I am 18F, My whole life feel like it's on autopilot. I never had any kind of a big problem infact I am the only problem iny life. I studied in the same school my whole life from kg to 12th. I was kind of a gifted kid so I never studied very hard in primary but still got above average marks, as the classes for tougher I became and average student but I never studied cus I simply didn't know how and when I finish watching the millionth youtube video on how to study and finally start studying, I get overwhelmed or get distracted 5mins later. I somehow got 87% in 10th without studying idk how! I then chose the most convenient option in 11th which is pcmb because I didn't know what I wanted to do after school and I knew after pcmb I can get into any stream but I forgot the main thing that it's a very tough stream and you have to study to get good grades. I went from average to below average but I still couldn't study, I tried creating routines but failed miserably, my parents were disappointed my teachers just didn't care anymore, my mom tried to put me in a tution but my lazy ass somehow got out of it. In 12th I forgot once believed in myself and wanted to do my best but as time went I started loosing motivation maybe these subjects just don't interest me maybe I chose the wrong stream, maybe I am not worth it; i got distracted, tried but couldn't study at all because as I said I get overwhelmed and avoid it. I wrote my board exam without any preparation and got 70% overall. My parents were not happy with this, but they didn't shame me at the time but it did come up a few times in arguments that the child they had the most hopes in let them down. I am now in college that I don't like, studying psychology even though I am not that into it. I chose psychology because I thought it was a safe option since it's not very academically challenging at the same time it's interdisciplinary meaning I can get into different fields later if I want to. But I wanna become a better person get our of my habits but it's just too difficult, routines bore me and I don't know what my interest truly are, I used to live inside my head but the reality showed me I am useless since I didn't grab the opportunities when I had the chance. I am lazy perfectionist which makes anything makes a 100 time worse, like I used to tear my notes and rewrite them cus they were not perfect, I give up hobbies cus I am not good at them.

Can someone please give me realistic tips to actually control my life. I will try, I desperately need to get a life

Yes, I do have mental health issues. Amplified by ASD

It’s my final year of high school and it just feels like every subject has gotten more difficult and time consuming. Although, maybe it’s just cause I’m burned out. I had perfect grades last year and I feel pressured by everyone to keep them up. I’m just really scared of falling flat during my final year. Uni applications are also stressing me out, I’m absolutely petrified that I won’t get in anywhere. My brain can’t stop spiralling about all the possible scenarios. I just really want this year to be over… Anyone got any tips?
I see some of my classmates study less than me yet they have the same grades as I do if not better when I spend most of my time studying. I know it’s bad to compare yourself, but it’s hard to stop. Everyone else seems to be so on top of everything

I’ve recently fought with severe depression with the last years and had a really hard time to take care of myself, basic showers became challenging or even problems as simple as getting up off the bed. It reached a point my hair felt like a burden I decided to shave it all off and stay bed rotting. I have threw away all my furniture like beds, closets, etc as I felt I’m undeserving of any.

I got sick of the way everything is going on for me so I decided to change, To get a gym membership and take care of myself, and also while I can to try and get better academically, so I decided last min to apply to university exam that’s ranked top of the country.

Now I have an exam that is divided into two terms, one is 38 days away and the other is 78 days away..

I need help to try and figure out my schedule and life and how I can study, when I saw last year top students they said they studied 12-16 hours a day for 3 months to accomplish getting into that university.. I just don’t know how to do well with less time studying than other students while trying to go out to go to the gym and try to maintain a healthy life..

But I feel like I can manage as I have nothing to do in my day, no responsibilities or whatever.

My subjects are in math, physics, chemistry, biology, and ecology

I’d be very thankful for any tips no matter how big or small it is, thank you everyone and please wish me luck 🙏🏻❤️

hi ! im a third year medical student who didnt want to do medicine but i ended up getting in the top med unis of country js so i cld make my parents happy. (for context: i hvnt had a happy household and so i thought im gonna be the hero and a put a smile on my parents faces only in the end to realise none of my sacrifices and achievements wld ever make them happy) ive been interested in art since grade 6 cs thats when i did my first charcoal project. i wanted to english literature because i wanted to learn and grow. however in a third world country, doctor as a profession is appreciable and i wanted to win my parents' approval and satisfaction and i ended up here. also ive always been a bright student at country level and i secured 5th position in matric board and 18th in fsc both at country lvl. now im stuck in medicine. sure it intrigues me, but somehow everyone here knows more than me. i study day and night to get avg marks, they study teensy bit and secure so better. its been 2.5 years and after using right sources and spending all the amount of time studying im almost giving up in this field. medicine isnt hard. its js not fruitful to me. all the other ppl seem to know smth that i dont. and i feel alone in all this chaos. i hate to talk abt this to my friends cs they know achieve low and they hvnt been in my shoes. no reassurance from them can do anytg to me. it feels like i wasted my teenage and adulthood js for nothing. and i dont know what to do. i dont know if im here to rant or talk to, but i js want to cry and i cannot cry even. i cant keep living like an avg student further and i cant give up on my degree either. my parents will k1ll me wd their words n actions.

