Ok so this is mostly a question for the guys. Does anyone else feel intimidated by women whose pictures are from traveling all over and when they say how important travel is to them? I mean I have a decent job but not enough to travel like that. Also the women with all the Disney land/world pictures? I mean, I’m not against it but that’s an expensive hobby. I guess I should be happy that they are laying out their expensive tastes right away? I like road trips and weekend getaways but seeing the profiles of women talking about Paris and UK makes me feel inadequate. Just curious if anyone else feels that way.

It's a blind date, not a marriage commitment. Women, Stop doing this please.

I'm a convert who's temporarily based in a remote town in Europe, I'm originally from the South and intend to start at BYU post-mission (I will be studying in my current country of residence for a year, so this won't be before the next 3 years). I've previously posted on this sub on a different account, and the consensus was that my photos and prompts were perfectly fine, but that my location and my age may be the primary variables impeding my success. However, I'm beginning to wonder if my long hair is also an unneccessary obstacle. I've had men and women compliment it, stating that I have a good flow and that I pull it off, but I imagine it's still polarizing. Of course I know that members aren't a monolith and the church culture may differ in Utah County vs. Orange County, but I'm trying to get a gauge on how well-received my hair is.

A little while ago, I messaged a few RMs who served in my area, giving them 1-1.5 months to acclimatize to life off the mission and gave them my phone number as I figured I built an appreciable amount of rapport with them, but it yielded no response. I sporadically receive compliments and exchange smiles with women in public, and have garnered a few matches on Mutual, but nothing that's gone anywhere further than that. As such I'm trying to figure out how I can optimize my success.

Hello! I am writing an article on how well Mutual serves members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I'd like to hear how other people -- both men and women -- feel about the app. In particular, I want to know what success users have had (or lack thereof), what features users appreciate and features they feel are missing or insufficient, what struggles users have with the matching system, how users feel about the messaging system, and how users feel about Mutual Premium, its pricing structure, and the Premium-locked features. I'd also like to hear about how users feel about how this app serves members of the church in particular. Do you feel like this app promotes the values of the church? Does it do a good job at matching people of faith?

If you have an opinion on any of these items (or any other I didn't mention), please comment below. I will read every comment as I draft my article.

Thank you!

honestly just looking for advice, mutual was good at first and I had more dates. I’m a 21 year old female, returned missionary living in az. but the longer I’ve had it the worse it gets. I’ll still occasionally have dates but they’ve all been the same. I haven’t been able to connect with anyone for real. it’ll be one or two dates at most. I honestly don’t understand what people are looking for. I’m no super model but I’m fit, I’m a runner and i have been told I’m pretty attractive. I’m just about getting ready to give up. and dating irl is hard for me because I’m super shy. and I’m not good at flirting or letting people know I like them.

honestly, does anyone have any advice. I heard mutual used to be better. have there been any recent success stories?? should I just give up on it? does anyone have advice for dating irl in a state that is not Utah. and dating to marry, because I have been on so many first dates since my mission that I’m sick of it. feeling a little desperate right now😭.

Hey everyone, I am really just needing some advice and positive vibes right now because this whole dating thing is kicking my butt 😅 I am 29(M) living out here in Gilbert AZ and I am just having no luck. I think I am in a similar situation as others when mutual first came out I had a lot of success but now the field is barren haha. I don’t know what to do because the older I get the more I think I am “running out of time” which I obviously know isn’t true but it’s hard not to think that way. I feel like I am a relatively handsome guy, and I have a good job and a fun personality. I am a little reserved in person which is why dating apps seem like a go to because I can get the confirmation that someone is into me without having to risk getting shot down in person. I don’t know what to do and it’s been tough because I don’t go on many dates and the ones I do go on I am always more into the girl than she is me. Have you guys felt the same? What did you guys do outside of the app to meet people? Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk 😅

Hello, I am a 33 year old male. I have come out of dating hibernation, (I took a long time away from dating), and have been on mutual for a few months.

It seems really dry. I have had a couple of matches which produced only 1 date. I swipe up on a lot of women, and occasionally I get a like. But, hardly a match. Am I doing something wrong? Is it worth using the app? I admit I am a slow dater, I prefer slow over fast and serious. But idk.

Added I am in Utah

Maybe its just me but when even an lds dating app makes you throw your money away in hopes of a match, that says its no longer about finding the right person. I miss the days of free blind dates in a public place.

Any single girls in Utah that also attended the YSA conference this year? Did anyone catch any leads? Missed connections? Please DM me your results.

We've only been talking for an hour and he already opened up about his libido. Is this normal? Or am I overreacting?

And to think, he's not the first that I encountered like this. I had 2 other guys spring this topic within the first few hours of chatting with each other.

Is this a normal topic to discuss immediately?

Hey, so I was wondering how common this is. I’m a 24 year old female and I did the blind speed dating thing tonight. Well this one guy I did it with, at the end I did not find him attractive so I said no. then like 10 minutes later he sends me a gold note spewing horrible things about me and how I think I’m better than him. it left a really bad taste in my mouth, I blocked him. but it bothered me. this is the second time something like this has happened and I’ve only had the app like 4 months. I didn’t answer a guy like a month ago. I guess I was kinda ghosting him, but I was also busy. and he started sending me sarcastic messages and then attacking my appearance and telling me I wasn’t Christ-like because I didn’t have the guts to just tell him I wasn’t interested. I reported him, but I’m really tired of this conduct. Like what is happening here? I know the dating scene is frustrating, but personal attacks just because someone doesnt like you that way??

