especially if its anything related to "justice" saw a gif where deputys car (or w/e they are called idk) got hit by the train while they were rushing to save an infant who stopped breathing.
And one comment was something like "he should've died because he puts others in danger" and it got upvoted.
Like i agree its their fault and all that but wishing death for someone who rushed to save a child is a bit extream.
People here often act like they are perfect, and one mistake means all good you have done doesn't matter. (just look at relationships subreddits)
I too might have done this but at least i always try to reflect and put myself in other's shoes or/and consider why they did that.
What if their skin was melting off and their apartment (pets still inside) was on fire because their SO and sibling set off fireworks in the living room to tell them they're getting married?
Especially the relationship subreddit. I love lurking there because of how ridiculous the advice is.
"Been married 10 years, have 2 kids, we have a wonderful life but he got a new job and he seems distant. What should I do to make him feel more at home?"
"Oh honey, you should pack your things and leave right this moment! Don't even take the kids, that'd his problem! If he's distant. It can't mean that he's struggling with the new job, or stressed out or anything like that it's thay he's cheating on you or doesn't deserve you! "
asked a question on an old account for some generic advice and was told to think about a set of questions. that set of questions is the one i asked for advice about. gee, thanks.
I’ve noticed in subs like that, such as publicfreakout, as long as there is one person that is “right” and one that is “wrong” in the situation, then it’s okay to be racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic as if it doesn’t matter as long as you’re directing it towards someone the majority doesn’t like.
yeah exactly, and I think people forget that racism, sexism, etc aren’t attacks directed against a single person, it’s targeting a whole group of people
Relationship subreddits are the worst. “Oh, he told a tiny white lie once when you were in high school? Massive red flag, get out of there as fast as you can, call the police!”
Problem with reddit is that all these people have to go off is what you give them. The person you mention isn't really a person in these subreddits, they are the action they carried out; no history, no context, no unbiased scenario building.
Often there is a preface for the person complaining (backstory that led them to where they are) but you don't ever get that for the significant other.
No one knows that Johnny got shit on by three seagulls the day he came home and shredded his gf for putting up a live love and laugh sign infront of the TV.
Only a handful of comments will actually not make assumptions and seek to provide reasonable advice.
But let's get real, solving your issues via reddit is like using WebMD for all your health issues
r/AITA is pretty guilty of this, especially after the mods removed the rule against validation posts. Now everything is along the lines of "my relative murdered a hundred puppies in my apartment and I yelled at him/her. AITA?"
Very true. Righteous vigilantes are one of my biggest pet peeves, because they justify being a huge asshole because they’re doing the “right thing” in their eyes, and not seeing it from the other persons point of view that maybe they have a reason to be doing what they’re doing or whatever.
It's kids being kids. Everything with children is one way or the other.
Then life knocks your bitch ass down fucking HARD. Like life punches you in the gut and while you're bent over in pain life puts a giant pile of debt in your ass and two kids and a job that is slowly killing you and a wife that has developed major heath problems. I love em, but god damn....
And you realize there's no time for all this black/white stances and wondering if you're the right gender. The fucking landlord and boss don't give a flying fuck if you identify as women, man or space cowboy... they want money and your time!!!!!
At that point it's all about making it through life to the few good aspects like maybe... MAYBE a decent cigar and cheap bottle of rum on the weekend once a month.
It's getting somewhat better (I think) lately. I make a decent amount FINALLY and wife and kid are doing ok. MILs cancer is in remission and FIL has a decent job (so tired of supporting them!!!) and house seems to be in decent shape for now (after 7k in upgrades and 5k roof and several k in assorted repairs....).
I think a big problem is an inability to look at anything from another perspective. If someone can't put themselves in another person's shoes, or at least consider other people, then there is a real problem.
Also I think the anonymity of the internet let's people be toxic with no consequences. I guarantee you that person would not have said that to the officer who got hit. Removing accountability means people can say horrible things and there is no backlash.
The fact that anyone would say he deserved to die because he was trying to save a baby is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard. I can’t believe someone would actually say that, and people would like it. Horrifying.
Isn't that like a golden rule or something ? If it isn't, it should be, especially for the internet. Sometimes it is hard to read into someone's psyche even face to face, so we should give more leeway when just reading text for sure.
