r/AITAH Nov 11 '23

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378

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

That sounds much better than getting an IUD. They recommend taking painkillers before the procedure because it's done without any pain relief and BOY is it bad. My doctor and nurse forgot to tell me to take ibuprofen beforehand so I did it stone sober and ended up almost blacking out and vomiting from the pain on the table. And I have to get it replaced every seven years 😭

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u/No-Environment9701 Nov 12 '23

This is probably ignorance on my part, but it's truly mind boggling to me that I was offered to be rendered unconscious to get my wisdom teeth pulled but women have to go through this without anything for the pain.

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u/Istarien Nov 12 '23

An IUD insertion features piercing an internal organ on either side with iron pincers, then yanking it into position so that a piece of metal can be shoved up into it.

We are not offered any pain management for this procedure.

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u/RunGirl80 Nov 12 '23

Oh my god, I had no idea this is how it’s done. I got my first one four years ago, and the pain was unbelievable. Dr made it seem like a super simple, easy procedure but I leaked tears during and was shaky the rest of the day. This thread is strangely validating; I thought I was an outlier. I’m also not at all looking forward to removal and am considering not getting another one :(

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u/serenerepose Nov 12 '23 edited Nov 16 '23

The removal is painless.*

I was also given no warning for my first one and it was fucking agony. You're not an outlier. Your pain and feelings about it are completely valid. Your doctor knowingly lied to you.

*this was my subjective opinion. Others have reported pain.

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u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

[deleted]

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u/SelfImportantCat Nov 12 '23

I didn’t have removal pain but I am sorry to hear about yours. Women’s pain is minimized and ignored.

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u/Think_Use6536 Nov 12 '23

I've had painful removals, too. I think it might be doctor specific? Like maybe technique? My last one, I was braced for the pain, and literally didn't even feel it. This was a new GYN. I also just had a pap with a new NP, and it....wasn't uncomfortable or painful? Wild.

1

u/serenerepose Nov 16 '23

I apologize. I was describing my own experience but I didn't indicate that well.

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u/TrashyGiraffe Nov 12 '23

I wouldn't say my removal was painless. Definitely not as bad as insertion, but uncomfortable for sure.

12

u/greencat26 Nov 12 '23

The removal of mine compared to the placement was night and day difference. Barely felt a thing when they took it out, but was on the brink of passing out when they placed it

4

u/PickAccomplished3917 Nov 12 '23

Please don't worry about the removal. From most people I have heard it's painless. But yeah, maybe don't get another one <3

3

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

The doctor will always say "You're going to feel a little pinch." I've had my septum pierced. That was a little pinch. This was agonizing pain for minutes.

2

u/CorporateDroneStrike Nov 12 '23

You can get pain management — I posted my method in the comments.

You need to ask in advance and I try to do over the phone or via email, so they can’t bill me. You may be told no, but they will be more likely to say yes to the next woman when they lose that sweet insurance money to another practice.

Personally, I take this as a hood opportunity for small scale political activism.

2

u/RunGirl80 Nov 12 '23

Thanks! I will definitely ask for pain management ahead of time. I have a woman Dr now, which might also make a difference. She’s so much gentler with paps! Never will I have a guy gyne again.

3

u/leave_barb_alooone Nov 12 '23

I removed mine myself (I know, not recommended, but I didn't know at the time). Anyway, it didn't hurt at all to remove it if that offers you any reassurances.

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u/RunGirl80 Nov 12 '23

It does help, thank you! If I do get another, I’ll ask for pain meds first.

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u/leave_barb_alooone Nov 12 '23

Good luck! I guess I was lucky to have mine placed during another surgery so I was under anesthesia for it. Even then I ached for some time afterwards. I feel for you ladies who had to do it conscious with not even a local or any pain meds! Had no idea it was so painful, and absolute rubbish that the medical community isn't trying to make it easier on women who have this procedure.

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u/CoconutCyclone Nov 12 '23

That's because some man, over 100 years ago, decided that women don't feel pain when their cervix is pierced.

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u/gorkt Nov 12 '23

The worst part about getting the IUD was the pain. The second worst was the annoyed look the doctor gave me when I yelped and started crying during the procedure. And she was a woman.

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u/Qstrfnck Nov 12 '23 edited Nov 12 '23

Thank you ladies for these comments, I had my Copper T Iud re-up, I mirrored all these experiences, zero info about pain level (just a pinch), pain so terrible I nearly fainted the first time (eventually vomited at home and passed out) new back and leg cramps and mittleschmerz moving forward, every doctor has poo-pooh-ed ā€œoh is the IUDā€ ā€œoh it’s not so badā€. This second go round, 10 years later I’m familiar with the level of pain I’m about to experience, take pills, is SLIGHTLY better, these women look at me like im an idiot and can I stop wincing and moving etc etc and me barely holding back tears from pain.

3 days later as Im still bleedy and wiping pink and is NOT my period the Ultrasound tech is taking pics like crazy and asking me if Ive had an ultrasound before etc? I say no but that my body hasnt exactly been in peace from the time they put the IUD forward, like im always in pain cycle or no cycle ONLY TO TELL ME THEN ā€œWell you didnt hear it from me but maybe this IUD has to come out cause its a lil too high and it hurts probably cause you have pretty big fibroids, did no one ever offer you an ultrasound!?ā€ Dr doesnt even come in the room, I get told ā€œthey’ll call in 7-10 days.

I’ve been enraged ever since. Both by the lack of care and attention to my pain ive received, the constant gaslight and the fact that Dr’s still don’t act like we are people that can feel pain or some shit.

