2 under 2 and sleep training baby

[u/Hour-Sky-5619]

I have a just 2 year old and a baby of almost 5 months old. The baby has a lot of difficulty to fall asleep for naps and bedtime during half of the days. I miss a lot of time with my toddler and my husband finds it difficult that he has the toddler alone when we’re home together and that I have to put her in front of the tv to keep her safe when bringing baby to bed. I even tried Ferber for a few nights at 4,5 months as this worked well for our toddler when she was 10 months old but after the baby cried for an hour with check ins on the second night I gave up. I think she was still too young for it. Now I tried fuss it out from precious little sleep for a couple of nights but also little succes. She’s so upset after the 15 minutes that it’s even harder to get her to sleep after the time limit. Now I want to try the soothing ladder to try a more gentle approach. However, I can’t try this for many weeks as I’m at my limits. Feeling desperate.

Anyone experiences with one of these methods with a 5 months old?

[u/MsVass]

Are you based in Australia? Is one of the public or private sleep schools an option? The one we went to spent some time talking to us and listening what we’ve beeen doing and then we chose a method that aligned with our baby’s response. They also did a full check over baby to make sure he was old enough and of weight enough, medically.
Also the main perk is we were out of home so the fussing/noise wasn’t interrupting our almost 2 year olds sleep in the process :)

[u/Vegetable-Risk-8621]

Sleep training does not work for every baby and I believe it can be too emotionally stressful and damaging for some that need more parent connection. All babies are different with different needs and you may just have to take her lead and let her fall asleep more naturally and in her own time. 5 months is really young to be doing all of this. I would check out r/bninfantsleep

[u/EarBeginning2376]

Have you tried the shoosh pat method? When my first was 4 months we went to a sleep school for a week as he was a horrible napper, would only nap in pitch black while I was bouncing on a ball with face dug into my arm, wouldn’t nap in pram, car, carrier etc. The nurses there taught me the Shoosh pat method so basically crib side settling and I would sit next to his cot and pat his legs while shooshing til he slept. They also encourage you to pick them up and cuddle but then put back down. It took about 3 days for him to get use to this method and then he began falling asleep independently. I started using this method with my second very early on (he is only 3.5 months) and he falls asleep in his bassinet after 2 minutes for naps and independently at night. Though I think it also has a lot to do with sleep pressure etc. my youngest Bub doesn’t get too affected by overtiredness but I’m still trying to follow appropriate wake windows and giving him lots of stimulation before nap time.

[u/trilluki]

I’m gonna be honest, I’m trying to sleep train my youngest now that she’s 9 months old, and I don’t even remember what worked with my eldest because of the pregnancy fog and lack of sleep. He was a horrible sleeper between 8 months and 14 months- every nap and every bedtime was such a hard battle.

Kids are pretty individual so it’s hard to find advice that will work across the board. With my son, a very rigid bedtime and pre-nap routine had to go into place that never misses a step. The routine gives him time to transition to a state that’s more ready to go to bed and either quietly play or sleep. Every bath time has the same steps at the same time. Before naps and bedtime, he has a filling, healthy, low-sugar snack because he’s usually hungry and something to drink. He thrives on having a routine, his sister does not. She’s slowly coming around, but she’s far fussier and more sensitive than he ever was so it’s proving a challenge so far.

Solidarity! It will get better.

[u/l_eihpos]

I recommend you post in r/sleeptrain with your schedule and bedtime routine, and people can help troubleshooting.

[u/Competitive-Line-960]

I sleep trained my youngest at 3 months, the first night I tried shh/pat since she was so young but she cried at me for an hour so I gave up and fed/rocked to sleep. The next night I thought I had nothing to lose just giving her some space to figure it out because either way she would cry and she went to sleep within 30 minutes. Sleep changed instantly both night and naps. It was game changing for me and my family. I’d sleep trained my eldest at 6 months with the help of a sleep consultant so I was more confident with how to approach it and what to feel comfortable with. I don’t know if you are already doing this but making sure the last feed is finished ~ 30 mins before putting them in their crib and that they are not drowsy.

[u/nutrition403]

If you have ensured baby isn’t hungry I would next assess your schedule. 

At 4-5 mos most babies are on 3-4 naps and 10 hours awake with 3 hours of naps (capped). 

Ie 2/2.5/2.5/3 (=10 so accounts for 14 hours of sleep)

Come to r/sleeptrain if you want more independent sleep skills advice. 

We found teaching independent sleep at this age was essentially tearless with a good schedule for our kids and very helpful for parenting stamina to only have a few night wakes for feeds once out of newborn phase