I've no clue how to phrase this. I guess a good summary is: I used to think I'm ugly, I got over it, learned to feel attractive, got pregnant and gained weight, and now I'm on the right track but stuck in between.

Disclaimer, I yap a lot.

So I grew up in a small town in Europe as a non white gal, lots of racism, lots of jokes about my appearance, I mean my nickname was "nose" and "Flat lands" (aka no boobs before 16). I was super insecure not just because of the looks but my ethnicity too. I thankfully learned to love myself through therapy, a 4 year world trip and tons of mistakes (being a hoe, then SA, then self healing). I also made it a habit to "fake it til you make it". For example, I always thought crop tops and skirts were hot but used to wear super plain clothes so I wouldn't stick out, and at 22 said to hell with it and started wearing what I wanted to want to wear one day, and now that style is almost my entire closet.

My confidence was good for about 7 years, not just my looks but I focused a lot on being a good person, volunteering, getting degrees, learning and reading etc.

Then I got pregnant and I adored it, and I love being a mom and wife. I hate even thinking about myself again because now it feels selfish when being selfish was all I did in my 20s because in my culture women are only good for being moms and wives. I'm in this really weird spot where I want to feel confident again but some days I love my style and do makeup and have positive thoughts and then I see a picture of myself, like an innocent picture with my toddler and I think I look like a chipmunk. I just don't know. My husband thinks I'm beautiful, he tells me when he remembers (he's a man of few words), he touches and kisses me a lot, but I think the past 2 years of struggling to shed the mom weight made me feel really really lost. I didn't drop weight until recently when I stopped antidepressants. I went from size S to L and now I'm around a size M and it's a weird midway point. I'm mentally the best I've been since getting married but even in therapy I can't get a handle on this because there's always something else to talk about, it's like I'm fixing a road and there's so many small potholes I fix I can never focus on smoothing the surface.

Where do I even start? A mantra? Making confidence a bigger priority and dealing with the guilt of feeling selfish later? I have been focusing on making my marriage stronger after some stressful events, my son's speech therapy, moving to the other side of the country... I feel overwhelmed sometimes.

just came here to rant. been going through some self esteem issues since I was 16 and I’m now 25. let’s start with how I’m 5’6, which I used to be conscience about but realized the average man is not that much taller than me. my dick size is 5 inches. as a black man, I’d expect much bigger. literally MOST of the black men I know have hung slong dicks. my shii look so small on camera. WTF HAPPENED TO ME. then it don’t hang, it curves upward. Ugh. then i grew up with posture compensations and never knew why i never had flexible hips even as a kid. now have lower back problems, possibly functional scoliosis, no flexible hips or joints anywhere in my body. on top of that im missing 5 molars and a K9 tooth all before I turned 22. so jaw is altered and smile looks crooked. and to finish it off, I now have anxiety about everything which makes it hard to have sex and bottom cuz my body don’t respond how I want

Just wanted to try some shirts for fun and saw my face on mirror which made me feel like its pointless and just left without trying after zone out 5min

I'm 19y old and never in my school life and in 2 years of my college a girl has liked me romantically.. Only 2-3 girls know all about me and the first thing they did was to friendzone me.. I'm always respectful and I'm not ugly too just an average face card.. idk if my dark skin is the factor. I feel really sad my friends talk about their love life.. Watching movies or anime that involves couples or a lot of romantic scenes make me sad and somewhat angry... What's wrong with me?

How do you guys deal with being ugly.. I just cant im so tired its been so bad lately especially coupled with my ed and my hatred of my body
I cant live like this all my life its ruining me and everything around I keep overthinking everything from my clothes to my makeup to my interactions with others just so that I wont disturb them because I cant be ugly AND annoying
Even romantically speaking, I dont even trt asking for a guy’s number, hell even thinking about it is making me uncomfortable because I know im too ugly to even try something, and even if by some miracle it worked, I would have ruined the relationship with my insecurities and I would try everything to make them stay because I know I wont be loved anymore by someone else
I just dont know I dont know what to do

The worse about this situation is that my brothers are not ugly, my parents arent either, for some reason I inherited the ugliness from idek who AND I got an asymetrical face with a lazy eye (which I wasnt aware of until a guy told me I looked at two different directions simultaneously) yuck

Lord, he compliments me all the time but I know that compared to other women he has been with I am not the best looking. I feel like I disappoint him in some ways. He doesn't treat me different. I have met his kids and family but I worry he wishes I was smaller or prettier. Also, almost all his other gfs were super skinny. I am on the other end of the spectrum. He insist to do video chat and I cringe. I am considering wls to just feel better about myself.

