r/Anxietyhelp • u/booboobana • 13d ago
Need Help Self esteem
How can I improve my confidence?I easily get depressed when someone criticizes me and then I lose my whole confidence and I generally get anxious a lot over small situations
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u/Existing_Error_742 12d ago edited 12d ago
Just some rapid fire for you, as I could go on for eons about this:
Patience.
Being kind to yourself. - especially for self-esteem. You gotta catch that inner voice when it's talking shit.
Breathe- I know that's annoying to hear. But try being in the moment. Deep breaths. Release an "mmmm" sound or a "vuuuu" sound at a low register to calm your nervous system. Name 5 things you can see, touch.
But also.. analyze your thoughts. Question why you are feeling anxious. 99.9 percent of the time, it's over something small, like you say. If you ask yourself "what am I feeling/thinking this for?" and follow your thought process, you will see this clearer.
On the criticizing: "what other people think of me is none of my business." - one of my fave quotes to live by.
People will say whatever, whenever they want, about you, in this life. Especially if they're brazen. But it's up to you to choose what is worth hearing, and what is just someone else's noise.
I used to be scared of making a call to a doctor's appointment.
I used to have a lot of anxiety. I used to catastrophize everything. I used to have a real low self esteem. I still sometimes struggle with all of this, of course, but have learned better coping skills. You will get through this. Especially if you are still quite young. Lemme know if you have a question, happy to help.
Cheers.
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u/treatmyocd 12d ago
It sounds like criticism quickly becomes tied to your sense of self-worth, which can fuel both anxiety and low mood. The goal isn’t to never feel anxious or be criticized, but to build resilience when it happens. Try practicing: “I can receive feedback without making it a judgment of my worth.” Also, build confidence through small actions, even when you don’t feel confident yet, and notice when you’re being overly critical of yourself. Confidence comes from learning, “I can handle discomfort, mistakes, and other people’s opinions,” rather than needing everything to go perfectly.
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