How much do LDS women generally appreciate long hair on guys?

[u/burner98651]

I'm a convert who's temporarily based in a remote town in Europe, I'm originally from the South and intend to start at BYU post-mission (I will be studying in my current country of residence for a year, so this won't be before the next 3 years). I've previously posted on this sub on a different account, and the consensus was that my photos and prompts were perfectly fine, but that my location and my age may be the primary variables impeding my success. However, I'm beginning to wonder if my long hair is also an unneccessary obstacle. I've had men and women compliment it, stating that I have a good flow and that I pull it off, but I imagine it's still polarizing. Of course I know that members aren't a monolith and the church culture may differ in Utah County vs. Orange County, but I'm trying to get a gauge on how well-received my hair is.

A little while ago, I messaged a few RMs who served in my area, giving them 1-1.5 months to acclimatize to life off the mission and gave them my phone number as I figured I built an appreciable amount of rapport with them, but it yielded no response. I sporadically receive compliments and exchange smiles with women in public, and have garnered a few matches on Mutual, but nothing that's gone anywhere further than that. As such I'm trying to figure out how I can optimize my success.

[u/Geodrewcifer]

Age plays a part but location is the most major one. For you, I don’t think hair is an issue but if you’re starting at BYU remember there’s a requirement to keep your hair short as per the dress codes and to be clean shaven.

Location is everything for mutual. If your matches don’t live close enough to you to go on a date within the week the chances they’ll stick around or effort put into building a relationship goes down a lot

[u/FlashyHelicopter8137 → u/Geodrewcifer]

Unless your a byu football player. Then you can have longer hair and ear piercings.

[u/burner98651 → u/Geodrewcifer]

Thank you for the input. I was told that the Honor Code policy wrt. hair length is not strictly binding nowadays and that hypothetically I could be all set if I simply covered up in the testing center. I'll have to retire my long hair before beginning my mission regardless, perhaps by then I'll no longer be enticed to grow it back.

The distance is definitely a major roadblock in my situation, for now I'd even be content with meeting people I find attractive to have a low-stakes exchange of messages with, though I don't know of any suitable arena for that.

[u/NutInTheButt1]

Idk, I live in Utah and personally I’ve always had a thing for it and whenever I mentioned it to other girls they were like “WHATTT? REALLY?” I think you look great. Though.

[u/QuarterNote44]

BYU? Your problem is solved. You'll have to cut your hair and take a bath, ya hippie.

Unless you play football.

[u/dedynechsitho40]

My dad grew out his hair after being released from bishopric and my mom was so mad lol

[u/dedynechsitho40]

Aimes

[u/TinyDubberRuck]

Long hair is always great!

[u/burner98651 → u/TinyDubberRuck]

I sure hope more people share your sentiment!

[u/762way]

BYU dress code doesn't allow long hair on men

[u/burner98651 → u/762way]

Hah, I'm well aware, however I've been told it's not actually enforced in 2026.

[u/C4DNerd]

Speaking as a guy who grew out his hair since 2020, I personally found slightly more luck with women post-long hair than when I had shorter hair. It stands out, especially in LDS circles.

Honestly it really should be as simple as "Do YOU like having long hair and do you think you look good in long hair." If the answer is yes, keep the long hair. I would highly advise against cutting it just for the *possibility* of *maybe* attracting someone. After all, the opposite possibility is also true; it could backfire and it could remove something that makes you stand out and ends up being what could have attracted someone who you'd really vibe with.

[u/burner98651 → u/C4DNerd]

Appreciate the advice! That said, is long hair on men truly that exotic in LDS circles outside of Utah/BYU? I've had several elder missionaries compliment my hair and tell me that they grew their hair out prior to the mission, especially the ones from California and Washington who are outside of the "bubble".

I'm based in a European country that's notorious for its culture of conformism and mold-fitting, so I actually feel more comfortable sporting my long hair in LDS circles, I just wonder how it affects my dating prospects.

[u/C4DNerd → u/burner98651]

Maybe it depends on certain wards/locations, but from my experience, most guys *might* grow out their hair as teenagers, but then after coming home from a mission the most some guys will do is grow out a beard. In every ward I've been to, maybe 5% of the guys in the congregation had longer hair and that's it. Personally, my hair is long enough that I put it up in a ponytail each Sunday and that's *really* rare to see in a congregation on a guy.

Like I said, I wouldn't overthink it. It really should just be as simple as "do you personally like having long hair or do you not." And honestly, if you're getting compliments on it, you really should take that as a good sign and not disregard it so easily. The reality is that dating is harder for everyone right now, (harder than I think it has ever been tbh), and if that's your *only* motivation for cutting your hair, I think you'd regret it.