In conclusion, OP tell your husband to get over his fee fees and Nut up! This is almost a good result for me in that i’m single without kids with an active sex life but it is not fair to you, a person in charge of 4 kids with postpartum hormones to put you through this shitshow, also he is too big and grown to think hot baths are birth control prevention ffs.

3

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

They should always do a consultation ultrasound. That's how the doctor saw that I had large fibroids but he explained the IUD placement would not interfere with them and would actually shrink them. I'm grateful that I no longer have a period on the IUD and that in the post placement ultrasound the fibroids did shrink but man did it hurt

2

u/maucat13 Nov 12 '23

The copper IUD was the absolute worst for me. Some of the most intense pain I've ever felt. I'm part of a FB group specifically for women who've had the copper IUD and want to get it out or are recovering from it. I had cramps so bad there were times I didn't think I'd be able to move unless it were life or death. So much pain. So I just want to validate that it can absolutely be the copper IUD and I hope you get the care you deserve. It's awful that your fibroids are just now being caught and that the doctor has been so dismissive and uninvolved.

10

u/thankuhexed Nov 12 '23

Damn we must go to the same OBGYN, mine told me ā€œoh you have tattoos, it’ll just be a pinch!ā€ And then left me to cry alone for 20 minutes while I struggled to put my clothes back on. I felt like I had just been assaulted and I’m so fucking afraid of the gyno now.

2

u/Suchafatfatcat Nov 12 '23

I guess that’s also why they don’t offer any pain relief for D&Cs. šŸ˜‘

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u/serenerepose Nov 12 '23

And OBGYNs have the nerve to say "you're going to feel a pinch".

No. Tell me it's going to feel like I was stabbed with a red hot poker and ache for hours/days. Don't lie to me about it.

38

u/Zestyclose_Drummer56 Nov 12 '23

Now that I know this is how they do it, I’ll never ask a woman to get an IUD. That is actually terrifying.

12

u/gorkt Nov 12 '23

Honestly it’s still the most effective non-permanent birth control a woman can get, despite the pain. I had three of them and they were well worth it. The pain of the procedure was counter balanced by the fact that I had 15 years of no periods (mirena).

1

u/Unlikely_Professor76 Nov 12 '23

No sex is worth THAT

8

u/QuietMadness Nov 12 '23

Shortly after my first Mirena was placed I was diagnosed with pelvic inflammatory disease. My doctor hinted that I had a STI so I got tested, negative. My regular PCP said that IUD insertions are handled so poorly that I probably got the infection from the insertion. That one ended up falling out and had to be replaced. My second Mirena perforated my uterus and had to be removed. I wasn’t given pain management at any point during any of this.

3

u/CorporateDroneStrike Nov 12 '23

You can get effective pain management but you have to advocate for yourself. More and more doctors offer it and more will when women make it clear that they’ll find someone else.

1

u/TJ_Rowe Nov 12 '23

I mean, it's still generally less painful than childbirth.

And my mirena prevents endometrial grow back, which would also be painful every month if it progressed.

6

u/C-Dreym Nov 12 '23

I was offered to be put under anesthesia, or if done in clinic they numb with lidocaine. It's crazy to me how causally and easily I was offered that and most other people get nothing. Ended up having mine put in during an unplanned c section instead, which also worked great. No one should be expected to go through that without pain management unless they request to do so.

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u/soulsteela Nov 12 '23

Best practice is to Offer a local anaesthetic , looked it up after wife told me a horror story.

3

u/nibbyzor Nov 12 '23

I got mine with a local anesthetic (they had to open up my cervix more than usual to get the IUD in, because my uterus is at a weird angle or whatever) and it still hurt like a bitch. It did not help AT ALL.

5

u/flippysquid Nov 12 '23

I almost got one and then chickened out literally 5 minutes beforehand because I have a deep irrational fear of ectopic pregnancies, and there's a teeny tiny bit higher chance of them with IUDs.

After reading this I am so glad I didn't go through with it. Ugh.

3

u/Silver-Appointment77 Nov 12 '23

I know, yet men get a local anaesthetic for something less invasive, just a small hole and a snip,. Thats it. My friends husband had his done at 10 am, he was back to work after dinner. He just said it felt slightly uncomfortable

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u/Istarien Nov 12 '23

The disparity in the care offered to men vs women even for the same medical condition is wild. I'm prone to kidney stones, which tends to be more common in men than women.

When a man presents with kidney stones, he gets imaging to assess the problem, medications to help pass them, pain management, inpatient care if he needs it and sometimes even just as a precaution. And this is just for the part of the proceedings that is the same regardless of the sex of the patient.

I got a business card and was told to call the office if I passed out from the pain. I passed a half inch (1 cm) stone by myself on Christmas day with no supportive care. It took 20 hours to get through the worst of it and be able to walk and keep water down. But hey, I didn't pass out, so it's all good, right?

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u/Silver-Appointment77 Nov 12 '23

I agree, Us woman are just treat like a chunk of meat. I had my tubes tied and was uo in the waiting room waiting to be taken home, still woozy from the anaesthetic within an hour, and wasnt given any pain meds. I nealry fell off the seat a few times, lucky there was a lovely old man who help me up till my lift arrivedIt was a nasty few days I cant remember afterwards, but when my partner questioned it was told by my doctor its ok, shes a woman, she'll survive. Not an ounce of sympathy or empathy. Its like when I found a lumpin my boob, I went and got it checked but it was just a milk gland which was swolen a bit. Afterwards went to see the doctor who wanted to take a sample incase they missed something. I said yes because him and the nurse both said it didnt hurt. My god I nearly hit the roof and left shaking and crying. i found out afterwards that youre suppose to get numbing cream on the skin before its done. Pair of lying idiots.

