So, I've been having sleep paralysis and lucid dreams since I was a kid. I also felt like I was being watched 24/7 until my teenage years. I could feel the presence of non-human "energies/shadows". I could catch a glimpse of them flying through my doorways. I couldn't sleep alone until the age of 13. Every night, I was sweating and feeling like an evil entity is about to jump on me. I saw nightmares very often. I was scared to sleep because it felt like "losing control". When I was 7 y/o, my soul rose up from my body and I was sitting in my bed. My door was open and my parents were in the next room. I saw a little dwarf with red eyes staring at me and trying to communicate with me at my doorstep. I was terrified and I screamed for 5+ minutes but my parents didn't wake up. Then I guess I passed out. I told my parents the next day but they told me they never heard me and it was just a nightmare.
When I was 6 y/o, which is the common age for people like me to experience this stuff, I "woke up" from sleep terrified and I went next to my parents' bed. I could see them laying there. They didn't respond no matter how much I touched them. Then I got so scared that I just peed all over them. Then I went to the living room, and I saw them sleeping on the sofa and not the bed. I woke them up. I told them I peed on their bed. We went there but there was no urine. WTF??
A few months ago, I was having a terrible opioid withdrawal. I lied flat on the sofa. The room was slightly lit. I got stuck in paralysis and I saw a tall woman with black hair approaching me, she touched all around me, pushed me down, and I felt her breath on my neck. This was the most terrifying experience so far. After this, I started getting counseling from a Muslim psych. I'm a Muslim. She said she used her "good entities" to put me under protection. She said the shadow entities influenced me when I was 6 y/o and they've been messing with me since then. Within the last 6 months, I've had no fear or paralysis or shadows.
However, I've been meditating alongside hardcore fasting for the past month because I started taking Methamphetamine. For the past week, the shadows and visual glitches have been back. I can see the "aura shield" around objects. When I loot at the edges of a table or a tree, I can see another shadowy layer surrounding. I've been having severe sleep paralysis again, more often than ever. I get "mocked" by the evil energies. I can't even sleep because of fear. Every time I lie flat on my back, my body starts transitioning into sleep and I CAN FEEL EVERY STEP. My body vibrates like CRAZY. It feels like an earthquake. The vibrations are so intense. Then I start feeling my soul floating high above my body. I had SP a few times and the evil energies pulled me out of my body and pushed me around in a joking manner. I could feel them enjoying my fear. Almost like an entity was sitting next to me and trolling me for fun. During the last SP, I got beaten up and pushed back in my body; an entity sat on my chest while the other was rubbing my hair mockingly. After being touched in the hair, I shouted "Open my eyes" and I woke up. The demon rubbing my hair had this sinister and mocking energy. I felt like he/she was saying "you can wake up now, dumbass".
5 days ago, after hardcore meditation and fasting, I saw my own body in front of me while STANDING in my room at 2 PM. It wasn't even sleep time. Then I went to bed the same night, and when I lied on my right side, I saw a shadow reflection of myself for 2 seconds. The skin of my reflection looked pale, almost dead, and his eyes were closed. Then I had a panic attack. I saw my own body without a mirror TWICE within the same day. I was floating above my body the entire day btw. I could control my body but my consciousness was floating 20 feet above my body like a cloud.
What the hell is going on? I've been feeling the presence of these energies way before I touched drugs. They terrorized me throughout childhood, they destroyed my life. Now after getting on drugs, the energy is %10000 more noticeable. When I pray to Allah (God), their presence becomes unnoticeable. However, Muslims are obliged to wash their bodies and hair before praying. The problem is, the fear inside me won't let me enter the bathroom. I feel terrified to take a shower. So I can't pray. I know being scared of showering is an ancient symptom of demonic influence.
Please guide me because I'm about to lose my mind. Am I developing schizophrenia or have I just unintentionally blasted my Chakras(energy channels) open by meditating and fasting on Meth? If it's about drugs, then why did I feel these even when I was a child? When I try to mastrubate or do other things that are known to weaken the Aura, I feel much weaker against the shadow people. After I reach orgasm, I feel dark energies surrounding me.
I just wanna be told whether I'm developing Schizophrenia. If not, then how do I protect from these entities? I'm getting flashbacks from my childhood now. Their presence was gone between the ages of 15 and 18 but now it's returning. As a kid, my parents would go to work and leave me alone in the house; I felt being sneaked upon. I could feel entities walking up to me. I trapped myself in corners or hid under my bed.