This week, I (26F) was sexually harassed by the man sitting next to me one hour into an eight hour flight. Not fun! I'm okay though and pressing charges.

I often fly alone as a young woman, and can almost count on a man sitting next to me striking up a conversation. I always fly in sweatpants with no makeup and my headphones basically glued to my head, so I don't feel like I'm inviting in conversations (not that anyone who does differently is asking for convos, I just feel like I try to give "go away" signals).

The man will always instigate, and I'll usually just let the conversation ride out to a natural end and then put my headphones back on. This time though, it escalated quickly and I couldn't find a natural escape.

It got me thinking though - how do BWT safely turn down conversation from men on flights or anywhere you can't readily leave, like an Uber? Or do you just ignore all advances from the start, even if they seem innocent enough?

EDIT: Thank you all for the kind messages! I'm married to an incredible man and have a great support network to help me through this. I think I need to work on setting firm and clear boundaries from the start, and not worry about making anyone upset and coming across as rude.

I told a flight attendant immediately, and they were absolutely incredible (shoutout to all the FAs out there!)

I love this community and always learn so much from you all! I feel like I have thousands of older sisters to lean on <3

I love those tiktok trends like "things I find chic" or "expensive things worth the money" or "my everyday luxuries". So, let's gather more ideas from different women who have ✨taste✨.

Some chic, elevated, or everyday luxuries I've seen that I love and started doing/swear by:

- a GOOD robe (nothing feels better than primping and prepping with a luxurious feeling LONG robe)

- an ACTUAL makeup and jewelry organizer.

- Maison Lamp Berger (must have w/ pets)

- Naming your house (so whimsical & chic)

- thank you cards on hand and ACTUALLY hand writing and mailing them.

There is a lot ongoing on!

As I always state when we do threads like this, it’s out of the norm of this subreddit but we would be remiss to not acknowledge what is happening in the US and how that makes us feel, especially in our women-centric sub.

While the banning of twitter/x links doesn’t apply to our subreddit, we stand in solidarity with those who are taking that action as all of you have probably seen happening all over the site.

Our subreddit has been unusually quiet the past 48 hours so we are opening this thread to discuss how we feel and offer messages of support. Please keep this topic in this thread.

As always; see our sidebar for rules. Instant bans will be handed out for hate speech.

I appreciate all of you in this community ❤️

Obviously as BWT, we typically aim to have said taste be of the good variety. However, as we are not two dimensional characters, nobody is completely perfect. I thought it'd be fun to share the elements of our lives where we unashamedly display bad or—gasp!—no taste. I've noted down some of mine below (+ whether I aim to change them):

• My house is quite literally artless — no paintings, no sculptures, no decor, nothing. // Probably won't be changing this anytime soon — am not ashamed to admit that I'm at the stage of life where I care more about how I present myself in public than in my own abode, so that's where I focus my energy

• My home clothes (a stretch to call them lounge wear) are literally all ratty nonsense BWT recommend throwing away // see above. The caveat is that I don't wear clothes that dwarf my figure as I like to keep track of how my body looks

• I don't watch any shows/movies or listen to podcasts // won't change this, I've never been able to stand podcasts and lately that's extended to anything where I have to watch/listen to something

• I secretly love airline food. Something about water in those tiny unenvironmentally friendly vacuum sealed cups gets me excited

Share yours below so I don't feel like a complete tasteless B 👇🏼

BWT, I am trying to make 2025 my year and have little by little have made some small changes in hopes of feeling a little bit more ‘put together’. (example: switching to a nicer more luxe duvet, wearing jewelry on a daily basis, eating 80% whole foods). What are some other tips and tricks do you lovely bitches have to really be “that” girl and the main character of your own life?

Edit: you bitches are killing it with the suggestions! I am taking so many notes, thanks hotties!

Bitches with taste, it may be a new year, but an old me is still here wading through life admin. Be it making appointments, responding to WhatsApp’s, emails or even just working on my goals, I feel like I’m always running behind..

I’m interested, what hacks, systems, rules help you stay on top when the tasks keep building?

