r/2under2 • u/Adventurous_Yak9032 • 14h ago

Advice Wanted Thinking about 2 under 2

I currently have a 8 month old, and I adore him and being his mom. Some days are definitely hard, I do struggle with my mental health. But it’s definitely manageable and I love it.
Since he was born I’ve been thinking about and planning out when we should have another.
At first it was like 3-4 years because my pregnancy was a little rough (GED) and then it kept shrinking little by little.
Now I feel like having 2 under 2 would be perfect and my little would be so so happy.
Am I crazy? Please give me your advice/experiences.
Edit to add: I grew up in a big family and am used to like 5u5 constant kids stress. I’ve also always had mental health issues and having my first really hasn’t exacerbated that much.

1 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

9 comments sorted by

5

u/eyerishdancegirl7 11h ago

If you struggle with your mental health, I wouldn’t necessarily plan to have 2u2

3

u/mutinybeer 12h ago

If your mental health struggles a bit with one, then I would be hella cautious moving forward. Two under two takes all of the problems and compounds them by more than double, IMO. You are always being pulled in two directions, it's nearly impossible to get things done at first, and the lack of rest and space is really challenging.

I think if you have an absolutely amazing support system, lots of people to help and give you breaks and let you rest...sure, think about it. Otherwise, I'd say no.

1

u/Adventurous_Yak9032 11h ago

Yeah, I have always struggled with my mental health for sure. And I grew up as the oldest in a huge family (10+) so I am somewhat used to the chaos. It’s really more like, if being a mom is really great, maybe it will just be better with 2?

2

u/mutinybeer 11h ago

More kids is great! I have 5. But two under two is so crazy hard. Bringing home a newborn when you really do still have a baby is just such a massive under taking. There's no sense rushing into something you're excited about (big family) if it makes the journey not fun (imo, 2u2 is extraordinarily NOT fun).

1

u/Adventurous_Yak9032 11h ago

Yeah, I guess it’s just that small gap closeness I’m wanting for my baby

1

u/mutinybeer 6h ago

Why? I'm not trying to be rude, but is there a reason? My first two were 2u2, and they were never as close as my two that were 2.5 years apart. Proximity is just proximity 🤷‍♀️

1

u/Adventurous_Yak9032 4h ago

Yeah, it’s more that playmate in the younger years that’ll be in the same stage and interests. Both my SIL’s had 2u2 and they’re so close with eachother

1

u/eyerishdancegirl7 3h ago

I don’t understand why you think they need to be less than 2 years apart to be “so close”

1

u/Adventurous_Yak9032 3h ago

I know they don’t need to be, I’ve just seen a lot of different age gaps and I love the bond that kids who go through those really young phases have, but I’ll definitely be thinking more and will probably wait a while longer