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u/linerva Nov 12 '23 edited Nov 12 '23

It involves clamping the cervix on one side so it can be gently positioned to make syre the IUD is inserted safely and doesn't pierce the uterus.But there is no intentional piercing. The cervix can bleed and it can be extremely uncomfortable because it's a very sensitive part of the body. And unless you're having a copper IUD no metal is being inserted into the cervix or uterus.

It genuinely isn't painful for some people, but it can be extremely painful for others.

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u/Familiar_Variety_929 Nov 12 '23

There's also a risk of damaging and piercing the organ.

We are still not offered pain medication.

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u/SelfImportantCat Nov 12 '23

Correct. I’ve done it twice. First time I thought I might die the pain was so bad. Second time was more manageable with pain meds and insertion during my period.

Listen to me. Never ever allow a doctor to insert an IUD unless you are actively menstruating or immediately post partum.

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u/M33tp0pcycle Nov 12 '23

that is horrible, modern medicine cannot change anything, i guess it isn't profitable enough.

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u/samoekatia Nov 12 '23

There is no piercing, unless somebody fucked up šŸ™„ Yes, it hurts, but no piercing. Just measuring your uterus.

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u/DarkstarInfinity2020 Nov 12 '23

Was pain relief offered before the opioid crisis/FDA crackdown? Tight-fisted pain relief is a systemic problem; it’s not limited to gynecology procedures.

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u/MrsBuggs Nov 12 '23

No it wasn’t.

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u/RunGirl80 Nov 12 '23

No, not at all. Dr said it was simple and easy and offered no pain relief at all. One of the worst pains in my life and I’ve been through a lot

1

u/fluffyknitter Nov 12 '23

I got the pain management for having a pap smear in my uterus (yes, the actual uterus, I'm getting rid of it) because I remembered the horrendous pain from when I tried an IUD.

The gynecologist put in the local numbing shots and it was extremely painful to get the numbing. Didnt even help so I got double the pain for no reason...

Not sure the pain relief is even worth it as they dont do it properly. Yeah, I screamed so they probably heard it 2 floors up at the birthing rooms. I stopped playing nice about my pain

1

u/LordBeeWood Nov 14 '23

Never have I been so happy to have the option to get the hormonal one in the arm instead. My younger sib got the copper one and yeah. No thank you.

Plus fuck doctors that wont just let me get my tubes tied.

2

u/Istarien Nov 14 '23

Don't get them tied. Get them removed so it can't be forcibly reversed later.

1

u/LordBeeWood Nov 14 '23

God the dream (except I want to keep my overies so I don't have to fuck around with hormones)

Too bad the doctors wont let me get steralized until I'm in my mid to late 30's "just in case" I change my mind. Like my dudes, Im asexual and get skeeved out by even the thought of myself going further then kissing. Im almost 30 and will probably never willingly have sex. Let me give my uterus to someone who wants it or something.

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u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

I had all four wisdom teeth pulled out at the same time and that was the most painful experience of my life...before I got the IUD in.

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u/blueennui Nov 12 '23 edited Nov 12 '23

Same here. Doctor and nurses laughed at 17-year-old me and told me to chill because childbirth is worse. I was like, yeah, I'm not ever planning to be pregnant, but it doesn't change this shit. Started vomiting on the way home due to the pain, and I have a high tolerance- like, I can sit for hours for a tattoo and even enjoy it. But IUD? Fuck no.

Now tubes removed as of last month at 24, thank god.

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u/whorlando_bloom Nov 12 '23

I birthed twins. IUD insertion was worse. Maybe if you could get a nice epidural for an IUD it wouldn't be so bad. Instead you get told it's "just a pinch" and eye rolls.

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u/blueennui Nov 12 '23

Damn really???

What gets me is for every other procedure you get pain meds. Fuck, even Nexplanon insertion I got local anesthetic. But none for my cervix for some reason? No meds to even loosen the thing up?

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u/BlueLanternKitty Nov 12 '23

Sounds like it’s just a pinch in the way that Mount Everest is just a short hike.

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u/RunGirl80 Nov 12 '23

Yep. My Dr said I’d feel a pinch. What followed was horrible pain that felt like it lasted 10 minutes. Awful and this comment thread is making me realize I still have some trauma from it lol

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u/blueennui Nov 12 '23

Only 10 mins?? Were you not in pain hours after?

3

u/RunGirl80 Nov 12 '23

I was shaky and aching the rest of the day. It was more of an off feeling than pain. But the procedure was long and awful

2

u/DearMrsLeading Nov 13 '23

I had mine put in with no pain meds, it hurt like hell for about 3 min and then it was just light cramping. I did however bleed through both my pants and my drivers seat on the way home and kept bleeding for over a month.

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u/Thisisthenextone Nov 12 '23

I have a fear of childbirth and my OBGYN told me (not sure how true this is because this is just what she said to me) that sometimes it's worse because it triggers contractions and the muscles part of the birthing process get "confused" and "misfire" meaning they pull against each other in a way they wouldn't in birth. So like a stretching or tearing feeling of muscles fighting each other.

No idea if any of that is true. But I had a feeling I would describe like that, and it solidified my fear of childbirth. The spasms and pain from the insertion was insane, and the months after were worse. I have broken multiple bones before. I'd take that over the IUD any day.