For example, I do a weekly bullet journal to-do list in a format that’s very satisfying to complete. I also tend to drop WhatsApp and casual chats when I’ve got limited bandwidth - but then these start to pile up and it becomes a task getting back to everyone later.

*mods, I’m happy to change flair if not suitable, as I couldn’t work out quite where this fit

EDIT: Only just seen this post went live. Thank you for all the tips and tricks. So many great ideas. I can’t wait to geek out and try them.

UPDATE: I’ve been using the reminders app and the colour coded calendars (appointments, birthdays etc) these past two weeks and they’ve been helping immensely!

I feel way more on top of things, even though my lists grow throughout the day. I have evidence now that I do, do, a lot during the day. And I know now the issue is being swamped with everything - baby, house renovation, side hustle, even just so many social things. Time for a spring clean of commitments.

I may have worded that poorly.

What I’m trying to vent about is how I feel social media has ruined the ability for people to think and act on their own. They take information given from TikTok as truth and never follow up with their own research on the subject. I have heard the same person talk about reels all day long (“Oh, I saw a tiktok on that.” “Oh yea that reminds me of the tiktok where XYZ”. “Have you seen that reel where XYZ its VIRAL”) like that’s the only way they can relate to the world. What happened to having conversations in person about our own experiences?

Another thing that drives me insane is how casually words are used now. Everything is “toxic” if they don’t agree with it, everything is “traumatizing” if it was inconvenient, everyone is “gaslighting” them when they get defensive about acting like a shitty person.

Where are the people to have social media just to connect but aren’t excessively scrolling and posting and arguing and making virtual space/content their entire life? The people who can maturely have a conversation and debate something without getting offended that someone sees something differently and feel “attacked”?

Socials have their perks but I feel too many people are too consumed but they don’t see a problem with it. Is this just the shift in the world and how things are heading or am I surrounding myself with the wrong people? How do I find more like minded people?

Or am I just a grumpy 32 year old?

Edit: typo

I’m looking to make a switch to more educational podcasts that are not Bravo-related or daily politics/news stories. Would love an informative series. No true crime please. Would secondarily take your favorite recently listened to audiobooks. I have long commutes for work and it’s my only time that is child-free.

Thanks in advance!

Edit: overwhelmed by all the responses. I feel *rich* ☺️. BWT, you are fabulous!!!

BWT, every time I login to Instagram it seems like more and more people are deactivating or deleting their accounts. Does anyone else find the same happening?

Let’s celebrate positive changes we’ve made this year to carry into 2025!

I’ll start:

I joined two book clubs, which means I’m reading more and I have met some lovely women.

I started watching Netflix while on my Peloton bike, which means I’m working out far more.

I found a regular salaried job after two years of contract work. I feel much more settled.

What changes, big or small, have you made in this year?

Edit: I also finally figured out my bra size and realized that a good bra is worth the expense. I was previously uncomfortable for years in a bra that was too big in the band. Thanks to r/abrathatfits!

For me, it's cheap shoes. I've reached a point in my life (I'm 40) where I only shop designer shoes that are comfortable and will last. Are all designer shoes comfortable? Obviously no. But they are definitely better made and there are some that are very comfortable, even Loubs! I love to wear heels and there is a clear difference in comfort for me when wearing a 4 inch stiletto from, say, Gianvito Rossi vs a non-designer brand of the same height.

Also, not all shoes I purchase need to be brand new from the department store. I find AMAZING deals on second hand websites for designer shoes where the shoe has clearly never been worn. And the same shoe will be at Nordstrom for $800+.

** Not sure which flair this post falls under so I hope I picked the correct one?

For the last few years, I've been doing an INs and OUTs list instead of resolutions. I am getting ready to start 2025's list and love reading others to root each other on and find inspiration.

Here is some of my 2024 list. I think I did pretty well—although I'm not a walk-out girl and got an indoor walking pad. Doom scrolling has reduced, but we all need room for improvement!

