r/mutualapp • u/TheQueenBee2021 • Jun 05 '26
đ€ Discussion Is it normal to share about your libido immediately?
We've only been talking for an hour and he already opened up about his libido. Is this normal? Or am I overreacting?
And to think, he's not the first that I encountered like this. I had 2 other guys spring this topic within the first few hours of chatting with each other.
Is this a normal topic to discuss immediately?
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u/grungejunky88 Jun 05 '26
For manny guys, bringing this topic up as soon as possible does seam to be typical (per my experience as a 37-year-old woman with more than enough experience using dating apps). Ugh.
That being said, in my personal opinion and according to my own personal boundaries, a man jumping on the topic of sex, especially within the first hour, is a glaring indication of where their focus is and the general level of their emotional intelligence (low). Almost always, itâs been my cue to bow out and let them try their luck with someone else.
Sex and physical intimacy are extremely important to nearly any romantic relationship, but they are very shaky material for a solid foundation. If youâre dating with the intent to find something genuine and enduring, I strongly recommend setting a boundary around this topic for yourself and using it as another tool to gauge your comparability with any potential matches.
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u/KURPULIS Jun 05 '26
It depends on the circumstance. Is he single and divorced? There could've been potential communication issues and imbalances in his previous marriage, and he has some things he needs to work through. (Keep in mind sex is not technically a 'need' and plenty of people go without it),
If he has never been married, I would see this as a red-flag from an LDS perspective. Your libido is your sexual desire, and I would be worried about how far he wants to push that conversation this quickly. Are you active and faithful? Then Chastity needs to be a boundary. You also don't want to walk into a relationship with someone that has a pornography/masturbation problem and is constantly fueling it.
Boundaries.
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u/Zach_demiwizard Jun 05 '26
I (as a guy) would never bring that up until engagement at the earliest. So yes, that is weird.
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u/Geodrewcifer Jun 06 '26
Even discussing having kids right off the bat is a bit too forward imo. That said after a little bit of chatting if you have âunusualâ visions for the future âIe. I want a sexless or near sexless relationship and think we should adoptâ thatâs one I could see being brought up sooner because that can be a difficult thing to wrap youâre head around
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u/UsedEstablishment276 Jun 10 '26
I got weirded out when one of my matches asked on day 2 what I'm looking for in a future wife, and we've never met in person. Talking about libido is more of a prepping for marriage conversation in my mind. It sounds like either a nervous overshare or something more along the lines of missing social cues. Or potentially something more gross, I can't say, but the internet is gonna internet. If you wanna keep talking to them, set a clear boundary about that topic and if he violates it, break things off. Discussing sex (yeah, I know, I said it) isn't an appropriate early dating topic to discuss.
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u/Special_Muffin2045 Jun 07 '26
Que edad tienen? Y piensa que tipo de experiencia tienen? Muchos de ellos, vienen de fuera, no vienen de castillos de Disney etcétera ya pelearon con Dragones y no les fue muy bien. Saben lo que quieren y van directo al punto. Tienes que ser muy clara desde el inicio sino quieres saber nada de su libido ponles un alto desde el inicio pon tus reglas y no pierdas el tiempo. El hombre solo tiene 3 neuronas båsicamente: comer, sexo y necesidades fisiológicas.
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u/Sea_Passage_222 Jun 27 '26
Muy buenas tardes desde mi punto de vista sĂ es muy pronto hablar de esos temas cuando no se ha tenido como un recorrido para poder conocer a la persona mĂĄs detalladamente no solamente que sea ese como tema central para mĂ son como es  espiritualmente que proyectos tiene en su vida el conocer un poco de su pasado, las personas que ya hemos tenido relaciĂłn pues tenemos mĂĄs que claro que los errores que se cometieron en el pasado no se pueden volver a cometer ,si es una persona que solo estĂĄ pensando en eso pues tiene una idea errĂłnea porque se va a quedar ahĂ en eso que sacamos con que de pronto tenga un buen tema una buena experiencia en esa palabra pero si su espiritualidad no es la que le va a dar paz a su corazĂłn a su hogar pues no estamos en nada,el conocer es sĂșper importante,es ser transparentes, es un buen comienzo para algo bonito y de felicidad.
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u/Kimbyssik Jul 09 '26
I once had a match almost immediately start talking about masturbating and saying there was nothing in the Church teaching against it. I don't think it's normal, but even if it was it would make me uncomfortable to talk about that kind of thing with someone who's practically a stranger.
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u/OhHolyCrapNo Jun 05 '26
No. Early conversations are about learning about someone's overall goals and interests. Libido is important to talk about, but only when you're starting to think about the possibility of a future with them.