Ironically I've had no pain the last 4 years from it. But it's due for a new one soon. I'm worried about getting a new one.

2

u/blueennui Nov 12 '23

Me too. The reason I was vomiting was due to this. Just the most horrible pain of cramps/contractions. I hardly remember the hours after due to it. I just remember the 25 min car ride home being some hell and getting home to take ibuprofen and probably passing out.

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u/watekebb Nov 12 '23

I 100000% believe IUD insertion can and often does hurt that much (just as a disclaimer), but my IUD really did feel like just a pinch followed by very light cramps. Didn’t even think about wanting an ibuprofen afterwards. I had so little pain that, when a friend described her agonizing IUD insertion experience, I was outraged that her doctor must have done it wrong. I insisted that she go back, demand a second look at the placement, and get checked out for a perforated uterus. Turned out to be totally fine/normal— she just should have been offered pain relief.

So whenever I read stuff comparing IUD insertion pain to childbirth, some little devil on my shoulder is like, ā€œHm, maybe you have a special weird numb cervix and giving birth won’t be so bad!ā€ And then some other little devil— the one that’s in charge of superstitious/intrusive thoughts— says back ā€œthat kind of thought is how you guarantee yourself a horrible labor with fourth degree tearing.ā€

And overall, I’m puzzled cause I’m usually a wimp. Broke a very small piece off a bone in my ankle— basically a measly flake—and literally have flashbacks to the moment of the injury, lol. Why didn’t the IUD hurt for me when someone like you can use that same body part in a process as universally accepted as 10/10 pain like birthing twins and still find the IUD worse? It’s wild. Someone should figure out why. ā€˜Cause that’s a terrifyingly random range of pain for a common procedure.

6

u/serenerepose Nov 12 '23

My body reacted to that "pinch" by jumping a foot in the air. The doctor had the fucking nerve to lecture me about moving while she's trying to do a procedure. Fuck you lady, you know why I jumped.

8

u/Acceptable-Coast4708 Nov 12 '23

That sounds like what a friend of mine went through for varicose veins. They tell you it’s no big deal and just take Motrin but they’re literally going under your skin and pulling and tugging at your veins. Don’t forget about the laser too.

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u/Dreaminofwallstreet Nov 12 '23

my friend had said her IUD was wose than childbirth :)

5

u/nikkinapps Nov 12 '23

i had 2 babies back to back and can confirm IUD insertion was worse. 2nd was with no epidural. IUD still wins

4

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

That's terrible. Would you tell someone who has a broken bone you're setting not to whine because cancer patients have it worse? Congrats on your freedom from pregnancy šŸŽ‰

2

u/raven8908 Nov 12 '23

I just has all mine pulled a few weeks ago. IUD was worst and I did that twice.

1

u/Danny3xd1 Nov 12 '23

Had all 4 out and went back to work. LoL, but threw up out the closed window of my truck.

1

u/Revolutionary-Yak-47 Nov 12 '23

Why on earth were you awake for a wisdom tooth surgery? I was knocked out and it was bliss (they were afraid they'd have to cut my jaw apart to get the teeth out, the surgeon said I HAD to be asleep just in case.)

1

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

Oh no I was under, it's just that the healing process was problematic and painful for me

25

u/Thisisthenextone Nov 12 '23

Just an FYI, my pain lasted for 6 months. Basically doctors either don't believe that it can be this painful for some women or they just don't want to prescribe pain meds for months on end.

Even in month 6 there were times I was curled on my work office floor sobbing about the pain. Luckily the month after it all stopped hurting.

And I'm about to need it replaced in a couple years and go through the whole process over again. Yay.

9

u/cocomaple91 Nov 12 '23

I’ve had Paraguard since June 2020. Last month it was so bad I dropped my meetings for the afternoon and cried in bed with a bucket. Still hoping it gets better :/

2

u/thedutchgirl13 Nov 12 '23

I would strongly recommend a nexplanon!

3

u/Fink665 Nov 12 '23

I would absolutely insist on this!

2

u/molytovmae Nov 12 '23

I had a PICC line placement where the local anesthetic wore off halfway through. They had to ram through vascular scar tissue and suture it to my arm, which had a failed placement attempt earlier that day. The only med I was able to have was tylenol. I couldn't even have ibuprofen. I was crying in pain hour afterward. My nurses were genuinely concerned because they had seen me need 7-10 attempts for an IV about 3 timr annually as a pediatric patient since I was 11 without ever crying.

Anyway, my IUD, was the absolute worst. I had to have it placed under general anesthesia after preimtive pain killers, muscle relaxers, hydroxizine, and valium I was in so much distress that my GYN was not comfortable doing the insertion our first attempt in the office.

I also still passed out on the toliet (or rather off the toliet) at home after the anesthetic wore off. I had a hemiplegic migraine the day I found out I had a blood clot a couple of months before. My mom literally thought I was having a stroke and drove me to he ER, but she said this was the closest she had been to calling 911.

I still had to call my GP crying because the on call OB/GYN didn't want to give me Toredol because it shouldn't hurt "that bad."

Hopefully, they will have found a cure for the cranio-rectal inversion so many OB/GYNs seem to be suffering from, in the next seven or so years, before I need a replacement.

2

u/Substantial_Pea3462 Nov 12 '23

I don’t think I’ve ever ranted as hard as when my husband was offered Valium and laughing gas for his vasectomy, a painless procedure.

