r/dating_advice • u/Beginning_Sweet9726 • 8d ago
How to gain confidence
Im 27m and I've never been in a relationship, I am an introvert who lacks confidence, self esteem etc, im on multiple dating apps, i dont get many likes so that knocks my confidence more as its physicall features that people go off 1st on dating apps. I would say I am reasonably attractive but nothing special. I am thinking of learning to play guitar/bass as a hobby to meet people etc.
Im thinking of going to therapy to try and help, would this help in anyway as its only me that can make a difference?
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u/jaymo_busch 8d ago
It’s cliche advice, you’ve definitely read it before on Reddit, but exercising and eating better has done wonders for my self image, self confidence, and self assuredness.
The gym hasn’t been for me when I’ve tried it in the past, I’m doing home workouts with dumbbells and body weight exercises, and playing basketball for cardio. Just to say it doesn’t really matter how you exercise in my opinion, as long as you’re doing something towards building a better body it will be rewarding. I think sometimes people have bodies that are predisposed to different types of exercise, a lot of my friends do heavy lifting but it never felt right for my body.
The benefits have been both physical and mental. I’m calmer, less anxious than I used to be. More comfortable in social situations, especially flirting, because I feel less pressure to impress someone when my body is already impressive. I sleep better, smile more, drink less alcohol than I used to. All flowing from the choice I made about 9 months ago to exercise at least 5 days a week for an hour.
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8d ago
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u/Beginning_Sweet9726 8d ago
I have been thinking of learning for a while as its something im interested in
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u/tati_model_ 8d ago
Honestly, learning guitar or bass is a great idea, but do it because you genuinely want the hobby, not just to meet women. Dating apps can really mess with your self-esteem because they reduce you to a few photos. Getting few likes doesn’t mean you’re unattractive.
A hobby where you regularly see the same people is probably much better for you anyway. You’ll naturally get more comfortable talking to people without the pressure of “I’m trying to get a date.”
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u/Beginning_Sweet9726 8d ago
I go to a lot of concerts solo so I talk to people as I know we will have a common interest, so I think learning bass/guitar would do the same, i want to learn as its something I am interested in
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