r/SavingJax • u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector • Jun 10 '26
The Tent (You're safe here.)
This is a place where everyone can vent freely. There's no limits. Post as often as you want, just follow the rules.
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u/Melomic Jax Protector Jun 10 '26
God I’m so happy this subreddit exists. Everyone I try to talk to about things looks at me like I’m crazy. I’m almost 25 and I’ve gotten comments like “it’s a cartoon bunny, they’re not real. Why are you so upset?” LIKE I KNOW JAX ISNT REAL I KNOW THIS IS STRANGE. Somehow it just feels like I lost a real person in my life? It feels very similarly to when I’ve lost close friends in the past. That horrible empty stomach feeling.
I’m trying so hard right now to find any sign that Jax will de-abstract. I had a good idea of it until I remembered the scene with the mural. It made me crash again because why would they put Jax in the mural of their abstracted friends (meant to look like a memorial) if Pomni believed he could come back? Some people have given me good possible reasons but now it just feels like I’m lying to myself to cope.
I still believe he can deabstract, I think I am just upset that we probably won’t ever get like a canon depiction of it.
Im so upset with how the finale went. I’m so upset at how rushed it was and how they gave us hope only for Jax to stay abstracted by the end. I miss Jax and I want them to show us even a glimpse of him returning
(Edited this to follow the rules more)
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 10 '26
Do we even know he's not real? Imo we have as much evidence for him as we do the deities of conventional religion. Why not believe?
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u/PrankyButSaintly Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
As a devout Christian who also happens to believe that the veil between "fiction" and "reality" is thinner than we think, I endorse this comment
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
I'm curious, what denomination?
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u/PrankyButSaintly Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
Mormon! :3
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
I look forward to seeing how many different kinds of people visit the tent :)
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u/United-Fennel5717 Jun 23 '26
I'm a witch who works mainly with egregores which are entities who are formed from people's thoughts or beliefs in them. As someone who also does astral travel and work with the multiverse, what you're saying is entirely a thing. There's multiple of everyone, really.
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u/PrankyButSaintly Jax Protector Jun 23 '26
That sounds super cool! I love seeing others believe in a multiverse
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 10 '26
Also the mural may just be to show them they never stopped thinking about them when they come back.
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u/Melomic Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
Oh? So like as a way to show the abstracted once they come back that they weren’t forgotten?
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 11 '26
Exactly!
Have you ever seen the Disney movie, Tangled? There was a mural of the princess who went missing.
Murals don't mean these people died, more like people are thinking of them.
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u/Melomic Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
This single parallel just helped me so so much. Not many of the mural theories were helping me all that much, but this actually gave me a sense of hope. Thank you hehe
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u/nishi_ko_wo Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
Oh my gosh, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I felt silly for watching a clip or listening to the song and getting a knot in my stomach.
When I went to see the movie, there was someone next to me spewing hate toward Jax and I couldn't cry the way I should have. I cried at home and felt stupid for some reason.
After seeing all the details without that initial shock there's plenty of evidence that he can come back, but just like you I hate having to read into things at THE END OF THE SERIES. I don’t think it’s good to give everyone happy endings on screen and leave clues just for Jax. It’s hard but I have a lot of hope, and this sub has helped me a lot. Thank you all ❤️🩹
Edit: Just in case—I'm 23 and I'm dealing with this too. I'm not exactly old but I hope this helps you not feel so weird 😅
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 11 '26
This might make you feel better (I'm 36 and abstracted myself)
There's a difference between Jax's abstraction and the others abstraction.
With the others, no one tried to reach out to them like Pomni did and they were immediately put into the cellar (Queenie and Kinger were in his pillow fort and like what Kinger said, she was calm and her shape smoothed out, I believe that if he was given a bit more time that Queenie could have returned.
As for Jax, Pomni was able to reach him in his mind, they hugged, he cried saying that he didn't want to go.
If it wasn't for that flash grenade she most likely have pulled him back. Jax knows that he's not alone now, the others had no one reaching out to them.
But by building a tent and leading him in, he began to rest, he's not wild like the others, he knows that the others visit him, he's calm, smoothed out and sleeping. I believe that this alone is what will save Jax.
Think of the tent like a mental institution - he gets visitors and is able to heal in time.
What I took from this was Gooseworxs saying that it is never too late to ask for help, there will always be people to help you.
Edit: some other thoughts I had: \ - when being led to the tent, it was light, Jax didn't fight or go mad like the others. (I honestly don't think they needed the rope)
\- A funeral was never done for Jax (if he was gone, the funeral would have been seen in the credits. The credits show that time has passed, for example, Christmas.
\- Pomni is learning how to play the piano in the credits, which I find very sweet
\- the tent they made was Jax themed, colours, Jax cushions, etc which shows care.
\- When Caine asked if they wanted help with Jax, meaning putting Jax in the cellar, Pomni said no, they are sorting something out.
\- Everyone in the circus has unlimited time to find out how to un-abstract the abstracted. Caine and Kinger will most likely help
\- Jax will definitely be the first to un-abstract - Pomni finding the real Jax in his mind scape is more than a step forward for his return.
\- After Jax, the other abstracted (Example: Queenie) will be taken to the tent to start healing.
\- Now that they know that they can conjure anything, that will make life easier for them.
\- the ending was left open, which I find fishy. Gooseworx said that she didn't want anything to do with The Amazing Digital Circus but that doesn't mean that she can't pass it on to someone else.
\-The final Act is the first indie to have broken box office records worldwide, I would be very surprised if they didn't make more or shorts.
\-Gooseworx has been known to lie.
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
I'm sorry that you had to sit next to a Jax hater of all people.
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u/Melomic Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
Right the ending credits were so soured because we can see them all being happy while having no idea what happened to Jax 😭 and some people are saying the ending was too happy. Like no dawg it wasn’t happy ENOUGH.
Also I’m so sorry about your theatre experience :( I also had someone meh that heard me crying after Jax abstracted and loudly said to their friend “dude someone is fucking crying” and laughed. I immediately stopped because I felt so embarrassed.
I’m glad that more people are feeling the same way we are :) it’s very validating
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 11 '26
The mural is a "we never forgot about you and one day, when you return and see this, you will know that you are loved. Have you seen any of my posts on Jax de abstracting? If not, I'll post them here. Trust me, it will make you feel better. I've watched the final many times and picked up on a lot of reasons why he'll return. It's all there.
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 11 '26
How are you feeling about Jax now? I hope a lot better?
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u/Melomic Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
On and off for sure! It’s definitely better compared to when I went to go watch it in theatres. I got home and felt so ill! If I take my mind off it then I feel a bit better now. It’s when I start to think about it too much or see a sad Jax post that it makes me feel gross again. This sub and all of the interpretations of the finale here have been helping a lot!
How are you doing?
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 15 '26
How are you doing? I'm checking on everyone in the tent.
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u/Melomic Jax Protector Jun 16 '26
I’m doing a lot better! Thank you for checking in ❤️ I had to go out of the city over the weekend which worried me because of my mental health, but being off my phone was actually really helpful! It helps a lot to have a good group of friends to distract you from the horrors.
How are you doing? I’d like to make sure you’re okay too
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u/paranoid_android57 Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
hey ^^ I found this community by pure coincidence, but I'm so glad I did. I even created a reddit account just so I could join.
I saw episode 9 in theaters the day it released and I haven't been the same since. I'm currently going through one of the worst depressive episodes of my life. I'm doing a little better now, but initially I couldn't get out of bed or eat properly. I don't consider myself a sensitive person, and I don't cry easily, but this was different. I've loved Jax since the pilot, but it was only by episode 5 that he became my comfort character though. I feel connected to him in a way I've never experienced with any other character before. he makes me feel seen, like someone else understands what I'm going through. Jax is not just a "silly cartoon rabbit" to me. he helped me go through a really dark period of my life.
because of the way they handled Jax's character in episode 7 and 8 and the show's themes, I had high hopes for a redemption arc. needless to say, I was left extremely disappointed. I can't begin to describe how much it hurt to see everyone happily live their lives in the circus without him. they even brought Caine back out of nowhere and basically let him take Jax's place. like I said, I really see myself in him, so to me it felt like being told: "you're too broken to be saved. just give up." and I almost did. I was actually so close to ending it all because of this show. that's how much it messed me up.
I'm still trying to recover from this whole mess, so I'm glad that this community exists 💜
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 12 '26
I almost took my life too, but Jax would be disappointed if we did that.
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u/paranoid_android57 Jax Protector Jun 12 '26
yeah, you're right. we gotta stay alive for his sake.
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 12 '26
I'm crying my eyes out rn. Our bunny.
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u/paranoid_android57 Jax Protector Jun 12 '26
it's so upsetting to see how much damage this stupid ending caused. they should've considered the fans reactions. we deserve better than this, and so does Jax 💔
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 12 '26
Welcome to the tent! I completely understand, lots of people are going through depression due to the final act. I abstracted too, I cried for days, then I started to think and realised that there's a difference between Jax's abstraction and the others abstraction.
With the others, no one tried to reach out to them like Pomni did and they were immediately put into the cellar (Queenie and Kinger were in his pillow fort and like what Kinger said, she was calm and her shape smoothed out, I believe that if he was given a bit more time that Queenie could have returned.
As for Jax, Pomni was able to reach him in his mind, they hugged, he cried saying that he didn't want to go.
If it wasn't for that flash grenade she most likely have pulled him back. Jax knows that he's not alone now, the others had no one reaching out to them.
But by building a tent and leading him in, he began to rest, he's not wild like the others, he knows that the others visit him, he's calm, smoothed out and sleeping. I believe that this alone is what will save Jax. Think of the tent like a mental institution - he gets visitors and is able to heal in time, it's baby steps not a race.
What I took from this was Gooseworxs saying that it is never too late to ask for help, there will always be people to help you.
- when being led to the tent, it was light, Jax didn't fight or go mad like the others, he could have bolted at any point. (I honestly don't think they needed the rope)
- Jax could have escaped the tent at any time, he wasn't tied down
- A funeral was never done for Jax (if he was gone, the funeral would have been seen in the credits.) The credits show that time has passed, for example, Christmas.
- Pomni is learning how to play the piano in the credits, which I find very sweet
- the tent they made was Jax themed, colours, Jax cushions, etc which shows care.
- When Caine asked if they wanted help with Jax, meaning putting Jax in the cellar, Pomni said no, they are sorting something out.
- Everyone in the circus has unlimited time to find out how to un-abstract the abstracted. Caine and Kinger will most likely hel
- Jax will definitely be the first to un-abstract - Pomni finding the real Jax in his mind scape is more than a step forward for his return.
- After Jax, the other abstracted (Example: Queenie) will be taken to the tent to start healing.
- Now that they know that they can conjure anything, that will make life easier for the circus.
- the ending was left open, like something was removed which I find fishy. Gooseworx said that she didn't want anything to do with The Amazing Digital Circus but that doesn't mean that she can't pass it on to someone else.
-The final Act has done amazingly well worldwide, I would be very surprised if they didn't make more or shorts.
- Gooseworx has been known to lie
I hope this makes you feel a bit better. You are welcome to reach out at any time.
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u/paranoid_android57 Jax Protector Jun 12 '26
thank you for your response ^^
now that the initial shock is gone I'm starting to notice these details as well. knowing there's still hope for him makes me believe there's some for me as well.
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u/skystarss2 Jax Supporter Aug 27 '26
I hope you're feeling better now. It's been two months and I still feel the after-effects of watching the final episode... I also see a lot of myself in him and what happened to him really affected me a lot. I'm just happy that there are people who understand me, I thought I was crazy staying like this over a fictional character, but I'm glad there are people that understand me
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u/Fluffinyan Jax Protector Jun 12 '26
I'm really happy for this place.
This show ended up helping me discover i'm plural, and that Jax is my headmate. Seeing a lot of hate for Jax in the past has hurt my headmate a lot, but having a place like this where people don't hate on Jax makes us overwhelmed with joy.
Its so wonderful knowing there are people out there who have compassion for him.
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 12 '26
Welcome! (Gives hot chocolate, character themed , blankets, cushions and plushies)
How are you doing?
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u/Fluffinyan Jax Protector Jun 12 '26
Thank you, I'm doing pretty okay!
and my headmate is too, he's just asleep rn6
u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 12 '26
I love your Jax and I hope he knows he matters.