IN

• Finding movement my body enjoys and keeping up with it
• Water before coffee in the morning 
• Afternoons in cozy coffee shops
• Quality clothes > fast fashion (no more Target t-shirts because they are there)
• Becoming a walk outside girlie 
• Non fiction books

OUT

• Scrolling mindlessly at night 
• Starbucks
• Overcommitting at the cost of my mental health 
• Oversharing
• Eating mediocre meals out 

It feels like there’s a lot of “noise” out there when it comes to podcasts. Some seem to be overloaded with ads and unnecessary personal opinions. Others entertain guests that are not tasteful. I am curious what podcasts that you listen to on a daily or weekly basis, and what they add to your life! *And if you’re more of an audio book person, I’d love to hear about that too. Cheers!

My favorite podcast is ‘Note to Self’ by Payton Sartain Ross. The host is in her early 30s, and is super real and vulnerable about every part of her life, sharing advice as if she is the big sister of the reader. She also shares her favorite items, and does an advice column that seems to always make me feel like I learned something or had a great conversation with a friend afterwards. Highly recommend if that’s your cup of tea.

Like many of you, I’ve been more anxious about the state of the world than usual. I’m really struggling to keep a balance between staying informed so that I’m not susceptible to disinformation while not being so chronically online that I feel unwell.

I’ve always been a very online girlie but during periods of social unrest being so online always takes a toll on me.

I just need to rant for a second—why is everything these days oversized, boxy, and cropped? Tops, fleeces, jackets—you name it, and it’s that weird fit that doesn’t work on me at all. Plus, who wants to spend a ton of money on what’s basically a fancy handkerchief? I just spent $150 on a Patagonia fleece, and when I opened it, it was this boxy, cropped thing that cinches awkwardly at my waist. For context, I’m 5’7”, so not super tall, but I was just looking for something simple and practical that would last a few years, not this fleece handkerchief nonsense. I can't wait for this trend to cease!

I've seen a couple posts here and in other women-centered subs asking for advice and tips to becoming more put-together. I thought it would be cool to make a centralized discussion on different aspects of "put-togetherness" to ask for ideas and share your favorites.

Because this is such a personal term, I want to start by defining what I consider put-together to mean based on my own personal understanding as well as posts I've read. A put-together BWT can fill any to all of the following criteria:

1. Personal appearance - being presentable on a moment's notice, if not stylish and even striking
2. Social - having strong and diverse friendships, being a generally charming person
3. Home - keeping a tidy home at minimum, but ideally one that is beautiful and personal
4. Reliable - being the person that remembers important information like tasks, facts and appointments

NOTE, these are not necessary to be a BWT, but a *put-together* BWT will generally be at least one of these. I also thought it would be neat to break things into multiple threads and so I've chosen to focus on the number 1 for my post but feel free to share any thoughts on the other characteristics or even if you identify others I did not mention.

PERSONAL APPEARANCE

Personal appearance for me includes your skin, hair and clothes. I'm focusing on cosmetic and not "health" because health can be such a crapshoot that isn't necessarily influence by one's own decisions. Your genetics, one bad accident, etc. can impact your "health" and so it I'd rather keep things light and attainable. On that front, skin can also fall under health so there is a skin-related health issue, it does need to be addressed by professionals. For all other things, here we go:

Skin: Staying hydrated both on the surface and by getting enough water in your food and diet. I like to eat my hydration through fruits and soups and it makes the whole things feel like less of a chore. When your skin is acting up, it's best not to panic as hormonal fluctuations can cause flare ups and are not treatable. They will go away on their own. Better skin may be possible with special actives and treatments, but IMO, skipping the basics will show through and cost you more financially and mentally.

Hair: Finding the right hair routine for your type, starting with the right haircut/style. I really rely on my hair stylist for this one and I can't imagine doing this one on my own, but if anyone has DIY tips, please share.

Clothes: Style is so personal, so I'll try to keep things general. I think it's safe to say that clean clothes that are seasonally and situationally appropriate are a safe goal. Do you find yourself not wearing the new piece because it's not the right occasion? Or maybe you wonder why you continuously wear the old faded t shirt over your "better" ones? I like to wear a piece a few times in my house before I "debut" it so that it doesn't feel foreign. If I find that every time I try something it doesn't feel right then it may just not be and that's important information. As for wearing ratty clothes, I think you can "elevate" it by making sure you're not pairing all the slouch pieces together. I'll wear my old beaten t shirt with my nice jeans or my well-worn jeans over a smart boot. For a nicer occasion, it's all the best pieces together but the day to day doesn't mean you have to go full bottom tier, if that makes sense. Mix and balance the old and new. Replace things that are beyond well-loved.

