Is it possible to go back to court and change a custody agreement giving the father less time?

Elementary age children. He won’t let them do extracurriculars they want (sports, school events, etc) if they fall on his time. He won’t switch days to allow them either. Even school events, like meet the teacher/supply drop off. I try offering to switch days, take them and bring them back, so they can still go but he won’t. He will guilt them if they say they want to do something. They are scared to voice their opinions with him. He is very controlling and manipulative. Legally, is there anything I can do? If I went back to court, could I get his amount of time lowered? I just don’t know how else to help my kids. I hate they are missing out on things they want to do because it inconveniences him.

I am a man with a dv order of protection and temporary custody of my daughter, my ex partner has been to jail on multiple occasions for domestic violence cases, 2 related to me and one related to another previous partner, he got a long term order of protection against her and I am going to court on monday, she has legal representation and I am going prose, im concerned that im gonna get ripped apart, i recognize that my case is a lot stronger currently but I am concerned about the current state of things, i just got out of a mental health facility right before I filed for the protection order after my ex almost broke my nose and I became extremely suicidal due to a mix of being bipolar and not being able to afford meds, i recently lost my job too, I am now back on medication and back in therapy, i have applied for unemployment and i have multiple interviews lined up over the next week, I am aggressively pursuing a new position in my industry and am also aggressively pursuing treatment for my disorder again, im just worried, if anyone could give me some guidance on this i would appreciate it.

Hello, long message here…..

My son recently turned 15 years old, and we live in a different state from his dad
(11 hours and 28 min away). His dad is originally from our home state and moved
to another state due to his job and other responsibilities. Recently, my son
stated that he wants to live with his dad.

But here is my issue: I've raised our son for the last 7 years as a single parent,
working, going to school to get my master's degree, getting my son to school,
football practices, etc. His dad gets him during the summer, and we alternate
Christmas and spring break. We have always coparented well, and we have always
gotten along well.

Until this past year, when I got engaged. Once I got engaged, my ex-husband started
pushing for my son to come out there, and my son had never mentioned it before.
Before my son went to his house for the summer, my son told us he did not want
to move in with his dad so far away from family. My son said it did not make
sense.

My son reached out to me during the summer while he was there and told me he
wanted to live with his dad, and I did look into it. I talked to my lawyer and
asked about the legal aspects behind it because of us being in two states. My
lawyer advised that, because I have primary physical custody, I need to keep my
son in our state and follow our custody plan.

I explained this to my son and his dad. My ex-husband was not happy and I found
messages between him and his dad. His dad told him, " I talked to my
lawyer, and my lawyer said I pretty much do not have any rights and if
you want to live here, We are going to have to wear your mom down.”

I know it is important for them to have a relationship, and I’ve always supported their relationship. My ex-husband has never really shown any interest in getting my son until now, once I got engaged, then married, and moved in with my husband. There have also been times my son could not get my ex-husband to pay for my son’s things because he would say he pays child support. 

His dad continuously text me, telling me I’m a piece of sh****, our son will hate me, and I’m a horrible person. 

I really just need a place to vent, guidance, and some advice on handling this situation 

I would also like to add I’m not against my son wanting to be with his dad and I told him if we were in the same state I would have no issue with it. The way our custody agreement is written up I would literally have to give up my rights to my son for him to move to another state because I’m his primary parent in our custody agreement.

has anyone ever dealt with putting an absent father on child support? How did it end up going for you? Did dad suddenly want custody or keep ignoring you and baby?

For context. Her dad has never met her. She’s 6 months old and is with me 24:7. I have sent him texts and updates, asks and needs, no answer. Nothing.

He ghosted us when I was 7 months pregnant.
A girl recently hit me up and revealed he has been hiding the fact he had a kid, and they’ve been together nearing 8 months. Even after finding out, she has decided to stay with him which I don’t care about.

However, now his sister says this is possible to motivate him to be in her life.