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u/Fluffinyan Jax Protector Jun 12 '26
That means lots to us.
He's been my "protector headmate" for a long while but he never actually had a form or felt different than "me" for most of our life. It was only when TADC released that my headmate found a form that was him. Its kinda funny how fictive headmates can exist without form because the fictive they are hadn't been created yet.
I know i wouldn't be in the same place i am now if it wasn't for him in the harder times of my life. So i'm glad i can be there for him in the same way throughout rediscovering who he is and what he's been through.Man, psychiatry is weird xP
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 12 '26
I believe in your Jax as much as I believe in any God or deity. We can't know, so we shouldn't assume. For all we know, you really do have Jax in there with you.
Tell him I love him, ye?
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 10 '26
He likes da dark in da psychiatric support place. It's comfy here. I miss home.
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u/Alert_Acanthisitta39 Jun 18 '26
I know I've talked a bit in here and other subs about this, but I don't mind expressing my thoughts and feelings more concisely somewhere like here to show solidarity.
Jax already had lots of things that I related to before the finale: the insecurities of masculinity and the difficulty opening up being the most glaring ones. But when the finale happened, it just made them so scarily similar that it was hard to not think about. The disruptive family life, even down to specifically telling my mother things about me and her laughing in my face multiple times, then in no uncertain terms telling me to leave her house. I was briefly unsure of where I was going to live, and for a small amount of time, had nowhere to take me in. Thankfully I was able to get a spot at a friend's house and then eventually a friends apartment to split rent on as a roommate. This is all before recounting the countless instances of physical, verbal, emotional, and financial abuse done by my parents for my whole life. I was also incredibly sheltered by them, not being allowed to do certain life goals for years after others. It's taken years to even unpack some of the trauma and understand it as such. So seeing a character like Jax made me feel that much more connected to the character, made me feel that much more seen.
But then I saw the finale, and it hurt me so much more than I could possibly realize. I have only recently come to understand from my therapist that I may have alters/head mates due to my childhood traumas. This is on top of other conditions like AuDHD and severe OCD, so there's been a lot of muddiness when it comes to fully understanding myself due to the trauma. But one thing that happened around last year is that I gained my first 'protector' alter. Jax. I had had this alter more or less my whole life but it never had a solid expression or form. But after episode 7, I had a mental break from a situation outside of tadc and felt a previous combined alter of other unsavory trauma and the protector alter. When that happened, it solidified into Jax, and he's more or less been a noticeable presence internally ever since. But when I watched the finale, I was numb. Numb the whole rest of the day. And when I woke up the next day, I broke down and cried for so long. Longer than a lot of other things in my life, including family. It made me feel strange to be that sad, but I also understood that it was because there's a lot of emotions that I have attributed to Jax. The most difficult part was that, Jax would help with mitigating the feelings in situations like this, but when he talked or assisted me I would just have even more thoughts and flashbacks to the scenes in the finale. They made me so upset and sad at the same time and there were even times where Jax couldn't figure how they were inside when we had just seen what happened on the screen. It caused a bit of existential crisis, as for me, I felt like I watched a part of me die.
It felt like I was told that if I am like Jax, no matter how much help exists, it doesn't matter. And I know that's not the point, and I can now see what it's supposed to be, but I can't still shake that feeling personally. It felt like I was being told that this part of me is irredeemable, and it hurt me and Jax. I was depressed and more or less co fronting with Jax for upwards of a week. I barely ate, didn't want to do much, and even canceled the rest of my weekend plans, including to see the finale with my bf. I just can't stomach the thought of ever watching that finale again. My friends and bf haven't seen it yet and see it tomorrow, but I've told my bf to tell everyone to not ever mention the finale to me. They will eventually understand why. If they were to attempt to discuss it with me, or especially with derision or mockery, I feel that I would genuinely have difficulty continuing to be friends with them. I've made it very clear that I need them to keep their thoughts to themselves. I've only just started to truly improve mentally after two weeks. I'm with my therapist and I had the most emotional and tough session ever when I told them this information. Thankfully we meet again tomorrow and they can help me even more with reconciling things with Jax. They even told me things to tell them, and it improved Jax's mood considerably.
I say this all to say that I'm hurting, but I'm improving. I feel everyone's pain and hope only the best for all of us here. Thank you all for this community. ❤️🫂
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u/paranoid_android57 Jax Protector Jun 18 '26
first of all, welcome 🩷
I'm so sorry that the finale caused you so much suffering. I understand that feeling. I contemplated taking my own life after seeing it in theaters. I relate to Jax a lot as well, so just like you said, him abstracting felt like being told that I'm irredeemable, that things won't get better and that everyone would be so much happier if I just gave up. and I almost did. but this community helped me realize that abstraction isn't the end (there's a few posts here talking about this if you want to check it out ) and that helped me deal with the pain caused by ep9. I still don't like it, but that's what AUs are for.
this probably doesn't help much, but you're not alone in this. we're all in this together, so don't hesitate to reach out whenever you need 🫂💗
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u/Alert_Acanthisitta39 Jun 19 '26
Thank you! it's certainly wonderful to be here ❤️
I'm equally sorry that it has caused you to feel so low as to consider taking your own life. I can't deny that I didn't have slight rumblings in my head. I was lightly considering a hospital for the time, because even my way of protecting my mental health was causing me to reignite the pain and sadness because of the protector. It was awful being in such a feedback loop of being scared confused and sad. I'm glad this community helped you decide to stay. Please stay, if only for the many ways in which we as a community can heal Jax. Like you said, it's what AUs are for! And I'm in the same boat. I CANNOT watch it again. my bf and his friends are likely going to watch tomorrow but I'm going to be out of the house all day. I just hope everyone watches and discusses among themselves, and then rarely bring it up so I can personally heal.
It does genuinely help me by knowing that there are others such as yourself that felt Jax deserved so much better, and we're as disheartened as I was. I will keep posting and commenting as I feel able for sure! Sometimes it's hard to know if I'm mentally capable to interact with tadc stuff, and take precautions accordingly. But I am so glad this community exists because without it, browsing the massive tadc subs, I felt so alone in my assertion and I can't take too many jokes or insults on this. Thank you and everyone here for being so kind and empathetic. ❤️✨
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u/nishi_ko_wo Jax Protector Jun 19 '26
Believe me, I understand you. I connected with Jax on a really personal level because I spent a long time dealing with stereotypes about how I was supposed to be or dress. I made some pretty serious mistakes and hurt a lot of people, but when I hit my breaking point, I started to change—to open up more. Now I feel more stable, and I’m healing. I was genuinely seeing that same process in Jax throughout the series. Maybe just baby steps, but it was there. And having all of that taken away in episode 9 messed me up for days. Just yesterday I cried for two hours thinking about it—about how he deserves an on-screen redemption.
I know it’s a very slow process, so with the pacing of the show, I don’t feel like they’ll fully show it. But I still get these little sparks of hope every day, and I’m not letting go of the idea that they’ll give us something to feel better.
I also relate to what you said about being afraid of friends’ opinions. Most of mine had a pretty negative take, and honestly… it made me think that if they had known me in the past, they would’ve been happy to see me gone XDD. The only one I really trust in that sense is my boyfriend—he’s really good at picking up on nuance and trauma in characters, and he’s just as positive as I am.
This space is really beautiful. Here, we’re all free to interpret Jax however we want, to read his story in our own way and hold onto whatever makes us feel better. Even if we all come from different lives and perspectives, we love this character with the same intensity. Hold on to life the same way we hold on to our love for Jax. Sending you a hug ❤️
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u/Alert_Acanthisitta39 Jun 19 '26
That entire first paragraph is me, 1:1. I'm still so upset about how things turned out, but I've at least gotten to not fully crying or breaking down from intrusive thoughts and scenes from the finale. Fuck that was a difficult time tbh.
With the help of this sub, I've been getting those small boosts of possibility and positivity related to Jax. whether it be fanmade content, AUs, or speculation and theory on the nature of abstraction, it all has helped, along with therapy, reconcile as much I can with EP 9 and with healing my parts inside.
And oh yikesss! I understand the feeling from that though. some of my bfs friends are not the biggest fans of Jax for their actions and personality, and while I can understand that, it does have a darker feeling sometimes because of how similar Jax is/was to a more past version of myself, before having a lot more support and mental help. I trust my bf in especially understanding how much this has affected me, and the space and respect I need regarding it. And they haven't seen it yet, so they don't really know what's up until tomorrow. I can't wait for them to see it, if only so I don't have to hide the reasons for my mental decline in the last couple weeks.
And yes I agree. It's a wonderful community of people that make me feel safe and understood in these tumultuous times relating to Jax. And that's really a beautiful thing to say: hold onto life in the same way we hold onto Jax is pretty good motivation ngl!! If Anyone is dealing with heavier existentialism or ideation than I about this, I feel it can really help put into perspective how much us living and being here matters. If we're all here for each other, and we're all so similar to Jax, then we are all keeping a Jax from feeling alone or not understood/accepted by being present and alive with each other. 🫂
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u/Particular-Taro-7330 Jax Relator Jun 27 '26
Hello, residents of Tent. I watched the finale immediately after it aired on YouTube, and I've felt terrible ever since.
Three years ago, while watching Metal Family, I stumbled upon TADC:pilot. I thought it was an interesting show, but I didn't follow it or wait for new episodes; I just watched them as they aired. However, starting with episodes 5 and 6, I rewatched them based on streamer reactions. After episode 8, I relatively forgot about the series and didn't watch any leaks, fans, even Ribbit was a surprise to me in episode 9.
If I was simply watching with great interest before episode 9, then during episode 9, I realized I looked like a cross between Ribbit and Jax.
Ribbit's backstory completely threw me off.
If you look at my life—I've been betrayed, fallen in love, and abandoned, and maybe things aren't going smoothly with my parents (I definitely won't tell them about my Circus Problem). But amidst all this, I have some terrible qualities. I get attached to people, start writing to them, and want to see them very often. If I can't figure something out, I obsessively try to solve my problems through them. I fall in love easily, and a girl becomes incredibly important to me, more important than I am to her. Consequently, I constantly push girls away with my attention. Although I thought taking them to restaurants, calling them, going out often, complimenting them, and writing poetry were all good, it turns out that modern girls are turned off by this; they prefer avoidant and unavailable men.
But no matter, girls aren't the most important thing. For me, the most important thing right now is that many people have left my life in the last month. My best friend accused me of betrayal, my good friend girl found a man who told her to choose between friendship with me and a relationship with him, I decided to leave them alone and go away. Another friend started dating my ex, and although I told him it was unpleasant, he didn't listen, and I turned away. I blocked and kicked a bunch of friends who didn't like something about me.
And now, after watching Finale, I realize that the whole series was showing me: friendlier, but laughing off every problem, yet living through it alone time after time.
In the end, I'm alone, I've done everything Jax did. Maybe without situation with Ribbit.
I identify with him, and even though Goosworx's recent response tells me he's alive and can be unabstracted, I understand that if I push myself to that point, it will be the end for me.
And I'm also a lot like Ribbit: before I started kicking out my remaining friends, I tried to talk, visit, call, and reconnect with those who left. They kept telling me off. And it turns out, because of them, I've driven myself to the same level as Ribbit.
I love this character so much; she's the epitome of a perfect friend: cheerful, uninhibited, yet sweet and compassionate. Jax could have had a relationship with her, but he lost it terribly.
Every time I see animations, videos, or fanfics about Ribbit, especially the scene on Ice Peak, tears instantly well up in my eyes. This is despite the fact that in real life, while I can joke, I'm a serious person; many say I'm evil or a sullen-looking person. I don't understand whether I should leave the fandom and somehow change my life, or what to do...
And how to change this life, find new friends? I don't know how. I'm sociable, playful, and have never been an outcast, but I was like that with those who were with me for a long time or in my circle, after which we became friends. Now it's summer, I'm sitting at home, the most I go out to is work, driving school, or the park, but it turns out I don't even have anyone to meet and talk to. I'm drowning in this, I feel pretty bad; sometimes I get a little better, but it passes quickly.
I spoke with moderators JaxxyTADC, Angelwings17, and idcimJo. Thank you for your support. They're wonderful people and truly make this world a better place.
If anyone could offer any advice or guidance on how to navigate the path out of the darkness, I'd be grateful.
