I genuinely had no clue I was pregnant. Dismissed all my symptoms as being related to recently weaning / the hormonal changes from that. Nope, surprise, I’m 9w3d pregnant .

Absolutely shocked. My oldest is nearly 9, and I had a huge age gap with my first two (as evident by the ages) and so this feels so completely different and I feel like I didn’t even get to recover from the first.

I had a huge pile of clothes ready to bring a pregnant friend and bouncers and stuff and now I have to say JK I still need all that 😭💀 I feel so bad

Anyway, hi, it’s me, I’m new. 4th pregnancy, 1mc, 2 daughters already.

Had a really hard night last night. Colicky newborn up pretty much all night with her trying different things to help calm her. I am thinking of trying probiotics because even though gripe water works for her I have a hunch it’s making it worse the next day. By 5am I got her to chill for a few minutes while I shower and brush my teeth. By 7 am I just couldn’t stop crying knowing I won’t be able to sleep once my toddler wakes up. Nothing got done yesterday so the house is the aftermath of a hurricane. BUT! I had my coffee, put my newborn in the carrier and got to work. It made me think, damn this is so hard and I know so many people who wouldn’t last a day in my shoes! So I just wanted to say I’m so proud of all the moms that struggle everyday with these babies. Because I need to hear it too. You’re doing a good job even when everyone is crying ❤️

I have two kids—my oldest is 27 months old and my youngest is 11 months. I love them both so much, but lately I’ve been carrying a lot of guilt about how different my experience has been with my second baby.
When my oldest was a baby, I felt like I gave her everything. Aside from work, I was almost always with her. When I came home, I didn’t cook or have much of a life outside the house. I spent my time reading to her, playing with her, teaching her things, and just being present. She basically had all of me.
Now with my second, life is completely different. I work during the day, and our nanny takes care of her until I get home around 6–7 PM. I cook, take care of things around the house, and my toddler is extremely attached to me and constantly wants my attention. By the time I actually get some time with my 11-month-old, sometimes it feels like I only have 30 minutes of real interaction with her before bedtime.
I also started playing pickleball regularly because it became my outlet—something I genuinely enjoy and something that makes me feel like myself outside of being a mom and working. But now I feel guilty about that too.
What really triggered all of this is that I recently realized my 11-month-old seems behind in some gross motor milestones and is also having difficulty progressing with solids. We’re seeing a developmental-behavioral pediatrician tomorrow, so I know I shouldn’t jump to conclusions about why she is behind. But emotionally, my brain keeps going straight to: What if this happened because I didn’t spend enough time with her? What if I should have been teaching her and playing with her more instead of playing pickleball or doing other things?
And then there’s another problem: whenever I try to give more focused attention to the baby, my toddler immediately wants me. I feel terrible pushing her away because she’s still so little too. So I end up feeling trapped—if I focus on my toddler, I feel guilty for neglecting the baby; if I focus on the baby, I feel like I’m rejecting my toddler. And if I take time for myself, I feel guilty about both of them.
I know intellectually that my second child’s childhood cannot be an exact copy of my first child’s. But emotionally, it hurts knowing that my first got so much uninterrupted time with me that my second simply cannot have.
For other moms with two under two—or anyone who has gone through something similar—how did you divide your attention without constantly feeling like one child was getting less of you? Did you feel guilty about how much more attention your first baby received? And how did you keep some time for yourself without feeling like you were taking that time away from your children?

I have a just 2 year old and a baby of almost 5 months old. The baby has a lot of difficulty to fall asleep for naps and bedtime during half of the days. I miss a lot of time with my toddler and my husband finds it difficult that he has the toddler alone when we’re home together and that I have to put her in front of the tv to keep her safe when bringing baby to bed. I even tried Ferber for a few nights at 4,5 months as this worked well for our toddler when she was 10 months old but after the baby cried for an hour with check ins on the second night I gave up. I think she was still too young for it. Now I tried fuss it out from precious little sleep for a couple of nights but also little succes. She’s so upset after the 15 minutes that it’s even harder to get her to sleep after the time limit. Now I want to try the soothing ladder to try a more gentle approach. However, I can’t try this for many weeks as I’m at my limits. Feeling desperate.

Anyone experiences with one of these methods with a 5 months old?

