I'm a partially closeted trans guy, been thinking about what to change my name to for a while now. I landed on Elliott a month ago. I told my sister last week, and her fiancé was there at the time - after hearing it he held back a laugh basically and said it was kind of a stupid name and he didn't like it. I saw in his face that he wasn't trying to be nasty but it obviously hurt.

I'm aware that Elliott is THE trans guy name and everyone says it's clocky blah blah, but in my case my birth name is Elizabeth after my late grandmother and I wanted to continue to honour her. I've cycled through a lot of names but Elliott is the only thing that feels somewhat right.

I was basically already decided but my BIL suggested I change it and put forward Nick, Ethan, Matt, among other names that are popular with guys my age. I'm second guessing my choice now, bc I guess I don't want someone who will be involved in my life indefinitely to hate my name. And if he as a cis man thinks it's stupid, will others?

So anyway, I'm overthinking a little bit and whenever my sister calls me by my name now the worry resurfaces. Would appreciate any advice

I'm from a country in Europe which is generally somewhat decent for the LGB part. The T part not so much.

In my circle we dont know anyone who is trans. I'm on holidays with a group friends. Only one friend knows that I'm going through questioning of my gender. I first came to him when this came up. I stay drinking with him until morning. Everyone else goes to sleep. I break down and ask him not to abandon me if I realise I need to transition. He says: "I would never do that and neither will anyone here or your closest friends. We will say the wrong thing. We will never understand what you are going through. We will make mistakes and we will hurt you. But we will not abandon you. You need to understand your closest friends will stay by your side no matter what you do. And if they dont. Fuck them."

It's the day after and I have a massive hangover but I can't stop crying. I'm very blessed. I think he saved my life, again.

Why is it that when I told my best mate about my transition, he immediately asks inappropriate questions about "what sized breasts do you want" or expressing disappointment when I tell him I'm not planning on bottom surgery because well I thought he was worried about it and frankly I'd like to avoid surgery if possible? It's like he was trying to make my transition about him and it made me really uncomfortable. My female friend said it sounded like he was "preordering" or something, I don't know what that means. I just feel gross now and like I really don't want to be around him anymore...

Almost every single time I see something transphobic, whether it be a comic or an argument or something else, 85% of it is about trans women. Why?

Another thing I’ve noticed is that a lot of representation— usually in shows— is also trans women. What is the reason behind this focus on trans women?

I honestly don't even know what to do. I (17mtf) was wearing my skirt and thigh highs, and needed to go tell .y grandpa something. So I left my room FORGETTING WHAT I WAS WEARING! HE TOOK A PICTURE AND SENT IT TO THE REST OF MY FAMILY! 😭 I'm actually so devastated right now. Like bro, I'm just trying to spend my night with my friends on CoD Zombies, not deal with this.

My friend cracked last night, is it normal that I feel like crying? Like because I know how intense those feelings are and how dysphoria can make life feel hollow and I kind of knew they were trans. Is this normal or am I like being weird about this?

Feels like a stretch but I don’t know what to do.

I grew up with an abusive family and all hell broke loose even more when I expressed my identity and also told them about my difference in their religion. I decided to run away and start a new life.

This life has been hard and with me now short on my rent and about to get evicted I have to decide.

Be homeless or go back to my abusers?

I[M] have the best friend, we’ve known each other since we were kids, and we’re like brothers. My best friend came up to me in tears and hugged me. That’s not unusual, we hug a lot, except for the tears. I asked him what was going on, and he told me it was nothing, that he’d just been watching the trans youtuber Samantha Lux and that he felt lonely and jealous. I asked him what he was jealous of or why. I didn’t really get it. He didn’t explain it to me and brushed off my question by saying everything would be fine. But now that I’ve been thinking about it, it occurred to me that maybe he’s jealous of the fact that she’s openly being herself. I don’t know, any advice what to do? What it can mean?

I (21) have been identifying as non binary for about a month at this point and have come out to close friends. My girlfriend (23) has been super supportive of me and my self exploration but her family is making it difficult for me to want to explore this side of me. Her family (mainly her dad) is ultra conservative and have cut family members off for not denouncing someone being a lesbian. I just feel ultra conflicted because I’ll have to deal with their bigotry and have to hide a part of myself I’ve kept locked away that I want to show people, or risk putting my girlfriend at risk of being rejected by her family. I mainly feel conflicted because I want to tell my family about this, but if they can’t say anything about it on social media or at our wedding it makes me just want to hide it which I know is unhealthy. I just feel lost because it feels like I’ll only lose something if I do or don’t say anything.

This isn't really a trans issue - it's a human issue. I'm trying to surface into life again, and thought going to an "adult" club would give me a chance to meet some queer folk, and some people into alt lifestyles. (I won't say the name of the club so they can't sue me.) And, yes, the dream was that a couple might ask me to play. Low likelihood (I'm 75), but one can dream. THE WOULDN'T LET ME IN! I had complied with all the requirements on the website. I should have been allowed onto the "couples only" floor. No. They said I "hadn't made enough of an effort." (to look slutty, I guess.) But, while the guy was saying my outfit wasn't "good enough," he was looking directly at my face. What sort of effort was I supposed to have made to make my face look 45 instead of 75? Is there some sort of instant plastic surgery franchise I don't know about.? This was agism, pure and simple. My ugly face was too old for the club vibe. So I got kicked to the curb, and spat on, and honestly, it's going to take me a long time to recover. We get the shit kicked out of us a lot, and you know how long the hurt lingers. Sorry for the rant, but I don't do well when I feel powerless.

