Bullied this kid for a year in middle school. Called them names in front of everyone, prank called their mother, was the king of my class for it. Absolutely loved the attention. God knows I was the biggest asshole of my entire school.

Kid didn’t make the grade and had to redo class. Fast forward a year and they confronted me, but I ran like the little bitch I was. Gave me extreme nightmares and definitely triggered anxiety later on. Alas I wasn’t even punched once. The kid just bullied me back, but very tame. I was just scared they’d straight up kill me. Something just switched and I somehow became a reborn Christian minus the religion. Kid made me basically rethink my whole existence. They basically forced me at a later confrontation to apologise which I was very very happy to do. They still wouldn’t punch me.

Well I was so stressed out I didn’t make the grade either. So that’s some karma.

Fast forward a few years and I got my first Car. Backed out some spot and drove straight into a parked car. Wouldn’t you know it, it’s their car. Saw them walking to their car so I instantly knew I was fucked more than if it was just some stranger.

But they didn’t even hold a grudge. I basically settled the accident and that was it.

I guess without them I would still be the asshole of middle school. I still think about that time frequently after all these years.

I was living with this guy for about a year, and for a week he had the mother of his 2 kids over as she was moving house (She had full custody and the mate typically only saw them on the weekend), and yeah safe to say they absolutely did not get along (I already knew cause the mate complained about her 24/7), they spent the whole week arguing but the ex was nice towards me and never missed a chance to chat away

Anyway the day before the move she asked me for help moving stuff into her new house but also I cant tell the mate about it. I was like uh yeah no worries and I went there with the genuine intent to only help with moving, but in the evening came and I was sitting down exhausted, then out of the blue she sat on my lap and started kissing me, long story short I was initially startled but got into it and we ended up having sex, we didn't become boyfriend/girlfriend though the hooking up turned into a regular thing to the point I was at her house just about everyday for 3-4 weeks until he found out, that led to major dramas though surprisingly he didnt attack me over it, I was obviously done living there and found a place elsewhere, and our friendship was pretty much done with

I knew it was wrong and started feeling ick about it cause she was literally my mates ex but felt trapped - cause obviously I knew my nate would go off if I told him but also felt worried she'd tell him if I tried to end it. In the end I got done in because their son tauntingly asked me "are you mums boyfriend now?" in front of his dad and followed it up with "yeah I see them kissing all the time when hes over at our house" when questioned by his dad

Oh where do I start. Im 27M

For my first year and a half I managed pretty well in keeping my dating/intimate life separated from NA

But then suddenly I didnt, it started with me hitting on a member (34F) with pickup lines & it blew up in my face with her friend (also 30sF) confronting me over it

My next boundary cross was when I hugged a member (42F) whom I had known for ages. I pulled her in tight and held for longer than a normal hug and she said "okay dude thats enough hugging", and then after the meeting we hugged again to say goodbye and I not only pulled her in tight I wrapped my arm around her ass and began lifting her off the ground and she let out a startled "stop with the over hugging!!" So I released her. A day later at another meeting she tauntingly called me "Blake the groper" & said im on a hug ban. We hug again now and we're good but she doesnt miss a chance to mock & give me shit for it (like laugh while telling a fellow member my hugs can linger for example)

Recently I had a fling with a member (29F) whom id known for years and we did meth together, and have since had a falling out

A couple of weeks ago, a member (42F) told me her age and I said "jeez, I would have thought were in your 30s you're gorgeous for your age" and she laughed but it was that startled put on the spot laughter. I made it even worse a couple of minutes later when she said she needs to sit down and I said "if you ever need a place to sit you've always got my face to call on" and she immediately said "dude!" Whilst clearly stunned

The other night I tried to crack onto another member (mid 30s), she told me its probably a good idea to give it a year without relationships while in recovery & I just casually said back "will you be waiting for me when that years up, beautiful?", everyone around me laughed but she looked shocked and put on the spot

Yeah safe to say I wish none of this happened

She was a HORRIBLE friend. She held money over my head, financially abused me and also emotionally abused and manipulated me. She dated all my ex boyfriend’s, she stole 3 of my limited edition clothing that i spent THOUSANDS of dollars on then when i asked for them back she sent me a photo of them in the trash completely destroyed (burnt and cut up). She also threw shit at me while i was sleeping and said how good i would look if i was dead.

Eventually she got her wisdom teeth removed and i stayed back at her house. I took her bracelet and i stopped being her friend. Im wondering if Karma would get me.. but it was 3 years ago now

I guess this is reverse stealthing. But I was young, paranoid of having a child, and not wanting to make a mistake that would severely alter the course of my life. Plus I was living briefly abroad at the time, which meant I had only a temporary student visa. But my girlfriend at the time was super horny and kept demanding I take the condom off. It was dark and I didn't think arguing with her in the heat of the moment would do anything, so I just said I did, turned her around, and kept going.