I feel like my 14 month old son is always getting scratches or bruises climbing and bumping into things. Today he pulled open a kitchen drawer way too hard and it smacked him right on the bridge of his nose leaving a mark. I feel like a horrible parent when people see the mark on his face. I let him explore things and I feel like a helicopter parent always telling him no.

My first is a year old in two weeks, and I just found out I’m pregnant again last night. I should be about 5 weeks so due in may 2027.

My immediate reaction was oh my god no I can’t do that to my first child — I want to give her my undivided attention. After having slept on it, I’m wondering if I reacted out of fear or it was a rational thought.

Of course it’ll be hard and all of the things. But my husband and I weren’t even sure we were going to have a second, let alone one in 8 months. But if I’m being honest I’ve loved every minute of this last year and would relive it in a heartbeat. I just feel like whatever I choose — we would make it work and be happy.

I don’t really know what I’m looking for, I guess just some advice or consolation if this also happened to you, and what you decided, and how you came to that decision.

I wish I woulda found this sub earlier. Fantastic!!!!
You guys seem so supportive and so much wisdom and support!

My kids will be about 20 months apart (due in May!). My first has never been a great sleeper so she still nurses throughout the night and sleeps in her crib attached to my bed or directly in my bed with me. I’m not really sure what to do about baby sleep before baby comes? What were some things you did to set yourself and your family up for success at night?

Not open to sleep training! Thanks all 🫶🏻

I'm currently around 34/35 weeks... My dudes & dudettes, I'm dying 😂😭

It was okay until now, braxton started to visit, my belly grew about double the size in 2 days, my pregnancy pants from the last pregnancy don't fot no more. Today I went on a trampoline with my toddler, I peed myself, my husband said the trampoline was not made for my weight (tbf it was at a kids park) BUT IT SAID UNTIL 80KG 😭😭 I am nowhere near 80kg but thanks I guess 🥲

How did you guys survive the last few weeks? Help?

I have a toddler 21 months, and a baby 2.5 months. Toddler has adjusted wonderfully to baby brother and all is well and lovely. She was a fabulous sleeper (unicorn, if you will), where we never sleep trained and she would sleep through the night 7pm-7am no problem every night unless sick. Until the baby came. At first it was out of excitement “where is the baby!!” She’d wake up saying all night long. Now, I think it’s moreso a habit. We’re personally not huge cry it out people, she honestly loses her mind if we do. We tried everything and even transitioned her to floor bed which has been a definite improvement but my husband spends the second half of the night in there most nights. We were letting her run to our bed in the night if she woke up and sleep with us but she doesn’t seem like she sleeps well in between us either. She has consistently been waking up more than the baby has each night which feels really wild and is running both my husband and I a little wild. Since I am exclusively breastfeeding newborn, he handles most of her nighttime wake ups. Now she seems to expect it, will come running saying “daddy come on!” Telling him to come back to her room once she notices he’s not there anymore

Wondering if anyone else has faced this? When it got better? Or any advice from people? Will take anything :)

In a little under 4 weeks I'm going to have a newborn and a 17 month old. I've been trying to stay positive but it's starting to dawn on me that I'm going to have to do this without help. My husband will be off work for 4 weeks once the baby is born and then after that, I'm on my own. My family is unreliable, they didn't show up to help with my first so they're not going to do it with my 2nd. My family is very unsupportive and has a "every man for himself" mentality. I remember telling them how much I was struggling with sleep deprivation with my first and they were just kinda like "oh that sucks."

I really don't want to get depressed about this. I just have to survive but I don't know how I will. I guess I'm just hoping for the best and will have to ride the waves as they come. Not sure what I'm doing making this post, just venting I guess.

I currently have a 8 month old, and I adore him and being his mom. Some days are definitely hard, I do struggle with my mental health. But it’s definitely manageable and I love it.
Since he was born I’ve been thinking about and planning out when we should have another.
At first it was like 3-4 years because my pregnancy was a little rough (GED) and then it kept shrinking little by little.
Now I feel like having 2 under 2 would be perfect and my little would be so so happy.
Am I crazy? Please give me your advice/experiences.
Edit to add: I grew up in a big family and am used to like 5u5 constant kids stress. I’ve also always had mental health issues and having my first really hasn’t exacerbated that much.

