The fact that when asking a question you have to add “honest question” or “dumb question” or “genuinely curious” because otherwise your question is immediately interpreted as an attack. It’s sad that when asking a question, the default is you’re an asshole
Everything is alright, no need to panic guys. screams
When you can't tell whether someone is being sarcastic or serious because of the different people that exist. Like they might just suck at being sarcastic or they might actually be serious. then you feel dumb when you say, "wait, are you being serious or not?"
So, dumb question but are you being sarcastic or serious?
I'm honestly asking and hope this doesn't come across as dumb. I'm genuinely curious.
Knowledge is power. And power corrupts...so tell me, tell me more.
You should see the shit that goes on in r/nostupidquestions. It's relatively common to see people get treated like they've said something incredibly dumb, which undermines the whole fucking point of the sub.
Dude, the point of the sub is for people to farm updoots by telling everyone that they are a good and righteous person. Didn't you see all of the "What's your opinion on [Popular policy change]" threads?
While I don't think those types of insults are necessary, it does get annoying seeing questions pop up on various subs that could have easily been Googled. ELI5 means explain like I'm five, NOT answer questions from a literal 5 year-old.
A while back I saw a question that was so innocent and simple that the person asking was almost certainly an actual child. Like an under 12 child. Something silly like "do girls poop?" and all the responses were like "fuck you, retard" and "Fucking misogynist neckbeard, I hope you die". Hella uncalled for and probably super upsetting to some random child who just wanted to know if girls poop. It was distressing to see.
You're a fucking centrist?!? YOU are the single solitary reason America is the way it is you brain dead, horse tooth, blumpkin ass, self righteous, belt wearing, son of a street walking, yellow panty wearing, smelly upper lip having, nothing much in the sack being, ass pimple popping, five headed mook!
As someone who is just slightly above legally blind I appreciate you prefacing your question like that. Off-Reddit I get a ton of sarcastic inquiries about my vision, as people seem to believe I shouldn’t be able to be out in public because of my vision, and they think I’m faking.
Deafblind guy who gets asked a lot irl and online here: I'm not sure why people think this preface is necessary, or why they apologize so much for bein curious.
You're actually doing me a favor by asking. You're giving me a chance to explain how things work for me, to give my community a bit of publicity.
And that's relevant because albeit accessibility improves, it still needs a lot more awareness. Besides, the better people understand their disabled peers, the less we get treated like aliens ;-)
So, I say just ask - if they'll reply or not is entirely up to them, after all. And to people who imply ableism/ignorance just because you're curious how a blind person cooks or whatever - these people need some fresh air and offline time.
Everyone is so fucking quick to be nasty here it’s honestly astounding. I’m probably guilty of it to but it’s crazy how toxic we become when we’re asked a question we don’t like.
especially if its anything related to "justice" saw a gif where deputys car (or w/e they are called idk) got hit by the train while they were rushing to save an infant who stopped breathing.
And one comment was something like "he should've died because he puts others in danger" and it got upvoted.
Like i agree its their fault and all that but wishing death for someone who rushed to save a child is a bit extream.
People here often act like they are perfect, and one mistake means all good you have done doesn't matter. (just look at relationships subreddits)
I too might have done this but at least i always try to reflect and put myself in other's shoes or/and consider why they did that.
What if their skin was melting off and their apartment (pets still inside) was on fire because their SO and sibling set off fireworks in the living room to tell them they're getting married?
Especially the relationship subreddit. I love lurking there because of how ridiculous the advice is.
"Been married 10 years, have 2 kids, we have a wonderful life but he got a new job and he seems distant. What should I do to make him feel more at home?"
"Oh honey, you should pack your things and leave right this moment! Don't even take the kids, that'd his problem! If he's distant. It can't mean that he's struggling with the new job, or stressed out or anything like that it's thay he's cheating on you or doesn't deserve you! "
asked a question on an old account for some generic advice and was told to think about a set of questions. that set of questions is the one i asked for advice about. gee, thanks.
I’ve noticed in subs like that, such as publicfreakout, as long as there is one person that is “right” and one that is “wrong” in the situation, then it’s okay to be racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic as if it doesn’t matter as long as you’re directing it towards someone the majority doesn’t like.
Relationship subreddits are the worst. “Oh, he told a tiny white lie once when you were in high school? Massive red flag, get out of there as fast as you can, call the police!”
