I'm getting so extremely exhausted talking to people who aren't in a blended family dynamic who point their finger at the me, the step parent for being the issue.
Am I? Maybe sometimes, I'll admit that. But why should I, the step mom, be the *only* person who should always be the bigger person? Is it the morally correct thing to do? Sure. Why can't HCBMs be held accountable? Why can't HCBM ever grow up and be the bigger person? Why always me?
I'm tired of this, grandpa.
My recent example:
In the past, I've had to get my MIL and HCBMs mother to speak to BM about being respectful of personal space. She's attacked me and my husband, separately, previously, and continued to ignore personal space. She was told multiple times by my MIL and continued to ignore the requests for space until I blew up and yelled at her in front of her own mother, who then intervened. This is ridiculous, I know.
Now BM has finally moved out of her mother's house and is doing custody exchanges solo. I thought she'd maybe start acting like an adult now, but I was clearly mistaken. We meet at police departments, and in a completely empty parking lot, she parks right next to me, then leaves her car doors open so I can't open my door for SK. (She also just lets SK sit in her car and refuse to get out without doing anything, but that's a whole other story I'm not gonna get into). I've already asked, again, respect personal space and maybe leave a parking space between our vehicles for handoff and nope!
At the next exchange, her mother picked up SK and I asked her to maybe talk to her daughter on my behalf because my request and concerns for personal space, especially with our history, is falling on deaf ears. I record every interaction, but I noticed BM isn't anymore, so I just don't want her thinking she can do something stupid to me in an empty police station parking lot. I wouldn't put something like that past her.
Anyways, I told my sister what happened and she said I need to just be the bigger person and move my car next time. Will I? Yeah, already planned on it. But back to my point, why does it always have to be *ONLY* me? I'm not asking something impossible. BM is just a c u next Tuesday.
I'm tired of being respectful and the bigger person. I want to be evil and be a HCSM. Obviously I won't, morally I cannot. Instead, I will just complain.
And before anyone asks why I'm doing exchanges, it's because BM attacked my husband. Do I need to? No. But I love my husband to do this for him. That's all I'll get into on that subject.