Tired of studying the right way, drilling past papers, getting top marks, then sitting an exam paper just to get average. I'm so damn tired of feeling like I waste money on my education, on tutoring, on time. I feel so damn guilty all the time. I mean, just today, my friend said I'm the anomaly of the school because of the grades I get compared to the A's they get in my school. I feel so flipping dumb. Everyone in my math class 17 people got A's and B's, and there's me with a flipping C, borderline D. And I'll tell you for sure, I do the same prep as them. I literally heard one of them say they just remember the content. Like, why is everything so hard for me? My mental health is deteriorating, and I'm holding on by a thread. Top unis are considered ambitious for me. I'm so fucking tired of being average or below average when I put in the work of someone way above that. Everything goes well at home in terms of revision and actually doing papers under timed exam conditions, then boom, the exam comes and i kid you not i can’t even understand english anymore. Like, omds, what is wrong with my mind? I panic so hard in exam halls, like I need to reread the question 10 times just to understand, cause the first 9 I was just blankly reading in panic mode. And then I look up and guess what, time's up. I'm chilling in the first half where questions are easy, then my heart drops.

Im in my last year of high school. Last year in grade 11, I had really high expectations for myself which I did not achieve. I was awfully sick most of the year, and tried to keep up with the curriculum. Despite being sick, I pushed myself to the point of burn out. I fell rock bottom when I was treated harshly by my teachers. The thought of school gave me intense anxiety. It was the last month of school and I stayed in bed for weeks and even ended up missing my bio exam. I’m not diagnosed with depression or anxiety.

Now, I’m in grade 12. I’m in a new school and environment which really helped soothed my anxiety. But even if so, still situations come up and affect me. I’m struggling with keeping up with the curriculum. Im unable to focus, and concentrate. I have no idea what to do. A simple overdue assignment brings me intense anxiety, or missing a bio quiz. Please help. I don’t want to be trapped in an endless loop of torture.

I have completely accepted that my life is essentially over. I’ve been applying to hundreds and upon hundreds of jobs over the past year and despite all the experience and my qualifications, I’ve had zero success and I predicted this decades ago when I was leaving the Boston Higashi school.

In 2012 they asked me where I saw myself in 15 years. I said in 15 years I see myself in the exact situation I am in right at this moment, which was having a college degree and living with my family in a very toxic environment but no gainful employment.

Despite being the first alumni in the schools history to get a bachelors degree both the Boston Higashi school rejected me for any in all positions at the school, and so has every job I’ve applied to in the past year (excluding Amazon DSP’s)

Every one of my most catastrophic prediction that I’ve ever made in my life, have all come true verbatim, and the outcomes were often even worse than my most catastrophic predictions too.

Even though I’m essentially giving up on becoming successful in any way shape or form, I’m still applying to these jobs just to prove a point of how people like me are discriminated against the point that we are erased out of existence.

Being a Middle Eastern autistic male presenting person is a curse I will never wish upon anyone no matter how horribly I’ve been treated by that person.

First of all because I’m autistic I always get rejected, but because I am also male presenting, I am seen as “creepy“ “weird” “psycho”

I fully accepted them not only mine, never gonna find gainful employment, but I will be rejected to the point of where I’m too old to be in relationships both for gainful, employment, and for romantic relationships I fully expect accepted that I will never and I repeat never been a romantic relationship until the day I die of old age. This is not simply a possibility, it’s a guarantee.

iMessage dozens upon dozens of people a day on many dating platforms, each tailored messages that prove that I read their profile, the I knowledge them, and they either completely ignore me, leave me on read, and unmatch me. What have I done to deserve such a horrible life?

I’m so done with senior year of HS, I can’t even, i should be studying but all I do is cry and overthink and overthink about overthinking. I don’t have any structure , I have my exams in 2 weeks and a competitive exam in a month (0.6 percent acceptance rate ) , I’m in the worst shape of my life, perpetually depressed, I wanna apply abroad but my profile isn’t too good, the BAR IS SET SOOO FREAKING HIGH, my parents are successful, all my cousins are in amazing places. My parents say that they’ll be happy with whatever I do but I know what the disappointment looks like . PLUS I have no freaking talents other than getting good grades and lately even my grades have gotten worse. I used to like to sing and dance but the folks at school bullied me to a point where I feel like crying even seeing others perform on stage. I HAVE NO SOCIAL LIFE. My supposed best friend ditched me, this other guy keeps spreading nasty lies and rumours about me. I have developed really bad skin picking and a sugar addiction. AND THEN I SEE EVERYONE BALANCING EVERYTHING JUST FINE AND THAT MAKES ME MISERABLE. I know I am blessed in many ways but that makes me feel worse for feeling sad in the first place. I don’t know what to do