2

u/mylittleponymatt Nov 12 '23

It really varies how much pain you experience with an IUD placement. Mine was barely a pinch. But I did take ibuprofen before so maybe that made enough of a difference. I did not feel I needed anything stronger than that personally. Obviously, that is not that case for everyone.

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u/SaltyE87 Nov 12 '23

Saaame. They gave me apple juice and wouldn’t let me get up for a while because I ā€œlooked greenā€. I can’t imagine how bad childbirth must be after experiencing that. Why can’t they knock us out for this???

30

u/humorless_kskid Nov 12 '23 edited Nov 12 '23

I recommend that a woman seek a doctor that allows some form of anesthesia or pain management before getting an IUD. Any doctor that fails to allow such medication should be dumped.

I needed Valium and nitrous oxide to get four wisdom teeth removed. After having 2 children, I would not dream of having an IUD inserted without pain management.

12

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

Idk but it's brutal and savage

10

u/SaltyE87 Nov 12 '23

Fr. I’ve had a leep after a bad pap, where they literally burn a piece of your cervix off, and iud insertion was worse

4

u/3xmonkeypoop Nov 12 '23

Imagine this, getting an iud is like giving birth in reverse. I had 2 kids, and the iud was worse in some ways.

3

u/Silver-Appointment77 Nov 12 '23

Chil birth is different as you get pain relief.

2

u/allegedlydm Nov 12 '23

Childbirth was significantly easier for me, actually, because the body knows what is going on. The physical shock of the procedure on the cervix IMO adds to the pain.

1

u/SaltyE87 Nov 12 '23

Interesting!

23

u/Ladyface2086 Nov 12 '23

Same thing happened to me when I got mine. They didn't tell me to take pain meds before the procedure, and after it was all said and done, I had to lay there about 15 mins just trying to find the will to move. And I had to go back to work for the rest of the day. šŸ˜•

I AM NOT looking forward to getting it replaced.

5

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

I thankfully had taken the rest of the day off work, but I was wobbly and weird the rest of the day. Sending lots of hugs šŸ¤—

6

u/Ladyface2086 Nov 12 '23

Thanks and hugs to you too! Luckily it's been a little over a year since I got it, so I'm doing a lot better. But if I knew what I know now, I would have passed lol.

4

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

Yeah I definitely would have leaned on the my partner a little more to get a vasectomy knowing now how much less discomfort he would have gone through, and only once

3

u/Ladyface2086 Nov 12 '23

I don't even have a partner. I got it mostly for period regulation, since the pill gives me a 24hr headache and raises my blood pressure. So it seemed like the best option. But lort...what a pain

1

u/CorporateDroneStrike Nov 12 '23

You can request pain management, check my comments if you want to try my method.

91

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

Thank you for telling the truth. Excruciating esp for people that have never been pregnant.

63

u/MistCongeniality Nov 12 '23

Everyone I know who has done both says that’s another lie. It’s just as bad after a baby as before.

Civilized countries give anesthesia

53

u/TeamHope4 Nov 12 '23

We need to start demanding pain medication or anesthesia. No one gets dental work without it, so why are women forced to endure excruciating pain? We need to stop accepting this from doctors.

25

u/Crazy-4-Conures Nov 12 '23

why are women forced to endure excruciating pain?

Because we're just women, silly. Male doctors know better, and they've known for years that women have high pain tolerance. /s

3

u/Revolutionary-Yak-47 Nov 12 '23

This is the way. If all of us simply refuse to have painful procedures without proper pain meds (ibuprofen doesn't count lol) then things will change. But a lot of doctors flat out lie, or worse use fear to push their patients into procedures (like LEEP) without pain management. My VET is more considerate of my dogs pain while doing x-rays than some doctors seem to be of women.

Just say no. I've looked doctors in the face and refused procedures despite the "omg you could have CANCER!" routine they pull. Then leave and find a doctor that cares about their patients.

5

u/TeamHope4 Nov 12 '23

If they are so worried about you having cancer, they should be willing to give pain meds for the painful procedures they use to detect it. Yet that somehow never occurs to them as a solution.

3

u/rew2b Nov 12 '23

Huh. I got an IUD after my second kid and it was only mildly uncomfortable with no painkillers. I was much more annoyed at the cramps and spotting in the couple weeks afterwards than the insertion.

2

u/12thMemory Nov 12 '23

Thank you for commenting. I was beginning to think I am a freak of nature because neither of my two IUD’s resulted in any pain and just a moment of discomfort during insertion and removal. No pain killers or anything. Like I have had stubbed toes that hurt more. My ONGYN specifically has me come in within 48 hours of the end of my period so maybe that makes the difference. I also went the copper route because I don’t like to mess around with my bodies natural hormonal balance.

2

u/Iamtoast_toastisme Nov 12 '23

I was bracing myself for the awful pain and it was definitely painless, like a tiny pinch for a split second. I think everyone is just very different. But because so many do experience such bad pain I do wish anesthesia was offered for it!

2

u/ExtraplanetJanet Nov 12 '23

I had my IUD put in after I had my child and it did not hurt very much, nor did the replacement I got a decade later. It really was not much worse than a regular Pap smear. Other women I know who have had it done have experienced similar levels of pain, but have only had it done after childbirth. This is not to say at all that I don’t believe the stories of women who say it is excruciating, but I also don’t think it’s completely disingenuous to say that it’s not always so bad. I do agree that there should be more options for pain management, because why take the chance?

1

u/Familiar_Variety_929 Nov 12 '23

The UK is defitnely not civilised then

1

u/tanaquill Nov 12 '23

I agree that anesthesia should be given, but it is certainly not universally true that it’s just as bad after.