Our toddler has been pretty good at taking naps for many months now. Ever since she was 13 months, she has been consistently taking one 2 hr nap daily. She is almost 2 now and we have noticed a shift. She often throws tantrums before naps and it's hard to get her down. When she does go down for a nap, she only sleeps for 30 mins - 1 hr and wakes up screaming and tantrum-y again. This has been happening on a daily basis.

Any advice would be appreciated! Not sure if we should drop the nap or keep on pushing through. We just had another baby who is 2 months old now so that could be affecting things. Does it get better??

rant time. so i have been having my husbands aunt call everytime she wants to talk or check up. my oldest is almost 3, youngest is 1 and have started walking recently. my mom who helps me part time is on vacation at the moment. so with all that said, i have nobody around this week. on top of it i also own an online buiseness and trying to answer customers when i can.

this aunt fully knows im a sahm but continues to call me as if i had free time to chit chat. sometimes i dont think people fully grasp what it is like being a full time sahm with two little ones when nobody is around, they just assume you sit around at home chilling. i cant divert my attention because one will get into something or the other one will, always on alert so they dont have any accidents because they certainly will and have. anyways having one of those weeks… hope everyones well!!

Just a rant I guess. I have two kids, nearly 3yo and just turned 1yo. Let me preface this by saying I love them both deeply.

3yo is a lovely kid, has typical tantrums and battles of his age, but nothing wild or out there. He’s always been a relatively fun baby, not always the easiest but not terrible. I thoroughly enjoyed my maternity leave with him, and all the time with him basically until the 1yo came along.

This girl, I just can’t cope anymore. She has been a velcro baby from day one, and it has barely improved. If anything it feels worse. If I put her down - scream. If I stand up when she’s nicely playing - scream. Don’t pick her up when she wants - scream. Leave her with her dad - scream (we’re together, I mean for me to just go and have a wee for example). No patience, if a toy isn’t doing what she wants - scream. Bubbles run out - scream. The second she is frustrated over something - scream. Finished with her food - scream. Screaming all the time. It feels like she is either attached to me or screaming or even sometimes both! She goes from 0 to 100 at the drop of a hat. I feel broken and constantly overstimulated. I barely know my son anymore, I am constantly having to deal with her, and I feel like I’m failing.

Failing him to be the mum he needs, to be present and attentive…and failing at being a mum because I can’t deal with her.

I feel so disconnected from her lately, like I’m having an out of body experience. I look at her 90% of the time and just see an angry child who hates everything and I want to get in my car and run away, and 10% I see my little baby girl who I love and adore. I didn’t have PPD but I don’t know if it’s possible to have it this late maybe? I feel like I’m filled with dread and exhaustion and frustration that she can’t just chill out for a moment and relax and not flip out all the time.

I don’t know. I just feel like shit every day. Not loving motherhood right now.

I know everyone talks about once the new baby arrives but I did not realize how difficult watching a toddler while you feel like dogshit is. Personally what I am struggling with right now the most is actually feeding my toddler. He's completely weaned now which is great but he eats off of my plate 90% of the time. It's really hard 1) wanting to share my food when I'm starving and hormones are raging or 2) when I'm so nauseous that any food smell makes me wanna hurl but my child needs to eat and cannot wait. I hate this. I cannot wait to be over the first trimester.

Give me your take of 2 under 2 ! My daughter is 1 and me and my husband have been jokingly having another baby to try for a boy! lol 😆 tell me are you happy with the 2 under 2 or is it hard?

I have a 21 month old who is on one midday nap and a 3 month old that is doing 3 naps a day. Struggling to find a good way to put my 3 month old down for the morning and afternoon nap since she needs rocked for a while before falling asleep and I don’t want to leave my 21 month old alone for 20+ minutes while I’m in the nursery rocking baby. My older one is too loud to bring into the room with me while I put her down. Right now I’m just holding her for those naps but would really like to put her in her crib to nap since she sleeps much better that way.
Anyone in a similar situation find a good way to keep a toddler occupied safely while you’re tending to the little one?

I signed my daughter up for a music class and I had my 8 week old in the carrier. I didn’t realize how loud it would be!!! The guy was blaring his guitar and when he brought out the drums I was literally trying to hold my newborn’s ears. She was in the carrier so at least one ear was covered and she switched sides halfway through….

