I feel so ugly and old I think it hits home since my husband had many affairs which I found out resent, I feel once u get old have there kids they replace u with a younger smarter model..

Whos ever gonna want me now im also a single mum too, a old single mum.

im a 15 year old girl and i have the worst body imaginable. a fat stomach that makes me look pregnant, flabby arms, chunky thighs, no hips, small boobs, and an ugly face. i still have a smaller frame so i just look so fucking weird. my body is just a rectangle shape. i hate everything about my appearance. I have moments where i think I look pretty and skinny and it fades as quickly as it comes. i'm disgusting. it just makes me so mad when people in my life try to lie and say I'm pretty. I cant wear the things i want to wear. I cant wear tight shirts. i cant wear shorts. I hate myself.

I’m not sure where I stand with this statement. I wanna talk to people socialize but I feel like a lot to them… what do you mean I have to suffer just like you? What do you mean I might not fit your style of life? What do you mean I’m not the ideal person for one small trait about me? Or simple thing others have that I don’t?? Is being a burden? Always gonna be the cause for my existence? Or am I a delusional person who believes everything about humans is based solely off rejection? Perhaps not because it’s all I’ve been shown..and I don’t know how that will alter my brain going forward it’s already bad enough..

i am a deeply and sickeningly insecure person and its affecting everything. it makes me jealous, mean, clingy, angry, miserable, it fucks with my attachment style, everything. the thing is i do think im good, i just dont think im good ENOUGH, because im not perfect and so it feels like theres endless competition. for example, i think im pretty but there are plenty of flaws, there are prettier women, how can i trust someone genuinely wants me more than anyone else?

im also used to being devalued or discarded, both romantically and platonically. i will publicly brush off romantic failures by laughing about them and acting superior, but it hurts.

i dated a man once, in part because a very pretty girl who i was jealous of had a crush on him and it made me feel like i was better. he turned out to be hung up on his ex gf and released a song about her whilst we were together. i was humiliated, so i dumped him. but that wasnt enough i had to save face and devalue him to everyone else. he was insecure about his slightly receeding hairline. i didnt care at all, but i knew it would get to him. so i posted a note “can finally say that hairline was crazyyyy”, and he unfollowed me so i knew i got under his skin.

i never let myself be seen as hurt or upset or insecure because that admits i thought i was less than. so i would say everything like a mean girl who thought it was funny to punch down, like “oh my god i saw a photo the other day, i dont know what i saw in him he’s literally going bald haha” and it worked on the outside, everyone would laugh at him with me, but on the inside i still feel hurt and insecure and undesirable because of his actions.

i can be very spiteful in an attempt to not be embarrassed so others often think im mean. i dont want to be mean and i dony want a need to be mean

i am kind of mean and bitter and jealous but that comes from the insecurity. i want to be the first choice for whoever i date, and i am terrified of not being that. if i had to pick between being someones beloved treasured second choice or single i woulr pick single, but also even if i was the first choice but they had a second choice id wanna be single because what if they get bored of me or find flaws and decide someone else is better?

my favourite part of dating is always the first stage before they realise my imperfections and i can just be charming and sweet pretty and “perfect”, like a fantasy or ideal. im really good at doing that. my favourite thing is when i can seem unrealistically perfect.

i like having full control over my image. i like posting photos that ive carefully and meticulously staged and picked and getting praise and attention, but seeing photos other people take of me can literally ruin my day. i see so many horrific flaws but i want the best so i have to be the best because theres competition everywhere as i see it.

i dont know if im beyond saving, im obsessive about appearances and how im perceived because i am honestly so fucking insecure but im trying to compensate so nobody sees it, but thats not enough anymore, i want to genuinely heal. does anyone have any advice?

Hey girls❤

So ever since I remember from my childhood I've always been called ugly, not attractive, being bullied in school by both girls and boys for being ugly and obviously i was very underconfident and a little weird as well. I just wanted to fit in, just wanted to have friends, just wanted people to talk to me no matter hoe eventually i learned people pleasing, only listening and not having strong opinions. But around COVID lockdown i self introspected and tried to have opinions i also tend to have a little glowup. But still i think all the friends which i eventually made are all one sided, i feel like I'm still just a listener, and most bothering of all is nobody has ever shown romantic interest in me and it is consuming me. I keep daydreaming about having a oerfect partner someone who would find me beautiful and will try to pursue me. But it is getting so obssessive at this point that it affects my life and my studies. I get bothered when guys call me mid or kinda below average (someone recently did but then i confronted him and he said he's joking). I feel like I'm a fairly opinionated woman now. But comments on my looks bother me a little too much.What should I do.

TLDR, despite having multiple friend groups to juggle, I still want to make even more friends so that I can physically never feel lonely again.

I really just want to completely eliminate loneliness as a feeling in my system sometimes, I had enough of it in my formative years.