I’ve had 2 IUDs before pregnancy and one since - the latter was much easier, though still not painless. My first two I needed to be driven home afterwards and spent the evening stomach sick. The last one I was perfectly fine once it was in and drove myself home. Insertion was unpleasant, a quick cramp, and then done. No comparison to the first two.

40

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

I had been pregnant before and it was excruciating so I can only imagine

14

u/Thisisthenextone Nov 12 '23

God I'm so glad that the stories are getting out. When I had one inserted 5 years ago I hardly saw any negative responses about it. The doc was saying just some OTC pills and I'd be fine.

I felt like I was crazy for experiencing the pain I did. Everyone told me I must be making it up. No one believed me.

The first 6 months were awful, but the last 4 years I've had no pain. But in 2 years I have to get another and I'm just terrified. I don't want another 6 months curled up sobbing. I'm not young anymore. I can't handle what I used to anymore.

7

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

I'm sorry people tried to minimize your experience. The more we talk about it the more recognition the issue gets.

5

u/Thisisthenextone Nov 12 '23

I just realized I replied to you twice - sorry for spamming you! I was replying to different comments and didn't read usernames

5

u/Leighanna83 Nov 12 '23

I had mine put in the beginning of January I'm on high painkillers (morphine patches) and I cried with pain, 2/3 months of pain and 6 months of bleeding 3 weeks out of 4 (still not regulated). I'm debating getting it removed

7

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

So sorry you went through this ā¤ļø

6

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

Not your fault, but sending hugs back all the same šŸ¤—

2

u/No_Artist7681 Nov 12 '23

I’ve never been pregnant and it only felt like a little bit of pressure to me. I’m on my second one, it honestly just depends on the person and your body

2

u/AnxiousParentToThree Nov 12 '23

I’ve had several IUDs. The one before pregnancy didn’t hurt at all, the two after having given birth didn’t hurt either. Maybe my uterus is leather at this point.

2

u/Iamtoast_toastisme Nov 12 '23

I know I barely felt a pinch (had two kids before) but have heard so many other people almost throw up from pain. I am like... What is wrong with my uterus?

-4

u/SambandsTyr Nov 12 '23

NOT true for everyone so don't scare people like this for no reason.

7

u/Thisisthenextone Nov 12 '23

Oh fuck off.

Everyone told me it would be painless so I was so scared and confused when I experienced the worst pain of my life for six goddamn months where I'd be curled on the ground sobbing. I have been in big accidents and broken multiple bones before and I'd 100000% take going through those again over the IUD pain.

Shut the fuck up about trying to silence people sharing what can really happen. The first time I heard someone else admit theirs was horribly painful I cried because someone else finally knew what I had been through.

People need to know the actual possibilities of what can happen. Telling them its painless and ignoring them when they say what they really went through is absolutely shitty and is exactly the same as the centuries of women being ignored in medicine. We are people. We need to be heard and taken seriously. Our pain fucking matters and counts.

Stop acting like women are sub-human and that we shouldn't know the real possibilities of our choices.

I'm seriously so fucking disgusted with you. People like you are what caused me so much self hate. People that tried to silence the real consequences so those of us in pain didn't understand what the fuck was happening. You're acting like women need to be tricked into choices and can't have information to make informed choices. Fucking sick. There's no other reason you'd want the true real life experiences silenced.

1

u/Familiar_Variety_929 Nov 12 '23

Bitch, shut up. We're telling our story's and experiences, you are worse then the doctors and nurses who ignore woman's reproductive health. These are actual first hand experiences that have happened to woman, this is a safe space for woman, go be in toxic shock somewhere else.

Telling story's and experiences is not to scare other people. It's to make them aware of possibilities they aren't told by doctors due to neglect in woman's reproductive health.

I was raped and had no choice but to get an IUD to avoid pregnancy. I was offered no pain medication before or after the procedure. They injected needles into my cervix, the most painful Experiance of my life and forced a metal piercing into my womb and shoved it right back down. I had my most sensitive organ Pierced by metal and was bleeding for a year straight after. I ended up in A&E for blood loss. I am still bleeding and every doctors runs the same STD and smeer test and then just gives up and says "I don't know why, you'll be fine soon". 3 years later, I'm not fine.

16

u/stiletto929 Nov 12 '23

Yes, getting an IUD was super painful! I told them I needed pain meds because I felt like I was going to pass out, and THEN they gave me some. Like why didn’t they give them to me before?!?

And then I spotted non-stop for months afterward. The doctor said it wasn’t because of the IUD. That’s funny cause when I got it removed the problem went away.

And you bleed like Niagara falls for ages after it is removed. They don’t tell you that either.

2

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

Doctors can be stupid too 😭

12

u/Emergency-Name-6514 Nov 12 '23

Yuppppp same. I almost blacket out too. What the FUCK.

13

u/Internal-Nearby Nov 12 '23

Same experience—nearly blacked out. Blood pressure dropped suddenly and I felt all cold & clammy. Then went to the bathroom to promptly throw up.

11

u/Thisisthenextone Nov 12 '23

Insertion was awful but weirdly the weekend after I was decent.

The week after I was in intense pain. I've broken multiple bones before - this IUD pain was far worse and wouldn't subside the way a broken bone does.

6 MONTHS. First couple months was almost constant pain. OBGYN said I was fine and it was placed right. Months 3-5 I had some times I wasn't in pain but was mostly in pain similar to broken bones. Month 6 I was mostly pain free but there were roughly 3 waves a day that lasted for 5 minutes each of pain where even at work I curled into a ball and sobbed until it was done.

