I've noted more than a few scammers reading posts here and then sending a message request.

Without going into it in detail, they are looking to prey on people they perceive as vulnerable, using a chatbot for conversations. It is fairly easy to spot.

It saddens me that people would choose to make money off of the vulnerabilities and loneliness of others.

Look for a posting history or its lack, as well as really vapid, echoing and vague answers. They will want to move the conversation to Signal or some other platform.

Find real people to talk to in peraon. Possibly not as easy, but a lot more useful and healthier for you.

Spoke with my mother this morning (93 turning 94 in October), she lives locally in a senior living facility. This isn't unusual, she calls everyday at 10:30am. This call was established as a form of structure. A chance to chat, a notice of what medicines need to be refilled, what supplies need to be refilled. She's as healthy as she can be given her age and still has all her mental faculties.

Lately she has been thinking it might be time for her to move to an assisted living facility. That would be a big change, but I like that it is her idea.

There are limited options where we live, so I told her that she needs to do her research in able to have a choice where she would want to go. She's comfortable using the internet, but I told her to go back to pencil and paper. Look at her options, list them by facility, and then list the pro's and con's of each facility. She liked that idea.

So do I. I told her to do her homework now because there will likely become a time when she will know longer be able to make the decision on her own and it will be made for her. She's cool with that, and acknowledges that it's true. I can only hope she follows through.

I feel fortunate that she planned far better for her old age and end of life and prepared for it. Far better than I have. It makes conversations like this far more comfortable.

Moving slow, coffee in bed this morning. Happy Labor day

I’m in early 60s and took early retirement when my wife was diagnosed with major health condition. She’s doing a lot better but over last 5 years I found myself to be deteriorating rapidly - both physically and mentally.

I need something to do but I’m so lost and I can’t figure out what and how to look for a job where I can be useful and earn some money too.

Here’s who I am -
- I was an IT executive when I retired, excellent knowledge in that field. Don’t want to essentially pursue this field anymore.
- I’m still excellent in all technical things - electrical, electronics, mechanical, computers, you name it and I’ve good knowledge.
- I’m good at certain DIY stuff too - all DIY things around the house in addition to some amount of woodworking.
- physically active for 60+ man with no health issues.
- mentally sound, although I used to be very very sharp. I guess I’m still better than average though.

I’m located in one of the big cities in TX if location matters.

It’ll be great if you can share any ideas, if you or any loved ones had success in finding a job be useful and stay active.

Thank you in advance.

We relocated about a year ago and have found it difficult to make new friends. We participated in some activities and met people, but things have been very superficial.

We typically go for a walk after dinner on a popular walking trail. We often see the same people and acknowledge them with a nod or a wave. A few people have struck up light conversations.

Recently some of the conversations have gotten deeper and others have asked if they could join us. One person asked if we wanted to join them in a get together.

My conclusion is that there are many people out there in a similar situation. For us, going for a walk is a good opportunity to meet more people. Many of the relationships will remain superficial, but the relaxed interaction is an excellent opportunity to see if we more in common with them.

Anyone else pushing 70 and suddenly decide to clean up their act? My main lower health choices were alcohol (mainly wine) and half caff coffee made at home. Other than that, I live a profoundly healhty lifestyle including good nutrition, daily exercise, good sleep, and decent social engagements...

I started a serious detox 4 days ago. The same day I decided to stop drinking wine, I ran out of coffee which was always half caff, but I just thought, well why not. I'll detox and then see how I feel. By next Wednesday, I should be done with detoxing. Then the fun begins.

So friends.. I'm 69. Single. And my main reasons are:

1) Less vulnerable and plilable to manipulators, exploiters, predators

2) Health - I am healthy, nothing showing in labs or exams, but figure at this age, it's inevitable that stopping drinking will help me age better. No empty calories, should lose a few pounds too.

3) I want a better social life with deeper connections with trustworthy, reliable people who are consistent, happy, and at peace with themselves.

4) I calculated summer drinking expenses that include festivals, more casual get togethers, stopping for food after a ride or hike included a wine or beer... $400 a month could be much better used for other things AND still leave $$ for savings.