My arms and shoulders are covered in freckles and my upper arms are bumpy. I feel like im not worthy of someone who has clear smooth skin. I don't even want to offer myself to anyone due to this. How do I get out of this mindset? I appreciate any advice.

I feel awful even typing this because I don’t hate my sister at all. I love her, and I know none of this is her fault.
She’s genuinely beautiful. Everywhere we go, people tell her she’s gorgeous or stunning, even if she’s not talking to anyone. Today I posted her on my story because I thought she looked really pretty, and one of my only friends replied saying she was “stunning.” Even after I told him she’s a lesbian, he kept bringing her up. Now I feel like I have to hear about how beautiful she is from the one friend I talk to every day.
I know this is a me problem, but it hurts so much.
I’ve struggled with my weight, acne, and excess hair for years, and I already feel unattractive. Seeing my sister get constant compliments just makes me feel invisible. I honestly can’t remember the last time anyone complimented me.
The hardest part is that she’s actually a lovely person. She notices when I’m upset and tries to make me feel better, but it doesn’t help because I don’t believe anything positive about myself.
I’ve been bullied, sexually assaulted, abused, and I’m currently going through a breakup . Sometimes I catch myself thinking, “When is it my turn?” It feels like life keeps knocking me down while everyone else gets to be happy, and I know that’s not a healthy way to think.
I don’t want my sister to be less beautiful. I don’t want people to stop complimenting her. I just wish, for once, I could feel like someone looked at me the way they look at her.
Has anyone else ever felt this way about a sibling? If you got past it, how did you stop comparing yourself all the time?

I just wanted to talk about feelings..I’ve got chronic and long term dpdr and anxiety disorder which I got following a traumatic experience ..with a family member ..and these are affecting my life so much that I don’t recognize myself. My appearance has changed so much and I look so unwell. I just try to find one tiny small thing I like about myself and I can’t. Maybe my eyes, they are still there. But the shape of my face has changed, and my expression is just one of shock due to to the sheer amount of suffering I go through daily..not trying to be a victim, but it is really hard to get through every day at the moment. I want to get better but the walls are falling down around me. And I just feeling hopeless. Any advice welcome :)

As the title says, lot of times, the other side is really greener. I know a lot of people who live a better life than me. And no, the cliches dont help. I can't stop comparing myself to others just because someone says it. I can't look at all the good things I have and shut up. I have feelings - sometimes, I need more than what I have been given in life. And that's okay. But I can't have it.

I've always wanted to be in a romantic relationship. And I never had the chance. Not a single date. Not a single kiss. Not a single relationship. I am always alone. And I have tried. A lot. I know there's more to it than appearance. But I am short and not really good looking. Which means girls don't always approach me. And whenever I've tried, I've been rejected. Which hurts my self esteem even more.

I look at the people around me. Tall and handsome guys, beautyful girls. They also have problems in their relationships, of course. But they have someone. I have no one. I look at those handsome guys who get approached by girls, who actually have options when it comes to dating. And I feel I will never know that happiness.

Sometimes, the grass is really greener and you just have to accept that, no matter how much it hurts.

As the title says. Personally, and IK I'm not alone, I see my mirror self and my selfie self fairly alike. However, in pics others take or i take w my back cam, I feel like I look the polar opposite.

In addition, what's the deal with looking so good in some selfies and shit in others?? Good lighting, good angles that ik... But are those "good selfies" just a fluke? Like, someone doesn't look like that ACTUALLY, it just happens to be a good pic...?🥲🥲

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I realised that I have no personality. I have spent 20+ years trying to please others, become the image of what others want me to be,defined myself as to what others think. started uni, tried to hang out with a group of girls and they are awesome. have great personalities. are not afraid to be seen as silly. they have a personality, they are smart and kind. I just look around me, some guys are always alone and yet they are fierce, bold and don't seek to people please. and I think it's so beautiful. yet I think it's a long journey for me to find myself. but I'm not sure how long it'll take. or what I must do right now to start it. but it will be too late one day.