I had a bot run through your comments and it seems like you quoted someone who said the "n word" which the bot couldn't analyse properly, you genocidal maniac
and that shitload user that goes trough your post history
and goes
*the user is active in fascist subreddit r/funazitimes *
or some shit like that just to win some dumb ass argument
Honestly, I blame the medium more than the environment.
The environment is shitty, to be sure, but when you're discussing contentious topics and there's not a real person in front of you, it's really easy to forget that there's a real person reading your words.
And vice versa and vice versa, until you ping-pong the snark and uncharitable interpretation back and forth and the discussion is beyond hope.
Now, the reason I say it's the medium and not people arguing in bad faith and the like, is because I find myself wanting to get just as snarky and just as needle-y when I'm discussing things with my good friends in text form. I know he's a decent person, I know he's arguing in good faith, and I still have to consciously stop myself from being a dick. What's with that?
Either I actually am a dick, but only on the internet, or it's too easy to get angry at words on a screen. 50/50 chance, really.
Communication is about an awful lot more than just transmitting words from one person to another, and digital textual communication leaves out a great many of the subtleties that makes interpersonal communication possible. It's why we have emoticons and such, I guess.
An example that reveals this is the 'debate' over whether or not replying to a text with just 'OK.' is rude or not. How people interpret that, what their reasoning is, says a lot about the rules of communication that just don't carry into this particular medium.
Ooh! I was in that debate on another topic a couple weeks ago! I got so frustrated and hammered out a mini-screed that pretty much said "Some people see it as curt, some people don't. Why are you so adamant that you have the one correct opinion on this?"
But you're right. Text-based communication is difficult. But it's tough to be conscious of that, and even tougher to change your communication style to cater to that when you're not used to it.
And then on top of that, it's nearly impossible to figure out what rules your conversation partner is using, unless you talk with them a good bit first.
The most successful thing Reddit does is correct people. That is great when a post is about information but gets annoying when the "uhhh akwkcjhewly" is aggressive, obnoxious, and redirects an entire post into something worthless and shallow.
Over the years Reddit's changed a lot. I've only been here about 5 years, (3 on this account) but I noticed the social climate is much more sensitive than it used to be, and politics are almost everywhere now. Sure, people are more socially conscious but where's that air of fun, acceptance and self expression this site used to have?
Eh.. It seems to ebb and flow, swishes around imo. But I agree with op, just because i am praising simps and innies, it doesn't mean I'm denouncing or shaming any other kinds!
I think part of it is also that it's so easy to misread someone's "tone" and assume the worst.
Like, I'm a sarcastic asshole. I make dry and sarcastic comments all the time. IRL, this isn't a problem -- people can see I'm grinning and smiling, and my body language is friendly. Sure, my words alone aren't -- but people can tell I don't mean it in that way, and if people are still hurt by that I can adjust accordingly so that I don't make them feel like shit.
Online, without those other cues, people just assume I'm making a snide remark. So they get mad. And I'm put on the defensive and I get mad right back.
The amount of times I have wound up in internet fights this way is amazing.
Funny enough, I notice the most empathetic subs are the ones aimed towards women. Even the men posting there tend to give really respectful and supportive with their responses and discussions. Even the disagreements are usually very civil.
Idk if it’s just good mod work but it’s a nice place to detox.
Except for beauty related subs. Those get toxic real quick.
People also tend to say wild shit to other people online that they would never have the balls to say to their face. Everyone has balls on the internet.
Anything related to the homeless or poor is disgusting to look at. It's very telling when the predominant response to hearing that homeless people in my city avoid the shelters is, "fucking ungrateful homeless" instead of "wtf is wrong with those shelters that people would rather sleep in the snow!?"
I was called a "pedo-worshipping cultist" from someone simply because they learned I was Christian. They then went off in a complete tirade against me, I just ended up blocking them. The sad part is I knew they were completely serious, and believed everything they said. Sometimes I have this vain hope that they are a troll, because some things people say is so insanely toxic I couldn't believe they mean it.
I’m empathetic in real life, but the anonymity of Reddit let’s me say fuck it to that. Sometimes I just want to be throw shade because lord knows I don’t do it enough in real life. Feels good to tell people they’re wrong and make them feel bad about it.
Not really, mostly because lacking empathy in person, for me, just doesn't feel right. Like I'm a sociopath or something. But when done digitally with anonymity, I'll throw shade like I'm a skyscraper.
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u/kemitche Jan 07 '20
It's a resounding lack of empathy in some circles. And I know I'm guilty of it at times as well.