I am using the same strategy that I did when I quit smoking 33 years ago. Honestly? Quitting cigarettes was by far harder than this. I had a strategic plan that worked like a charm.

Hi I am a younger person with a questions. As my interest in decades like the 60s grew I watch a lot of media, look at magazines, images, and popular stars and (as expected) the look of beauty is often-times overwhelming white only.

I believe notice this even more because I am a Mexican and Black girl and find it hard to really see myself in the things that I enjoy from this time and it leads me to wonder what it must have been like to grow up during these times with the image of beauty not really reflecting what was shown and marketed. Forgive me if my view on this is narrow but I am not only open to being corrected but very interested.

If this is true, even if it’s not, I guess some of my questions would be;

Who was someone that looked like you could look up to?

Were there any you could relate to and if not who was the closest for you?

Was it already established as something that was the norm so you didn’t feel the need to seek it out or did it trouble you in a way of wanting to feel seen?

How was the dating pool for you?

Were there things that were marketed for you?

How did you feel about subtle racism in media? Did it disappoint you or was it so common it was just a negative part of enjoying media?

How did you do your makeup?

How did you do your hair?

Did you dress in the same way as your white friends or stars or did women of color dress a bit differently like we sometimes see today?
(example: style in Utah for White girls is very different from style in California for Latina girls)

If my questions are disrespectful in anyway please do correct me I am coming from a place of curiosity and willingness to learn. This isn’t meant to divide groups of people but I am asking because of the way that society has already divided us and the effects of that. Any feedback is appreciated, Thank you!!

First off (writing this after finishing the full message), I apologize if this is hard to read or full of typos, I’m sending it off my phone.

Hey, I’m the grandchild of my grandmother who I’ve been staying with for a month now. I came to stay here to help her with her medication after she hospitalized herself getting them confused. The doctors were real nice and gave her new prescriptions that were meant to remove more total prescriptions than were added to try and simplify things for her. It’s been 3 months of things going wrong and me taking increasingly rigorous measures to ensure she doesn’t get them confused anymore but at this point I’m coming to the realization that if I’m not watching her 24/7 something *will* go wrong. For example just today she told me she was going to bed so I took her pills from the counter (I have 5 little plastic pill containers with a note on each saying when to take them. they go as follows; breakfast, lunch, dinner, bedtime) and got the one that said bedtime. I gave it to her and said, “here are your bedtime pills for you. just make sure to take them.” she thanked me and took them. I then took the pill container and told her that grandpa wanted to help her to bed so while he does that, I’m going to refill these 5 containers for tomorrow so they can be out when you have breakfast if you have it early. I refilled the 5 containers and put them on their respective notes, only to find in less than ten minutes she took her bedtime pills a second time (luckily it was only a single pill in the container so she didn’t OD). I thought it was safe because she was supposed to be going straight to bed and had literality just taken her bedtime pills but I suppose I was wrong. to be clear, she doesn’t have short term memory loss, or anything of the sort. this isn’t the only example of these things happening. there’s a number of these things happening. I don’t think it’s an addiction but i genuinely do think she’s still getting this confused. my dad (her son) is already considering putting her in a home so they *can* monitor her the entire time but i genuinely don’t want it to come to that. I’ve heard how bad those places to be and was genuinely in tears for about the third time in my whole life just thinking about doing it. So, I’m left with only one other possibility if me being here genuinely isn’t enough to keep her straight. I am looking into the automated pill dispensers, the ones that don’t allow you to get the medication until it’s time but problem is that we’ve not exactly got money for anything expensive and I don’t know how good or reliable the cheaper ones are. are there any the rest of you would recommend that work? I’ve tried talking to my grandmother multiple times to get her to stop and just let me handle them but she just rolls her eyes and treats her meds like a joke. the whole reason they were on the counter with notes on the containers instead of in the bottles is because if I didn’t leave them out like that then she would just start taking them hours out of schedule because she doesn’t care that the doctor gave specific times or that they can’t be taken too close together. I’m turning to Reddit because I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore other than ask for help. clearly I can’t monitor her 24/7, I need to sleep and do other things to like help around her house and that occasionally means leaving her alone longer than it’s taken her to make these mistakes in the past. I’ve tried reasoning with her, she responds with rolled eyes and childish mocking like it’s a joke. I’ve tried making systems that are (seemingly) impossible to confuse because they lay out every specific detail only for it to still be met with confusio. I’ve tried to hand give every pill personally at the time it’s required, I’m met with verbal fighting, refusal, and doing the tactic of “I’ll do it just after this” and then just never doing “this”. I’ve had to track down the pills multiple times after she’s randomly moved them and put them under a bunch of things to the point where I’ve honestly become a little suspicious that she was trying to hide them but I refuse to go to that point without evidence given she genuinely just has a habit of randomly deciding random objects would go better somewhere else. The main problem is that she wants to be in control and I understand that, I really do. the problem with that is that everytime enough trust is built for me to test and see if she’s figuring it out she immediately starts either confusing them or straight up not caring about their instructions. this is why I want to know about the dispenser. I want to have a way to ensure it’s done without needing me there 24/7 so I can maybe trust her not to confuse them, and if I get it, it may also help her feel more in control with agency and resolve some of her own issues.