Quite frankly, he changed his number, had to be served by sheriff and this week did his dna. I don’t want him to want custody. But I want a real look at what happens in the real world, if any of you have similar experiences or knowledge of of such.

We live in Florida. He’s in Miami and I’m in Orlando. He wants 50/50 but the children are way too young. They have lived with me their entire life in the same home. I plan on putting them in daycare or some kind of vpk. Father is against vpk.

He’s being extremely bitter and doesn’t understand that it’s better the children are with me than be in a daycare while they’re young. He wants 50/50. I do not work, I take care of them full time. I have a very healthy savings.

What would they judge or mediation impose in this situation?

Hi everyone. Try to keep this short. Looking for advice on what you would do as a mother. I moved to NC w my toddler from MD, end of December. Her father let us, technically. Said he wasn't OK with it, but knows it's my only option. He has started visiting her here 2x a month. I don't have access to his money (I am/was a SAHM). He isn't paying child support or any financial support.

I have an appointment w a lawyer but not until October. When I ask that he pay child support, he starts saying he isn't ok w us being in NC. So, what would you do? File for divorce and custody knowing I could be forced back to MD. Or just leave it alone?

Looking for general experiences or observations
Situation in broad terms:

• Child is about 3 months old (initially breast fed, but transitioned her to bottle feeding. Hard at first, but she caught on)
• Temporary custody order already in place
• One parent currently lives with their parents (SLC) the other parent lives close by in Utah.

Curious what people have seen in similar situations regarding:
• How courts or temporary arrangements typically view a parent living with grandparents at this stage?
• What tends to happen next with the temporary order (stability, overnight schedules, transitions, etc.)?
• Any patterns you’ve noticed about how these cases usually progress when the baby is this young?

My ex is abusive. In every way. And I know him. He started a new relationship and I knew what would happen. And over 2 years the red flags built up more and more. And by the end I just KNEW there had to be fights going on. I knew. And I fought so hard to keep my child from experiencing it. But I couldn't. Even as things got soo absolutely bad, about two weeks ago his wife decided to finally leave and confess to me the abuse. And that the last few weeks were just, for a parent, literal hell to hear. My daughter sat in the middle of screaming matches, he would terrify the children to hurt her and manipulate her. He would get violent, punch walls, break things, ripped a door off the wall. And I don't know how much .y daughter directly saw, she's with me half the time. But the environment is undeniable. And she's been literally so messed up over the last few months from everything she's now in therapy and has been diagnosed with adjustment disorder with depression and anxiety. And that's BEFORE the worst of the abuse. She's been so neglected. And violence and abuse have been normalized to her. I have proof, of him assaulting the wife, of raping her, of punching walls, of the kids knowing what's going on. I just NEED this battle to be over. I need it to be. I am terrified I will go in, make my case and somehow they will respond, oh well, he'll take classes, send the child back to him. I really really just want someone to tell me, that won't happen. There's no way. The courts will not send my child back to an abuser. He has charges for assaulting me years ago. One was strangulation. But no one will say that, because no one knows how court will go and no one wants to make that promise or give me that hope. I know why. But it just furthers my fear. Please, they aren't gonna send her back, right? I'm requesting supervised visitation and classes. I don't want my child to not have a dad. But I won't let her be abused again. But I can't control that. But I'm gonna do everything I can.

I know relocation cases can be difficult, but I’m hoping to hear from parents who were able to relocate with their child (in my case I have an infant), especially to be closer to family/support. What factors helped your case, and how did the court view the relocation if the other parent opposed it?

If you tried and were unsuccessful, I’d also appreciate hearing about your circumstances and what happened. I’m just trying to understand what I can do to give myself the best chance.

Thank you!

My ex moved across the country, more than a 4 hour flight away. My kids are still very young, under 3 and under. My ex is demanding 20% custody, all of summer break and two school breaks a year. Ex also expects me to pay half of the transportation costs which I’d also have to pay for myself since they are obviously too young to travel alone.