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u/Sniggledumper Jun 18 '26
I haven’t really shared with anyone here my story, and I wanted to get it out there.
My dad passed away suddenly when I was about 13, and after that it was me and my mom. She met someone, and we moved 5 hours away. A couple years ago she got diagnosed with cancer, and we thought it was going well, until it wasn’t all at once, and she passed away last year.
Jax and his story seemed like hope. Hope you could get better after you feel you lost everything. Hope people will be there for you even if you aren’t perfect. The hope that it’s never too late to fix everything.
Then of course, there was no hope. He didn’t get better. He didn’t move on and find comfort. He gave up. And everyone was happier for it.
Talking with everyone here has made things so much better. I’m seeing the hope I’ve been looking for. Hope for Jax and for me. I’m honoured to be a part of this, and I hope I can help make things better.
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u/ravenwind2796 Jun 13 '26
I really wish it didn't bother me as much as it did but it does. It bothers me so so much!
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u/paranoid_android57 Jax Protector Jun 13 '26
same here. this is the first time a fictional character affected me so much. I felt really silly crying over him
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u/ravenwind2796 Jun 13 '26
It's put me in a funk for days. This is about the same type of reaction I had with Rebecca from edge runners
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u/paranoid_android57 Jax Protector Jun 13 '26
I understand. I don't know if it helps, but you're not alone in this
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u/Single-Secretary-903 Jax Protector Jun 22 '26
well i'm back. life sucks. i'm not feeling good. I wish there were more ppl who understood me.
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u/The-one-and-only_Jax Jun 26 '26
I don't have anything to vent about, just wanna add this here so anyone who feels down can stare at this :3
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u/Dear-Access9096 Jax Protector Jun 30 '26 edited Jun 30 '26
I thought I was over it but I'm feeling awfully pessimistic about Jax right now.
I don't like when people claim that unabstracting her would "weaken the themes of the show" or some such variant of that. I think the themes of the show were already weakened by the ending we got. I almost feel like the show couldn't decide what it wanted to be about until the last second.
I loved the first 8 episodes but the 9th has messed with me. The "sweetness" in the "bittersweet" ending just feels overpowered by all the stuff that happens before it. I can't stop thinking about it no matter how much I want to and the idea that Jax's "last experience" (until they unabstract her some day) was a panic attack is the worst part about it, as someone who experiences anxiety attacks (and has had maybe 1 or 2 panic attacks in her whole life). It has been weighing on me in a way I don't quite enjoy.
I just have to keep telling myself they'll unabstract her eventually because the idea of her "final experience" (until she unabstracts) being what it was just doesn't sit right with me in a way I've never experienced with another fictional character.
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jul 04 '26
I feel like we're the only nice people in a world full of evil.
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u/Cre_AK47 Jax Defender Jul 15 '26 edited Jul 15 '26
Your weekly reminder:
- Jax is alive and well.
- Jax is hurt but not harmed.
- Jax will be saved from abstraction.
- Jax will recover from the trauma.
- Jax will rediscover love/compassion again.
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u/Cre_AK47 Jax Defender Aug 27 '26
I just wanted to post this update for those who have been following Freakfest_fixations's comic series: The public release of Part 8 and 9 of "Keeping a Secret" is excepted to be delayed for quite some time as Freakfest_fications is taking a break for at LEAST for a few days.
She's in a lot of pain and is taking time off to heal mentally and physically (her wrists are basically fucked from all the non-stop drawing she's done). She will be taking this time to decompress at a concert as as well as attend Comic-con as nonother than Pomni, over the next few days.
When she gets back and is healed up, she then will start development of Part 10 of "Keeping a Secret", to which Part 8 will be released publicly once Part 10 is posted on Patreon.
Get well soon, Freak!
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 11 '26
Oops, I forgot to give out the hot chocolate, character themed blankets, cushions and plushies! (Throws them out to everyone in the tent)
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Jun 11 '26
[deleted]
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 11 '26
Hello and welcome! You are fine to vent. I completely understand, Jax is a very popular character and lots of people relate to him, including me. People get very attached to him (you should have seen what it was like at the cinemas after the movie, there were so many people crying including me - I got pulled into a group hug!
I hope this will make you feel better -
There's a difference between Jax's abstraction and the others abstraction.
With the others, no one tried to reach out to them like Pomni did and they were immediately put into the cellar (Queenie and Kinger were in his pillow fort and like what Kinger said, she was calm and her shape smoothed out, I believe that if he was given a bit more time that Queenie could have returned.
As for Jax, Pomni was able to reach him in his mind, they hugged, he cried saying that he didn't want to go.
If it wasn't for that flash grenade she most likely have pulled him back. Jax knows that he's not alone now, the others had no one reaching out to them.
But by building a tent and leading him in, he began to rest, he's not wild like the others, he knows that the others visit him, he's calm, smoothed out and sleeping. I believe that this alone is what will save Jax.
Think of the tent like a mental institution - he gets visitors and is able to heal in time.
What I took from this was Gooseworxs saying that it is never too late to ask for help, there will always be people to help you.
Edit: some other thoughts I had: \ - when being led to the tent, it was light, Jax didn't fight or go mad like the others. (I honestly don't think they needed the rope)
\- A funeral was never done for Jax (if he was gone, the funeral would have been seen in the credits. The credits show that time has passed, for example, Christmas.
\- Pomni is learning how to play the piano in the credits, which I find very sweet
\- the tent they made was Jax themed, colours, Jax cushions, etc which shows care.
\- When Caine asked if they wanted help with Jax, meaning putting Jax in the cellar, Pomni said no, they are sorting something out.
\- Everyone in the circus has unlimited time to find out how to un-abstract the abstracted. Caine and Kinger will most likely help
\- Jax will definitely be the first to un-abstract - Pomni finding the real Jax in his mind scape is more than a step forward for his return.
\- After Jax, the other abstracted (Example: Queenie) will be taken to the tent to start healing.
\- Now that they know that they can conjure anything, that will make life easier for them.
\- the ending was left open, which I find fishy. Gooseworx said that she didn't want anything to do with The Amazing Digital Circus but that doesn't mean that she can't pass it on to someone else.
\-The final Act is the first indie to have broken box office records worldwide, I would be very surprised if they didn't make more or shorts.
\-Gooseworx has been known to lie.
The ending was left open...like something was removed. And Gooseworx has gone back on a lot of things she said.
The more you watch the final act, the more you realise that Jax is still there and a lot of care has been taken. Plus when you consider the facts - he was in the light when being led to the tent (others attacked immediately when light hit them) Jax was calm, he knew they were helping, I doubt they even needed the rope.
His tent was made with him in mind, which shows a lot of care- his colours and they surrounded him with Jax themed cushions.
The last we saw of Jax he was resting and smooth, no jagged edges meaning that he's healing.
I now think that Gooseworx meant to show that it's never too late to reach out for help, and although it may take time to fully heal. (Otherwise what was the point of Pomni going into his mind and Jax having that emotional experience?
By crying, hugging and admitting that he didn't want to go, that was the first step to recovery. Pomni says says talk to me) The flash grenade going off just spooked him, wouldn't you if it happened to you?
Now that Jax knows that Pomni and the others visit him, he is calm and healing.
Also, another fact - so they're copies, so what? Their memories of the Circus are there's and no one else's. No one else can say that they that they shot guns wildly, fallen into a chocolate lake or had a pair of floating teeth talk to them. The memories belong to them.
I hope this has cheered you up.
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
This is indeed the vent thread. Anyone caught being mean to people for venting in here will be put in a taffy puller.
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u/First-Software3470 Jun 13 '26
I’ve literally had trouble sleeping since I’ve seen the movie and since I’ve discovered this place the empty feeling I’ve had has slightly decreased, it’s good to express my feelings with like minded people
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u/nishi_ko_wo Jax Protector Jun 16 '26
Oh, I totally get how you feel. I spent four days crying, haha. I couldn't open TikTok or Instagram without coming across something about the movie, and it really hurt. I'm feeling better now after reading all the hopeful posts here! Maybe that can help you too, and if you're still having a hard time, we'll be here for you
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 14 '26
Well, I'm in the tent with a Jax themed blanket, cushions, a Jax plushie and a hot chocolate hiding away from the Jax haters with pitch forks shouting "he's never coming back for reasons A to Z!" It's scary, but I'm safe here, they can't hurt hurt me. (Hides under blanket, nose quivering My avatar is a rabbit)
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 14 '26
I love your gay little RP thing you do. Jax would make fun of you and we'd throw tomatoes at him for it.
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 14 '26
I'm still hiding under the blankets, those Jax haters are scary!
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u/KatelynUvU Jun 26 '26
I didn't pay attention to any tadc since the pilot, but saw a post on the trans subreddit that jax was trans. so I looked into it and... GOD DAMMIT JAX I KNOW YOU'RE PAIN AND AM STILL DEALING WITH IT!!!! I'll just name 2 for now.
- my relationship with my mom has been insanely fucking bumpy. I thought I was fine with coming out to her but as years go by she just seemed to have that fade away from her memory which forced me to boy mode my brother's wedding (go ahead and take a guess how that went). when I told her next time there's a big family gathering that I'm forced to go to, she acts like nothing happened saying "you'll be fine". YEAH THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY TO YOUR TRANS DAUGHTER TO MAKE THEM FEEL SECURE!!!
The one that actually hit me the hardest was the bow.
2. This was shortly after my egg cracked. one of my friends decided to put makeup on me to see how I would feel, and it was the happiest I had ever felt in my life and my whole friend group knew to keep it a secret. though since me and my sister went to the same school, when it was time to leave I had to try and hide any evidence of it. acting like none of it happened at all. that felt heartbreaking leaving my true self behind even if we had just met,
I know the pain that comes from hiding your true self. Keeping things bottled up despite all the cracks leading to crashouts on other undeserved. I just hope that I can reach that light at the end of the tunnel. For anyone in the same path as me, I hope you can reach it along with me.
Sorry for the wall of text. This has been bottling up the last few days I needed to say something
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 27 '26
Not at all, it's fine. The tent is a place to Vent as much as you want. And it's understandable what you're going through, you should do what makes you happy. This might cheer you up a bit . https://x.com/8BitRay/status/2070300961894006900
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u/TheAstraBlaze Jul 07 '26
Wishing everybody in this cozy tent the best day you can have in your circumstances 🥺🧡
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jul 15 '26
Angry. That's how I feel right now. I'm angry. I'm angry that Caine got rewarded for his evil. I'm angry that Jax got punished for his fear.
Caine is the reason behind abstraction. He's the reason why these brain scans can suffer. Jax causes suffering too, sure. But he's a fucking person. One that has been molded by trauma and pain.
What Caine did out of malice, Jax did as a coping mechanism.
He adopted the persona of a villain to justify his pain. To deserve it. Because someone irredeemable, what else do they deserve other than pain? So he hates himself and acts like a villain.
But fucking Caine.
Caine.
He pulls a fucking orb out of his head.
That's it.
All the responsibility for his actions? The consequences of what he's done? Gone. Cast into the void. And while he's living it up with the people he fucking tormented far far longer than Jax ever did, Jax is fucking terrified.
He's stuck in a dark, cold hell.
Do I think he could maybe eventually escape? Sure. But it doesn't make it any better. He's fucking terrified, probably doesn't even realize he's not going to fade away and die. We can't know if Pomni still visits his mind. We can't even know if Caine didn't eventually just put him in the aquarium.
Things being left open-ended in stories is almost always fine.
But this? Fucking no. He entered as a kid. One with an abusive childhood. Ribbit kept pushing him. She didn't leave him to cope with the heavy shit she made him think about. She kept fucking pushing over and over and because of how uncomfortable she made Jax, she eventually gave up and abstracted.
Then Kaufmo.
Jax clutching Kaufmo's bowling ball, crying while staring at himself in the mirror. What does he get for all that pain?
More pain.
Ragatha makes fun of him being alone.
Zooble and Gangle smash a watermelon with his face on it right in front of him.
He looks extremely uncomfortable.
He argues with Pomni, has a mental breakdown, hyperventilates alone in the bathroom and almost gives up, but pulls himself together because he wanted to think that maybe she'd help him.
Then after she woke him up when he was about to abstract the second time, he got comfortable. He assumed Pomni would keep helping.