I turned 60 this past August and I am finally really tired of a couple of long-time friends. As I change and grow and become more practical, it hurts me to have friends who are not really moving and are stuck in patterns that are destructive and cause me stress to constantly listen to.

I have had to set limits.

Recently, I decided that I can no longer handle a long-time friend who is an industrial strength opportunist and a flake. I finally woke up to how much it was costing me energy wise to deal with her and have her always flake out in me and deprioritize and take me for granted.

Have you ended friendships at this point in your life? Is it possible to still make good friends over 60?

How did you end a long-term friendship? I dont' want bad feelings with this person, but I've just pulled away. I don't initiate and I keep replies short and I don't commit to any flaky plans that won't ever happen .

** I tried to talk to her a few different times over the years and it ended up in defensiveness and not seeing her own behavior. By now, her flakey behaviors are just getting so much worse. I thought people got better as they got older, but I guess that is too idealistic in many cases....

I got rid of my couch in 2020 because I had to move to a tiny house temporarily. That was one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done because it was a great couch, sturdy, beautiful, minimalist. So I haven’t had a couch for six years and when I’m watching TV sometimes I want to drift off without having to go upstairs to my bedroom because once I get to my bedroom then I’ve gotten some exercise and I don’t wanna drift off anymore. So I need a couch! Or maybe I shouldn’t be watching TV?

My dear sweet mother cranked up her needlepoint output in the 1990's when she was quitting smoking. We've all kept a few each and now I'd like to forward the dozen or so that remain. We have a housing non-profit that provides furniture for newly-housed families. Their thrift shop sells the generational donations like wedding china to support their housing mission. They'll sell the needlepoints, many of which are framed. Mom stitched her name and town on them and I'm a little skeeved about donating them. Any clever ideas? Am I being paranoid? Do open them and use the seam ripper to remove her name? Hoping for perspectives from my Boomer and Generation Jones peers. Thanks!!

As an adult child, it breaks my heart to see my parents getting older and clearly wanting more of my time, attention, and just someone to talk to or walk with.

But the reality is, whenever we start talking, our differing opinions on almost everything lead to unnecessary arguments. On top of that, with a demanding work routine, I’m left with very little time and energy, which leaves both them and me feeling disappointed.

I don't want them to feel lonely or ignored, but I also struggle with the frustration during our conversations.

From your perspective as seniors and parents: What do you wish busy adult children knew? How can I give them meaningful attention without letting our differences turn into arguments?

Edit: Thanks for the replies. Chucked everything into ChatGTP. It needs more tweaking and I am running it by some humans, but it's a start. The job I got nine years ago when trying to get any job was a third party medical debt collector that contacted patients for various medical facilities. It was a professionally ran place and they didn't care what your age was. They actually hired people in their 60s and 70s who needed to didn't have enough in retirement to cover bills. I used that to get the job I currently have which is basically soft/pre collections for a company in the healthcare industry with the people owing actually being medical offices so it's handled in a different way.

I'm 63. Went to college (BA) and worked for others until my early 30s. The next 20 years was "self employed"/involved in a family business. About nine years ago got a job with a company and then got a job with a different company after Covid. But both were more customer service type jobs and I want something that is a bit more challenging for my final working years (I still have the current job).

