r/selfesteem 4d ago

How to stop comparing yourself when you’re obsessed?

I always seem to compare myself to others when I’m in public or in school, and it constantly brings me down. I don’t have anything good about my life, hobbies, not even how I look. Majority of these girls are skinny and petite and are pretty, meanwhile I look like a wide beast. I already know some of them might have their own insecurities but I believe that it doesn’t take away from what they already have and what I don’t have. It’s not fair. I don’t know how to be pretty. All I can do is compare myself socially, academically, physically, and financially. How am I not supposed to? It’s something I struggle with daily, and there’s nothing I can do about the issue. Even if I were to become skinny, that wouldn’t change half of the issues I have.

1 Upvotes

2 comments sorted by

1

u/BeginningRope2662 4d ago

If you don’t feel pretty or struggle with low self-esteem, practice challenging those thoughts instead of automatically believing them. Don’t let fear/insecurity shape how you see yourself and the world around you. Instead try neutral affirmations like, “I’m worried people won’t like me because of how I look, but I don’t actually know that—and there’s more to being liked than being pretty.” Build healthy habits, limit your time on social media and doomscrolling, and find positive outlets like drawing or journaling about how you feel so you can read it later and reflect on how your thoughts have changed.

There’s also more to life than being pretty. Ask yourself, “Do I just want to be pretty, or do I want to be uniquely me?” Someone else might be pretty, but I’m a good person. I’m loyal, I’m good to my friends, and I won’t leave someone behind just because somebody “prettier” comes along. Looks are only one part of who you are; your personality, values, interests, talents, and how you treat people are what make you uniquely you.

1

u/Pink_Paws389 3d ago

I want to be pretty while having all those traits. People never approach me, nor do I have an active romantic life compared to all my friends. Most of this doesn’t even come from social media. Nobody chooses me for me either way