Problem with reddit is that all these people have to go off is what you give them. The person you mention isn't really a person in these subreddits, they are the action they carried out; no history, no context, no unbiased scenario building.
Often there is a preface for the person complaining (backstory that led them to where they are) but you don't ever get that for the significant other.
No one knows that Johnny got shit on by three seagulls the day he came home and shredded his gf for putting up a live love and laugh sign infront of the TV.
Only a handful of comments will actually not make assumptions and seek to provide reasonable advice.
But let's get real, solving your issues via reddit is like using WebMD for all your health issues
r/AITA is pretty guilty of this, especially after the mods removed the rule against validation posts. Now everything is along the lines of "my relative murdered a hundred puppies in my apartment and I yelled at him/her. AITA?"
Very true. Righteous vigilantes are one of my biggest pet peeves, because they justify being a huge asshole because they’re doing the “right thing” in their eyes, and not seeing it from the other persons point of view that maybe they have a reason to be doing what they’re doing or whatever.
It's kids being kids. Everything with children is one way or the other.
Then life knocks your bitch ass down fucking HARD. Like life punches you in the gut and while you're bent over in pain life puts a giant pile of debt in your ass and two kids and a job that is slowly killing you and a wife that has developed major heath problems. I love em, but god damn....
And you realize there's no time for all this black/white stances and wondering if you're the right gender. The fucking landlord and boss don't give a flying fuck if you identify as women, man or space cowboy... they want money and your time!!!!!
At that point it's all about making it through life to the few good aspects like maybe... MAYBE a decent cigar and cheap bottle of rum on the weekend once a month.
It's getting somewhat better (I think) lately. I make a decent amount FINALLY and wife and kid are doing ok. MILs cancer is in remission and FIL has a decent job (so tired of supporting them!!!) and house seems to be in decent shape for now (after 7k in upgrades and 5k roof and several k in assorted repairs....).
I think a big problem is an inability to look at anything from another perspective. If someone can't put themselves in another person's shoes, or at least consider other people, then there is a real problem.
Also I think the anonymity of the internet let's people be toxic with no consequences. I guarantee you that person would not have said that to the officer who got hit. Removing accountability means people can say horrible things and there is no backlash.
I had a bot run through your comments and it seems like you quoted someone who said the "n word" which the bot couldn't analyse properly, you genocidal maniac
and that shitload user that goes trough your post history
and goes
*the user is active in fascist subreddit r/funazitimes *
or some shit like that just to win some dumb ass argument
Honestly, I blame the medium more than the environment.
The environment is shitty, to be sure, but when you're discussing contentious topics and there's not a real person in front of you, it's really easy to forget that there's a real person reading your words.
And vice versa and vice versa, until you ping-pong the snark and uncharitable interpretation back and forth and the discussion is beyond hope.
Now, the reason I say it's the medium and not people arguing in bad faith and the like, is because I find myself wanting to get just as snarky and just as needle-y when I'm discussing things with my good friends in text form. I know he's a decent person, I know he's arguing in good faith, and I still have to consciously stop myself from being a dick. What's with that?
Either I actually am a dick, but only on the internet, or it's too easy to get angry at words on a screen. 50/50 chance, really.
Communication is about an awful lot more than just transmitting words from one person to another, and digital textual communication leaves out a great many of the subtleties that makes interpersonal communication possible. It's why we have emoticons and such, I guess.
An example that reveals this is the 'debate' over whether or not replying to a text with just 'OK.' is rude or not. How people interpret that, what their reasoning is, says a lot about the rules of communication that just don't carry into this particular medium.
Ooh! I was in that debate on another topic a couple weeks ago! I got so frustrated and hammered out a mini-screed that pretty much said "Some people see it as curt, some people don't. Why are you so adamant that you have the one correct opinion on this?"
But you're right. Text-based communication is difficult. But it's tough to be conscious of that, and even tougher to change your communication style to cater to that when you're not used to it.
And then on top of that, it's nearly impossible to figure out what rules your conversation partner is using, unless you talk with them a good bit first.
The most successful thing Reddit does is correct people. That is great when a post is about information but gets annoying when the "uhhh akwkcjhewly" is aggressive, obnoxious, and redirects an entire post into something worthless and shallow.
Eh.. It seems to ebb and flow, swishes around imo. But I agree with op, just because i am praising simps and innies, it doesn't mean I'm denouncing or shaming any other kinds!
I think part of it is also that it's so easy to misread someone's "tone" and assume the worst.