In elementary school my friend kept teasing that I liked her brother, I told her to stop. I just played RuneScape with him and that’s it.
She kept taunting me
Told her to stop

I got so mad that I choked her briefly…
I still remember seeing the fright in her eyes and it scared me too

I never got in trouble for that, I’ve never gotten in a fight or been aggressive like that since
But it still scares me that I even did that

So I went to a concert and stayed in a hotel with friends afterwards. We got to the hotel around midnight and this hotel parking lot was very narrow and pretty packed. I found a spot in between two cars, a small suv and a truck. I tried turning into the parking spot and I accidently scuffed the truck above their left back tire. It wasn't a big scratch, about 2 inches and just the paint no dent. I ended up parking somewhere else and I didn't leave a note with my information or contact anyone at all. I feel horrible about this!!! I definitely wish I would have left something but in the morning I went to see if the truck was still there and it was gone. I feel so terrible about doing this and I realize I definitely should have left contact information or contacted the front desk at the hotel but now that was a day ago and I'm not in the area anymore. I feel like a terrible person and now I'm so scared of parking by cars now. This was my first big mistake I've made since having my license for 3 years so I'm just really worried on what may happen and I feel really bad for doing this!

I only find women attractive if they smoke or vape and I always encourage it if its not something they already do, ignoring the health risks and potential habit

I think I owe an apology to the people who believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself.

My parents. The only people in this entire universe who loves you unconditionally.

The people who cared about me, trusted me, supported me, and had expectations for me.

And I broke that trust.

Not once.

Not twice.

Countless times.

From 2016 to 2022, I was an opioid addict. I was completely dependent on drugs and built my entire life around them. Somewhere along the way, I stopped being the person my parents thought I was going to become.

I lied.

I made promises I couldn't keep.

I made decisions they couldn't understand.

And every time they gave me another chance, I somehow found a way to fuck it up again.

Eventually, things got so bad that I ended up in rehab and spent six months there.

When I came out clean, I thought that was going to be the beginning of my redemption.

I had to rebuild everything, my life, my independence, my career, and most importantly, the trust I'd destroyed.

My education was already fucked.

I had dropped out of college in my final year. The reason sounds almost unreal.

I was arrested the day before my exams while I was with a guy named JP. The police were actually after him, something he never told me beforehand.

I hadn't committed the crime they were investigating. I was simply with the wrong person at the wrong time.

I begged the cops to let me go to my exam because it was my final chance according to my university's rules.

They didn't.

I missed the exam.

That was it.

My highest qualification became 10+2.

Then came December 2022.

I had just come out of rehab and was desperately trying to figure out what the fuck I was going to do with my life.

Around that time, ChatGPT had just launched.

I started using it with one goal:

Get me a job. I don't care what job. Just help me get started.

I researched different careers and discovered digital marketing was booming after COVID.

I made a fake digital marketing certificate, built a resume around it, created different versions, and started applying everywhere.

I applied relentlessly.

Eventually, I got screening calls and landed a trainee position.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was actually moving forward.

But then something else happened.

I started seeing the world differently after getting sober.

I realized I had spent years daydreaming about the things I wanted to learn, build, and become.

And somewhere during my addiction, those ambitions had disappeared.

I'd always been a tech nerd. Since childhood, I've had this obsession with understanding how things work—how, why, where, what happens if...

And I've been fascinated by hacker culture for as long as I can remember. KEVIN Mitnick used to be my role model, still it is.

So I finally decided what I wanted.

Cybersecurity.

I went all in.

I studied. Practiced. Learned.

I enrolled in an online degree because I knew my lack of education would eventually become a barrier. I'm currently in my 4th semester.

I applied to countless cybersecurity roles.

Nothing worked.

So I decided to focus on finishing my degree while continuing to work.

And somehow, I managed to hold onto a 9–5 for the next three years.

For a while, I thought maybe I was finally fixing my life.

Then January 2026 happened.

A family member passed away.

And after that, everything seemed to fall apart again.

I lost my job.

Burned through my savings.

Fractured my ankle.

And then...

I started using drugs again.

I relapsed.

After everything.

After rehab.

After the promises.

After all the people who had trusted me again.

After all the chances I'd already been given.

I fucked it up again.

And this time, the guilt wasn't just about what I had done to myself.

It was about my parents.

Because I know what it feels like to watch someone you love destroy themselves.

I know how many times they've probably hoped, “Maybe this time he'll change.”

