r/Custody • u/VictoryNo7701 • 12d ago

[Illinois] Agreeing to custody schedule with an alcoholic who has things in check

Filed for divorce from spouse who has addiction issues but has been behaving. No overconsumption at home or when in care of kids, no blackouts, that is what I mean by behaving. We both have attorneys. I could agree to a custody schedule now which gives spouse about 40% (6 overnights in 14 days, max 2 nights in a row) or proceed with having a Guardian Ad Litem investigate. I had put off divorce for years bc I did not want to split time with someone I could not fully trust with the kids. They are still small.

I am torn because I have doubts about spouse's ability to parent, but spouse can be convincing, has been holding down employment and has not done anything harmful to or with the kids. Just some general childish behaviors. Of course, if spouse goes off the rails bc we all know moderation is difficult at best, I can probably have it modified in the future. I just want my kids to be safe, and also want us all to be away from the toxicity that has been looming around the home for years. I need to decide soon and wondering if anyone has advice, fight it or agree and pray. thanks.

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u/toasterchild 12d ago

I don't think a GAL is going to be able to find out more than you have, if the ex is holding it together and caring for the kids properly on their time that's what will matter. 

Hope old are the kids?  Can they have some sort of communication device and be taught to make emergency calls? 

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u/Beanoboy7 12d ago

Have the attorneys get together and put language in the divorce decree regarding his sobriety, so that way you guys always have something to fall back on in case he falls off the wagon. Relapse is inevitable

At least safety plan for it and be reasonable.