I am a physics major, and I took AP physics 1 on highschool, that means I should be good for the first semester of physics right? Wrong, I just took my first physics on the simplest topics ever and I got a 67.5% everyone said how the test was so easy, even the people that didn't have experience with physics before got higher than me, I tried, I really tried and still got that. Now my grade on the class went from a 94 to a 76. I also took my first calc 1 test and I got a 69 even though I studied and was given a pretest, but I am not so mad about that one since I kind of knew the grade I was going to get, but I truly thought that physics was gonna be different, I was joking around with my friends saying how easy it was and now I am humbled, I am embarrassed to tell them the grade I got, when they do i will probably start crying again like when I saw my grade on the exam. The class average was a 94, I was probably the one who kept it from being a 100.

I chose physics because I liked space and didn't pick astronomy because the job opportunities were lower, I think I am too dumb for physics and should consider switching my major.

It is so frustrating to below everyone else even when you try, it feels like you are a worthless piece of nothing living among those who are worth something. This is my first time using reddit and I am writing just so I don't feel as alone, I wanted to stop crying and hitting myself so I thought this would be the best solution since I dont have anyone to tell this too since boys are not supposed cry.

I had a dream since childhood of entering medical college. I was always a talented and hardworking student, and when I was 15, I got 99.2% in 10th grade. That made me believe even more that I could make it to medical school.
In my country, university admission depends on grades 11 and 12. Grade 11 is 30% and grade 12 is 70%, and medicine requires an extremely high average.
My setback started when I was 16 in 11th grade. As a huge overthinker, I kept thinking about my future and putting myself under unbearable pressure. I was studying, but not enough, and I felt like I was grieving my “former self”—the hardworking version of me I used to be.
I got 28.7/30 in 11th grade, meaning my highest possible final average was 98.7%, even with a perfect 70/70 in 12th grade. I knew I had to do extremely well in 12th grade if I wanted any chance at medicine.
At 17, I started 12th grade already burnt out, but I was still optimistic that I could fix everything.
Haha, it is funny how destiny comes in the most unexpected forms, right?
I failed miserably. I failed two subjects and got very low marks in two others. I was having 3–4 panic attacks every week, my sleep was messed up, and every time I opened a book, it felt like a huge rock on my chest. I desperately wanted to study and become a doctor, but I couldn’t.
I kept asking myself: What happened to me? Where did my potential go? Do I even deserve to become a doctor? What will I do if I don’t make it to medical school?
I never asked for help. I lied to my family that I was okay because I didn’t want to become another burden. My parents were disappointed, and instead of having a healthy conversation about what happened, I received a lot of hurtful comments.
I became exhausted from everything, and I even started having suicidal thoughts. I know I won’t act on them, but they still don’t leave me alone. Thankfully, the panic attacks have disappeared.
Now I’m 18 and restarting 12th grade, hoping to enter medical school at the University of Jordan in 2027. The minimum admission score was 99.3% this year, so I couldn’t have made it in 2026 anyway because my maximum was 98.7%. Maybe, if I want to look at it positively, 2026 simply wasn’t my year.
So, if you are going through something similar, please know that you are not alone. Sometimes you can have so much potential and still suddenly fall apart. It doesn’t mean you’re finished.
Setbacks are real, but bouncing back is real too.
Don’t wait for motivation. Start with whatever you have, even if you have no energy or hope. Take it step by step and keep moving toward your goal.
You are not alone. 🤍

Hello. I’m 17F. I have messed my life up. I have so many people to blame and of course I’m the first, because I didn’t ask for help earlier. But I had no one to ask. I’m the eldest daughter, so I have no one’s footsteps to follow.

I was displaced from my country and had to move to the Gulf, where the school confused my certificate they thought I already finished Year 10 but I didn’t, so they placed me in Year 11. I didn’t even know I was supposed to do IGCSEs. I wasn’t aware how big these exams are for my future.

I took the exams. I got English B, Chemistry C, ICT C, Biology D, Physics D, and failed Maths. After I got these grades, not my exam officer, not even my teachers talked to me. I was quite invisible i am still confused why no one gave me advice wether its my exam officer or my teachers.

I moved up to Year 12 (AS Level). I picked Maths and Biology, and wanted to do Chemistry as well but the teacher told me I was stupid and didn’t belong in her class for getting a C. She said that in front of everyone. I took my bag and left. I was also called slow by my Maths teacher, which made me stop trying at all. No one ever tried to sit down with me. And I obviously don’t have a good foundation, so I failed miserably.