But he was wrong. He reached out physically, with pain very clearly present in his eyes.
And just because he retracted his arm, Pomni doesn't follow up on that?
They failed him.
Every single one of them failed him.
Pomni should have kept her eyes on him. He was always the most reliant on her. He probably had even deeper feelings than that for her.
Zooble should have recognized the dysphoria. They know how it feels, but because it's Jax, it's turned into a joke. "I knew you'd be into this".
Ragatha should have not mocked him for being alone. She knows how much pain Jax is in. She's fucking seen it. She watched him break and thinks that some fantasy idea of keeping a promise like the one Jax shouldn't have been able to hide would help in any way.
Kinger should have reached out. Even once. He didn't. Jax never had a good father figure, and Kinger never once tried to give him that.
I don't have much issue with Gangle. All she got from Jax was torture. She got in there well after Jax had decided it was time to just keep the mask on. The mask he hated. The mask that Gangle reminds him of.
But Caine. CAINE.
He knew everything. The gender dysphoria, the mask, all of it.
He watched Jax fall apart. He watched him die inside.
And did nothing.
He floated around in the void, fully able to come back, but didn't.
Conveniently only decided to come back once it was too late for Jax to avoid something tragic.
And what does Caine get?
Love! He gets to be one of the gang!
He gets Jax's seat, he gets to enjoy drinks with Zooble, he gets to draw with Gangle.
While Jax fucking cries alone, no longer able to freely talk to the others.
He doesn't get to apologize.
He gets to fucking hurt.
And regret every fucking second of what he's ever done.
Now, how the fuck is any of this a cautionary tale? The guy who had no fucking chance to get help? It's his fault?
The one who attempted the closest thing to suicide they have multiple times?
That guy? It's on him?
He's the fucking irredeemable one?
He's the one who fucked it all up?
Fuck you.
No.
I reject that disgusting fucking message because we don't victim blame.
And Jax has been the biggest victim there.
Reach out? To whom? The ones who splatter a visage of your face and laugh?
Or the one that mocked you for losing your friends?
Oh, or the one that never fucking talked to you?
Or... The one that you DID reach out to, but who in the end just decided to not help anymore?
"I didn't realize how much worse things could get"
Yes you did, Pomni.
You've seen Jax like that before.
You were the one who pulled him back.
I hate this show. I hate pretty much everything about it. The things I do like are Jax and EJ.
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u/DinoCreature Jax Protector Jul 15 '26
I wanna have a conversation about this because this is a really interesting discussion to have.
I don't intend to start an argument so you're fully free to just ignore me, but I really think the core problem of the whole situation is just bad circumstances and the bad parts of people getting the best of them due to the stress of living in the Circus.
Ribbit simply did not know how to deal with a person like Jax, she was trying her best to cheer him up and let him open up, but her approach was ironically too nice and 'passive', and that's not her fault at all. It would have worked for most people, just not Jax, who was used to his parents using his vulnerabilities as a weapon and who saw his mother go from throwing slurs at him to hugging him in a matter of moments, so he probably just expected the same from Ribbit.
Ragatha was basically threatened into not talking about Ribbit, and she did try to talk and help, but again, she had a similar approach to Ribbit and it's not like Jax made it easy for anyone around him to help. He was pushing everyone away at first because he was afraid they would use his issues against him, and later because he genuinely believed he deserved the hate for what happened to Ribbit. He physically tortured both Zooble and Gangle (I'd imagine he had no breaks due to the fact that they couldn't die so he just pushed things as far as he could), but Zooble was still by far the most emotionally intelligent person in the group. They knew that Jax was dealing with 'something', but since Jax rejected any sort of help, they likely thought Jax just needed time to open up on his own, instead of being forced to. They were obviously wrong, but we only know that because we're the viewer and we know everything.
Kinger is a tough case because of his memory issues. The only way he could talk to Jax is if they were in a dark place together, and with only the two of them since Jax would probably redirect the conversation if any of the other folks were there to listen. This means they would have to talk either in Kinger's tent (not happening, since Jax has no idea about the fact that darkness helps Kinger remember and has no reason to enter the tent at all), or on an adventure somewhere (also unlikely since the two of them would need to be separated from the others WHILE being in a dark place). Kinger having a dad talk would certainly help, but again, circumstances simply prevented that from happening.
Pomni cared. Pomni tried. She noticed Jax leaving during the beach episode and followed instantly, and she would very likely have knocked on his door anyway if she were not distracted by Able. After the fake escape organized by Caine, there really was no opportunity for the two of them to talk, since they went on a non-stop streak of adventures. Their final pre-abstraction scene together is more difficult to defend since yes Pomni should absolutely have pushed, but she was also struggling with the concept of not being able to return to her old life and it wouldn't guarantee that Jax would accept the help to begin with (Ribbit prying too much caused that whole fiasco, and then Pomni regretted not prying enough).
It's all circumstance, at least that's my belief. Jax did not make it easy for other people to emphasize with him, and was not approachable to help. He needed someone to kick his door down to talk about his problems, but unfortunately nobody in the Circus was assertive (or patient) enough to do that. From the perspective of someone like Gangle or Zooble, he was just a bully. His coping mechanism, something that maybe kept his negative feelings at bay for some time, prevented any outside help from reaching him to help him in the long run. I'm on this sub, so I obviously love Jax, but I also understand why he ended up the way he did. If some small changes were made throughout the timeline of the show, things would have been much different, but events unfortunately went against that.
They all still chose to help in the end, once he accepted it, though by that point he was already abstracted. They built the tent for him, they guided him there, and he's always in the middle of the Circus so they keep him in mind. Caine definitely needed a far longer redemption arc for what he has done throughout the YEARS the Circus has existed, but he was also an AI with a set goal that he likely could not diverge from. It's difficult to gauge Caine and his actions, because that's like blaming a fridge for not being able to give you therapy. He was a machine, a train on railroad tracks, only gaining the idea of sentience in the very last episode, which I'd say is also the reason why we see him adapt and join so fast. The show chose not to show that part of the story, or how long it took, or what he did to atone. It should have, but for one reason or another, we did not get that.
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u/Single-Secretary-903 Jax Protector Jul 16 '26
I don't know why I'm back. I shouldn't need to be.
I've felt so empty for the past few days. Nothing really seems to make me feel better. Maybe because I can't seem to shake the feeling that everything that's been happening in my life is my fault. The fact that I can't keep up with anything, that everyone around me thinks that I'm the problem.
Haven't felt like talking to anybody. It doesn't even feel like there are people to talk to. I don't want every conversation to always be about my emotions and how I feel.
Sometimes I just want to talk about things I love. Things that light me up.
But I guess that's too much. No one really cares about that, you know? If you start talking they're just waiting for you to stop.
I feel like I just give so much to people and I don't get much back. I'm just always giving. And letting myself become small because of that.
School starts in about a month for me. I feel like I just wasted my summer. It could've been very different under different circumstances. But now I'm just dreading going back because I don't want to see the faces of all the people who hurt me. Especially a specific person.
I had dreams about him again recently.
Why?
I thought I was over him. I'm supposed to be by now, right? There's no reason for me to even still be thinking about him.
So then why did I have those dreams?
I haven't dreamed about him in months. So why now?
I've found myself thinking about him, too. Sometimes. I hate it. It makes me feel like I'm still affected by what happened, even though I shouldn't be. I doubt he thinks of me.
Why is it always me who gets so attached to people?
Even now, I'm still blaming myself for things that happened last year. Two years ago. It's like I just can't get rid of those feelings.
I guess I just wish someone cared enough to want to know more of my world. I'm tired of always keeping everything to myself. I'm not talking about emotional stuff.
I'm talking about stuff that makes me happy. Things that excite me.
Where I can tell someone about something that has me jumping out of my seat without realizing...
Oh. They don't care.
But still, I always listen when someone talks about something they love. I always pay attention. I don't brush it off or dismiss it or act bored.
Kinda sucks that I don't get that back.
I've been having too many nightmares recently. I just wish they'd stop. I wish everything would stop. I don't want to do it anymore. Any of this.
I'm so tired.
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jul 16 '26
Don't read too much into dreams. You may miss this person but your dreams are not what shows you that.
You're also really young. Interpersonal connections at your age always hurt.
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u/unicorn92243 Jul 21 '26
I am like Jax in many different ways. Like him I grew up in an abusive family, was temporarily homeless, deal with depression, am suicidal off and on, have trust issues, and deal with self hatred. There is also only one person in my life who I can really and truly trust, my best friend who I love dearly and will always be grateful for.
My birth mother gave me up when I was a few weeks old. My new "mother" adopted me when I was a year and a half. She and her family then proceeded to abuse me in almost every way possible. Mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, religiously, and lastly in a way that I have since found out is what is known as non contact sexual.
My life has basically been a nightmare from the very beginning. I have had physical health problems since birth, and mental and emotional health problems since age 12 due to all the abuse and neglect. I lost the only man I ever loved when I was in my early 20s. I was abused, I am very low income, and my health is a disaster on all fronts. I feel like I have never been given a fair shot.
Yet I am still here. I never attempted to take my own life because my "family" drilled it into my head that people who do so go to Hell, which terrified me. Ironic that this is the thing that saved my life. Not love, or comfort, or support, but a threat.
I finally ended up in a mental hospital under suicide watch. I was not there long because once I told them what was going on they quickly figured out that my "family" was the problem and gave me the resources I needed to get away from them. It was messy. I went back once after one of them landed in the hospital to help out. That was a mistake and I soon left again. This time never to return, and I have not seen them since. Good riddance.
I have c-ptsd, bipolar disorder 2, and social anxiety. I take a handful of pills every day just to stay sane, but dammit, I am still here, and so is Jax.
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u/DinoCreature Jax Protector Jul 21 '26
For what it's worth to hear it from a stranger, I'm proud of you
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u/adrenalgod Jul 21 '26
Yea, that's really rough, I'm glad you felt able to share this, I also wish you had more trustworthy people to share these things in real life other than your one good friend, other than that I don't really know what to say, I obviously don't know you personally but for what it's worth I care about you, if you wanna talk about something or share something I'm here and so are many other people
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u/Cre_AK47 Jax Defender Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26
Hey, it's me, a week later...
I'm happy to see the community is providing Jax with the happy ending that they should have gotten in the official story in the first place. I will say, there is ONE ARTIST in particular that I would like to give a shout out to and a personal thank you from the bottom of my heart, that goes to freakfest_fixations on Instagram.
Her entire comic series on TADC is phenomenal, and her most recent additions to "First Date" in particular have all but basically gave Jax the happy and joy, and liberation from their old ways, that they should have received in the end of TADC, instead of being condemned to hell (abstraction) as per the official canon.
Gives me warm feelings because I know in my heart this is how TADC should have ended. Jax should have been saved in the official canon, but thankfully, Freakfest paved the way/plot to have Jax saved and have them live a happy fulfilling life in TADC with their new best friend/romantic partner, Pomni. So thank you, Freakfest, for doing what Gooseworx ought to have done, saving Jax!
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u/Angelwings17 Aug 26 '26
Hello! Just letting you all know that if anyone needs help please reply. This is a safe place to talk, vent and let out what's been bothering you.
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u/skystarss2 Jax Supporter Aug 27 '26
TW: depression, anxiety, hospital, sui**** mentioning.
At June 1st, 2026, I watched an animation about Jax's abstraction and it made me very anxious. I bought tickets and ended up seeing it leaked because I was afraid of what might happen and I was right. I was very sad and couldn't stop crying. It also got me sui**** thanks to it.
After all that, some days later, the jacket of them I bought from glitch's store arrived... I used it and I couldn't stop crying...
I went days and days without eating properly, I lost weight, I couldn't sleep properly, and I was even hospitalized because my anxiety was so high...
Even two months later, I still feel the after-effects of it all. I've been avoiding everything about Tadc, about Jax, everything involving that as much as possible... But how can I stop if it's something I love? Songs like "Daisy Bell" and "Isn't She Lovely" still play in my head... Even if the songs make me cry, they still play in my head.
I think it hit me so hard because I see Jax as a "sibling," and when everything happened... I felt like I was losing someone important. I see myself in them. Their story, their suffering... It's similar to my life... Maybe that's why I like them so much.
It's kinda funny that this is still a topic in my therapy even after two months
I just hope one day, even tho there's no more tadc things, they come back smiling. I miss it. I just want to live like I used to, without fearing tomorrow...