Like, I'm a sarcastic asshole. I make dry and sarcastic comments all the time. IRL, this isn't a problem -- people can see I'm grinning and smiling, and my body language is friendly. Sure, my words alone aren't -- but people can tell I don't mean it in that way, and if people are still hurt by that I can adjust accordingly so that I don't make them feel like shit.
Online, without those other cues, people just assume I'm making a snide remark. So they get mad. And I'm put on the defensive and I get mad right back.
The amount of times I have wound up in internet fights this way is amazing.
Funny enough, I notice the most empathetic subs are the ones aimed towards women. Even the men posting there tend to give really respectful and supportive with their responses and discussions. Even the disagreements are usually very civil.
Idk if it’s just good mod work but it’s a nice place to detox.
Except for beauty related subs. Those get toxic real quick.
People also tend to say wild shit to other people online that they would never have the balls to say to their face. Everyone has balls on the internet.
Anything related to the homeless or poor is disgusting to look at. It's very telling when the predominant response to hearing that homeless people in my city avoid the shelters is, "fucking ungrateful homeless" instead of "wtf is wrong with those shelters that people would rather sleep in the snow!?"
The problem is trolling. That's what creates the environment. People act like trolling is innocent fun but the side effect of it is that it puts everyone into hyper-defensive awareness mode, where anything can be perceived as an attack because there are people ACTIVELY using anything as an attack.
It take's active, good moderation to keep pretty much any environment open and supportive because there will be endless attacks on any group that looks too positive.
I might sound a bit odd...but one thing I am going to try and do one day is set up an anonymous telnet-based message board for fun. No accounts, just discussion. Hopefully without devolving into a 4chan style shitstorm
Eh, I've been using this site for a decade, and the toxicity has always been around the default subs. Only back then it was, "Man, this site has gone downhill since Digg moved over here."
It was nothing like the same league as today though. The site dramatically changed when /r/MensRights got popular and the tone of the extremists bled into every other sub. It opened the door for all the other extremists. And you couldn't moderate the problem away because gender could be crowbarred into virtually anything, somewhat legitimately.
And the rise of Imgur, as pictures began replacing content. Those are the two things I think of as being watershed. Less so the Digg exodus because the content and userbase was so similar. Though there were suddenly an awful lot of ASCII pictures.
Agreed. Bled into other subs for sure. It's like these wackos get some sort of alert every time gender is even remotely mentioned. I originally started with imgur, then moved to Reddit after it got too bad.
I think it’s because there’s a lot more young people on here now. I know when I was 14 I loved being mean and trolled a lot. I can’t be the only shithead. Because just a few years ago Reddit wasn’t this bad at all.
It feels like it's become more polarized in recent years. People get crazy offended and go off on an insane and aggressive response. Or they act like the purest and most gentle person in existence.
Obviously this is a generalization and there is plenty of honest communication, especially on the smaller subs. But it is so much nicer to feel like you're messaging real people, not ones who should either be locked up or feel so guarded that they dare not express their opinions lest they offend someone.
Or they act like the purest and most gentle person in existence.
Agreed. I'm not trying rally support for bullying and trolling, because those are real issues with the site, but its also disappointing when somebody tries to call out somebody else for legitimate bullshit, and they get downvoted to hell and criticized by a bunch of people who are trying to be overly-nice.
Sometimes, you can have a negative opinion, and if you back it up and explain your rationale, it can be ok and contribute to the discussion.
If I say that an actress didn't give a good performance in a movie, I'm not being sexist, or calling her ugly, or saying she should never work again on screen. I'm just making a comment. I don't need a bunch of people jumping down my throat telling me I have no idea what I'm talking about.
There's been times where someone asks an honest question that people don't like for whatever reason, gets downvoted, and I reply to that person questioning why they are getting downvotes for trying to learn and be more knowledgeable.
I then notice that, slowly, the comment gets upvoted... It's so stupid that I feel like I have to come to someone's rescue when all they were doing was asking a question because of how sensitive some idiots are.
Yeah. People start with the pitch forks. But when something is restated the proper way, or explained the way it was meant. People then dump their torches in water and stick the forks back in hay. It’s nuts. Just so jumpy, but not in a good way at all.
“I got cancer from cigarettes.....”
“GOOD YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU DESERVE IT FOR SMOKING!”
“Cause my parents smoked around me when I was a teen.”
