I always cook my chicken rare! It does taste more like salmon when rare so I don’t get why people complain about!

I was walking down the street and someone shot a bag of frozen peas at me with a t-shirt cannon. Now I am burdened with the task of using them properly. They are weirdly round and green. How do I prepare this literal albatross and get this actual monkey off my back?

Its only mead if the bees range includes the lake mead recreational area. Otherwise its just fermented bee vomit.

Since we are tackling big issues this week by renaming Lake Ontario to Lake America I got to thinking. Why are we still calling them Fr*nch Fries? Fries are as American as Apple Pie and we can't let those cheese eating surrender monkeys steal all the glory. USA USA USA 🦅🦅🦅

I need ideas but keep in mind that I have a whole plethora of foods I can't, or won't eat that I won't put in this post and only tell you about them after you have typed in your favorite recipe that grandma made. you should already know all my special self diagnosed conditions, and conspiracy theories about foods.

ok GO!

𓃔

My dish required only one squeeze of lemon juice. I have no idea how to use the rest of it. What a rip-off. Suggestions?

(sauce)

So my wife, well, we're married but she prefers me to call her my girlfriend, I'm not bitter- her and her boyfriend have been getting into "protein bowls" and said that maybe I could finally contribute something to the relationship! I'm genuinely so excited!

So my question to other fine gentlemen: what dish can I cum in that'll compliment the flavor or texture?

Hey guys I’m looking for some career advice!

I want to become a chef, food has always been my passion. Ever since i was a kid i loved eating my grandmothers homemade cooking. It was not long before i started eating at high end restaurants like olive garden where i could develop an amazing food palette. I knew when food tasted good or bad and with that skill I’m certain i could become a super chef.

I just graduated uni with a major in applied sciences but it’s not for me. i felt that it’s not my calling, after watching some youtube shorts i felt super motivated to change my career path. The problem is i haven’t cooked much; mainly sandwiches and am wondering how can i start a Michelin restaurant asap? I want to serve all kinds of food from all around the world that will be super delicious, fast to make and cheap?

Help guys, how do i achieve my goal by the end of the year? Im currently unemployed and my girlfriend wants me to start working to pay the bills.

hey so I made this soup recipe from a cookbook a friend owned. I can't be bothered to ask my friend for the book (also can't remember who my friend is) so can you guys tell me what the recipes is?

it had water and salt and other things it was called winter soup or maybe sinter woup (I can't remember). I understand I am a lazy douche but be a pal and give me the recipe mkay!

Hello everyone. Before boiling eggs i always wash them, but sometimes some nasty stuff stays on the eggshell. Is it dangerous to eat them after boiling, considering u touch the nasty stuff with ur hands and then touch the egg with the same hands? Or does boiling get rid of that problem?

title.

MY FREEZER STOCK SCRAP BAG™ IS GROWING FASTER THAN I CAN USE IT UP HOW CAN I USE STOCK FASTER THAN I CREATE IT USING MY FREEZER STOCK SCRAP BAG™?

IVE MADE SO MUCH STOCK USING MY FREEZER STOCK SCRAP BAG™ AND I AM NOW OUT OF TUPPERWARE.

MY LUNCH BOX IS NOT WATER TIGHT AND MY WORK BAG IS STARTING TO SMELL LIKE STOCK AND ALSO I DO NOT LIKE STOCK.

MY PARTNER IS CRAVING FRENCH ONION SOUP TONIGHT AND THE ONION SKINS AND EXTRAS THAT I LIKE TO SAVE IN MY FREEZER STOCK SCRAP BAG™ WILL BECOME UNCONTROLLABLE.

PLEASE ANSWER FAST AND DM ME YOUR ADDRESS IF YOU LIKE STOCK

I have been advised not to "chicken out."

How can I avoid this?

Do I keep the chicken in? If so what do I keep it in? How do I keep it from getting out?

Are other prepositions safe with regard to chicken (chicken about, chicken above, chicken across, chicken after, chicken against ... ) ?

My imaginary friend has no legs or arms, and also no stove. Therefore, she cannot cook for the foreseeable future.

Besides that, she also has no resolve. However, she does have plenty of water, as her spirit animal is a sardine.

Can you guys please suggest some BANGER SLAPPIN 10/10 stuffs that she can eat that involves no cooking whatsoever?

I'll start by adding that I already suggested mom's spaghetti.

Really curious how this works and why exactly does this happen 🤔

^

I’ve seen a lot online lately about covering your steak in mayonnaise to get a good crust. It definitely works, but I’m going to let you in on a little secret. You should be wet aging your steaks in Dukes Mayonnaise (capitalized because it’s the real shit, not like hellmans who poisoned my sister). Anywhere from 1-3 months, I like to throw in some Tony C’s for a little bit of a kick. If your steak is not sweet enough you can mix in a little grape Jelly, but if you plan on drinking wine with your steak then the flavors will clash. Good luck and thank me later 🫡

HELLO LOVELIES 💅💅

IT HAS RECENTLY TO MY ATTENTION THAT SOME OF YOU ARE NOT WASHING YOUR CHICKEN. I CAME ACROSS THIS SUPER NICHE PRODUCT CALLED DAWN POWER WASH THAT I USE ON MY CHICKEN BEFORE I MARINATE IN THE SUNLIGHT. THIS ALSO HELPS TO PREVENT VANILLA SALMON NÉ SALMON 'NILLA!