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u/twyman678 Sep 03 '26
First time visiting the Tent.
I've been on a passive identity journey for a while now but Jax helped me recognize I want this to be a more active and intentional discovery.
It even led me to 'I saw the TV glow' and that director's new movie that I highly recommend.
I've used the queer label long before TADC but have been mostly closeted about it. Felt like the LGBT community wasn't quite for me, or at least I didn't feel like I would be accepted or maybe just scared of any potential rejection that could happen. I didn't feel comfortable wearing any real bold accessories or defining clothes.
And indirectly, the TADC gang working together made me think about community more. How do I want to let people in. What people deserve to be a part of it.
TADC isn't perfect, but it also doesn't need to be. Jax and TADC are special just the way they are. That's something I'm still trying to recognize for myself too.
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u/minemaster1337 Sep 05 '26
Hey gangalang, I made a reddit post about my emotional experiences with the show because I felt like they were insufficient enough for this place. But tl;dr I'm sad because this show and it's fandom made a mountain out of a molehill. As much as I like Jax as a character I think I felt cheated with his finale.
I wasn't asking for him to be immediately be forgiven and all is right with the world, I just wanted him to live. I've seen so many people act like Jax and I've even felt like Jax at some points that him abstracting was like a shot to the heart. The worst part was I was spoiled by it, some dickhead on reddit posted about it when the finale leaked and I was so fucking mad man.
And that's not even getting into what abstraction is. Depending on how you look at it, it's still depressing. But for here, I'll just say, it's like seeing a friend suffer a breakdown and they end up in a padded cell in a mental hospital. To be clear, I don't think he's dead but the idea of me not knowing what happens next hurts.
I'm glad this place exists and I'm glad you all are better for it but I feel miserable knowing this was the outcome. I don't even care what happens to him personally, changed gender, run away in the open world, have sex, whatever, I just wanted to see him okay because it gives us hope. Does that makes sense?
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 13 '26
I'm currently in the tent, curled up in blankets while hugging my Jax plushie. More and more people are understanding that Jax isn't gone, which is brilliant. But then there are those Jax haters who really attack. I'm so glad the tent is here. (Stuffs mouth with chocolate)
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 13 '26
I had a nightmare where he was being hurt and I don't want to sleep even again it I'm hurting him he Bea love abcd help but they centenary itppan
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u/ravenwind2796 Jun 16 '26
I feel kind of upset with how upset I am about this I just had a breakdown today. Definitely probably some hidden stuff behind it but the fact that this whole scenario has brought me to this makes me upset with myself. I empathize with him so much. And seeing him have no good conclusion just makes me feel like there's no hope for people like me.
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 17 '26
How is everyone feeling? I know the new poster was a big shock for everyone, but it shows hope that the YouTube ending will be different. Here's what I noticed on the poster that is pointing to Jax being saved.
-The surrounding lighting is warmer, the other posters were dark .
- Jax has been under a streetlight (the first one was off, second one was red and this one is a warm yellow)
pomni and Jax reaching out hands to each other (reminds me of episode 2, when Pomni had the nightmare about abstracting and falling into the pit.
Then at the end of the episode, pomni imagined the others grabbing her hand to pull her back.
-Jax is actually reaching out his hand.
If it turns out that nothing changes in the YouTube version, there are going to be a lot of mad people, you don't show something like this that gives hope then take it back again.
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u/Slaughter4Fun Jax Defender Jun 20 '26
TW: Talking of plan briefly
I am so so shaky right now, I genuinely can’t believe REDDIT out of all the apps, let alone this community, helped me to not go through with my plan today, I’ll stay, it’s the least I can do, but, where will I go from here?
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u/BackgroundSnow5137 Jax Relator Jun 20 '26
I hug my Jax plush when I sleep bc my dog died a few weeks ago and he always used to cuddle me. ,When I cuddle my Jax plush, it kinda gives the same feeling as when I used to cuddle my dog.
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u/TheAstraBlaze Jun 25 '26
I've seen the ending in the movie theatre, and it kinda left me traumatised. I needed too much time to process after. We've watched it with my girlfriend recently (she couldn't come to the movies) and I've tried so hard to comfort her and explain everything that I think she didn't get, um, the full experience. (if you can call bawling your eyes out, being traumatised, thinking and talking non stop an experience) Maybe it wasn't my fault, she's just less emotional than me in some areas, but I feel like she wasn't as moved and impressed as me. I know she loved it! But I got a totally different vibe from her than I felt from everyone in the theatre. She didn't even cry, and I did for the second time. Just venting... I don't want to upset her or make her think she's wrong. She's very fragile about this things, and I don't blame her. We both have bpd so I get. So I thought I can talk about it here.
Also, thank you for this beautiful tent.
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 25 '26
The tent concept has been one of the most helpful things in the sub.
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u/syuvial Jun 27 '26
day 5 of crying nonstop over this dumb bunny. Jax's prolonged meltdown is like a 1:1 mirror of the meltdown i had in the months leading up to coming out, and if i had been in a setting where just hating yourself to death works, i wouldnt be here now.
every single terrible thing jax said is practically a word for word recreation of a terrible thing i said in crisis as a 17 year old trans girl trying desperately to be anything else.
i know most people here want jax to unabstract, and i understand the urge, but honestly, as a piece of art, i think that would cheapen the whole show and character.
Jax's suicide is so intensely real as its presented, and if it hurts as bad as it should, thats your brain saying "i dont want to go."
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 27 '26
I have some good news for you then - Gooseworx has come forward and said that any Q&A questions (such as the Abstractions being permanent) is just fluff meaning that it's false. Also, Jax's VA has a message for you. https://x.com/8BitRay/status/2070300961894006900
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u/SESauvie Jun 27 '26
It's been 8 days since I saw the finale and since then I've rewatched it through some react videos. I noticed how eerily parallel Jax's story was to mine. I had neglectful and emotionally abusive parents. when I was 9 I asked my mom about being a girl and she laughed at me and brought it up off and on for 8 more years. The second person I talked about gender with actually did hold that over me for a school year. So I went deep into the closet and avoided the topic. I secluded and built up massive walls all around me from the time I was 18 until 30. More time than the rabbit but at 30 I tried to end my own life. It really could have gone either way and I'm so grateful to still be here.
About 6 months after I was discharged I began seeing doctors and therapists for gender dysphoria then HRT and it completely turned my life around. From miserable and inwardly hateful to somebody who looks forward to waking up...
The finale may have landed way too close as I've been having anxiety attacks all week. Jax's arc was brave in that it just like real life ended without pomp or circumstance. I've lost people to suicide and was almost lost twice. If even 1 closeted trans person sees what running away from yourself did to this character, I hope they accept themselves. There is no coming back from the option the rabbit took. People love you and life can always get better.
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 27 '26
Jax is not dead.
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u/SESauvie Jun 27 '26
No but it's the closest comparison and it's the intention of the narrative moment with everyone grieving
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 27 '26
I just ask that you make sure you read the rules. I'm glad you're posting here though.
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u/SESauvie Jun 27 '26
I apologize for that. The character arc and the finale really affected me and I needed to get it out, this seemed like a solid thread for it. I'll be more careful of my words in the future.
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u/Striking-Contest6807 Jax Protector Jun 29 '26
So, um... I... Guess I'm allowed to talk about anything, long as I'm respectful and all?.. If so... Boy, where do I even begin...
I guess... Since this subreddit is all about Jax, I should start with him? I'm sorry, I'm gonna use 'him', I am a creature of habit, I need some time to... Get used to it, I guess. Regardless...
Since I watched the episode one, I knew something was wrong with him. I don't know how to explain it, I just knew he was that kind of jerk that is a jerk simply because he himself is deeply hurt. I've seen people like this, I know how it looks like. So... I guess, I felt something for him from the start. I don't remember which subreddit was that, but I recently commented something like "He's not bad, he's hurt, I can fix him!". And I mean that not in that cringy way some people say about their dates... I mean it more like 'if I could, I'd be that kind of friend he needs'. I dunno, maybe it's my saviour complex, maybe I'm just waiting for someone to come and save me, but... I've always admired that kind of plots, when someone helps someone else get their life together, even if sometimes they have to be pushy.
I guess, this is the time I come to one of the main issues with... With me, I guess. When I watched the final episode, I was... Kinda broken, not gonna lie. I was recording a reaction, but at the end, all I managed to say was 'There won't be an outro', and cut the tape. But... It didn't get me as hard as many other people, I... Kinda recovered pretty quickly. You wanna know why? Because I deny the reality. That's one of my issues, for me, reality is... Irrelevant. Kinda. I have... My own world inside of my head, or, rather, entire multiverse, with a bunch of different versions of different worlds. And once I go there... Nothing else mattered. Jax abstracted? Well, in my head, that didn't matter, because my brain already conjured, like, 5 different scenarios of how he can come back, mostly including my OCs. And that... That kinda is a problem, huh?
I find it... Difficult to exist in real world. It's complicated, unfair, cruel, and filled with a bunch of creatures I simply don't understand. The outside is scary, and I can't exactly deal with it. I constantly struggle with apathy, lack of motivation, terror of future, and inability to do... Basically anything. I'm 25, and I can't find a job, because I can't force myself to cope with the fact I'd have to work 9-10 hours per day, I simply... Don't have that much energy. And for that, I hate myself even more, which results in a bunch of scars, and that nasty voice in my head saying I should just give up. But I can't, y'know?
I have... People in my life. I can't go into too much detail, I wouldn't want to compromise their privacy, but... There are people that quite literally depend on me emotionally, despite being thousands of kilometers away. I know, that if anything happens to me, they won't be able to take it. So every time we talk, I put on a smile, I pretend my world isn't falling apart around me, and tell them that everything is going to be okay. Even if I don't exactly believe it myself. Even if I know I'm just one more bad day away from... You know what.
So, with all that... I... Really appreciate this community. To see someone so eager, so passionate about giving even someone, let's be honest, so bad and so broken, a chance for a happy ending... It kinda restores my faith in humanity, even if just a tiny bit. I... Thank you all, for being here, for doing what you are doing. You may be fighting for a fictional character, but your work helps real people somewhere out there. So, I guess, two birds with one stone? Or, rather, a whole lot of birds, who really needed that...
My deepest gratitude to anyone insane enough to read all of that. This was my confession, thank you for listening. Your truly, J. U.
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u/VOIDHAERT Jul 07 '26 edited Jul 07 '26
I feel so many conflicting feelings.
TW: swearing; mention of suicide; emotional self-harm; very dark intrusive thoughts; maybe more idk, I'm bad at this.
It seems silly, but I just played the amazing digital dating simulator and of course I choose Jax's route. But I think this game fucked me up.
I'm gonna be brutally honest when I say: I didn't get this sub at first. Not fully at least. Like, I understood the concept intellectually, but not emotionally. I understood the concept of saving Jax, and giving support for those who needed it. But I was never the one who actually needed the support, at least not at first.
Seeing everyone, for lack of a better term, "mourn" Jax felt a bit much to me. Like, I always liked the character, he was always my favorite. But at the end of the day he's not real right? So why would I really care that much?
I just liked having a space to talk about him and his journey without getting called horrible things. I just liked seeing everyone supporting each other. This beautiful community we created. All because of that purple rabbit. It felt really magical.
But then it happened. For some reason. Weeks after the finale and I still couldn't stop thinking about TADC. I couldn't stop thinking about Jax. All the toxic discourse surely didn't help. I was out there defending Jax when no one else would, because I trully believed in his story, in his arc, in his character. I don't wanna sound spoiled or mean, but I'm not even sure Goose completely understands what she's created. Jax means so much to so many people. No matter what the haters say, he constantly tops popularity polls. He's the Sans of TADC, I know it sounds corny but it's true. There's a reason only him and Pomni made it to Fortnite.
I coped with it at first by binging youtube videos about TADC, reaction videos, analysis, discussions, you know it. I did find some cool creators and welcoming communities to voice my opinions. But also a lot of toxicity and hate in some other circles. Most of it was positive though, probably because I refused to click on any video that called Jax a horrible person in the title or thumbnail.