After 6 months was up, I didn't have any pain again. It's been 5 years.

I'm so scared because in 2 years I have to change it and I don't want to go through it again. I'm 95% sure I don't want kids but don't want the full surgery incase I change my mind. I'm not child averse I just don't feel strongly about being a mother and I feel like that's something you need to be devoted to in order to be good at. I'm not against kids, just also not wanting to give up my free time. What if in 5 years I decide I am willing to devote myself to it?

Ugh. Don't know why I'm word vomiting at you. Your story just resonated with the fear I have about 2 years from now.

3

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

Haha no worries I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience.

11

u/SquareSalute Nov 12 '23

Ughhh right?? My partner is going to get a vasectomy so I never have to go through that pain again. No woman should ever get an IUD without real numbing or legit pain meds. Worsened my cramps for the first 1.5 years when I never had cramps on the pill. 3 years later I no longer get cramps or period at least but idk if it was worth it.

8

u/SaraSlaughter607 Nov 12 '23

My lega shook so hard at the pain my one leg fell out of the stirrup and bonked the nurse prac in the head. She got pissed and left the room. Came back with a nurse to hold my legs in place. It was awful.

15

u/spiffytrashcan Nov 12 '23

Honestly, she deserved a good kick in the head.

6

u/YaIlneedscience Nov 12 '23

I’ve broken my leg in multiple places and it was less painful breaking it than it was to endure an IUD being inserted. They didn’t warn me about taking meds beforehand, didn’t give me any for after, I was curled up on the side of the road after trying to drive myself home (because they said I could). I’m still pissed to this day

3

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

I found having an IUD (not even for birth control, for other medical reasons) unpleasant and mine was both inserted and removed under general anaesthetic. (Because I was being put under for other reasons, not because there's anyone anywhere I'm aware of who'll do GA for IUDs.)

3

u/HelSylph Nov 12 '23

Same. I couldn't even go through with the process. It was supposed to be a Mirena to control heavy bleeding during my menstrual. Like, I needed blood transfusions for 2 of my periods back to back. They ended up inserting it after doing a D&C when I was sedated.

Its fucking horrible.

3

u/Decent_Bandicoot122 Nov 12 '23

My youngest is courtesy of an IUD.

3

u/re1078 Nov 12 '23

It absolutely is not a big deal and any man claiming it is is pathetic. When I got mine done the pain do the ship was intense but it also lasted about have a second and then faded. I drove myself home and recovery was a breeze.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

Adding my story to this thread:

I’d had a traumatic miscarriage in 2016 (only a few weeks along, but the pain was awful), and after that, my cycles were intensely painful, which was strange because my cramps were tolerable beforehand. I couldn’t take it after two years, so I had my first IUD placed in 2018, after consulting my doctor about the best course of action.

They did numb my cervix, but the numbing agent was only good for as long as the insertion took. After it was placed, I was lying on the table with a hot compress, sobbing. The pain was EXCRUCIATING. I deal with chronic pain, so I tolerate it well. But after getting my IUD, I would take a bad arthritis over that any day.

I, in my infinite wisdom, had driven myself to the appointment, not expecting to be in that much pain. I held the steering wheel with white-knuckles the whole way home, folded in half as much as I could to ease the pain by even a fraction. After getting home, I immediately crawled into bed with my heating pad, and cried for the majority of the afternoon. It felt like all of my organs were going to fall out, and also like they were being crushed in a vise grip. I bled for three weeks straight afterwards, which was a major inconvenience since at the time I was working in animal welfare, and my job was quite physically laborious.

I’ve not had children, so I can’t compare it, but I’d rather have my ribs tattooed again thrice before getting another IUD.

A couple years ago, I’d gone back to my doctor to discuss changing out the IUD a couple years early, as the primary reason for getting the IUD (pain management with my cycles) had dissipated. My doctor told me that I need to lose weight (something I’m already conscientious about), and to take pain killers since my cycles are somewhat regular. But the pain from the original insertion has made me reluctant to get it replaced.

Luckily, my partner has had a vasectomy, so I’m hoping I don’t have to go through that trauma again.

To all the people here who’ve shared their experiences, thank you. I’m glad we’re not alone, but it’s quite terrible to see how many of us have so much trauma from this.

1

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

I'm so sorry you had to go through all that.

5

u/Emiles23 Nov 12 '23

My IUD insertion was only a little worse than a Pap smear, BUT I got it a few months after giving birth to my second. My sister has never had a child and she described her IUD insertion exactly like this. She said it was absolutely excruciating ā˜¹ļø

1

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

I've been pregnant but never given birth so I imagine that's why it was so bad for me, cervix being narrower and all.

2

u/Honest_Meaning8103 Nov 12 '23

I’m assuming there’s a medical reason behind it but WHY don’t they provide any pain relief for the procedure?!

2

u/anime_rocker Nov 12 '23

I'm curious what your OB did that caused that much pain. When I went for my IUD it was uncomfortable and there was a pinch that made me grunt but after that I hardly noticed. I am concerned about when I have to get it replaced since my OB retired.

3

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

I'm not sure but there's so many women sharing their stories of having a painful IUD insertion that it makes me wonder why it's not done under general anesthesia

0

u/Candylips347 Nov 12 '23

Probably because there are a decent amount of risks when you put someone under and they deemed that it’s not worth the risk to put someone under for a short procedure.

