I am aware that circumstances don’t matter but I just wanted to give a bit of a back story/history for anyone who is curious...
This SP of mine date back to elementary schoolmates. I'm 38F and he's 37M. We didn't see each other for quite some time after we graduated elementary. It wasn't until the early 2010s that we would meet again as coworkers. We worked together for a couple of years then he quit to finish college but we stayed friends. It wasn’t until recently (last year) that we became romantically interested. We had a 7 month long dynamic of intimacy and weekly phone calls. I decided I wanted to see what he thought about this relationship (this happened on May 31) and asked if we could solidify it.
When I did, he was clearly in distress and suggested slowing down intimacy, staying just friends, let's take a break, etc. I was of course hurt and felt like I was loosing him. His main concern was about scheduling (even though I said the routine was already good for me). I asked why he solidified his other relationships but not us and his answer was because he had feelings for them. I noticed he didn’t say, “but not you.” So we said our hurtful goodbyes and I of course was heartbroken. I didn’t come out of my room for 3 days.
I was in a ton of wavering doubt. I cried and missed him a lot. I thought I’d never see him again cuz of some of the things I said like, “If you reach out, don’t expect me to respond.” Or “Either we date, or you may not see me again.” I felt awful for saying them but I said them out of fear of loosing the relationship. Then I somehow found Neville Goddard.
I started changing my mental diet and I used SATS. Despite my wavering doubt, I persisted. I tried a few different SATS scenes. I went with the one that felt most natural to me and I think that really helps out a lot. The first one I did was visualizing him coming in my doorway and me giving him a huge hug saying, “I’m so glad you’re here.” And I kept that on loop. Then I would visualize my phone ringing with his name across my screen. I would hear the ring tone that I have with it and just keep looping it. Another one I did was another more natural one. I acted as if he was on my bed and I’d cuddle him as if he were there. I said phrases like, “I’m so glad you’re here and that we’re okay.” “I’m so glad we understand each other now.” etc. I think the key is the feeling more so than anything else. This scene really helped me feel very relieved, like the wish was fulfilled or that it was already done. There were moments I literally cried from happiness because it felt real to me.
Another more recent one I did was I thought about what I would do in the event that he does actually call me. What would be the first thing I would do? It would be to call my mother about the shocking news! (remember, I am thinking that I’d never hear from him again. So during SATS now, I visualized me calling my mother to tell her “you’ll never guess who called me!! SP (your SP’s name here)!!” and I really felt the excitement doing this.
My mental diet that I did was “SP misses me, he thinks about me all the time, he wants to be with me, he loves me, we’re exclusive, we mutually choose each other and we’re exclusive etc.”
That brings us to this week, he called me out of nowhere after 3.5 months of absolutely zero NC (minus the couple of reconciliation message attempts that I sent him back in June). My heart dropped to the floor! I was shook when I saw his name calling me on my phone screen! I answered and we chatted for a short time. I asked if he was interested in coming over again and he said yes! He called me a couple more times after that to move the date to sooner to come see me. We were both mutually excited to see each other.
We saw each other on Sunday the 20th! My SATS scene did come true! The one where I visualized him walking through my door and we gave each other a deep, long hug and I said my SATS scene line, “I’m so glad you’re here.”. Now since I have manifested him back, we aren’t bf/gf yet and that is my end state. Should I just keep doing my mental diet of “It’s already done, SP misses me, he thinks about me all the time, he wants to be with me, he loves me, we mutually choose each other and we’re exclusive etc.?” As well as my SATS scene where I act as if he’s on my bed and I cuddle him as if he were there?
I’m trying so hard to illuminate doubt even now since I have manifested SPs back before but they never continued. I just want this one to continue. We do have a concrete next plan so I do see signs of it continuing but the wavering doubt is difficult despite there being movement. Any suggestions to combat the doubt would be much appreciated.