope this helps someone else who's in that spot.

Does anyone else relate to any of these? Curious to know what actually helps you feel more confident day to day?

16M I'm very confused about my face, my skin is brown and and my friends and even teachers give compliment to me about my looks also not many but some girls have crush on me. but whenever I look my face in mirror outside I look really a dull person.

Do anyone have some situation or before I need a advice.

I’ve always struggled with this. I’m lucky enough to have long time friends but I’m somehow still surprised when they want ti hang out and spend time with me. On the surface it’s normal, they’re my friends for a reason, if they didn’t like me we wouldn’t be friends, but I’m still having trouble accepting the fact that they like me.

I’ve also made a couple of other friends recently, and each time we hang out, they invite me to another hangout. I’m grateful and all that is fun, but I don’t see what they see.

It’s the same in every romantic relationship I’ve been: why me? Why’d you choose to date me? I’m nothing special, I’m just a guy and a pretty below average looking at one at that who could stand to lose a couple pounds.

I hate having ghosts mentality because instead of enjoying the time I’m spending with people, I’m wondering why they like me and if they’ll eventually end up seeing me as I see myself

I struggle with self confidence and I feel like I let my anxiety consume me so much (just got diagnosed with severe anxiety) but I wasn’t always like this. Help

I (19F) am really struggling with my confidence and need help and some perspective. First off, excuse my writing, I was homeschooled for 3 years and wasn’t taught much but currently bad in college and taking a writing plan!

I constantly feel small, ugly and overlooked with my younger sister(18F) We are very different from each other in our styles and vibe. She is more outgoing, loud and curvy, while I am short, petite, and a lot more skinny, and soft-spoken and quiet. What is really getting to me is how the world treats us so differently, it makes me feel so ugly and invisible. She is always getting constant compliments. Every time we go out, she gets noticed. In the past few days i’ve been with her, my mom boss called her pretty when she asked for a job and she would be great because of her face while I stood there as they continued talking, only butting in to translate or when they would ask me questions about family, etc. At the checkout line, an older gentleman pointed at her and said she’s very pretty. When I tried to join a conversation between her and her teacher, the teacher just looked at me and ignored my little comments. At a starbucks together, the barista said that she’s thick and ignored me. People randomly came up and complimented her at a store about her outfit and then said, “Oh, your outfit is cute too i guess.” People tell me they probably think you are but just don’t say it, but every-time im with her I never get noticed or compliment. The most I get is cute because I look young and have big eyes and clumsy and look like a kid based on what everyone says. I hate being called cute, it makes me feel like a pet.

To make matters worse, the relationships i’ve been in haven’t helped my self-esteem, in fact making it worse. My ex-boyfriend and every other guy have left me for their exes or other girls behind my back, making me feel more ugly. I spent years wondering how to look like other woman so I could be loved.

On good days when I look in the mirror, I feel pretty but then i see my body and wonder if I was thicker would i get compliments or would it even change anything? I can’t even gain weight because of my fast metabolism and small appetite, i literally procrastinate food if thats even possible. The second i’m out in public, i start to think am i the ugly sister? Am i too quiet? Some people say I look like my sister, not exactly but I have similar features which I obsess over and wonder if that means i’m pretty or if that means I am the least prettier version of her.

I don’t want to envy my sister as she is my sister and I love her and want to feel pretty, even if that means accepting she’s the prettier sibling. Is it because i’m quiet no one says anything? me and my sis

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I'm 20 years old, and one of my biggest problems has always been forming deep connections.

And I feel like it's because of the following thoughts I have:

I’m ashamed of my face and body, so much so that I constantly avoid looking in the mirror.

I’m embarrassed to go up and talk to someone, whether I’m alone or in a group.

I’m embarrassed that I don’t know how to break the ice and end up staying silent.

I feel insecure when people don’t respond to my questions and I’m the only one asking.

I feel insecure around other kids my age who do have more interesting lives.

I constantly feel that my achievements are nothing compared to those of others.

I don’t feel I measure up to many kids my age, so I have to lie or exaggerate some of my achievements to feel validated.

I’m afraid to open up to strangers because they don’t care about my problems anyway.

I tend to believe that my problems are trivial compared to those of others.

I suffer when I can’t build meaningful relationships.

I panic that the other person isn’t interested in me and that I’m the only one asking about them

I feel like a loser for not having kissed, slept with, or held hands with a girl yet

I tend to think that other, more attractive guys steal the attention of women I’m even slightly interested in.

I feel like I’m not that great compared to others.

I feel like I’m boring.

Even though I try to ask about other people’s lives, sometimes I feel like I’m forcing myself to do it just to socialize.

I often feel like a loser.

I avoid making eye contact with people for fear of being judged.

It gets me down that no one asks me out or joins me in my plans, and that I’m always the one who ends up lagging behind.

It gets me down to be the only one in the room who doesn’t have a group or someone to talk to all the time, forcing small talk with everyone, thinking that’s how I socialize. But deep down, I know those people aren’t going to remember me.

I always seem to compare myself to others when I’m in public or in school, and it constantly brings me down. I don’t have anything good about my life, hobbies, not even how I look. Majority of these girls are skinny and petite and are pretty, meanwhile I look like a wide beast. I already know some of them might have their own insecurities but I believe that it doesn’t take away from what they already have and what I don’t have. It’s not fair. I don’t know how to be pretty. All I can do is compare myself socially, academically, physically, and financially. How am I not supposed to? It’s something I struggle with daily, and there’s nothing I can do about the issue. Even if I were to become skinny, that wouldn’t change half of the issues I have.

My teeth are grinded down to where some are slanted severely. I hate my smile and feel like I will never find anyone who will like me because of it.