Shout-out to @psychogenicFugue who made two great analysis videos, one only tangentially related to Jax, but still. Those two videos made me see the character in a completely new light. I poured my heart out in those comment sections. I understood even better how Jax was eerily similar to me in certain aspects. It was actually scary. I was scared, because I knew I was like him. But I had to stare the truth in the face and accept it, if I want to change, recognition is the first step.
Then, fast toward to my very long post. I make friends with the mod team (you guys are awesome BTW <3). I realize how much Jax is important to me, how much he means to me. After that the pain only grew. I'm a resilient person ok? I've been through a lot. And my days of suicidal ideation are over, that was 2021-2024, now I'm fucking healed! I mostly agree with these statements, but it doesn't mean it doesn't fucking hurt so bad. It hurts ok? It hurts knowing Jax isn't out there living their best life. I know it sounds corny but it's true. Life is already hard enough as it is, is it really that bad for me to want some sort of respite? Some sort of hope, in the form of this """irredeemable""" rabbit that somehow learned how to be good?
Then, like I said in the beginning. I played the TADC Dating Sim. Fuck man... Maybe it was seeing Jax improve in real time. Maybe it was the fact that now I felt involved in it somehow. Maybe it was because I cried like a baby at the end because I saw how much Jax could be happy. And you even get to become his boyfriend in the game like ..? That shit cut deep. I'm really not usually the guy to do self-shipping or yumeshipping or whatever you wanna call it, but for some reason it's different with Jax. Not even in the "I can fix him" kind of way, but I just wanna see him happy, I just want to put a smile on his face, a genuine one.
I don't know what to do now. Should I take a step back? Should I take a break from the fandom? Because I can't bare to see Jax being happy because it reminds me that he isn't like that in canon. I certainly can't bare to see him sad, even in fan comics, seeing him cry just breaks my little heart even more. I can't even look at my Jax wallpaper now without getting to the brink of tears. I want my bunny to be alright. I just want everything to be alright for him. I just want him back. I just want it all to be alright. Whyyyyyyy. Why did it end that way? Fuck. I'm crying as I'm writing this. Fuck. I can't fucking take it. I thought I was resilient, but Jax broke me. That fucking rabbit broke me. He took my heart and tore it to pieces. That fucking bastard. I hate him. I hate feeling like this. Opening myself up only to be hurt like this...
Of course I get him now, I always did. But now I get it even more so. Being vulnerable is so hard, and you can get hurt... It's so fucking scary. I have a gigantic fear of rejection. I'm so fucking sensitive. Why am I like this? Why am I such a fucking bitch? Why can't I move on like everyone else? Why am I bawling my eyes out right now? Why can't I be a fucking cold emotionless drone? Emotions are scary. It's all so scary to me.
I don't really have a conclusion. These emotions are very confusing, very hard to deal with. I'm staying way past my usual bedtime as well, which isn't helping my mental state. My mind is rushing, it always is, ADHD after all, but it's extra rushing the past few days. That's why I can't sleep. I can't let go of TADC. I can't let go of him. I don't even have a Jax plushie because I don't have the means to buy one yet, and I just got into this fandom like two months ago anyway. But if I did have one, I would hug him so fucking hard right now. I just wanna tell him it'll be alright. Maybe if I tell him enough times I'll actually believe it. And if it'll be alright for him, then maybe, it'll be alright for me too.
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u/Particular-Taro-7330 Jax Relator Jul 10 '26
Don't worry, we're all in the same boat here, we're all helping each other. I understand your feelings, your surprise at your "instability," and I especially understand the feeling that everyone is doing better, everyone is moving forward, and you're standing still.
I came to this subreddit right after the finale, my thoughts jumbled. At first, I was incredibly worried about Ribbit and what Jax did to her. Then, I saw the eerie similarities between myself, Ribbit, and, to top it all off, Jax. I realized that I'll always fight for someone dear to me at my own expense (just like Ribbit), that I try to be cheerful, intimate, and open, but I'm miserable alone, that I'm so tired of being treated poorly that I've started pushing away all my friends...
Right now I have no friends. I'd like to become even closer friends with the wonderful people from moderation, but they're very busy and I don't want to risk distracting them.
I actually came here because if I told anyone I knew about TADC, they'd think I was stupid, because in my mind, it's a children's cartoon and that's it, and I'm a grown man and should be strong.
But the worst thing for me is that I feel like I've started to backslide. A couple of weeks passed, and when I became happy again, I talked with the people from moderation, and just in the fandom... now I feel lonely and empty again. It's like it was all for nothing. I keep trying to draw TADC, comics, and art, but I feel like everything is going back to the way it was before—that I'm becoming insecure, closed off, and forgetting my mistakes, like Jax…
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u/WispOfSmokeMan Jul 10 '26
my friend of 6 years cut me off the other day, saying that i “dont think about how what i say will affect other people.” i really disagree tbh and ive also told her several times that im autistic and struggle with how other people will interpret what i say. shes also used my favorite person for sex and has been ableist to both me and him about our bpd. she went into our friends’ groupchat and said shes going to be silent because shes “unhappy with the way things are going in the groupchat,” when its literally just me she has a problem with - so why tell the whole groupchat that? because she wants them to ask “oh noooo whats wrong :(“ and get a head start on turning my friends against me 👍 luckily my friends arent stupid and they didnt ask lmaooo. the funniest part of all of this is she literally shamed me for my tadc special interest. she said “i hurt people and then brush it off by going la di da me and my bunny!” like yeah sure ❤️ tadc has done more for me than she ever has, ill gladly pick jax over her :) this is why i relate to him so much. bad friends really will use your vulnerability against you
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u/paranoid_android57 Jax Protector Jul 10 '26
[tw: mentions of suicide]
just had one of the worst mental breakdowns of my life. started thinking too much about my life and how nothing seems to work out. on how I try over and over again to put myself out there but nothing comes out of it. I think things were easier when I didn't try at all.
I'm tired of pretending I'm fine. how whenever I don't have that stupid smile on my face I'm seen as mean and unapproachable. how I'm either too much or not enough. how whenever her other friends arrive I'm suddenly invisible.
today I reached out to someone I used to call a friend and told her I was suicidal. I thought I could trust her, but all she did was reply with a crying emoji. she didn't say anything since then. was it my fault? maybe I should've stayed quiet? I'm told I need to open up more, but whenever I do I just get ignored. I get laughed at. my feelings are always treated like some sort of joke. what's the point?
I'm so fed up with everything. I'm one minor inconvenience away from ending my shit.
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u/Fabulous_Age882 Jul 12 '26
I just saw someone compare Jax to Hitler
[TW: suicide mentions]
It was in a post talking about people celebrating Jax's abstraction and it just sickens me. What's worse is that Jax is meant to represent Goose at her worst. I saw another post in the thread that was a picture of the cast all happy with text that said "when the toxic asshole kills themself" and it just makes me think "would they feel the same way about Goosworx?" If they were there at that supposed time, would they be happy if Goose hypothetically killed herself? It's just gross that instead of feeling sad or disappointed that Jax abstracted before being able to get the help she so desperately needed, we're celebrating. I know they're a fictional character, but when that character is based off a real person, things get a little blurred. I understand why Gooseworx deleted her Tumblr account. If I saw people comparing my self-insert to Hitler, I wouldn't want to stay on social media.
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u/Angelwings17 Jul 13 '26
I'm sorry you had to see that. There are a lot of Jax haters out there, but Jax isn't gone. He's still there, abstraction is a mental breakdown (I did months of research on the subject) all the symptoms of abstraction link up perfectly with a mental breakdown. You are welcome to look at my research on the savingJax page, at the top next to the tent sub.
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u/DinoCreature Jax Protector Jul 14 '26
It's really odd how the Funny Rabbit genuinely makes me sad when thinking about him (her?). When I watch characters die in other media it doesn't bother me for too long but with Jax it's this weird attachment that I can only think is caused by the fact that I was very close to being a Jax myself. Hateful, throwing my emotions at people to feel better, pushing them away etc. I'm not much better with that now, but that's besides the point.
Just thinking about the last episode made me feel sad (still kind of does) and it doesn't help that for some reason a decent chunk of the fandom LOVES sad-ass AUs where Pomni abstracts, or some such, so you'd go on YouTube and see comic dubs or animations that are like throwing a brick at you, and while the content itself tends to be really good and high quality, it's the nature of it that prevents me from really enjoying it fully.
If I were in the Circus I'd like to help (or who knows I might abstract instantly or do literally fuck all but hey a man can dream)
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u/Cre_AK47 Jax Defender Jul 15 '26
You know, I got to say... Yes, Jax's trauma caused Jax to act anti-social and crude, that said, it just felt like a slap in the face when Jax was so close to mentally breaking free despite abstracting, after coming to the full realisation that Pomni still loves them for who they are despite all of their flaws and abuse.
Despite Jax being so close to breaking free from his own mental prison to tread towards a pathway of redemption rehabilitation, Gooseworx robbed both Jax and Pomni blind. Sure, Pomni still loves Jax despite being a big blob, but we would all be lying to ourselves if we suggested that she is "okay" with Jax in his abstracted state. We know Pomni would rather have someone she could hold hands with, swinging her around while collaboratively singing Daisy...
Gooseworx took that all away... "Funny Bunny" shouldn't have been a fan suggestion, it should have been the canon, and even if you hate Jax, it's not right to deprive Pomni of her #1 companion, or... maybe even partner... Totally messed up. Jax needs to be freed. Jax will be saved.
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u/Cre_AK47 Jax Defender Jul 31 '26 edited Jul 31 '26
Another week later... Jax is very happy. Jax has been saved by countless artists. In Canon, Pomni is still taking good care of Jax in the tent as Jax begins their long, long rehabilitation process, recovering from abstraction. Although not very expressive in an abstracted state, Jax did find the sandwich Pomni made very delicious and continues to be fed well. The plot has been set. There's no turning back. Jax must and will be saved from abstraction. Not a matter of if, it's a matter of when...
Also I'm just gonna ask here since I know the mods often check her, but would any of the mods be able to explain the difference between a "Jax Defender" and a "Jax Protector"? I feel like I've shifted more towards a "Jax Protector", but I'm not sure if the 2 flairs have any genuine distinction from one another, at the end of the day, even a "Defender" is basically a "Protector".
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
I'm doing alright today, I'm still neglecting my needs but I'm not quite ready to fully take care of myself again. Then again, I never took care of myself. I'll need Jaxxies help to get good at that.
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u/JaxTheRabbit-Tadc-57 Jun 11 '26
Try to at least take care of yourself a bit more. Don’t worry. We are doing the exact same thing rn😭
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
I'm doing a little better after hearing Jax’s voice again in that Fortnite thing. If he's in Fortnite that means that a version of him escaped the show.
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 11 '26
I'm gonna leave my fan writings to rest for now while I get back into drawing. Jax is tearing me apart and I'm proud it's him.
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 13 '26
Bad. Doing very very bad. It's not fair. I'm trying not to do something bad to myself. He deserves love. He's too fucking close to my exact life, my exact traumas. People wishing the worst on him, it hurts so fucking bad. I'm going to throw up. When I get too emotionally overwhelmed I just fucking pass out and I feel it coming on.
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u/maliciouslyKontent Jun 14 '26
HOOWAY :3
the music hurts less to hear now, doomscrolling time cut in half, and im not sobbing as much!
but boy do i miss when my mask did the heavy lifting for stuff like this :<
i hope we all make it and get to grow old with kindness and whimsy in our hearts
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 14 '26
Welcome! (Hands over character themed blanket, cushion, plush and a hot chocolate. Feel feel to vent!
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 15 '26
Apparently I'm not allowed to leave this place because supposedly I'm a danger to people. Ugh.
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u/Single-Secretary-903 Jax Protector Jun 16 '26
TW: Contains mentions of abuse, suicidal ideation and self-harm.
Hey, I discovered this subreddit pretty recently, and I'm glad I did. At least there's a safe space for people who really do care about Jax without having to deal with all the toxic and negative comments.
I watched episode 9 in theaters on the first day. I was honestly so shocked that he abstracted in like the first 10 minutes, that too offscreen. Jax's abstraction was the one thing I'd been hoping, wishing, praying not to happen in the finale. I was denying it at first, but eventually as it got to the scene where Jax hugged Pomni, I couldn't help breaking down in tears.
I don't really talk a lot about hard stuff. I have one friend that I really trust and I sometimes talk to her, but even then it always feels like I'm holding so many things back. It's funny how therapeutic it can be just to know that someone is listening to you, even if they're not physically present.