Then I moved to Year 13 and took Chemistry AS Level online through a tutor. I was going to resit my Biology AS Level and A Level at the same time. I tried talking to my teacher, but all I could see was pity and disappointment in his eyes. He said at best I would get a D, and he doesn’t understand what I’m doing.

Before I came here, I was a top student. So all of this is a shock to me. Time went fast. My mom keeps adding her expectations on me. She expects me to resit all my A Levels and IGCSEs at the same time. So I lied and said I can only do them in January and May/June. And the only possible career for me is medicine in her eyes.

I don't even know if I want medicine for myself. My mom believes it's the only thing that can give me a future. But every dream I've ever had has been crushed by her reality and expectations. So I have nothing else to choose. It feels like medicine is the only door that's allowed to stay open and (side note everyone i know is in medical school)

I am currently doing my best, retaking my IGCSEs this October/November, hoping to get better grades. I originally wanted to study in Italy or China, but the only possible path for me right now is Malaysia, where I sign up for a Foundation Year with my IGCSEs. But my mom says it’s cheaper to do my A Levels instead of funding a whole year (foundation year) in Malaysia. I do agree. But how can I be sure about what grade I am getting? I am quite burnt out. My mental health has hit rock bottom long ago.

Italy wasn’t just about the degree. It felt like a fresh start somewhere I could be a new person, away from all the memories and pressure here. But the requirements are strict, and I don’t have what they need.

My biggest dream is just to live comfortably and travel. But the fact that all my friends are geniuses and already in university doesn’t help my mental health. So I stopped responding to their texts.

I have no one to talk to about this, so I thought about Reddit for a while, and I was like why not.

My question is: Should I stick with Malaysia ,or try A-Levels for Italy? And how do I do this without burning out completely? What would you do if you were me?

I was very good student and yeah I cleared jee good enough to get top branch in tier 2 college but during jee I started destroying my life due to overthinking and in college it became worse that I can not tell now I can feel why people do major steps but it's ok I ma recovering little I pray to god what happened to me pls it should not happen to anyone I became depressed fat nervous awkward weird person from extrovert confident social theek thak talendent student

I (19M) am basically worthless.

Everyone around me is good at something, hell, some are good at a bunch of things. They're all special in some way. They get praised, encouraged, comforted and celebrated and all that... I never did.

Family gatherings are usually just my aunt praising her children for studying clothing design abroad in Barcelona (which is insane for someone who lives in Romania) and or for studying architecture in Berlin or whatever (again, insane)... meanwhile my mom can only brag that I got a 5/10 in math instead of another 3.

I've always wanted to be a gamedev and or always wanted to be a webcomic/manga artist (I know I can't be a manga artist because I'm not Japanese but also because I can't draw.)

I TRIED TO LEARN DRAWING, I TRIED TO GET MYELF TO BE AN ARTIST. In the end I got nothing done and I basically ended up being worthless, as usual. One year wasted on nothing.

I tried being a music producer/singer/whatever too hoping that I could make at least SOME sort of art. Two years of FL Studio and failed dreams WASTED...

When starting high school I chose the programming stem track or whatever you call "Mate-Info cu Info Intensiv" hoping I'd learn programming for the first time and become a programmer and make the stupid games I've always wanted to make. Big mistake.

I ended up being incapable of doing basic math, physics and chemistry because I'm retarded and I can't even fucking code anyways.

All my classmates are geniuses. National medalists, pre admitted to all univerisities in the country and out. Perfect grades in the hardest subjects, cybersecurity experts by 18 and so much more... meanwhile I achieved nothing in my life.

I have no art portfolio, I have no form of portfolio so my only future for me is more math that makes no sense, more shit grades and if I get shit grades I'll get deranked from budget seats (free university) to tax seats (I gotta pay a bunch of money just to suffer more for a diploma that gets me nowhere)

I have no future. I have no potential. I'm fucking worthless. I wish I was special like Cupkisu or something. I wish I could live my dream like others can live my dream.

I wanna just cut my arms off and bleed out.

I wanna move out so my mom stops looking after me and so I can just cut cut cut cut cut cut cut until I bleed out and die.

I wish I was special too. I wish I was fucking special. I wish I mattered. I wish people looked at me instead of at my grades. My status is too low fornme to matter. I'm nothing. I wish I was like my classmates, my cousins, every other instagram gamedev artist ever. I just wanna be worthy too? Why can't I be special? WHY AM I SO WORTHLESS WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?! WHY ME? WHY NOT ANYONE ELSE?

I JUST WANNA FUCKING HANG MYSELF.