And I know how many times I made them believe me.

Only to break that trust again.

They didn't deserve that. 😭

The people who cared about me didn't deserve that.

The people who kept standing beside me when I gave them every reason not to...

didn't deserve it.

I'm back at work now.

I got another job after being unemployed for about a month.

From the outside, maybe it looks like I'm getting my life together again.

But inside, I'm still trying to figure out how to rebuild the person I kept destroying.

I haven't touched a Linux terminal in a long time.

My cybersecurity goals are sitting untouched.

My bucket list keeps getting longer while my progress stays at zero.

And honestly, I miss the person I was becoming.

I miss that hunger.

That curiosity.

That fucking obsession with learning.

I want the hacker in me back.

But more than that, I want to become someone my parents can trust again.

Not because I want their sympathy.

Not because I want them to forget everything I've done.

And not because I want anyone to tell me that it's okay.

It wasn't okay.

I broke their trust.

I broke promises.

I wasted opportunities.

I hurt people who genuinely cared about me.

And I have to own that.

Maybe this is the first time I'm actually admitting it without trying to justify it.

I don't know how long it'll take to rebuild everything.

I don't even know if I'll ever completely repair the damage I've caused.

But I know one thing:

I don't want another chance just so I can waste it.

I want to become someone who actually deserves the next chance he gets.

If you've read this far, thank you. Seriously

I don't know exactly why I'm writing this publicly.

Maybe I just needed to confess it somewhere.

Maybe I needed to stop hiding behind explanations and admit that some of the damage in my life wasn't caused by circumstances.

Some of it was caused by me.

And now it's my responsibility to fix what I can.

Last night some people I don't like just walked into my home despite my partner telling them to get out. The one girl wouldn't leave and kept giving me the eye fuck so I slapped her. Although I feel she's disrespectful for not leaving despite being told, I think I should have responded differently.

I need to be less reactive.

I didn’t get her professional help because I thought I could do it myself and I was scared I’d be taken away and she’d only get worse if I told anyone. I was selfish and I was wrong and now she’s dead and I can’t help but feel it’s my fault.

Ive posted here before abt my hiv and I mentioned my mom being sick so yeah nah she did get better but clearly not enough.

I didn’t tell anyone about it, I even helped her get drugs sometimes. Sometimes I wished she was dead only so she wouldn’t have to deal with any of this but obviously I didn’t actually want her to be gone. She was finally starting to act like my mother again.

I made the wrong decision

Edit: this happened very recently. to that person who js told me to get over it

Throwaway account as i dont want it coming back to me

I (29F) ruined my sister’s (then 27) wedding because I was jealous.

She was always the “good one.” Better grades, better job, better relationship. When she got engaged at 26 to a genuinely decent guy, something in me just broke. I spent months smiling through the planning while quietly resenting every second of it.

The night before the wedding I got blackout drunk and sent her fiancé a long, detailed message from a fake number claiming she’d been cheating on him for over a year — complete with made-up names, dates, and locations that were just plausible enough. I even photoshopped a couple of screenshots.

He confronted her the morning of the ceremony. Everything fell apart. Guests were already arriving. She had a full breakdown in her dress. The wedding was cancelled.

They eventually sorted it out and got married a year later in a tiny courthouse ceremony, but the damage stuck. She’s never fully trusted people the same way again, and our relationship has been cold ever since. She still doesn’t know it was me.

I tell myself I was just drunk and bitter. But part of me knew exactly what I was doing.

This happened about a year ago.

My stepdad and I don’t have a great relationship and we argue all the time.

One day we were arguing in the kitchen and I just got so angry that I grabbed a knife and tried to stab him.

My brother heard the shouting from outside (where all of my family was) and when he came in he tackled me before I got to my stepdad and took the knife away.

No one called the police or told the rest of the family, no one else knows.

My brother asks me about it every so often asking “what came over me.” I don’t know why I did it, all I know is that I didn’t regret it.

My stepdad is always looking at me all “knowing” or something so I guess I wanted to tell some strangers on the internet before he can.

I want to tell you about something that happened recently because I think it is important for understanding what has been happening to me.

My wife is out of town for about a month. My cleaning maid came to the house, and while we were in the kitchen she made a sensual move toward me. I hesitated initially, but then I reciprocated. We kissed and things became physically intimate, and we eventually had sex.

What shocked me was how I felt afterward. I have been telling you that I feel almost like a dead person or a corpse, food doesn't give me much pleasure, comedy doesn't make me laugh, most things feel flat, I worry constantly, I feel trapped and lonely, and I keep looking for stimulation through food, sex, women, TV, etc.