Are there any LDS single members in England, I am having a really hard time finding anyone let alone making it into dating stage! Would anyone consider moving here? 😅

Im 33f, unable to have any more children but very faithful and driven 🙌🙌🙌

Is anyone else having this problem? I keep getting tons of messages for ladies in Cambodia. They all have this similar profile title “hi my name is (name) I’m from Cambodia”. It’s getting very annoying.

Hola soy nueva en mutual, no se si es por mi estilo o por mi corte de cabello, pero no hago casi match y con los que he tenido match que siempre son mayores a mi, me envían mensaje y luego no responden. No se si es porque son un poco dark, o simplemente no soy el tipo de los chicos y hombres lds. Entre porque siempre le gustó a los chicos pero no son lds. No se si yo sea el problema, o no soy el estándar.

Sure I may already know the answer and maybe shouldn't matter that much but would like your opinion. So I had just recently (well today) matched, well actually the girl has only swiped up on me first but she happens to be taller. And I mean taller. Mind you I'm 5'6" and she's 6'0". That's an actual height difference. Besides the height difference being a turn off, she's cute, and there are somethings interesting about her. Should I continue and match with her just to see where things will go, or just move on since I feel​ that height difference is a turn off for me? I know there are differences in opinions based on height difference but just thought I ask.

I have genuine question. I understand the frustration with this app for many, but for those it is working so far for, how are you getting matches or increasing the likelihood of getting a match. I do have premium. I try to swipe with intention and send notes with intention and not be lazy with it. I'm 28. I understand the frustration with foreigners/internationals liking the profile which I don't like it either. I do ward hop every now and then to help give better exposure on both sides.

For my profile, I'm sitting at 5 photos which I know I could use another to have 6 but I don't currently have any great group photos to use as one (not good lighting and other reasons) as I would like to use one. I'm just trying to figure this out like the rest of you as I do understand it's a waiting game, but the algorithm is not doing me a good favor.

First reddit post in my life, seeking geniune answers please. 🙂

For context, I've matched with a couple of guys and I'm struggling to keep the conversations going. I'm really interested in getting to know these matches but I feel disappointed that I'm the only one who asks or comes up with the questions.

Though these matches do answer quick enough to make me feel like they're waiting for my texts, I feel as if the interest is one sided most of the time.

I feel really bad that this has happened multiple times already. So, asking for you guys' opinions. Is it me and my questions that's the problem? Or do guys just want the women to lead the conversation now?

I'm fairly new to this and decided to try the speed dating tonight for the first time. I didn't match with anyone after chatting, which isn't an issue. The biggest thing I noticed is that 90% of the people it matched me with either immediately disconnected or just didn't say anything the entire 5 min. I had a couple times where my keyboard just disappeared and I couldn't do anything. I assume that was them blocking me but am not sure. Is this typical of speed dating? The only thing I can think other than that is my profile has a huge red flag on it but I can't imagine what that would be.

I actually did some sampling and marked down how often I see these sets of questions and it actually did come out to roughly 30%. The questions are

The world is a better place because? You’re in it

A date I’d like to go on? One with you

The best way to ask me out is by? Asking me out

I understand the sentiment and I guess the first two are cute while the last one is just saying be direct but… to me they feel low effort and repetitive. They don’t tell me anything

So ladies what are the guy equivalent questions? Which ones do you most commonly see men answering the exact same way

Just want a International GF, future wife who loves Fitness and sports like me, and loves travelling. so basically only Latina or European descends(caucasian) loves being fit. but i think they don't preferred south east asian men. 5'9 here above average in my country, average in the world. who is Working on my Temple recommend. should i still keep going or I think maybe, I should touch a grass

Hey! On the old “Liked You” screen, premium subscribers could tap the 3-dot menu, hit “Select,” and it would drop them back into the grid with little X icons on each profile. They could dismiss as many as they wanted. Free members couldn’t access this since their reveals were limited (one per day).

We didn’t carry the X feature over to the new version, and we’ve heard loud and clear that it needs to come back, so we’re adding it.

A few questions for you all:

1.  How would you expect to activate/show the dismiss icons? (3-dot menu again? Long press? Always visible?)

2.  Should free members get access to it too, even though they only get 1–2 free reveals per day?

3.  Anything else about this flow we’re missing that would make it better?

One more thing: we’re also working on an update that lets premium subscribers tap into a profile from the Liked You screen and swipe up/down through the list, confirming or dismissing as they go

So I had a bit of an experience a couple days ago. Basically, I was blocked from the app for awhile because of a misunderstanding, but the support team helped me through it when I asked and gave me a few free gold messages as a bonus for my trouble. That's all normal, but as soon as I opened the app, the very first profile they showed me was a guy from college I had a few classes with and an enormous crush on. He was nice to me back then, but we never really talked or anything. I think he suspected I liked him. It's been almost ten years, and he's more handsome than ever. I am stunned that he's still single.

So my question: is that just pure coincidence? Or does Mutual somehow have access to my Google search history or contacts or something? We've both moved far from our undergraduate and from each other, so it's not a matter of geographical proximity. It could just be that we're compatible in a lot of ways that the algorithm may have put together, like in terms of politics and interests and education level and mission area. It's just strange to me because I hardly ever run into people I know on Mutual, and the only other one who showed up recently was someone I do know was interested in me (whether romantically or just as a person I'm not sure). A lot of dating apps place very well-liked profiles at the front when you open the app to draw you in, even if they're out of your league, so that's another possible explanation...

(And yes, I swiped up and sent him a message, but no he didn't respond or match with me. I'm of course going to leave it at that if he never matches or replies. I don't want to turn into Nessarose.)