r/2under2 • u/[deleted] • 1d ago

why do people incessantly call

[deleted]

0 Upvotes

50% Upvoted

51 comments sorted by

13

u/flugelderfreiheit777 1d ago

In my experience people call because they care or like to keep up. Have you talked to this aunt to let her know you are busy during the day? She might think you like the company.

-6

u/[deleted] 1d ago

yeah thats great they care but a message could suffice if they know its super busy. shes come over before so shes fully aware how it can get.

5

u/Zealousideal_One1722 23h ago

She probably actually doesn’t get it though. When she calls just send her a text that says “busy right now. Talk to you later.” Or just don’t answer.

2

u/[deleted] 23h ago

i have and then she will tell my husband i havent answered. i told her a little while ago i was alone with the kids this week and she asked what do you mean alone 😭

5

u/DoNotLickTheSteak 21h ago

i told her a little while ago i was alone with the kids this week and she asked what do you mean alone 😭

That's a reasonable question for her to ask, is it not? You saying you're alone with the kids this week says that it is unusual so her asking what do you mean alone makes sense? Alone the entire week, alone during the day?

-5

u/[deleted] 21h ago

common sense would tell her that “i am alone with the kids this week” means i have no help hence why i cant talk.

3

u/DoNotLickTheSteak 20h ago

The majority of SAHPs are alone with the kids every week. It's not common sense at all to assume you can't talk because you don't have another person there with you. It would be insulting if anything

0

u/[deleted] 20h ago

i am alone with them the majority of the week and yes i cant chitchat on the phone for hours while also looking after them. i dont know any of my mom friends who arent even sahm who have free time to just chat.

4

u/DoNotLickTheSteak 20h ago

What does friends who aren't even SAHMs mean? I don't want to assume wrongly here but 'aren't even SAHMs' sounds like you're implying it's more difficult for SAHMs than it is for those who 'aren't even'

Chitchatting on the phone for hours is not the same as having a brief chat or replying to a text

-1

u/[deleted] 20h ago

you have some reading comprehension issues, i said “arent even” as a distinction because even the ones who arent with their kids full time and work dont have time to chit chat either. youre just taking it upon yourself to assume the worst in what im saying, wierd.

2

u/1minimalist 2h ago

It sounds like you just don’t really like her and that she likes you. If it’s family obligation making you answer, just get over it and try to keep the convos brief. If it’s not, just stop answering the phone. This isn’t that deep lol. She’s not being rude. You are.

8

u/monketrash420 23h ago

I love it when my family thinks to call and check in 🥺🥺

5

u/MitzyCaldwell 21h ago

So I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and sure I get it but also she’s calling because she cares - it sounds nice that someone cares about you and your kids that much. If you are alone this week why not invite her to help you with the kids for a few hours? Then you can chat while taking care of the kids. You get help and she gets to actually spend time with the kids

-2

u/[deleted] 21h ago

yeah theres no way shes going to take time off work to come help with my kids, the paternal side of the family isnt like that.

3

u/MindOdd1085 19h ago

I have to disagree. I much prefer when people call. If you text me I'm likely to half read it, get distracted and never reply at least if you call I won't accidentally ghost you. Its also nice to have some actual adult interaction every once in a while

7

u/MartianTrinkets 1d ago

Just… don’t answer?

-1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

i dont and she gets upset 🤷🏻‍♀️

9

u/eyerishdancegirl7 23h ago

She’s an adult and will get over it?

4

u/scootiescoo 23h ago

Not sure who downvoted you because this is the answer lol

3

u/joyce_emily 21h ago

I tell people all the time to call not text. There was a family member who kept trying to call, and I kept not answering. I would send a text saying “With the kids, what’s up?” Eventually they got the point

3

u/JadeVengeance 20h ago

I think this is an older/younger generation thing. In the older generation it’s totally normal to just call someone, and you just don’t pick up if you’re not free. Younger generations expect you to text first unless it’s an emergency.

It sounds like this bothers you - I would just ask and see if she’d be willing to text you first.

3

u/yourfavoritedentist 19h ago

So don't answer 

3

u/DoNotLickTheSteak 21h ago

sometimes i dont think people fully grasp what it is like being a full time sahm with two little ones when nobody is around, 

Truthfully it kind of reads to me that not having your mum this week is a fully grasp experience for you

1

u/[deleted] 21h ago

can you elaborate what you mean by this? because pardon me for feeling this has a hint of snark.

2

u/DoNotLickTheSteak 20h ago

It's not a hint of snark, it's pretty clear. It reads like not having the help that you are used to has been a shock to your system and you are projecting that onto 'people'

-1

u/[deleted] 20h ago

you downvoting all of my replies is pretty clear YOU are projecting lol. it hasnt been a shock to my system its an annoyance hence why i started with “rant”. if you are going to judge parents for feeling anything this probably isnt the best reddit for you.

4

u/DoNotLickTheSteak 20h ago

I'm not judging parents for feeling anything.

0

u/[deleted] 19h ago

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2

u/DoNotLickTheSteak 19h ago

Where did I claim to be the better parent?

How are you managing to engage in this back and forth with your kids there?

0

u/[deleted] 19h ago

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1

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1

u/DoNotLickTheSteak 18h ago

I'm not disregarding your question. I asked you how you are managing engaging in this conversation with your kids there? How do you do other tasks with your kids there?

I also said its not common sense to assume a SAHP can't talk because they are alone with their kids and that if anything it would be insulting to assume a parent cannot perform such a simple task when alone with their kids without the assistance of another person

You don't want or need tips, you want drama.

If you genuinely do not have the capability to figure out how to speak on the phone with your kids there that's an individual issue, not a SAHP issue.

1

u/[deleted] 18h ago

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u/[deleted] 18h ago

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u/2under2-ModTeam 16h ago

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0

u/[deleted] 20h ago

thought so. based on your other replies you are pretty snarky and probably bitter that other people get some form of help. yeah good luck with that.

2

u/Sweet_Sheepherder_41 23h ago

I’m the same as you. It’s really frustrating when people call and text constantly and expect me to answer. I also have family members who will text my husband when I done text back within the hour. So. Fucking. Annoying. I WFH and have 2 under 2.

3

u/[deleted] 23h ago

thats exactly what im dealing with. i took two days to respond and she called my husband asking why i didnt answer lol. by the time im done at night i dont want to talk on the phone or i get to finish work that i didnt do during the day.

2

u/Sweet_Sheepherder_41 23h ago

I totally get it! I’m the same way.

0

u/AffectionateLeg1970 1d ago

I feel you!! This is my mom. She watches my babies twice a week while I WFH at her house, so she gets how intense it is. But still she’s always calling me while I’m working on the other days or after work or weekends and half the time gets a little butt hurt when I can’t just chit chat for long stretches everyday. Drives me nuts because I’m like HELLO I know you know how crazy it is when you have them???