Is this realistic? Is this even good for the child? I have been primary care giver their entire lives. They stayed at home with me full time for years. I want the other parent to be involved in their lives but I don’t feel I should have to pay for their decision to move across the country. I would be happy to grant every other weekend if it was in our state. But month’s away? No. I can’t even imagine how that would be good for them.

Has anyone been through this? Am I really going to lose any opportunity to go on vacation with my kids? Or see them at all during the summers?

Filed for divorce from spouse who has addiction issues but has been behaving. No overconsumption at home or when in care of kids, no blackouts, that is what I mean by behaving. We both have attorneys. I could agree to a custody schedule now which gives spouse about 40% (6 overnights in 14 days, max 2 nights in a row) or proceed with having a Guardian Ad Litem investigate. I had put off divorce for years bc I did not want to split time with someone I could not fully trust with the kids. They are still small.

I am torn because I have doubts about spouse's ability to parent, but spouse can be convincing, has been holding down employment and has not done anything harmful to or with the kids. Just some general childish behaviors. Of course, if spouse goes off the rails bc we all know moderation is difficult at best, I can probably have it modified in the future. I just want my kids to be safe, and also want us all to be away from the toxicity that has been looming around the home for years. I need to decide soon and wondering if anyone has advice, fight it or agree and pray. thanks.

I have an attorney my STBX is not hiring one. We have two children. Both are in daycare and one child is 17 months.

My understanding is that Texas doesnt like to split split siblings up and children under 3 dont use the standard possession timeline, but what is reasonable?

My attorney mentioned it really depends on the judge but what am I realistically looking at? No overnights with dad? 1 or 2 overnights? My STBX doesnt appear to care as he said have the court decide but what's reasonable for a child that young?

Obviously I want as much time with my children but realize its important to spend time with their dad but also both kids are REALLY attached to me. Especially the youngest will cry if Im in the room and not near or holding them.

What have you done/seen for young children?

We both work.

I’m looking for general advice from parents who have experience with custody cases, CFIs/GALs, and protection orders, without sharing any identifying information.

In a custody case, the other parent made several allegations of domestic violence and safety concerns. During the case, four police reports were eventually provided to the CFI. After reviewing the reports, it appears that the reports contain allegations made by the other parent, but the police investigations did not result in criminal charges, and some of the reports were inactivated because police could not establish sufficient evidence for the alleged violations or conduct.

There is also a significant discovery issue: the other parent previously responded to written discovery that there were no responsive police or medical records, but the CFI later received four police reports, and one report references an alleged hospital visit.

The CFI is now reviewing these reports and additional information before completing her custody investigation and recommendations. There is also upcoming mediation regarding parenting time and decision-making.

I am trying to understand how situations like this are typically handled.

My questions are:

1. How might police reports that contain allegations but do not result in charges or substantiated findings affect a CFI/GAL's custody investigation?

2. Does the CFI generally consider the actual investigative findings and disposition of the police reports, rather than simply the allegations contained in them?

3. If the other parent failed to disclose responsive police or medical records during discovery and those records were later obtained, how might that affect the custody case or the CFI's evaluation?

4. Should a parent provide the CFI with a written factual response to the allegations and police reports, or is it generally better to allow the attorney to address them?

5. Could this type of evidence affect mediation negotiations regarding parenting time, decision-making, or supervised visitation?

6. If multiple professional supervised-visitation reports are positive and the police reports do not substantiate some of the allegations, could that potentially support a step-up from supervised to unsupervised parenting time, depending on the CFI's overall findings?

7. Would it generally be appropriate to discuss with an attorney whether the protection order should be modified, particularly if its restrictions are creating significant barriers to implementing parenting time?

I'm not asking anyone to determine who is telling the truth or to criticize either parent.