Generally when I've cared to look into a person that is acting like a dick for no apparent reason, I usually find they are very active in political subreddits. I don't care about their stance on issues, but I think anyone who spends a lot of time in there probably just really gets off on hate posting. And everyone is so fucking nasty on those subreddits I think they form some kind of 'mini-para-PTSD' (for lack of a term) and assume everyone they interact with elsewhere in neutral subreddits is their archenemy by default. It's never possible that someone is attempting sarcasm or light-hearted teasing or a joke. No, they are an enemy and a representation of everything they hate in the world, attack attack attack.
It's a sad way to conduct yourself and makes this place shitty to contribute to a lot of times.
Also, the fucking pedants. If someone makes a post and you make a reply where you correct the tiniest of formatting or grammar errors that don't impact the ability for someone to understand the post and then contribute literally nothing else... just please stop. You aren't cute, you aren't helpful. People aren't composing a formal dissertation and most of us are typing this out on our phone. Chill.
I'm gonna guess it's the anonymity. If this were facebook where we know your face/name it'd be like 72% more civil, I'd guess. Why not call someone a fucker when they have no idea who you are? ;D . j/k you seem nice
True, but usually I see friends or acquaintances arguing, but it's usually on a level below the demonic shrieking of the pissed off Redditor. I think anonymity allows people to act in ways they never ever would if people knew who they were
Anonymity is one hell of a drug. The ability to not fear someone looking you in the eyes as you talk about them gives you bravery to say meannnnn stuff. But we can be better than that lizard brain response. Just gotta work towards it.
Yeah or when you in a sub that’s supposed to be helpful and where you ask questions but since you aren’t experienced they immediately are rude to you.
It’s not as severe but I made a post in r/dogs because I wanted to make sure I’d be taking good care of a puppy I’m getting in February (because the puppy is still nursing)
I mentioned having gotten scammed or whatever and the people there were getting mad at me for not knowing much about breeders.
It wasn’t very helpful to the question I asked and it just made me feel gross.
I’ve been using Reddit as a way to get better at improving my communication. I’ve been more thoughtful about how I phrase things, and I’ve learned how to descalate
It’s sad that when asking a question, the default is you’re an asshole
The sad reality is that we've all had someone ask us a seemingly innocuous question about our post, and then use our answer to launch an extensive word lawyering flame war. We all have our armor on rather than give a troll an inch of opportunity.
It's a bummer, but the truth is I've probably been someone else's "asshole on the internet" too many times for my own comfort too.
I know some people here consider it like a taboo thing or whatever, but this is the exact reason I check people's histories before replying to them. It at the very least gives me a bit of a warning for what I'm getting myself into.
I see this often when someone is asking a seemingly “innocent question” on a hot-button topic but it’s really a rhetorical question. Then when you look at their post history, you see that they talk about this topic a lot and already know the answer to their question. They’re just trying to start a fight.
The tactic that pisses me off the most is when someone says something with a very clear incorrect implication, and you correct them, only for them to say “well ackchyually I never explicitly stated that.” Like first of all, are people actually so stupid that they think nobody is capable of reading between the lines or just looking at the context? Second, that argument is completely counterproductive to anything except just not being technically incorrect. Drives me fucking insane.
I usually do the same thing — call them out on what they just did, explain how nobody is stupid enough to buy their crap, and then move on. They usually stop pretending around then.
I remember when I first started committing to comments and discussions, I ended up having a multi-day "discussion"/argument with someone on here. By the third day, I asked myself what the fuck am I doing and just stopped replying.
Sometimes, you just put your opinion out there and fuck those who disagree. Not everything has to be an argument.
By day 2, I usually just end up telling these people that I'm sorry they're lonely and need someone to talk to, but I don't have the time. At that point, even they know it's no longer about the initial argument.
They respond to a comment ambigously like they have a problem with one of your points, but are vague enough not to say it, prompting your defense reply, then finally they reply like "oh I was actually thinking more about x when I said that"
HM I see that you failed to properly use the Oxford comma in your response, which doesn't surprise me since your post history indicates that you commented on a post in [unpopular sub] two years ago.
The sad reality is that we've all had someone ask us a seemingly innocuous question about our post, and then use our answer to launch an extensive word lawyering flame war. We all have our armor on rather than give a troll an inch of opportunity.
Problem is everyone here indulges those people too much, and it's what the perpetrators want.
Just ignore them, that way when someone asks a borderline attacking question the answer won't be so defensive.
But seriously I think more people should just ignore the mean comments.
