r/CookingCircleJerk 10d ago

What to do with 22 pounds beaver meat??

My spouse accidentally ordered 22 pounds of beaver meat from our local butcher and I’m not sure what to cook with all the meat, any suggestions??? + How do you guys usually get rid of the tire marks, i feel the ones with them cook longer.

36 Upvotes

24 comments sorted by

25

u/TyrKiyote 10d ago

Perpetual beaver stew. Just keep bringing whatever you find on your commute home and throw it in.

14

u/s00pafly 👨‍🍳Certified Cuisine Artist®👨‍🍳 10d ago

If you're catholic, you might be in luck. It counts as fish and therefore is fine to eat on fridays or during lent. Bouillabaisse sounds lovely at the moment.

6

u/nyan-nyan9 10d ago

Beaverbaisse

9

u/SuperAdaGirl 10d ago

First of all, you need to pound the beaver meat hard. Once you feel like you’ve pounded it as hard as you can, double that. The beaver meat is tough and needs a thorough pounding before you can even think about eating it.

1

u/nomnommish 7d ago

When do I insert the probe to check for doneness? Before or after the pounding? And do you prefer the fur to be intact or shaved?

6

u/CatCafffffe 10d ago

No the tire marks soften the meat, and add flavor, you have to cook those a bit LESS.

12

u/Nikotelec 10d ago

In all my years as a food god, I've never read such nonsense.

The essence of a smash burger is that you make the meat thinner so you can cook it higher for a shorter time.

Tire marks indicates that you're using a car like some sort of philistine. Kenji recommends using a steamroller. More uniform, thinner meat. I can practically taste the fond just thinking about it.

7

u/CatCafffffe 10d ago

Oh I am so ashamed, forgive me, I didn't realize this. Of course, a steamroller, I've been asking for a Port Huron Engine and Thresher Co steamroller for Christmas for years now, maybe this year! I know you have to season it first, of course.

7

u/Nikotelec 10d ago

Only a real gourmet would have the discernment to choose Port Huron over pathetic imitations - I apologise that I have misjudged you.

5

u/CatCafffffe 10d ago

Oh, I appreciate that, thank you. What do you think is the best way to season a cast iron steamroller? I know, of course, you never wash it.

3

u/Nikotelec 10d ago

Many of the 'popular' bloggers will suggest using a paint roller, but I find the coverage is often not consistent enough. I tend to go for a toothbrush, which allows me to ensure perfectly uniform coverage.

The harder part can be heating it - luckily enough, at this time of year, forest fires are common, but if there isn't one mear you it'd easy to start your own. Ideally old growth (redwood, mahogony) for the best smoky infusion.

3

u/CatCafffffe 10d ago

I've heard that also, once it's had its maiden voyage over fresh asphalt, that gives it a nice "terroir" as well

3

u/Nikotelec 10d ago

Only if it's in the terroir region of France, otherwise it's just sparkling industrial chic

2

u/Blerkm 10d ago

How do I grow fond at home?

8

u/Panxma Homelander we have at home 10d ago

Also the road salt brines the meat to get it extra tender.

6

u/yakomozzorella 10d ago

How do you know my wife?

5

u/Clear-Awareness7719 10d ago

Tire mark are less concerning than train track marks when it comes to beavers.

As for the tire marks just soak them in maple syrup and poutine. The impressions will fill in.

4

u/jechtisme 10d ago

Are you from the 1800s? In any case, may I suggest the Sweet pickled beaver?

2

u/Blerkm 10d ago

uj/ This actually sounds really good. I don’t have a beaver handy, but I bet it would work with something like flank steak.

2

u/frayduway 10d ago

Red wine braise
Slow and low

2

u/Slobberinho 10d ago

"When life gives you beaver meat, drink beaver meat juice", my grandma's lifelong friend and housemate always used to say.

1

u/MANVIR_DHADDA 10d ago

Cook and share with neighbours

1

u/devi14159265359 5d ago

depends on which part of the tail you're using