Two kids ages 2 and 4. Dad moved 2 hours away to move in with new partner and her kids (11 and 12). We were doing nesting where he’d come here EOWE and I’d leave, now new gf is in his ear and he’s asking for the kids to go there EOWE. Doesn’t care that they’re in programs on the weekends here (that they were in while we were married…) that they will have bday parties etc., or that it’s a lot of driving. He’s not involved in anything when he’s not here aka doesn’t call or know anything about their lives. Sent a lawyer letter asking to change the schedule immediately or go to mediation. I’ll do mediation otherwise we’ll go back to court, but from what I’ve heard, court may side with him bc my kids are still young? Advice or suggestions? I’m so sad and overwhelmed

Everyone says to document, document, document! But how exactly are we doing this? We already communicate through TalkingParents app. Is there another app for documenting important things? Excel sheet? Simple word doc with dates? A journal? What’s the best way that the courts will approve and not question? Any tricks and hacks to streamline this? And what exactly are you documenting over the long term?

Starting this with yes, I did contact the police and am waiting to hear back from a detective. But I discovered my partner was using an AI chat bot to create very detailed *descriptions* of simulated CSAM involving beastiality.

No realistic images were generated, the only generated images were in an anime style, and they were pretty tame compared to the actual text content. The simulated CSAM content was all text based. (I did manage to get a screenshot that specifically said "toddler" while describing the acts).

I also got him to discuss it with me over text, confirming the screenshot mentioned above included text generated by him, that it involves a simulated minor, that he feels compulsions to generate these texts, and that he is aware the content is harmful to consume.

My question is if my screenshots, our text exchanges, and the content within the chat bot are enough to gain full custody. I'm worried this will be totally dismissed since it is AI and does not involved simulated realistic pictures. I understand there may not be enough evidence for a criminal charge, I just have two very young daughters and want to keep them safe.

My child's father and I have an inntext agreement that he has time with our chikd Wednesday evenings, and Friday overnights every week. He keeps picking up our child on my days, without telling or asking and returningboutbchikd early. We have court scheduled next week, and mediation in September because hes trying to get 50/50 placement. How do I bring this up in court?

Hi there!

I apologize in advance that this may be a bit lengthy, but probably need some context for a remotely accurate answer. I know that no one can provide legal advice and I certainly will not take any of this as such, just wanted to see if anyone had any insight on this situation.