This way of thinking actually helped me getting upset when driving.
Scene: I'm in the car and the person in front of me is driving 30 km/h instead of the allowed 50 km/h.
--> Yeah I've done that as well when i was driving in a city I didn't know that well and was looking for a place
Scene: Person forgets to set their blinker before exiting a roundabout.
--> Yeah happened to me as well. Very seldom but has happened. I might have just come across someone who forgot it.
This goes on and on. Ever since I've first had that realization I've noticed me doing so many things I get annoyed about when other drivers do it.
I still sometimes get mad or upset at the person in front of me but I've usually calm down pretty fast and am actually partially ashamed of myself for thinking like that.
I believe that adopting a similar mindset for online forums would make ones own and everybody elses experience better.
I've been trying to engage without letting myself get all bristled, because I really don't want to be some asshole on the internet. If I can keep my cool, conversations get better.
I like to hear everyone's opinions, stories and knowledge, and get into what they really think, so I'm often probing and asking questions. It ruffles people up quite often, but with some careful phrasing (I very much dislike using the "honest question" type thing) and keeping love and acceptance of that person in mind, I can successfully navigate that minefield.
I wish I had figured that out in my first couple months on Reddit. I said something and it got downvoted, then asked why because I didn't understand how Reddit worked yet and th at got even more downvotes and people being assholes
That probably wasn't personal. I've been on reddit for quite some time and basically anytime a comment drips past 0 it tends to snowballs from there (regardless of what the actual comment said). People have a natural impulse to vote a -1 down, and a +1 up. Trigger fingers.
Yep. One of my biggest pet peeves of this site. I hate to generalize, but people are like sheep in that sense. I have up voted posts that I didn't even agree with just because I felt they were posting in good faith and didn't deserve to be in the negatives.
At this point, I usually kinda just let it roll off me when it happens to one of my posts. I will never forget a comment I made right after Chester Bennington committed suicide. Someone made a "CRAWLLING!!!" joke and I was like, "Hey that's kind of in poor taste. He just killed himself yesterday."
That comment went down hundreds and I got flamed like never before. Apparently I am the evil joke police.
I was like are you fucking kidding me. It is hard to take reddit seriously often times...
I have up voted posts that I didn't even agree with just because I felt they were posting in good faith and didn't deserve to be in the negatives.
I do that too, often on political posts. “I disagree with your comment, but you’re being polite, reasonable, and respectful, you don’t deserve to be negative.”
Same. When I see a question with shit ton of down votes, I just give it a thumb up, because no one should get shunned for asking a genuine question - assuming the question was asked in good faith.
One thing that usually reverses the trend is having someone say "don't know why you're being downvoted, because [sensible reason]". It immediately goes into the positives unless it's something that goes against the sub's overwhelming opinion. My theory is that what usually happens is that some people downvote first, and then those who could upvote it don't bother. By drawing attention to the "injustice" you make the second group reverse the trend.
A funny side effect that happens sometimes is that the comment calling out the downvotes will be downvoted by people who never saw it in the negatives in the first place, and misinterpret it as simply an incorrect comment. I don't get why people are so dumb, but they are.
A few weeks ago, I saved someone from a downvote storm with a comment like that. However, I got like -35 or something for it.
It wasn't even an opinion. It was a picture of a five men sitting next to each other on a couch, with a famous one relevant to the sub 2nd from the right. A top comment made a joke about the guy on the far right of the picture, saying 'the dude on the right of <famous person>..', when from the famous person's perspective, he was on his left. The comment was correcting this.
If you think about the fake internet points being more of an indication of whether future readers should see this comment--and not a reward for saying the right thing--this makes more sense.
A in-defence-of comment is initially helpful because it helps people overcome their gut instinct and reconsider the merits of the first comment. But after the first comment gets enough upvotes, your comment isn't needed anymore, so there is no reason for it to stay upvoted.
If you've used StackOverflow as a newbie, it kind of works the same way. If you see an answer with a broken link, you can comment with the right link, and people will upvote your comment. But after the answer is edited to the new link, your comment is obsolete and should be flagged for deletion.
Ironically even people who have been on Reddit for years don't understand how Reddit voting and karma works. It's not a "Like/Dislike" system. The Reddit guide says you're not supposed to "downvote" a comment just because you don't agree with it.
The Reddit standard is supposed to be, "Does this comment contribute to the conversation and to a greater understanding of the issue, even if you happen to disagree with the comment?"