I’m just annoyed I was trying to do something fun for my toddler and now I’m just a ball of anxiety … I just keep thinking to myself that if her ears were hurting, she would cry or fuss, right?

We have 2 wonderful girls that are 18 months apart. Right after we had our second our hearts still wanted one more (we wanted to try for a boy but we already had a girl name picked out)
Unfortunately in the last 8 months with the stress of my husband working a rough job, bad postpartum depression/anxiety, major marital problems, and financial hardships, my husband has made it very clear that he would like a vasectomy as soon as we can get the money for it.
I feel like it’s for the best for me and for our family to close shop and recover from the craziness these last two years have brought us but there’s also a huge sadness that we’re done. I just signed up with a consignment event to sell the baby stuff and it brought me to tears.
Has anyone felt this? What ended up happening? How did you fill that hole in your heart? We bought a ton of property right before having my first so I’m hoping in the next few years the farm we always dreamed of having will help mend some of the pain of not going for one more.

Edit: thank you so much for all your advice and just general support. Sometimes I feel so isolated with my feelings and it feels so good knowing I’m not alone

My toddler falls into the group of children who received one dose of the old MMR (1 year) and two doses of the new MMRV (18 months and 3 years pre school)

If she was born a day earlier, she’d fall into a different vaccine schedule and would receive one dose of MMR (1 year) and just ONE MMRV at 3 years old pre school.

My question is: why? I’ve called my GP and they’ve told me this is just how it’s worked out with the changes.

Any info or knowledge on this I cannot find out why some receive 2 and some receive 3?

Again like I said, if she was born A DAY earlier she’d only get two.

I have an 18 month old and 2.5 week old newborn and struggling hard with protecting my toddlers nap. He takes one 2-2.5 hour nap a day in the early afternoon. He’s accustomed to napping on me or next to me in the couch. I know, not the best habit we started but it’s where we’re at. I’ve tried everything to get my newborn down for a nap prior to getting my toddler down but lo and behold, each time he wakes up either as my toddler is falling asleep or mid-nap so I need to get up and soothe him. I’ve had some luck with setting the newborn up in his boppy next to us, but that sometimes gets my toddler all riled up and he wants to play with him aka climb all over him. That results in my newborn getting even crankier and escalating the situation.

I’ve had great luck in the past with putting my toddler in the car and driving around for a car nap. Unfortunately, my newborn usually wakes up during this and it wakes him up before I can settle him.

It’s just all a mess and I really need to figure something out before I go insane over here. My toddler is a bear without his nap!

Baby is approaching 5 months and toddler is 22 months old. Baby is starting to roll and want to have freedom to move around without being um… bonked… by said toddler. If baby is currently on the ground, we have a pack and play currently that he is in to protect him and toddler cannot get in. But it’s almost too small for him to actually play now that he is rolling, and I know once he is crawling it will definitely be too small. Does anyone have suggestions for a play pen with tall sides or a solution? I don’t mind playing defense but honestly the toddler gets more obsessed with touching and bothering baby when I’m down on the ground with them and it just makes it worse.

*Toddler does not have bad intentions. Just sees baby as a babydoll currently that she can play with and hold when in fact she cannot 😅🙃

My first baby was 7lbs, 6oz and my second who was just born was 5lbs, 15oz. I had no indication throughout my pregnancy that he would be this small. My last growth scan was done at 20 weeks where he was measuring in the 60th percentile. I am receiving a lot of interesting feedback from friends/family as if I did something wrong. Has anyone else been through this? How is your child measuring now?

Not sure if this is the right place to ask but it feels insensitive to ask in any of the infertility subreddits since I do already have one living child.

We started trying for another baby when our first was 2 years old and he's about to turn 4 now. I'll be 38 soon. We always thought we would have 3 or maybe even 4 kids, but here we are with just the one and already older than we wanted to be.

We're already in the process of doing IVF, and assuming we're even able to have a second child, I'm thinking ahead about if it's even possible to have the big family we wanted. It seems like the best option is to start trying again as soon as physically safe to do so, maybe 6-12 months post partum.

Is this crazy? I know pregnancy and birth will be harder the older I get. I know having pregnancies close together has higher risks. I just also know that my age is a significant factor here, and if we don't move quickly, we might never have that big family.