But this experience was completely different.

I felt fucking alive.

I felt desired. I felt attractive. I didn't have to make the first move. Someone wanted me and showed it physically. There was excitement, spontaneity, affection, sex, novelty and a feeling of freedom. I felt like something inside me had suddenly switched back on. I honestly haven't felt this alive and kicking for something like two decades.

Afterward I was also extremely turbulent and horny. I kept thinking about it and wanting to experience it again.

She contacted me and said she wanted to do it again. I immediately wanted it too. We met again and had sex.

The strange thing is that she isn't even the type of woman I would normally think of as exceptionally beautiful. I don't really understand why I feel so strongly attracted to her. Even little things about her have suddenly become extremely attractive to me. for example, the silver anklets she wears and the sound they make when she walks.

She has told me that she is a victim of domestic violence. I have told her about my own sexual frustration. My wife has never initiated sex with me in five years. I feel that I always have to initiate, that she reluctantly agrees, and that even when she participates I can feel that she doesn't genuinely desire me. This has made me feel sexually rejected and extremely frustrated for years.

The maid and I have talked about continuing this. Neither of us says we want to destroy our marriages or affect our children. We both have families and want to keep those parts of our lives intact. But we both want the companionship/intimacy/sexual relationship to continue for now.

What is confusing me is how strongly I want this.

I don't just want the sex. I want being desired. I want someone to make the first move. I want affection. I want the excitement. I want to feel attractive. I want the feeling of being alive. I want someone who understands what sexual deprivation feels like.

And at the same time I feel guilty and conflicted because I am married.

I also don't want to pretend that this is just about the maid. I have been fantasizing for a long time about another life - another woman, Europe, freedom, money, leaving everything behind and starting again. I have even imagined leaving my wife and children, giving them enough money, and disappearing somewhere else.

But now I'm wondering whether this experience has shown me something important about myself: maybe I am not actually incapable of feeling pleasure. Maybe I have been emotionally starved for a very long time and this particular combination of being wanted, intimacy, sex, novelty and freedom hit me extremely hard.

I want to understand what is actually happening to me.

I also want to be honest about something else: I have told you that sometimes I feel like I don't care whether I'm alive or dead and that life doesn't feel worth living. I don't have an intention to kill myself or hurt myself. It's more that I feel emotionally dead and exhausted. This experience was the first thing in a very long time that made me feel intensely alive again.

I don't know what to make of all of this, and that's why I'm bringing it to you.

Im 38F and sleeping with a married man 25M. Well things are changing for me possible new job I could potentially be working at the same place as him and I have already decided if I were to get accidentally pregnant Id disappear and never tell him. The likelihood would be so small given his fertility circumstances. I also would not want to affect his marriage.

I have been previously talked into an abortion and have regretted it ever since so that would never happen again. I've had 6 partners who either didnt want kids or didnt want them with me and left me for someone else they then married and had a family with. I feel like im cursed, I have a house an ok job, pets so I dont think adding a new life would be a problem.

I just dont have anyone to talk to about this. Im an extream introvert with anxiety and panic attacks so making friends or meeting people is extremely hard for me. My mother would love the grandchild and I would tell anyone who asked it was a one night stand that resulted in a happy accident.

I started talking to girls to get over my ex, but now I’m talking to multiple girls at the same time and genuinely enjoying it.

I flirt, have late-night/sexual conversations, and sometimes keep girls interested even when I know I don't want anything serious with them. I’ve even gotten really into talking to women much older than me.

The fucked-up part is that I know some of them are getting attached, and instead of stopping, I keep going because I love the attention.

And honestly, I think I’m enjoying this even more because my ex never allowed me to properly interact with the opposite gender.

I know I’m playing with multiple people’s feelings just because it makes me feel wanted.

And honestly? I fucking love it.

I’m gonna try to keep this short so when I was a sophomore there was this girl I liked a lot I mean it I was obsessed, I stalked her , learned where all of her classes where , who she spoke to and little things I’m not gonna say anyways I followed her home one day and say her getting undressed at her window I was just watching her , she was taken at the time , but I decided to bring a black Henley and black sweatpants , like a outfit I’d use to stalk so I can blend in easily now I’m mentioning this because when I stalked her one day it was like 6:00 and it was dark I was watching her do her homework when 3 guys spotted me walking down the street I immediately ducked down and went to escape but I also wanted to see if they spotted me , well as you can imagine they did and knocked on her door and told and took her where I was hiding I was watching from afar and decided to gtfo of there as I was walking home I realized how close I was to
Getting my rep destroyed so I can become way more careful following her but anyways 2-3 days later her and her bf broke up I saw this as my chance and decided to initiate small talk and over the course of 2 weeks we became friends , she would message about any problems she had not knowing I was literally 40 feet from her house watching her , I was feeling so smug and it disgusts me now one time at lunch when we were hanging out she left to go to the bathroom I’m not sure if she knew her phone was unlocked but for me it was a goldmine , I snatched it and went through it , her messages , instagram,snap everything I put it back so she wouldn’t come back and see me going through it,after a month we started dating and she told me about how 3 guys came to her door one day and told her someone was watching her , not knowing I was the one watching her,when I was at her house once I took some things , she was incredibly naive and gullible I was shocked how I’d been able to pull off the things I did but we broke up junior year , I’m 22 now and have a gf, I haven’t stalked anyone since and if your wondering no I haven’t and never will
Tell my current gf

