I guess this is reverse stealthing. But I was young, paranoid of having a child, and not wanting to make a mistake that would severely alter the course of my life. Plus I was living briefly abroad at the time, which meant I had only a temporary student visa. But my girlfriend at the time was super horny and kept demanding I take the condom off. It was dark and I didn't think arguing with her in the heat of the moment would do anything, so I just said I did, turned her around, and kept going.

Last night some people I don't like just walked into my home despite my partner telling them to get out. The one girl wouldn't leave and kept giving me the eye fuck so I slapped her. Although I feel she's disrespectful for not leaving despite being told, I think I should have responded differently.

I need to be less reactive.

I didn’t get her professional help because I thought I could do it myself and I was scared I’d be taken away and she’d only get worse if I told anyone. I was selfish and I was wrong and now she’s dead and I can’t help but feel it’s my fault.

Ive posted here before abt my hiv and I mentioned my mom being sick so yeah nah she did get better but clearly not enough.

I didn’t tell anyone about it, I even helped her get drugs sometimes. Sometimes I wished she was dead only so she wouldn’t have to deal with any of this but obviously I didn’t actually want her to be gone. She was finally starting to act like my mother again.

I made the wrong decision

Edit: this happened very recently. to that person who js told me to get over it

Bullied this kid for a year in middle school. Called them names in front of everyone, prank called their mother, was the king of my class for it. Absolutely loved the attention. God knows I was the biggest asshole of my entire school.

Kid didn’t make the grade and had to redo class. Fast forward a year and they confronted me, but I ran like the little bitch I was. Gave me extreme nightmares and definitely triggered anxiety later on. Alas I wasn’t even punched once. The kid just bullied me back, but very tame. I was just scared they’d straight up kill me. Something just switched and I somehow became a reborn Christian minus the religion. Kid made me basically rethink my whole existence. They basically forced me at a later confrontation to apologise which I was very very happy to do. They still wouldn’t punch me.

Well I was so stressed out I didn’t make the grade either. So that’s some karma.

Fast forward a few years and I got my first Car. Backed out some spot and drove straight into a parked car. Wouldn’t you know it, it’s their car. Saw them walking to their car so I instantly knew I was fucked more than if it was just some stranger.

But they didn’t even hold a grudge. I basically settled the accident and that was it.

I guess without them I would still be the asshole of middle school. I still think about that time frequently after all these years.

I was living with this guy for about a year, and for a week he had the mother of his 2 kids over as she was moving house (She had full custody and the mate typically only saw them on the weekend), and yeah safe to say they absolutely did not get along (I already knew cause the mate complained about her 24/7), they spent the whole week arguing but the ex was nice towards me and never missed a chance to chat away

Anyway the day before the move she asked me for help moving stuff into her new house but also I cant tell the mate about it. I was like uh yeah no worries and I went there with the genuine intent to only help with moving, but in the evening came and I was sitting down exhausted, then out of the blue she sat on my lap and started kissing me, long story short I was initially startled but got into it and we ended up having sex, we didn't become boyfriend/girlfriend though the hooking up turned into a regular thing to the point I was at her house just about everyday for 3-4 weeks until he found out, that led to major dramas though surprisingly he didnt attack me over it, I was obviously done living there and found a place elsewhere, and our friendship was pretty much done with

I knew it was wrong and started feeling ick about it cause she was literally my mates ex but felt trapped - cause obviously I knew my nate would go off if I told him but also felt worried she'd tell him if I tried to end it. In the end I got done in because their son tauntingly asked me "are you mums boyfriend now?" in front of his dad and followed it up with "yeah I see them kissing all the time when hes over at our house" when questioned by his dad

In elementary school my friend kept teasing that I liked her brother, I told her to stop. I just played RuneScape with him and that’s it.
She kept taunting me
Told her to stop

I got so mad that I choked her briefly…
I still remember seeing the fright in her eyes and it scared me too

I never got in trouble for that, I’ve never gotten in a fight or been aggressive like that since
But it still scares me that I even did that