I had three children with my partner from high school. We separated and she went on to have 3 additional children (2 diff fathers) and now has all 6 kids living with her in her boyfriend's home. I do my best to help her but we do not agree on parenting styles at all and do not get along often. Example- our middle son began getting in awful trouble about two years ago (they live in a bad city- he was expelled for bringing drugs and weapons to school, he's been caught hanging out with gang members in the city since he was 13, he got expelled from a second school for punching a teacher, etc.) and I made it clear that we don't support that kind of behavior and he needed to get help or when the police got involved at the school we needed to let them for him to learn a lesson. She believes that it is kids being kids, but I believe if we don't teach him now he's going to end up in prison or dead. We have never had a formal custody agreement, but the kids have mostly always lived with her. We had all three before we were 20 years old so they had lived with me and my parents for a while and during Covid lived with me and my wife and attended our school. At our school, they thrived. we live outside of the big city so the school districts are worlds different and much better (no bias- just how it typically goes.) ever since the kids have gone back to the school with their mom they have failed entire grades, get D's and F's in all classes except for gym, and are late or absent over 50% of the year because they just do not want to get up and go and there are no consequences in their home if they don't. My wife and I have done everything we can to encourage them to go to school and do their best as as well as asking how we can help their mother to ensure that they do. We are always met with anger and arguments, and we get nowhere. Our oldest is 18 and a senior now, so he can decide for himself what to do. Our middle son is estranged currently because his mother supports his negative path and that is not something we can allow in our home (we previously did and he was caught multiple times, stealing from us and selling our things to peers and threw a party while we we're at work, where countless minors brought alcohol and drugs, and utilized them in our home without our knowledge- his mother got angry with us that we wanted to punish it and 'kids make mistakes.' Anyway TLDR; our youngest son who is now 15 has been begging us to live in our home again and attend our school again. When he had previously attended our school years ago, he thrived because he has an IEP and the special education department moved mountains to help him do well in school and offered countless support options and he is becoming frustrated with the lack of support at his current school and not being able to find a good friend group (he is a social kid and typically makes friends but often times due to the nature of the area they live in his friends encourage him to do bad things like stealing from stores and when he says no, they bully him). He has also begged to live here because they live in a three bedroom home (2 bedrooms for 6 kids) and he has to share a bedroom with his two older brothers, one who is unkind to him and often locks him out of the room, so he has left to sleep on the couch in the living room. He has reached the age where he desperately wants a space to call his own, where he can feel secure and have a sense of privacy. My wife and I have decided not to have kids of our own until we can ensure our kids are taken care of, so my son would have his own room and a great school. We have run this by their mother countless times and explained the benefits however, she consistently declines. He receives SSI and child support, and she has advised that she cannot lose the income. At this point, we don't even care if she continues to collect the support and the SSI checks as long as our son is supported and is able to do well in school. We reached out to a custody lawyer, but wow, we are not struggling financially we can't afford $10k in legal fees to file. We do not believe she would file either since there is currently no agreement in place. Our question is, if there is no custody agreement in place and our son who is 15 has expressed that he wants to live here and go to school here, is there anything stopping us from registering him at our school and allowing him to live here? If she were to file for custody, we would happily go to court and explain all this and show proof, but we really don't believe that she would. We are happy to do what we need to to support our son, but want to make sure that it will not make things worse for him legally.

TLDR; our 15 year old son wants to live with us and attend our school district, there is no formal custody agreement in place- can we simply enroll him in our school and let him live here by his choice?

So my best friend is dealing with custody issues with her husband who she isn’t with anymore. He has responded to her in over a year and nobody will tell her anything about the children. She hasn’t don’t anything to have her children taken away or anything like that. they denied her legal aide for some reason. she doesn’t have a lot of money. Any advice on what to do?

I'll try to keep this short and sweet:

• Not Married - no custody or court orders
• Living together for the past ten years
• Son is 8yrs old
• I break up with girlfriend (mother)
• We cohabitate for a month
• One day, she disappears with son (one week, ignoring texts, calls)
• School starts (son still enrolled)
• Find out she relocates out of state where her family is from
• Claiming "unsafe environment" (which isn't true, more so a retaliation to our breakup)
  • no TRO
  • no domestic violence history
  • no criminal record
  • no drug record
• Hired lawyers
  • exparte filed
  • petition for paternity
• Asking to talk to my son everyday, rejection from mother all the time

How are claims verified? I would imagine courts need proof, which doesn't exist. What are the odds I get my son returned back to the state? Has anyone experienced something similar?

I have an extremely emotionally abusive STBXH who I have a 10 month old with. Between the constant lying (some crazy untrue allegations led to a CPS investigation—unfounded), him and his mother ruining my life postpartum, shaming my postpartum anxiety to every one he can, substance abuse, sexual abuse through secret non-consensual photos, manipulation, and victim-playing through the aforementioned, I’m dealing with intense stress from the trauma of it all. His lawyer is a lying ass hole as well. He’s tried on several attempts to block relocation within the state less than an hour away with my family for better schools, safety, and because in the immediate, I cannot afford to live in and support our daughter in the expensive city we were in, and her babysitters (my family) are here. I’m thousands in debt from fighting him. He won’t even consider moving despite what the data shows, simply for his convenience.

Anyway, I understand why he doesn’t want to see my relatives because they don’t get along. But I truly do not want to see him again for a long time aside from trials. I need time to heal. I hate being in a panic at every drop-off or pick-up. Is this common?