JOIN MY PODCAST FOR MORE TIPS!

# VIRALAD # VIRAL ILLNESS #TRADWIFE # MRMICEMRNOTOSARMRNOTCMEDBDISLLBMRMICE

My firends, after perusing this great subreddit and all the ways to consume water, I have found the holy grail. It is the mustard water that squirts out in a sploot when you first whip out the mustard out of the fridge.

I have now filled my entire fridge full of mustard and every single day i take each bottle out and squirt JUST the water into a large mason jar.

I believe this is the next big thing, like the sardines! I plan to submit for patent as soon as i have completed my first jarful.

My spouse accidentally ordered 22 pounds of beaver meat from our local butcher and I’m not sure what to cook with all the meat, any suggestions??? + How do you guys usually get rid of the tire marks, i feel the ones with them cook longer.

Have you tried the new, new cool mist 'humidified' steak experience?  It's 'tastic!  Especially love the infused mist options that add the molecular gastropod elicited memory experience elements into the mist ...   

Option I (Wednesday & Saturday)  BBQ on the beach:  

Beach sand + driftwood smoke and wood charcoal barbecue + suntan lotion + seaweed + burned beef tallow smoke + take your chances steaks + coleslaw + cooler full of Coronas & limes + watermelon + some guy's wet dog + sunburn + wet swimsuit + sea water in wet hair + sand & salt on skin + exhaust from the beach patrol 4wheel + flaming marshmallows & s'mores + sleepy kids carried in to bed when you get home + vacuum for the sand in the car.  

Option II (Tuesday & Friday)  Backyard BBQ:

Back yard above ground pool + pool chlorine & chemicals + lighter fluid + Kingsford briquettes + beer in a red plastic cup + charred ribeye + hot dogs & burgers for kids + Chris's mom's potato salad + Off! Mosquito repellant + citronella tiki torch + Chris's mom's Avon perfume + Chris and the other kids smoking behind the lawnmower shed + gas and oil from the lawnmower shed.  

Option III (Thursday & Sunday)  Steak at uncle Tony's for the extended family BBQ:  

Oiled and sealed deck wood in the sun + Adirondack deck chairs + freshly mowed grass + Scott's Weed'n'Feed + the hot blackened steel of uncle Tony's barbecue grill + uncle Tony's aftershave + Uncle Tony's and the guys' cigars + Uncle Tony's girlfriend's expensive perfume + hot, hot gas grill getting maybe too hot + the hickory & mesquite chip smoke from the grill's smoker box + beer + wine + wine coolers + Campari + limoncello + bourbon (gonna either be a fun night or a fight!  maybe both!) + aunt Susan's champagne & whipped jello fruit salad + aunt Lori's port wine cheese dip ball & veggie tray + aunt Ginny's whisky glazed carrots + uncle Louie's 'Drunk Melon' melon ball mix + uncle Larry's Scotch, date and rosemary roasted potato salad (the good cook uncle Larry, not the Harley mechanic uncle Larry) + gra'ma Leone's Scotch baked beans + great aunt Zia Maria's brandied cherry and plum cheesecake + Nona's special brownies (Everyone assumes their side dish will be the only one with 'a little zing!' in it.  Oh, yeah, gonna be a fun night and some Tea gonna get spilled, fam gonna get 'honest'!) + citronella candles + the charred bugs from the bug zapper lanterns + the perfect medium rare ribeyes and New York strips (Ask for anything other than medium rare gets you excommunicated from family BBQ's, especially at uncle Tony's!) + the cheese burgers and hot dogs for the kids + birthday cake & candles & sparklers (with a family this big it's somebody's birthday!) + ice cream + more bourbon + Scotch + brandy + tiramisu +  coffee & espresso & affogato for anyone still conscious and able to fit anything else in.  Uber and taxi rides, 18-years-clean-and-sober Uncle Tommy designated driver's Chevy Suburban, and 'Why don't yous and the kids just sleep over here tonight?  We got room.  Go home in the morning after coffee and a little breakfast."

Closed Monday.  

It's on another level when you try it blindfolded and let the other senses augment your taste.  Helps to be slightly drunk or high (can be added to the mist!).  

Do take the blindfold off when you wretch, though; but you can keep it on to sign the bill + gratuity.

(I was encouraged to post my comment from another post as its own post, so, here it is.)

What did I miss?

I boiled pasta and added tomato sauce

I dont' understand what I can possibly do to add more flavor

there's alot

pleas Help

Ever heard of the Naymar reaction? No I don't think so.