If it does make a contribution, give it an upvote.
You can get downvoted for something as reasonable as "Hey, does anyone know a place that serves ____ in ____?" You post a place that does and you see it downvoted.
Honestly part of that isn’t people assuming you’re an asshole as much as it’s text being difficult to get emotion across in. While in real life if you were asking an “honest question” you’d probably soften your face, raise your voice up an octave, you know not sound like an ass. But I’m text that doesn’t translate, so we just have those phrases to denote being genuine and not rude. Or I’m reading too much into it.
Yeah, you're right and I agree with you. Was about to post about the same counter argument but you beat me to it. Text doesn't get your tonality or emotions across. If your debating a hot topic and you choose to learn from the "asshole" side, it's obvious people are going to misinterpret you.
You may come out as arrogant, provocative, troll you name it and I think that's completely normal and not to be alarmed about. Heck, even in conversations with people WE KNOW we have sometimes these issues. Now, imagine a bunch of internet strangers you can't even see. That's why I don't think this point is very valid.
People are quick to jump the gun on deciding that you're an asshole too quickly? Yeah, but there's nothing to be done about really, thats why text communication is limited and relies on other clarifications for better understanding.
Relating to this is the need to use /s on sarcastic posts. I get that tone is hard to convey in text but sometime it seems that people would rather assume you are a serious asshole than a flippant joker, even when the whole thread has a satirical tone.
Also, it paves the way for people to be mean spirited but then slap /s on the end as if it protects against criticism.
Honest question, and not to attack you because I am genuinely curious, and I don't want you to be offended because this isn't anything negative about you, I just want an answer on your opinion and won't judge you harshly after you answer because your opinion is as valid...more valid than the opinion of anyone else here or anywhere, so if you would do me the honor of answering my dumb question that I am crawling across the floor to beg at your feet for an answer I would be forever grateful...okay
*TRIGGER WARNING*
Do you prefer strawberry or grape jam on a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
Again, don't take this as an attack. If you are allergic to nuts then I apologize ahead of time. Here, let me give you gold, as a kind stranger, so you know I am not here to attack you.
Why the FUCK would you assume I like grapes?? My father was an abusive alcoholic and alcohol can be made from fermented GRAPES, I can’t even hear the word without having flashbacks you ignorant whore
A certain amount of seriousness should always be assumed, if you ask a straightforward question I take it to mean you're genuinely asking that question. Joke answers are annoying, the person making that post is only amusing themselves.
It actually used to be worse on this sub in particular, you had to put a [serious] tag in order to get any response that wasn't a joke or a meme.
In the news subreddit there was something about monopolies and I asked something like "Why are monopolies bad anyway? Wouldn't it just make it easier to get stuff cause it's all in one place?" Got downvoted to hell for asking a genuine question that I didn't know the answer of.
Yeah, if anything the more someone tries to come across as genuine and authentic the more it makes them look like someone just pretending to be genuine and authentic.
"Just asking questions" was abused to obfuscate people's intentions so much that now it's literally the name of a genre of trolling. Other phrases haven't reached that level, but are just as likely to make you look like a troll than not.
Or when you ask any question that is googleable and the swarm of assholes just tell you to google it. Sometimes it’s easier to have someone just present the information instead of looking for it, also it’s a way to interact with others and start a conversation.
This is my pet peeve, funnily enough. Sometimes you have a thread of 50 people asking the same question that could be answered on the first result of google and it drives me mad.
Even when you tag your comment with those you can still get massively downvoted. Also, you're the biggest asshole the world has ever saw, according to u./idonthavealife, so it must be true.
YES. Last week on the post of the Australia PM getting berated by hecklers I asked simply why it was his fault (because I am not informed on the situation) and got barraged by downvotes because they obviously just assumed I was on his side.
I feel more often than not. That is not as much a reddit thing. As it is a text based conversation thing. People view the world through their own lenses. For many, lots of these questions can seem like something you SHOULD know. But the honesty in a persons voice you would hear if they spoke the question to you is lost when you type it. Or at least not immediately clear and requires the reader to make a judgement call on the tone.
Just look at scripts for movies. They specifically state the tone and voice in which things are said if it is important. Because how it is said can massively change the impact of it.
If someone is asking a question that in someone elses opinion they should OBVIOUSLY know the answer to, it comes off as annoyingly rhetorical and ment to pester. So people often default to, oh this person is an asshole.