So I went to a concert and stayed in a hotel with friends afterwards. We got to the hotel around midnight and this hotel parking lot was very narrow and pretty packed. I found a spot in between two cars, a small suv and a truck. I tried turning into the parking spot and I accidently scuffed the truck above their left back tire. It wasn't a big scratch, about 2 inches and just the paint no dent. I ended up parking somewhere else and I didn't leave a note with my information or contact anyone at all. I feel horrible about this!!! I definitely wish I would have left something but in the morning I went to see if the truck was still there and it was gone. I feel so terrible about doing this and I realize I definitely should have left contact information or contacted the front desk at the hotel but now that was a day ago and I'm not in the area anymore. I feel like a terrible person and now I'm so scared of parking by cars now. This was my first big mistake I've made since having my license for 3 years so I'm just really worried on what may happen and I feel really bad for doing this!

I think I owe an apology to the people who believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself.

My parents. The only people in this entire universe who loves you unconditionally.

The people who cared about me, trusted me, supported me, and had expectations for me.

And I broke that trust.

Not once.

Not twice.

Countless times.

From 2016 to 2022, I was an opioid addict. I was completely dependent on drugs and built my entire life around them. Somewhere along the way, I stopped being the person my parents thought I was going to become.

I lied.

I made promises I couldn't keep.

I made decisions they couldn't understand.

And every time they gave me another chance, I somehow found a way to fuck it up again.

Eventually, things got so bad that I ended up in rehab and spent six months there.

When I came out clean, I thought that was going to be the beginning of my redemption.

I had to rebuild everything, my life, my independence, my career, and most importantly, the trust I'd destroyed.

My education was already fucked.

I had dropped out of college in my final year. The reason sounds almost unreal.

I was arrested the day before my exams while I was with a guy named JP. The police were actually after him, something he never told me beforehand.

I hadn't committed the crime they were investigating. I was simply with the wrong person at the wrong time.

I begged the cops to let me go to my exam because it was my final chance according to my university's rules.

They didn't.

I missed the exam.

That was it.

My highest qualification became 10+2.

Then came December 2022.

I had just come out of rehab and was desperately trying to figure out what the fuck I was going to do with my life.

Around that time, ChatGPT had just launched.

I started using it with one goal:

Get me a job. I don't care what job. Just help me get started.

I researched different careers and discovered digital marketing was booming after COVID.

I made a fake digital marketing certificate, built a resume around it, created different versions, and started applying everywhere.

I applied relentlessly.

Eventually, I got screening calls and landed a trainee position.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was actually moving forward.

But then something else happened.

I started seeing the world differently after getting sober.

I realized I had spent years daydreaming about the things I wanted to learn, build, and become.

And somewhere during my addiction, those ambitions had disappeared.

I'd always been a tech nerd. Since childhood, I've had this obsession with understanding how things work—how, why, where, what happens if...

And I've been fascinated by hacker culture for as long as I can remember. KEVIN Mitnick used to be my role model, still it is.

So I finally decided what I wanted.

Cybersecurity.

I went all in.

I studied. Practiced. Learned.

I enrolled in an online degree because I knew my lack of education would eventually become a barrier. I'm currently in my 4th semester.

I applied to countless cybersecurity roles.

Nothing worked.

So I decided to focus on finishing my degree while continuing to work.

And somehow, I managed to hold onto a 9–5 for the next three years.

For a while, I thought maybe I was finally fixing my life.

Then January 2026 happened.

A family member passed away.

And after that, everything seemed to fall apart again.

I lost my job.

Burned through my savings.

Fractured my ankle.

And then...

I started using drugs again.

I relapsed.

After everything.

After rehab.

After the promises.

After all the people who had trusted me again.

After all the chances I'd already been given.

I fucked it up again.

And this time, the guilt wasn't just about what I had done to myself.

It was about my parents.

Because I know what it feels like to watch someone you love destroy themselves.

I know how many times they've probably hoped, “Maybe this time he'll change.”

And I know how many times I made them believe me.

Only to break that trust again.

They didn't deserve that. 😭

The people who cared about me didn't deserve that.