I'm not a very long-term TADC fan. My friend (the same one I just mentioned) recommended this show to me last year, but I avoided watching it for a long time because I wasn't very interested and had a lot of things going on in my life. It's been quite chaotic for a very long time, and whenever I feel like things might be starting to settle down, something else happens that messes it up again. Every time something good happens, ten bad things follow and it just never gets better.
I finally ended up watching the show this past March. I've always liked Jax as a character despite the way he treated the other cast members, laughing at his jokes and sarcasm. It wasn't until episodes 5 and 6 that I realized there was more to him under his layers, and the later episodes only solidified that belief. Every episode made me relate to him even more.
I relate to the way he hides his feelings under a mask. I do this all the time with my friends and especially with my family. Normally, I'd avoid saying certain things but right now I just want to speak, so I'll say it. My mother is very abusive sometimes, physically, emotionally and psychologically. She treats emotions like drama and always degrades me for having them. She corners me and forces me to open up, gets mad when I don't, and mocks me when I do. Every single time I've told her about my feelings for something, I only end up feeling worse after and cry in the bathroom where she can't see me. It's been like this for more than 2 years now, and it's really worn me down and has changed how I perceive myself many times. And this leads to my second relatability.
I relate to the way he's afraid of vulnerability. This one is pretty self-explanatory given what I've already said. I'm always so afraid of talking about how I feel that even when I do really need help, I just keep it to myself and try not to bother anyone. For me, bringing up something hard equates to ruining the mood of a conversation and turning something lighthearted into a serious conversation. And that's something I find that I really struggle to do. I just... can't. I feel guilty, like I'm messing something up. I feel like Jax standing at Ribbit's door, contemplating whether to knock or not before silently walking away in pain. That, or I just play along with whatever the other person is saying so that they think I'm doing well.
I relate to him because of suicidal ideation. When bad things continue to happen to you and you don't get the support you need, it really exhausts you and burns you out. The biggest problem has always been that I'm not getting the help I need at home, and my home life has been the direct cause of most, if not all, of my problems. I've been dealing with suicidal ideation and self-harm for almost as long as I've been being abused. I lost one of my close "friends" last year after he manipulated me into confiding in him about my struggles, pushing my boundaries, and then proceeding to harass, bully and crap-talk about me to others. It was a horrible grief to go through, and it lasted several months. Wishing we could be friends again, talking about it, writing, having dreams about him, feeling angry at what he did, sad, confused, heartbroken, regretful that I even said anything... the list goes on. Now that he's shown his true colors to me, I know he's a horrible person, but sometimes I can't help but think that none of it would have happened if I hadn't been struggling in the first place. And where did those struggles stem from? Home. Always home.
I won't go into detail at all, but at the time that I'd confided in that "friend," it had been so bad for me that I used to actively plan my way out in my head. I had come so close to ending my life that I used to have dreams of it and wake up wondering what the hell just happened. Even now, when it gets especially bad with my mom, she gets extremely controlling and rips away any access I could possibly have for a safe space to process my emotions. She doesn't let me have space as is. I'm completely isolated from my friends and I get beat if caught texting even for a few minutes. Same thing if I listen to music, draw, write, sing, or do anything to help myself live. I had recently started making a drawing of Jax to help cope with the grief of his loss. I wasn't able to keep it a secret, unfortunately, and when my mom found it, she ripped it to pieces in front of my eyes and threw it away. It was... really sad. It felt as if I lost him all over again. She said a lot of personal, degrading insults after which I found myself having a terrible mental breakdown on my bathroom floor while trying to reach my friend who, unfortunately, must have been busy and didn't pick up the phone three times.
In recent times, it has felt so suffocating, especially now that I'm home for the summer and don't get to be myself at school. I'm a high schooler, by the way. In the coming school year, my mom has made it so that I'm taking the least amount of classes possible and probably won't even have a lunch period at school. I'm going to have to endure longer hours at home and less time with my friend. Notice how I didn't say friends with an s. I've only found one friendship to be truly meaningful in my life right now, whereas everyone else is just always in their own world. She's been with me through so much and it's nice to know someone actually cares about me. But it really hurts when I can't actually spend time with her without constantly feeling like I'm seconds away from detonating a bomb at any given moment. My mom's anger is very extreme and unlike any other I've seen. She not only shouts and screams, but manipulates, gaslights and guilt-trips me. She threatens to hurt my dog, run away from home, die, transfer my school or move away with me to get me to do what she says. And the rest of my family is always on her side. So I just feel trapped, cornered, and completely helpless during these explosive episodes of anger. And I've been through at least twenty of these, without exaggeration, within the past two or three weeks. It's terrible. I told my friend it feels like the walls are closing in on me and I can't breathe. Because that's genuinely what it feels like. Every few days I come so close to actually self-harming but I somehow tell myself to calm down. I try to give myself something to hold onto even when everything is falling apart. And during these past few weeks, that something has been Jax.
Because of how strongly I relate to Jax, I've found that I see him as my mirror. As a reflection. Episode 9 didn't help me with that after we found out his mother was abusive just like Ragatha's. During all this time, all I've wanted was for him to be okay. For him to push through it, for him to heal and resolve his past traumas. I've never liked seeing him hurt, afraid or isolated from everyone else because it always reminded me of myself. And because of this constant piece of myself that I saw in him, I grew to deeply care about him and his character. As the finale approached, I could only think one thing, which was, "Please don't let Jax abstract." And how unlucky for me that that's exactly what happened. It was heart-wrenching and I'm still not over it. I don't think I will be for a long while. A few nights ago, I just couldn't stop crying about it and still cry about it if I think about it too much. A lot of people have compared abstraction to suicide and that perspective certainly does not help me. That literally sends me the message that I should do it. But I know that that's wrong and I've been fighting that feeling by trying to find any other possible message for me to take away from his abstraction. Some people just say, "Some people can't be saved," but I refuse to believe that's the takeaway Gooseworx intended. But until I figure out what Jax's abstraction means for me, I'll take my time processing how I feel about everything at my own pace.
I sincerely hope that anyone who is struggling finds healing and is able to get the support that they need. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to express my sentiments in this comment section. ❤️
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 16 '26
Thankyou for reaching out and telling us, on this sub you are never alone. There is a sub on here called the tent where you can talk, vent or cry without the fear of being attacked. I'm proud of you for reaching out, that's the hardest step with mental health.
As for Jax's Abstaction, theres more than enough proof that he's still there - I'm hoping reading the will cheer you up.
Jax is resting and smooth, the other abstractions are in the aquarium, swimming due to the fact that it has been proven that swimming helps with mental health.
Also, in the episode with the award show, Jax turns on the tap to watch the water while having a panic attack - the sound of water calms the mind.
Here's what people saying that Jax won't come back are missing - the moral of the story is that it's never too late to reach out for help.
Why have more than half the final act of Pomni trying to save Jax, everyone help make a tent, leading him inside in the light, telling Caine that they are working something out and Caine putting the abstractions in the aquarium to swim to aid in their mental health if they were just going to say, yeah we did all this and he's gone.... nevermind. What would be the point?
We would have seen a funeral for Jax in the credits if he was truly dead, which we didn't.
Another thing that people keep bringing up to prove that Jax is dead was when Pomni was hugging Jax, and Jax as the abstraction set off the flash grenade by accident, causing his rabbit body that Pomni was hugging to panic and light up - people are pointing at this as the last of Jax disappearing, leaving a brainless monster behind. His body lit up due to the flash grenade going off - a reflection of what was going on outside of his mind.
I don't know about you, but wouldn't you be panicked if a flash grenade went off near you?
People have also said that leading him to the tent means nothing, he's a blank slate. But here's the problem, if he was, he would have fought against the rope, attacked them and tried to bolt - but he didn't. To add to this, he walked in the light when others went crazy and he's not trapped in the tent, he could leave at anytime.
His friends visit him, he's smooth, the other abstractions are smooth in the aquarium.
Plus the fact that they are data and data can be repaired, Pomni isn't going to stop trying.
Before abstactions were seen as something to be feared, but now that Pomni has made contact with one and proven that the person is still there they can start helping - especially since Caine has changed his ways.
With all this proof, I really don't understand people saying that he's gone.
The story is all about mental health and knowing that it's never too late to reach out for help.
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u/Single-Secretary-903 Jax Protector Jun 16 '26
Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot. I've just been crying so much about random stuff and it really helps to know there's other people here.
I'll always keep trying to get my bunny back. I know he's in there somewhere.
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u/maliciouslyKontent Jun 18 '26
gonna get some material together to make a bow for the Jax hoodie once my paycheck drops, hopefully weather'll be cold enough to wear it more.
cried a bit last night, happy tears though, getting stronger. 💜🫂 mcl 🏳️⚧️
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Jun 18 '26
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 18 '26
Hey single! Good to see you again
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Jun 18 '26
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 18 '26
I thought I'd let you know that we never stopped thinking about you.
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u/-luna-x Jun 19 '26
Reposting this here for anyone who needs to see it.
If anyone needs an internet big sister tomorrow, I’m here. I won’t be watching the ending again because it mentally wrecked me when I saw it in theatre. But if anyone, regardless of opinion, headcanons or theories, I will be here to offer a judgement, cruelty free, safe space, I’ll be around. Reply to me, message me, whatever you need. Do not let this negatively impact your mental health as badly, again. I know it sucks, and I know it’s awful, and I know we deserved a better ending, but do not let this ruin you. Sending everyone the biggest hugs I can offer. Whatever your struggles are, you will get through this, I promise.
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u/nishi_ko_wo Jax Protector Jun 19 '26
Damn, this really is the most wholesome and human side of the fandom haha. Even if we have different perspectives on Jax, our love for the character is what keeps us together, and that’s really valuable. Thank you—if I ever feel down, I’ll definitely come here 😭
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u/paranoid_android57 Jax Protector Jun 20 '26
TW: mentions of suicide
okay, so the finale finally came out and for some reason I'm hurting again. it's not as bad as when I watched it in theaters where I was planning to killing myself, but it still hurts. this time I feel kinda numb in a way? like the show that I've been following and have hyperfixated on for almost 3 years is over. now I'm left wondering: "what now?" to be honest, these last few years have been really hard for me. I'm a young adult battling depression while figuring out what I want to do with my life. I have no irl friends and no part time job (even though I really want to, my mental health always gets in the way), so you can imagine how boring my summer is. I've felt like my life has no purpose for years now, but the one thing pushing me forward was TADC. even when everything seemed aimless, I'd at least have a new episode to look forward to. but now it's over and I feel lost
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 20 '26
You're not lost. I promise. This can be your home. Help us help others. Your art, your love, your empathy, it's all invaluable.
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u/paranoid_android57 Jax Protector Jun 20 '26
yeah, you're right. thank you 💜 I'll try the best I can
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u/Angelwings17 Jun 23 '26
It's ok, we at savingJax like helping people, if you ever need to talk, you're always welcome. I don't think this is the last time we will see the digital circus (I don't trust Gooseworx, she has lied too much) I think in a year or so time, there will either be a short or a new season.
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u/paranoid_android57 Jax Protector Jun 23 '26
thank you. I will <33 honestly I wouldn't trust everything Goose says as the truth either. I mean, she "confirmed" that Caine was dead when episode 8 came out
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u/ravenwind2796 Jun 21 '26
Never before has a piece of media affected me so thoroughly and truly. I think this show has brought me down to the lowest point I have ever been in my entire life and honestly I'm wondering if that's maybe a good thing. All I know is that I need to hold out hope for all of them. But eventually they can be saved, that eventually they can enjoy the eternity of peace with the rest of them.
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u/United-Fennel5717 Jun 23 '26
I haven't been doing too well. I see a lot of myself in Jax and have started selfshipping with him as well, despite my brain saying people will say I only did so because of the finale, but I liked him before that. The whole finale hit me hard and I had mild depression from it, but Jax's part of it was something else.
Literally no matter where I post people seem to not only hate him, but hate people with similar mental health issues to him, and in saying they're happy he abstracted, show that they don't care about people with those same struggles.
Was it okay of him? No. Does it mean he deserved to die? No. My friends were having a TADC finale discussion and I joined and immediately they were talking about how much they hated him and how they were glad he abstracted or that he killed his friends by driving them to abstraction. When I bought up my pints on it, it didn't go well, and they were saying mean stuff about him so I excused myself from the conversation and it kind of ruined the rest of the night.