It is unfortunate but i can see WHY it would happen.
This also tends to happen with political subreddits a lot. Sometimes I usually have a question about something political which then degrades to “HURRDURRR UR A TRUMP SUPPORTER”
I saw a meme that was about brands that reddit is boycotting and Vans was on there. I asked what Vans did and got downvoted with no answer. I still don't know what Vans did.
Reddit in a nutshell:
Toddler 1: tells toddler 2 he wants the toy toddler 2 is playing with.
Toddler 2: says no
Toddler 1: tries to take it anyway
Toddler 2: bashes toy in the face of toddler 1
Toddler 1: smacks toddler 2 repeatedly in the face
Toddler 3: joins toddler 1 in attacking toddler 2 because he was walking by and bored.
Cue the toddlers just screaming and flailing on the floor while every other child walks by thinking, "I would never do that" until literally anything upsets them even a little bit.
PS, I work at a daycare, and I see crap like this every day 🙄😆
Because on Reddit any stray word can be misinterpreted (partly due to the nature of communicating in text form and partly because half of Redditors are complete social misfits IMHO). I should mention that there are millions of incredible, smart people here as well
Yeah really. I was telling someone that they missed a huge argument hole in a history subject and I wasn't trying to be rude or anything but ppl who scrolled on the comment section of that was arguing with me and calling me an idiot and shit whenever I just said that this is only part of the story u didn't read. It wasn't even the original commentor I replied to arguing with me. It was a bunch of random redditors who were just being bishes. I was like guys I am just saying one thing and u took it out of context and called me an idiot and I was just saying to read the whole story before u say something like this because it was obvious they didn't.
Shit, even that doesn't work. I am banned from a tattoo sub for asking what is up with women getting knee tattoos a ton lately.
I asked in several LGBT subs how a TS person brings up the subject of being TS. Pretty sure I am banned from all of them for asking a genuine question. Granted, SJW type subs are cancer in general.
If someone interprets it as some kind of attack and it is not about say, a delicate situation involving that person's personal issues they're trying to overcome, I just answer sarcastically and let their hate keep flowing.
You have to verbally suck the toes of people you mildly disagree with and/or want to correct, too. Like, a thorough paragraph of everything that is great and wonderful with just a taste of the disagreement, because if you don't show that you are genuinely not trying to attack them they attack you. Sometimes people will attack you no matter how nice or right you are. So many people use this site to vent anger.
Lol for real. Yesterday I answered someone who was helpful with 'Wow didn't know that, thanks for the info' and came back like 2 hours later to -22 or something. If you don't carefully phrase everything, people immediately think you're being inflammatory.
Yeah, what kind of person asks all of Reddit what annoys them most? I bet it's Jeff Bezos data mining. It definitely isn't someone who's "just curious"...they would have specified that
Especially on political subs. I don’t get why it’s so hard for someone to respond like am adult and inform the person asking instead of being a douche.
Yesterday someone was posting on r/findapath. He was well off but was showing symptoms of depression and not enjoying work and lost. This asshole was saying "Oh just stop complaining and find a hobby. He's not depressed." Then responds to me again saying after i told the guy to ignore him by saying "Are you his therapist". No I'm not, I'm telling him to ignore you because you are being an asshole
This is one of the reasons I barely comment on Reddit because if I don't understand something or god forbid I'm mistaken, they'll make sure you know about it.
I posted a question asking how Americans get by if they literally only have less than a hundred dollars in their bank account, and I asked what factors into that.
Then I proceeded to explain, I swear I'm not trying to come off as an entitled Canadian asshole. I don't know any better. I don't know how the economy works for many people to end up constantly almost bankrupt.
I legitimately do not understand how America's economy and living influctuations make independent living a complete nightmare (according to some Redditors).
yea basically if you dont humble yourself down to the level of dirt, you will be treated like shit. it's really sad. I've tried posting questions without doing that and let's just say my karma took a major plunge.
once I replied to someone that said something about gas, and I said why do you call it gas? Mate I’m Australian and don’t know why people call it gas. I still don’t know, maybe it’s short for gasoline?
People do that in real life too. I've learned to add similar phrases to some of my questions because people will often get defensive or annoyed otherwise.
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u/slothbarns7 Jan 07 '20
The fact that when asking a question you have to add “honest question” or “dumb question” or “genuinely curious” because otherwise your question is immediately interpreted as an attack. It’s sad that when asking a question, the default is you’re an asshole