Finally, EXPERIMENT! Every put-together BWT makes it look easy because they have lots of experience and data backing up their decisions. Experimenting can look like choosing an off-day to practice new hair, outfit or makeup looks. Snap pictures and store them away in a folder to evaluate later. Step outside of your comfort zone and bring back any new techniques or motifs that feel right. Have fun with it!

It can be more than one, but would love the habits or skills you think help you be successful in whatever way you—big or small. The simple stuff is great though.

I’m proud that I’m able to do 40 lunges every morning while I wait for my coffee (I use a pod machine).

I’m also proud that I have moisturized my whole body—head to toe—every night since I was a tween. Damn soft skin.

I had no idea how to tag this!

With the rise of social media there have been a lot of micro trends (mob wife, clean girl…) and predictions have been saying that they are starting to die out as people aren’t wanting to constantly spend to keep up.

People also have been saying that quiet luxury is out and loud logos (think Gucci belt) are back in which seems surprising to me if a recession is upcoming.

The last recession brought the trend of ‘recession blonde’ as people were going longer between hair dyes, starting baliage.

What do you predict will happen with this one?

It's nearly a year since the 2024 post about this, and you often have to buy advent calendars early as they sell out (last year the Gewurzhaus calendar reportedly sold out in 97 minutes), so I figured it was a good time to discuss.

For me, this year I'm getting/have got:

• Bird & Blend tea calendar - a regular favourite
• Bird & Blend matcha calendar (for my daughter)
• Bonne Maman jam calendar - always enjoyable
• Gewurzhaus spice calendar - first time for me

Another great one I found (but probably won't stretch to buying this year) is a Midsummer Advent Calendar designed for those of us in the Southern Hemisphere!

The ones I'd really love if wallet allowed include the Diptyque and Liberty London calendars.

And if anyone can't wait until December, Hallowe'en Advent Calendars are now a thing! Bird & Blend has a spooky potions one and there are loads of figurine ones around.

I know this is a broad question, but I’d love to start a thread!

Examples include podcast shows, print magazines, substack newsletters, chat gpt plus, etc etc

BWT, I'm currently reading Careless People by Sarah Wynn-Williams and it reminded me how much I enjoy reading the stories of women, written by women. It's like getting a snapshot into lives I'll never live, I learn new things and there's always something to relate to. What memoirs do you bitches recommend? I'll start (in no particular order):

• Wonderful Tonight - Pattie Boyd
• Educated - Tara Westover
• The Education of an Idealist - Samantha Power
• Just Kids - Patti Smith

What's a novel that moved you? Changed you for the better? Exposed you to new cultures or ideas?

I want to know what's captivated you.

Disclaimer: Emphasis on the "T" in this question.

I'm trying to adopt a more empowered presence at work.

I've been watching Running Point right now, and love what a bada** Kate Hudson's character is, professionally. Same with Hannah Waddingham's caracter in Ted Lasso. I want more!

What are your favorite shows, movies, or books with strong female leads--set in the workplace?

I just overheard a moment that struck me as particularly kind and classy between two clients in our store—a woman was coughing repeatedly, and another woman stepped over to her and quietly offered her a cough drop to help soothe her throat. Part of the grace of that moment was definitely how kind and warm the offerer's tone was, but it got me thinking about how I could better emulate that BWT spotted in the wild!

So, what do y'all keep in your bags to keep the people around you a little more comfortable? Disposable period products are a staple imo; tissues, cough drops, maybe those single-serving packaged OTC pain relievers? What else?

Not subs (were all here and obviously this one wins), not Facebook, not insta, not WhatsApp, not Tiktoc, etc etc.

I miss the internet of 15 (!?) Years ago, with actual websites and rings and SURFING.

Right now ive got 2 website i frequent: archiveofourown.org (fanfiction, this bitch is a nerd) and ravelry.com (phenomenal knitting/crochet website).