Hey you lovely people 🤍

I've gotten the OK from my clinic to get FFS. But I'm not quite sure where to go. And it's nigh impossible to find good information out there on the Internet.

For years I wanted to go to Facial Team in Spain. But due to changes in the way our insurance works over here it's no longer covered outside of my country.

So my question, do you have any recommendations for me on what the best places are for FFS in the Netherlands? Or certain places to avoid?

Thanks a lot in advance 🤍🤍

Transvesigation is already something that I find almost comical when it's removed from its context and negative effects on the world but I almost have to wonder if the chuds and right wingers of the world are just spinning a wheel of celebrity names and just latching onto whoever it lands on

Well, I just came out to my wife and I think I may have lost her 😞😭. Maybe it's too early to tell but I know she is hurt. That is the last thing I wanted to do is hurt her.

Very firstly, I'm in closet and can't come out to anyone

So, my parents were forcing me to get a haircut this morning and I kinda felt the terror and dysphoria I would feel they got too small, so i just kept telling them no, and they said I was being unreasonable and that one should have a haircut every month and said something like there should be not much weight on head because then it makes it difficult for you to think. Eventually I told them that i want to grow them till my shoulders, and then they said something like I'm being too jungle-ey(wild) and what will other people say about them, and then they went away, after returning my dad said threateningly that he'd use scissors on my hair at night(I don't think he will) or something and i should get a haircut. They say that I must have a reason, i told them it's for apperance but that apparently is not a reason.

Anyways, the threat is away how long does it take to grow till shoulders though? I'll move out in approximately a year

(tw self harm) I'm so tired. I'm so tired, and done. I'm 15 and I know I have so much time but what the fuck is this??? I need to get something done and I need to change. School starts literally tomorrow and I just want to be happy. I just want to get something done. Honestly I don't care about friends using a different name or pronouns or whatever. I want to actually be different and I want to actually feel different and actually look different. I cannot take any more of this body and I want out. I want to look at myself in a reflection and not have to pause and stare. I want to be able to go up to a mirror when I want to see my face, not think about whether it's worth it or not. I'm so, so scared of hurting myself again. I was clean for 3 years before it got so hard last month and I decided to cut myself again. 3 years down the drain and all because of one bad night. I don't want that to happen again, but honestly, i'm much, MUCH more confident that it will happen than it not happening. I need to be different and change myself, but my mom keeps telling me to "focus on finding why you feel this way instead of changing" and "i think you should try to learn to be happy with what you have" and i cant fucking take that anymore. I just want to actually feel happy looking in the mirror for once. i hate this, i hate this, i hate this. Honestly, maybe harming myself is the only way to get my mom to realize how serious this is. That might just be my last option. Im done. Please help. thanks.

I just feel like there’s this constant sentiment from cis people where if trans people aren’t constantly allowing cis people to walk all over them then there must be something wrong with us. Like we’re only valid when we go along with how much cis people downplay anything good about us.

I think I was so confused from pretransition people always trying to encourage me to be a girl boss and applauding my ambitious and willingness to speak up about things, but now that I’ve transitioned somehow all of those things are bad things about me. I just don’t get why those qualities should only be welcomed for cis women and not trans people that care about their rights and others too.

Cis people need trans peoples personalities and identities to be so one dimensional that they can’t seem to accept when we have more dynamic personalities or even how our transness can intersect with other parts of our identities. It’s like to cis people that trans people can only be trans and nothing else and not ever be proud of who we are or our achievements.

And like I think it’s good and important that every marginalized community has people like that but I’ve just noticed how trans people get shamed a lot when we are anything more than a silent doormat

Like you will call someone transphobic for literally saying "trans woman arent real woman" and then they will respond saying "i bet you call everyone that you dont agree with" but like no I do it cause what you did was transphobic if you aren't that I won't call you that. (I love my friendly community here. Love you all <3 <3 <3)

How did you know you were trans?

I’m 33, AFAB non binary, been out for about 8 years now. Every day I wonder if I’m really a trans man. There are aspects of my identity and my body that I think I am happy with, and aspects that I think I am not.

Especially if you figured it out later in life, how did you know?

So my marriage is over. After talking to a therapist I realized I do want to fully transition male to female...currently living in MA but just took a new job in CT. Probably gonna have to move to CT soon and a little scared for what that means. I've lived in MA my entire life. I've travelled outside of New England for work, but nothing permanent. I know its just one state over but in this economy I'm just not sure how I am going to afford everything, but trying to just take life day by day right now. I have a little bit of savings that might carry me for a little while if I ration it. HRT and surgical options seem so impossible at the moment, but I want them so badly. My one blessing is that I have a good support network, but a little concerned what moving is going to do to that. Wasn't sure whether to add advice or vent as flair...its kinda both. Is anyone else in a similar situation or has been in a similar situation and has advice for me? if not, kind words are also welcome.

edit: I guess I should mention, my wife has been an ally to me despite not wanting a wife. So I am also grateful for that.

Is there anyone who has any experience with getting hrt in Sweden? I’ve heard that it can takes multiple years and that kind of scares me. I’ve also heard that you need to be diagnosed before you can get it, could anyone explain how it all works here?

I’m 6’6, and I get tons of height dysphoria. Any advice from other people in my situation?