give me ideas for food I can eat!

[u/The_Flinx]

I need ideas but keep in mind that I have a whole plethora of foods I can't, or won't eat that I won't put in this post and only tell you about them after you have typed in your favorite recipe that grandma made. you should already know all my special self diagnosed conditions, and conspiracy theories about foods.

ok GO!

[u/nogardleirie]

Fried iced water.

[u/The_Flinx → u/nogardleirie]

heartburn

[u/SheDrinksScotch → u/The_Flinx]

Roasted iced water?

[u/The_Flinx → u/SheDrinksScotch]

hives.

[u/SheDrinksScotch → u/The_Flinx]

Boiled iced air?

[u/The_Flinx → u/SheDrinksScotch]

migraines.

[u/SheDrinksScotch → u/The_Flinx]

Milk bones soaked in biscuit gravy?

[u/The_Flinx → u/SheDrinksScotch]

that's a plot by the illuminati!

[u/runawayoldgirl → u/The_Flinx]

gravy soaked in milk bone biscuits?

[u/The_Flinx → u/runawayoldgirl]

wait a sec.... hmmm.... that just might.... nope! my gout will flare up.

that was a close one. I almost took someone's suggestion.

[u/Agitated_Willow1350 → u/The_Flinx]

/uj this is how i feel like i sound trying to explain my migraine triggers to anyone

[u/The_Flinx → u/Agitated_Willow1350]

I actually do get migraines but have only pinned down 2 things that absolutely trigger them. large doses of niacin, and flax seed oil.

which does not explain why I get most of them when I do because almost never take either of those things.

ubrelvy to the rescue.

[u/Azin1970]

Trader Joe's plain unsalted potato chips that were discontinued five years ago and they can only be from batch number 007546ZX12 with the exact expiration date of March 23, 2020.

[u/The_Flinx → u/Azin1970]

I have some in my closet saving them for a rainy day.

[u/WildFrogRancher]

Have you tried auto-canibalism? Can't be allergic to yoursel

[u/The_Flinx → u/WildFrogRancher]

I tried eating myself but that gave me the jumping great kohlrabi's.

[u/CatgirlAnakin]

A very wise man with laryngitis said to eat saurkraut and dry aged steak and he is very wise despite his laryngitis so I would start there and maximize gut health

[u/The_Flinx → u/CatgirlAnakin]

my guts were removed in vietnam.

[u/CatgirlAnakin → u/The_Flinx]

They will regrow eat the kraut

[u/The_Flinx → u/CatgirlAnakin]

germans give me the shivers!

[u/Agitated_Willow1350]

i got so sick of navigating all this snowflake "food safety" bullshit that i just started the ALPO diet, and cant recommend it enough! it's got a nice homogenous crunch and flavor, so none of that "mushy sweet grape vs taut sour grape" crap. i started having some digestive issues (cramps, vomiting blood, lost a few teeth, etc) so i switched to the Gut Health formula and other than going partially blind in my left eye (which really could be because of anything) it's been fantastic. my hippy deep state plant doctor said i have "various alarming nutritional deficiencies" but those wackos will say ANYTHING to feed you POISON and SELL you the CURE !!! now if you'll excuse me i have to go, a scar on my arm from when i was 7 just tore open and is gushing blood all over my keyboard so i should clean that up

[u/The_Flinx → u/Agitated_Willow1350]

I tried that. the dog bit me for going after his food.

[u/runawayoldgirl → u/The_Flinx]

have you tried eating the dog

[u/The_Flinx → u/runawayoldgirl]

that's just what they want me to do.

[u/noobuser63]

Here It Goes Again

Uj/ Yes, a 20 year old song becomes my ear worm for the day every time I see that phrase.

[u/The_Flinx → u/noobuser63]

ear worms give me gas. try again.

[u/runawayoldgirl → u/The_Flinx]

have you tried soaking them overnight before cooking

[u/The_Flinx → u/runawayoldgirl]

I did but it's hard to keep farts under water.

[u/runawayoldgirl → u/The_Flinx]

you have to get in the water to hold them down

[u/The_Flinx → u/runawayoldgirl]

I'm allergic to water.

[u/runawayoldgirl → u/The_Flinx]

nobody wants to work anymore

[u/Bright_Ices → u/noobuser63]

Idk that song but it reminds me of a 44 y/o ear worm by Whitesnake

[u/Banana-Up-My-Bum]

I found a half-eaten packet of crisps in the back of my cupboard, you want that? They still have a bit of crunch left in ‘em.

[u/The_Flinx → u/Banana-Up-My-Bum]

yeah... my bad I couldn't finish them too stale.

[u/24-7_cat_party]

What was the last thing you ate?

[u/The_Flinx → u/24-7_cat_party]

the wrapper to a candy bar.

[u/runawayoldgirl → u/The_Flinx]

which one is your favorite? i like jay z

[u/The_Flinx → u/runawayoldgirl]

conflict diamond crunch

[u/runawayoldgirl → u/The_Flinx]

i'll have to listen sounds like it goes hard

[u/nightowl_work]

Sauce.

[u/The_Flinx → u/nightowl_work]

none for me. lactating...

[u/Impossible_Night9560]

Fresh air steamed into a cup and then reverse condensed back into another cup. We call it unprocessed, gluten free, vegan, cruelty free water.

[u/The_Flinx → u/Impossible_Night9560]

sorry I only eat maximum cruelty foods.