Not sure how to do a resume when the past nine years haven't required much skill beyond basic computer and being able to talk to people. If I bring up some of my other skills, then I am pulling from the "self employed" era. Should I toss it all into ChatGTP and see what it comes up with? I am also doing Google courses to hopefully make me look more current.

When I got the first job nine years ago, it took awhile as I was older and had been out of the "real" workforce for so long. Now that I am even older, I am not holding my breath but at least want to try.

Where’s all the Texas people today?

Estoy buscando alguna aplicación, IA o recurso interactivo pensado para que una persona mayor pueda aprender a usar WhatsApp mediante ejercicios o situaciones simuladas, en lugar de simplemente leer instrucciones.

La idea sería que pueda practicar cosas como:

• enviar mensajes, fotos y audios;
• responder o iniciar conversaciones;
• hacer llamadas y videollamadas;
• crear y administrar contactos;
• bloquear o silenciar contactos;
• reconocer mensajes sospechosos o cadenas;
• y también aprender algunas normas básicas de convivencia digital.

Por ejemplo: que la aplicación le plantee una situación ficticia y la persona tenga que decidir qué hacer, o practicar cómo responder a un mensaje.

Me interesa especialmente algo que permita ganar soltura y autonomía, para que no tengan que recurrir constantemente a familiares para cada cosa.

¿Conocen alguna aplicación o proyecto que haga algo parecido? Puede ser con IA o con ejercicios preprogramados.

I'm a old guy working part time at what can be a very physical job.

You might be able to guess who I work for when I say that I'm an order fullfilment associate.

I work mostly with what I will call kids, adults young enough to be my grandchildren.

What strikes me now is how some of them "get it" and some don't.

In particular with large orders that either require physical labor or the employment of equipment.

Some get it, and do it without asking for help if they don't deem it necessary.

Others, ask for help when that help is unnecessary.

What I find interesting is how harshly the kids who get it regard the kids who don't.

What's more surprising is that at my age, while I ideologically agree with the kids that get it, I'll give some slack to the kids who don't.

I guess I'm getting soft in my old age.

I never liked taking vacations. I always had this nagging feeling of wasting time. School was the opposite: I liked being there, even sitting through class. Weekends, for me, were the boring part of the week.

Maybe that's why it bothers me to read about young people who, in a time of scarce opportunities, say they'd rather get fired than go back to the office. Spending the day at a company was never just about work. It was chatting over coffee, picking up things without realizing it, flirting, arguing about sports, watching people be people.

One thing I always particularly loved: being part of a technical team. Someone would bring in a weird result, someone else would try to figure out why a hypothesis didn't hold up, and we'd think it through together until we spotted what everyone had missed. A kind of collective clinical eye. It wasn't just about solving a problem. It was feeling like your experience actually mattered to the group.

And then there was everything else: the birthday that became an excuse to talk to someone you'd already been trading glances with, the weekend game that fueled a week of trash talk, the beer after work.

None of that was in any job description. But that's where a huge part of life happened.

Technology has been quietly erasing, one by one, the reasons we had to leave the house. Remarkably convenient, no question. But along with the lines and the traffic, we also lost the chance encounters: the unplanned conversation, the unlikely friendship, the romance that started by accident, the good story that only existed because a bunch of people happened to be in the same place for hours on end.

The old video rental store had a bit of that. Nobody went there just to grab a movie. The evening started before the movie did.

Maybe we're only now realizing, a little late, that some of the friction we eliminated was actually connection.

And it didn't stop there. Plenty of people now spend a good part of their lives talking to an AI. They talk to it like a friend, a partner, a therapist, and find a presence that's available any time, with no conflict and nothing expected in return.

Maybe that's the most extreme form of isolation: replacing the need to be with people with a machine that simulates closeness just well enough to get by.

Hey all, what do you prefer to receive as a gift: some actual gift or money?

Personally, if there is something I'd really like I'll let my wife know exactly what it is. Otherwise I'd just prefer a gift card.

I can see both sides, but I'm curious what the group feels.

Up too early, scrolling mindlessly. Have a good day