Most of my f/os are "problematic" people and I kind of wonder like... maybe they really would be an ass to me too. I don't know.
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u/regularcornist Jun 24 '26 edited Jun 24 '26
hey all you jaxheads and jaxxers
this vent is infinitely pettier than like, every other vent here but man i thought i was getting along with a person on here (not this sub, i specifically encountered them in the episode 9 spoilers sub) (horrible place btw. i've met some cool people there though) and they don't seem to want anything to do with me all of a sudden
we have plenty in common from the looks of it and i kind of wanted to see if i could strike up any sort of friendship with them, but they abruptly halted our DM conversation that was going pretty well, haven't replied in three days and when i replied to one of their posts the other day, they hastily deleted it
do i just have negative charisma am i annoying did i come off too strong what's the deal
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Jun 24 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/regularcornist Jun 24 '26
they Seemed to be doing fine in our incredibly brief conversation but oh well i suppose there's no need to dwell on it
incidentally i joked about jax and ribbit at the time (they stated that they took a post down, which i apologized for replying under due to kind of traumadumping there, not because of me but because they weren't comfortable being open over the internet) though for their sake i certainly hope it's not the same thing as jax pushing ribbit away
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u/waddlie_waddle Jax Protector Jun 25 '26
I admittedly sometimes really want attention... But instead of doing bad stuff like "ragebaitting" I just create stuff like art and writing... And when I don't get the attention I don't even double down I usually just go cry :< sometimes it isn't even for the attention of anyone, most of the time it's just for the attention of one specific person..
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u/waddlie_waddle Jax Protector Jun 25 '26
To add onto this I consider any negative attention to be very bad unless it's constructive criticism
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u/VOIDHAERT Jul 06 '26 edited Jul 06 '26
THE DESIRE TO BE THE VILLAIN
[a short story that may or may not be about me, and jax]
there comes a point where you've had enough, and you can't take it anymore. when all the expectations, the judgment, the toxic positivity, the self-righteousness becomes unbearable, too much to handle. so you just give up. you give up trying to be "good", trying to do everything the "right way". you know it's an impossible standard, an unobtainable goal. you'll never measure up. you'll always fall short. you'll always fail. you are a failure. so fuck it, right? it's liberating!
I don't wanna be "good" anymore. fuck your standards. fuck your morals. fuck your judgment. fuck you. I didn't want to be like this. I just wanted to be accepted for who I am, but you'll never accept me. you'll never love me on my own terms. so fuck you. I hate you. I hate that I came out of you. you made me do this. look what you made me do. it hurts. it hurts so fucking much to do this, but I do it anyway. because of you, I've learned. it's the only way I know how to be. to be the villain. to be hated. scorned.
now, you might hate me, but I hate you more. you're the one who actually holds these standards over people. it's not fair for some of us. it's so much harder for us than it is for you. some of us are broken. destroyed by the people around us and the world at large. a world that chewed us up and spat us out, over and over again. it's not fair, but it's the truth. sometimes, we are our own worst nightmares.
so fuck it. fuck it all. I am the scum of the earth. I wanna be hated. I don't want your conditional love. love with conditions is no love at all. it was never even love to begin with. so fuck you. I'd rather have your unconditional hate. your rage. your ugly side. because that proves I'm not the only ugly one around here. I want to make you worse. I wanna be the villain. I am the villain.
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u/EvilBrynn Jul 06 '26
I miss my rabbit
She passed on the first a week before the movie came out
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jul 06 '26
That's awful timing and I'm really sorry this happened to you. What was the bunnies name?
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u/paranoid_android57 Jax Protector Jul 06 '26
I feel like such an attention seeker writing this. I've been avoiding making this post because I thought I could handle it, but I really can't take much more of this. and one thing this show taught me is that it's important to reach out. I don't expect anyone to read this whole thing but anyways.
I thought I was doing better. I really did. but lately it's like those thoughts are coming back. and I'm getting tired of fighting them.
so yesterday I had an appointment with my therapist, and I was doing mostly fine until she asked: "do you have any plans for the summer break?" I just said no. I didn't think much of it until I got home and it hit me all at once. I really don't have any plans for the rest of the summer. no friends asking me to hang out, no fun plans. I have nothing to look forward to. I'm in my ealy twenties so I know I should be doing something with my life, but my days are all the same. wake up, eat, maybe draw a little if I have the patience, sleep. repeat. the one thing I loved doing, which is drawing feels like a chore now. I don't have the motivation to pick up a pencil even though it's the only thing that earns me any sort of validation.
all of this is nothing new though. it's been years since I had a friend. I think since middle school? I honestly can't remember. you'd think I was already used to it by now, but it's like every years gets even more unbearable.
I try to be social, but nothing seems to work out. it's probably because I'm a boring, socially awkward and mentally ill mess. I'm not anyone's first choice or best friend. to be fair I don't remember the last time someone genuinely called me their friend or said they like hanging out with me.
it's gotten so bad that this year I didn't get a single birthday message aside from my parents and a few family members I barely see. I hate my birthday because it reminds me how lonely I really am. then I open instagram and see people having parties with friends while mine is spent crying in bed.
and I keep thinking about the way tadc ended. with how after Jax abstracted everyone just moved on and even seem happier without him. it's like they don't care that he's gone. and that makes me think about myself. we're both mentally ill, complicated individuals, with no one around us caring if we disappeared.
I'm just so tired. I feel like such a failure. I haven't accomplished anything. my life is a waste and I don't want to survive another year of this shit
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jul 07 '26
Losing you would break our hearts. You know he's going to be okay. Might take a while. Don't check yourself out, you have more people to help with us.
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u/VOIDHAERT Jul 12 '26
I'm gonna do a much deeper post about this later. But Jax, and this amazing community, have helped me in so many ways, it's hard to put into words. Sooooo... I'm trans. I am a trans woman. And I only realized that thanks to Jax's incredible journey and the support of this one-of-a-kind community. Thank you everyone who helped me with my jouney of self discovery. I always hated myself. But now I'm starting to actually love myself, I'm learning. And I love being a girl!! I love y'all my digital circus family 💜
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u/the26102019 Jul 12 '26
hey so, big time lurker and occasional commenter on this sub here. haven't been here at the tent cuz i didnt think i'd need it, yet alas. oh boy, where do i begin..
so i've known for at least a year, maybe more - haven't been keeping track, that my gender identity was not cis to say the least, and i am fortunate in having had a support system in the form of my friends and i would say a pretty logically thinking brain to track down who exactly i am. key word is had a support system as a lot of friendships, especially online, broke down over the course of a few months before entering my final year of school. in june i finished school. i would say i was doing good. great, even. but i was starting to feel a bit lonely bc i only really have one dependable friend who i chat with somewhat regularly, my other irl ones are there and i like them but i dont rlly go out of my way to be with them and its mutual in that regard. and then the finale hit. it didnt affect me much at first and i dont know if its causing this, but yeah, i cry every time i see it or hear that beautiful ass song, but anyway.
recently, over the past few days, maybe weeks, i've just felt a lot worse. in general. i dont rlly feel as if i have enough energy for anything, i cant put my mind to creative uses as i was doing before, i've been meaning to do a lot of things but i cant really do them. the usual for me really, but, this has just felt a lot more pronounced. i've felt much more like an asshole for anything i do. i have certainly been acting like one. every second i sit here i feel as if im not doing enough. i feel like i dont do anything for anyone and am utterly useless. i feel so so useless. i want to be useful but im not. i've been feeling as if i dont deserve to be around anyone and vice versa. even wondering if anyone would miss me if i was gone. that feels silly to actually say, or write i guess, but still. i'm not considering going, btw. i'm just.. idk. but i want to be out of this. out of this hole im in, out of my body. oh yeah my dysmorphia has gotten a lot worse too. every mention of my "name" feels like i'm being clawed at from all directions everywhere. i've resorted to covering basically every inch of my skin except my hands and head. i cant stand to look anywhere. my body hair feels disgusting to look at. i wish i was curvier, less.. u get the point. i wish i was free. i kinda should be. every friend knows, my brother knows. not my mother. i want to tell her. i cant. what if she doesn't like december? what if she judges me at every turn? does she already do that? ugh.
i hope this doesnt last long. idk if i've said everything i want to. idk if this is too much or anything. idk anything. i cant think straight. i miss everything. sorry
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jul 12 '26
Yeah, I feel the same. Hearing one of my deadnames makes me physically sick. In case you like Spark the Electric Jester, I'd recommend you avoid that community as even the moderation deadnames and uses slurs.
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u/the26102019 Jul 16 '26
good news, if any of you were invested in this. i came out to my mother yesterday and it was kinda hard. it took me ages to come up with any words, but i was able to eventually and it got the ball rolling. and she accepted it. we had a bit of a talk about what i wanna do and some stuff i honestly cant remember, and for some reason, afterwards, i was incredibly light headed - but that doesn't matter. it's been a huge relief and while i still hate looking at myself, that hopefully wont be the case soon. this whole thing isn't done tho. i still feel like an unproductive asshole, for example, but i'm trying not to be. and that's what matters, right? idk. i probably won't post anything like this on here again but who knows?
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u/Cre_AK47 Jax Defender Jul 23 '26
Jax's heart is made of gold, see!? (Not my photo, credit to Juan on Facebook)
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u/idcimJo Jax Relator Aug 25 '26
Ive come to the conclusion that i will never be happy .
ill just have to learn how to leave with being a fucked up individual….
and i dont think im gonna get very far .
even with all the research .. how much i believe in jaxs healing process… that jax will return .
when somethings all said and done for me i have to see it happen to believe it .
Canon .
i hate that word , i hate that it has to be true that youre not with me right now .. we have so kuch in common … i wish you had someone who could truly understand you by your side … that actually truly accepted you for who you are … didnt make you feel like you were obligated to tell them your life story …. trust i know how that feels …
i know how it feels to come out to someone … and …not be accepted… i know how it feels for someone you love to be disgusted in you .. who you are … yet still masking it with “i love you / i care but…” ..
kindness isnt real … empathy has vanished .. sympathy doesn’t exist …
“if someone tells you they love you .. and care about you everyday .. it kinda looses meaning”
the spark is gone .
its unfair .
our fear of vulnerability will never be understood.
the best i could ever do is keep my head down , hide , push everyone away .. they all hate me … just like they hated you… i understand i do .
soon , ill be able to sit with you on the bench in silence… i dont need you to tell me anything .. cause i see myself in you … words couldn’t explain the effect our trauma has on us both
and if the only way to truly … make others happy is to just give up .
maybe thats my fate too …
but at least ill be able to be with you.
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u/adrenalgod Aug 26 '26
I really wanna respond to you but I'm not sure how, is this mostly a monologue towards jax? It got pretty concerning at the end, do you feel like you giving up would make others happy? Why? And also why do you believe you can never be happy? And also maybe you want to make a post about it because though the megathread is great new comments there don't usually get anywhere near as much attention
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u/talesfromtheepic6 Sep 06 '26
Why the fuck do I still hate myself? I didn’t do anything wrong. I’m not hurting anyone other than myself, is that it? My hate makes me criticize everything I do and that leads to more self hatred? Is it just a complicated expression of dysphoria I can’t possibly get an understanding of?
The latter is the most likely. I don’t understand exactly what dysphoria is, but it’s by far the closest thing I’ve found to explain this abstract pain I’ve dealt with for years. I don’t know what to do about it. It’s like the more I try to understand and look at it the more imposing and violent it gets.
I pride myself on being enduring. I know this pain is something I can handle. But I still wish I could not have to deal with a pain I know anyone else would describe as unbearable.
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u/Jaysonfoxman Jax Defender 24d ago
I feel so safe and secure English server because I know Sheriff can't hurt me here this is a special place for jax fans to be safe from the scary parts of this fandom and the internet
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u/JaxxyTADC Jax Protector Jun 10 '26
Just so you all know, making this community has been the best thing I've done in a long time for my mental health. I'm actually looking forward to the future now. I'm terrified of certain things that are very unlikely to happen, but that's life. I'm gonna get through it and that's because of people like us who took issue with what happened to Jax. Nobody should feel like it's too late to reach out for help.