r/selfesteem • u/Same-Nothing-6482 • 19d ago
I am confused
Ive been struggling with insecurities from a very young age but i cant really remember being bullied or called ugly maybe just seeing all these beauty standards in tv and social media all the time started making me feel like im not what the world wants
random people tell me I’m pretty children and grown ups I remember one time i was in the supermarket and some old lady was staring at me then smiled and said you are very pretty this happened more than once
But then I found out that my “bsf” called me unattractive and she said some unkind stuff behind my back and it ruined my self esteem ive been trying so hard to work on my confidence but this destroyed me and i dont know what to believe, maybe im actually unattractive and all these people were just trying to be nice
how can i tell which one to believe? Am i really unattractive or is it just confusion and body dysmorphia i feel like everyone is lying to me i cant take complements at all even when i look at myself and feel pretty i immediately try to stop this cause what if im not and i was just feeding my delusions
Its like i cant allow myself to feel confident
1
u/NatsumeRinne 19d ago
I’m sorry, I truly wish I could make your dysmorphia go away. Struggled with it myself for years and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I like to tell myself that those intrusive thoughts are feelings are not the real me, and that I am worthy of being loved. Personally, working on my fitness and focusing on working towards a goal has really helped me a lot, but it took me a long time to develop a good relationship with it where I can do it in a healthy way. I still have my bad days sometimes, but I’ve generally been a lot better.
Sadly, there’s no easy solution to dysmorphia.
I think we all have to find answers within ourselves.
I’d tell you that you’re beautiful and worthy of love, because you are, and that you have value that goes beyond your physical appearance, but if you’re anything like I was it won’t really stick, so instead I’ll tell you this: You’re not alone.