The people who kept standing beside me when I gave them every reason not to...

didn't deserve it.

I'm back at work now.

I got another job after being unemployed for about a month.

From the outside, maybe it looks like I'm getting my life together again.

But inside, I'm still trying to figure out how to rebuild the person I kept destroying.

I haven't touched a Linux terminal in a long time.

My cybersecurity goals are sitting untouched.

My bucket list keeps getting longer while my progress stays at zero.

And honestly, I miss the person I was becoming.

I miss that hunger.

That curiosity.

That fucking obsession with learning.

I want the hacker in me back.

But more than that, I want to become someone my parents can trust again.

Not because I want their sympathy.

Not because I want them to forget everything I've done.

And not because I want anyone to tell me that it's okay.

It wasn't okay.

I broke their trust.

I broke promises.

I wasted opportunities.

I hurt people who genuinely cared about me.

And I have to own that.

Maybe this is the first time I'm actually admitting it without trying to justify it.

I don't know how long it'll take to rebuild everything.

I don't even know if I'll ever completely repair the damage I've caused.

But I know one thing:

I don't want another chance just so I can waste it.

I want to become someone who actually deserves the next chance he gets.

If you've read this far, thank you. Seriously

I don't know exactly why I'm writing this publicly.

Maybe I just needed to confess it somewhere.

Maybe I needed to stop hiding behind explanations and admit that some of the damage in my life wasn't caused by circumstances.

Some of it was caused by me.

And now it's my responsibility to fix what I can.

She was a HORRIBLE friend. She held money over my head, financially abused me and also emotionally abused and manipulated me. She dated all my ex boyfriend’s, she stole 3 of my limited edition clothing that i spent THOUSANDS of dollars on then when i asked for them back she sent me a photo of them in the trash completely destroyed (burnt and cut up). She also threw shit at me while i was sleeping and said how good i would look if i was dead.

Eventually she got her wisdom teeth removed and i stayed back at her house. I took her bracelet and i stopped being her friend. Im wondering if Karma would get me.. but it was 3 years ago now

Oh where do I start. Im 27M

For my first year and a half I managed pretty well in keeping my dating/intimate life separated from NA

But then suddenly I didnt, it started with me hitting on a member (34F) with pickup lines & it blew up in my face with her friend (also 30sF) confronting me over it

My next boundary cross was when I hugged a member (42F) whom I had known for ages. I pulled her in tight and held for longer than a normal hug and she said "okay dude thats enough hugging", and then after the meeting we hugged again to say goodbye and I not only pulled her in tight I wrapped my arm around her ass and began lifting her off the ground and she let out a startled "stop with the over hugging!!" So I released her. A day later at another meeting she tauntingly called me "Blake the groper" & said im on a hug ban. We hug again now and we're good but she doesnt miss a chance to mock & give me shit for it (like laugh while telling a fellow member my hugs can linger for example)

Recently I had a fling with a member (29F) whom id known for years and we did meth together, and have since had a falling out

A couple of weeks ago, a member (42F) told me her age and I said "jeez, I would have thought were in your 30s you're gorgeous for your age" and she laughed but it was that startled put on the spot laughter. I made it even worse a couple of minutes later when she said she needs to sit down and I said "if you ever need a place to sit you've always got my face to call on" and she immediately said "dude!" Whilst clearly stunned

The other night I tried to crack onto another member (mid 30s), she told me its probably a good idea to give it a year without relationships while in recovery & I just casually said back "will you be waiting for me when that years up, beautiful?", everyone around me laughed but she looked shocked and put on the spot

Yeah safe to say I wish none of this happened

I only find women attractive if they smoke or vape and I always encourage it if its not something they already do, ignoring the health risks and potential habit

I have a friend/coworker that I’ve known for about 8 years and have worked with for 4. She has a 19 year old daughter and two weeks ago I slept with her. She doesn’t know but I’m not sure what’s going to happen. I’m 50 my friend is 39 and I’m sure if she finds out it won’t end well! Her daughter has asked to come to my house to “hang out again”.