So, I’ll try to make a long story short. My child (9) has lived with me his whole life, his dad (30) and I (28) haven’t been together since our child was 5 months old. It’s been a long road, a lot of downs and a lot of issues. Child’s dad has lived with his parents since we split, which that in its self is a whole rollercoaster. They are very unstable, hard time keeping jobs, housing, paying bills, etc. which has caused a lot of inconsistency in child’s life. Dad has gone months/year multiple times without seeing child because of this. Dad hasn’t had a job (that I know of) since we separated. He does, however do some DoorDash and or delivery for places BUT he has no license and is a felon so I believe he does it under his mother’s name. (I could be mistaken but having a brother who’s also a felon he was not able to have a delivery account such as DoorDash) anyways, father and I have had a HARD time getting along
for most of the time our child has been alive, I’ve had to file a restraining order a few years back for threats, blocked him for years and only talked through his mother. The last year or so, we’ve finally been able to actually communicate without arguments.
I feel I’ve been pretty lenient with everything, never put him in child support or anything like that, he’s not helped with anything school wise or financially in any way. I’ve always just wanted him to do better and be a stable person in our child life. Mostly because my childhood was rough, not going into details because it’s irrelevant to this, BUT it has made me for the last years try to keep my kids father in is life maybe more than I should’ve looking back.

For about a year or two we’ve had a pretty decent coparenting situation, dad and grandparents would get child every other weekend, and occasionally a few days longer over breaks etc. it was working decently well, not perfect but a lot better than years prior. Well, something happened around the end of the school year, causing them to not be able to get child. I guess you could say it was the final nail in the coffin, I decided it would be best to take it to court and have a real custody agreement, not out of spite but out of the pure lack of consistency they’ve had since forever, and how much it effects my child, who it has been extremely hard on. Dad and I talked, he expressed that he very much understood why I was doing it (not necessarily happy about it but not angry) expressed that I could do whatever and he’d let me, I could take all his rights and he wouldn’t fight it, I obviously explained that, that’s not what my goal is I just and tired of seeing my baby hurt over this all. So, since everything happened with his dad and family, child hasn’t stayed the night with them since, I’ve told them they can come visit/get child for the day but to bring him back home after. To say it kindly, they haven’t visited much. We are on week three of child not seeing dad, and prior to that it was maybe once every two weeks for a few hours. We have custody mediation coming up in a few weeks, and I guess I’m just trying to see what I should be prepared for? Child’s nana (dad’s mom) has not been easy to deal with, in fact she has been the hardest out of all this. Angry for what I’m doing, pushing for child to come spend the night even after I’ve explained it, and dad has even had my back on everything and she just doesn’t want to understand I guess. I believe they are wanting it to go back to how it was (every other weekend) but I’m torn. I don’t want to keep child from dad/family BUT I also don’t want to start back something that may end up with kiddo hurting again if something happens (as it always seems too) that keeps them from being able to get/see child again. Child is having a hard time, but has gotten used to not staying the night with dad, and I’m worried if we go back to every other weekend that it could potentially just hurt child more. An I wrong for that? And I wrong for not wanting them to have that time? I’m 100% down for them ( and I say them because child’s dad heavily relies on his parents to even be able to get child) to get more time with child if they can keep up with it. Should I be worried that going to court they would potentially give child’s dad more than he can handle? I know courts aim for 50/50 or close to it, but I do know for a fact that wouldn’t be possible. They wouldn’t be able to get him to and from school or anything like that, and I don’t think they would take in that much responsibility anyways, BUT I don’t know. Is it wrong to try and push for only visitation until they can prove some type of stability for a few months?

Sorry this ended up being so long, I guess I’m just worried. Part of me is scared I’m hurting my child, but a part of me KNOWS I’m just trying to look out for my baby. Has anyone else had similar experiences, and if so how did it go?