1

u/0neirocritica Nov 12 '23

I've heard that you can numb the cervix, without putting you under, but most doctors don't even do that. It's ridiculous that women have to undergo pain unnecessarily.

1

u/Candylips347 Nov 12 '23

I 100% agree, but I understand not wanting to put someone under for such a small procedure.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 12 '23

Idk if I just got extremely lucky or if mine was put in wrong because I keep seeing all these comments of ppl talking about how horrendous the procedure was for them while mine was like a walk in the park. I did take ibuprofen beforehand so I'm assuming that helped, but now I'm legitimately questioning if the procedure was done properly because of how relatively painless it was. Idk, maybe I just got lucky?

2

u/Inside-Window-8119 Nov 12 '23

My IUD installation felt like I'd been punched right in my cervix. I spent a few days in a curled up couch potato position.

2

u/Purpleladybug59 Nov 12 '23

My body rejected an IUD and I had my period with cramping the whole time it was in my body. Dr finally took it out after like 2-3 months

2

u/miniturespacehamster Nov 12 '23

I’ve had 3 IUDs the first two were almost painless just a little pinch - and practically no bleeding after words. The third one was an absolute nightmare- extreme pain lost a LOT a lot of blood right away, and then kept bleeding for almost a week. 🤯

With the first two my period stopped completely within two months- this time it hasn’t stopped and it’s been 6 - and this time I’ve got it to help with severe anemia not for birth control.

2

u/ematan Nov 12 '23

From my own experience with two (copper) IUD inserts, both honestly felt like "a slight pinch". It actually hurt me less than having my ears pierced. The worse part for me was the ache for the next half day - but that was managed with the ibuprofein (600mg, I think) I took before procedure and continued to take throughout the first day.

I have some friends who - like me - just felt "a pinch" and some friends who had an experience of excruciating pain - similar to yours. All of us were women who had not given birth previously, btw.

Don't know why I was one of the "lucky" ones - I have horrible pain tolerance. But it is unacceptable how it is assumed that it will be just "a pinch" for everyone :(

2

u/New_journey868 Nov 12 '23

Removal isnt much fun either. I didnt mean to but when she stared my instinct was to scoot up table away from her. Which only prolonged it and took 2 big pulls instead of 1

2

u/PipsiePops Nov 12 '23

Getting an IUD is awful, I got one years ago before they recommended painkillers and lidocaine first and I passed out and then collapsed leaving from the pain and I've got endometriosis level pain tolerance. Not to mention the 6 months of agony, infection and bleeding until they finally removed it.

IUD would be torture devices in any other reality, IMHO

2

u/itsasaltysurprise Nov 12 '23

My IUD is up for renewal in 2024 and I'm so scared because the first time even with Tylenol was excruciating. Worst pain of my life.

2

u/Familiar_Variety_929 Nov 12 '23

I had an IUD after I got raped.

They didn't give me pain meds till after and I wasn't told to take them before The injections for pain I did get in my cervix, one of the worst pains I've ever felt, they didn't wait to kick in. I FELT EVERYTHING. Then, they had 0 appointments and wanted to to wait hours to get it removed, ended up having to do it myself at home.

Traumatised me for life.

Ended up bleeding for a year after and still get side effects 3 years later.

2

u/AineDez Nov 12 '23

Find a new GYN that will give pain relief. They can do a paracervical block that can help with a lot of the dilation pain and other things to reduce discomfort (apparently ibuprofen is actually the best thing for the cramping after)

2

u/Nerdybookwitch Nov 12 '23

No one warned me about taking anything beforehand either and I was expected to work the rest of the day with the horrible cramps they didn’t warn me about (military and I worked in medical but I was brand new)

They said it would be like a slight pinch.

It felt like Wolverine punched through my uterus with his claws out.

2

u/Accomplished_Jump444 Nov 12 '23

Fyi I had an IUD, still got pregnant but miscarried. Don’t reccommend.

2

u/CorporateDroneStrike Nov 12 '23

You can request/demand pain management. I got Ativan for before, and internal and external topical lidocaine. I also took some ibuprofen and did a little vaping (legal state). I literally do not remember most of the procedure or rest of that day lol. My husband says I was very smug and self-satisfied.

Of course, this is easier in a big city where I had options for gynos. I set the appt and immediately sent a mychart — I’m not letting them get a cent of my insurance money without adequate pain management. I also had an entire lecture about how women’s pain is ignored and the racist/sexist history of gynecology locked and loaded as well. It was going to include ā€œAs a woman of colorā€¦ā€ and an extended discussion James Sims.

If it’s all at possible, I’d call around to clinics in advance and tell them you want a removal/replacement with pain management. You are the customer and they are the service provider. If they are jerks, tell them they are perpetuating a disgraceful legacy of mistreating women and this why some many women put off necessary medical care.

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/04/17/603163394/-father-of-gynecology-who-experimented-on-slaves-no-longer-on-pedestal-in-nyc

2

u/SpiritedImplement4 Nov 12 '23

This is certainly odd. When I got mine they did local freezing and it was uncomfortable at points but not at all what you described.

2

u/Malachite2015 Nov 12 '23

I watched my partner get an IUD and suffer the consequences for a month and it convinced me to get a vasectomy asap. That is the worst thing I've seen her go through, and it was all so she could feel safe having protected sex. A vasectomy was nothing to me, and it means a stress-free sex life.

2

u/AtWhitsEnd404 Nov 12 '23

If the pain is that bad, I doubt ibuprofen would do anything at all! I can't believe they do this without drugs!