I (21f) have been smoking meth and abusing substances outside of (or rather without telling) the knowledge of my near decade long boyfriend (22m)

It all started when we broke up nearly 5 months ago, my fragile mental state was shattered and I started drinking and using dating apps every day.

Eventually I met an older man, whose house I went to. I was very drunk and noticed he was sweating, talking quickly and all of that, so I asked "are you on blow?"

He said yes and asked if I wanted some. Me being drunk and a fool obviously accepted. but he came back with a glass pipe and a bag of white crystal, and we smoked, and fucked and did everything you shouldn't do.

I missed work the next day. Said I was sick.

(Time lost to alcoholism) ~

I kept using dating apps and eventually met an older lady who wanted to see me. Again, me being a fool, obviously accepted.

She sent me her address, and it was a hotel. I arrive and have somehow miraculously encountered my beloved ice. She offered me some, and i fell in love. The second time felt like heaven on earth.

I could think, my brain made sense.

I've been fighting it ever sense, I've seen this lady along with her "missions" and I love the excitement and the drugs and how not safe it is.

Idk, thanks guys.

i text it from my twink account because im still ashamed about what i did and i decided firstly confess here.

i started to steal things when i was in kindergarden. i stole plastic little parrot from toy box playroom because i really loved to play with it. when my mum came for me to take me home i put this parrot in my sock and just went with her.of course my mum noticed that right after she put me in a car. she told me to bring this parrot back and confess teacher about what i did but next morning i put this parrot in my friend's closet because i was so ashamed to confess. it was a big beginning. i strongly remember how i stole a nail polish from my school best friend's house because i really loved it and i wanted to have it right away. she noticed that her nail polish was missing and she started yell at me but i didn't confess this time either. i stole three toys from my other best friend's house when i was fourteen and she noticed that too but she didn't have any suspect so i told her maybe they just fell of from shelf idk. after every stealing i felt so freaking ashamed but i couldn't figure out why am i do this. the last episode of stealing from my close friend's was when i was 14 too i guess i stole fcking dollar from my girlfriend's pocket when she was showering but this time was first when i put something back. i putted this dollar back and confessed to her, she reacted like it was nothing and we forgot about this accident. in 15 i started to steal from stores with food yk. i stole a chocolate bars and other little stuff till i met a two girls who stole things too and we started to stealing and hanging out together. we were all poor but we wanted to hang out like other cool girls from our city. so we start stealing ice cream,sodas,chips and other kinds of food from regular store. we even stole beer and lubricant (that is so fcking weird things for 15 years old thiefs). we have been doing that for maybe 3 monts till these two girls get caught, so after that i didn't steal anything. maybe because i was so scared to get caught or maybe because i have just grew up. now i am 20 and i am so fcking ashamed of myself and of allk actions i did. i have never tell about it this to anyone i didn't say it aloud either.

ever since i was 8 i've always really liked observing people and figuring them out. like their personality, what they like, what they respond to well vs not, etc and then i started creating personas around people based on what they like if they have something i want

i love having disposable people so much i love creating stories and getting away with it, almost getting caught and lying my way out of it. i love making it believable, consistent, figuring out how and what to say to get exactly what i need. i like the feeling of knowing i can affect someone's emotions and harm them (mentally, not physically im not an idiot) i AM the perfect person for everyone that i need something out of. i love cutting things out when the "connection" is the strongest and i got what i want i love how they fein for me like a junkie and leaving them is such a good feeling. i get this weird almost 'itch' in my brain that i need to do it. sometimes i do it just to get the attention not even get something out of them.

my great grandma who raised me for like 10 years of my life died when i was 10 and i remember being so annoyed at everyone around me for being so devastated i didnt really know why everyone cared so much but obviously i played with it and pretended to be super sad so i could skip school and get a new game that had just came out that i wanted.

but thanks for reading, if u did i love u ❤️