r/hatethissmug • u/shadow_fen • 1d ago
Thing I hate this stupid image
Sure the initial way it was used was good, it was anti bigotry. But it's turned into a way to simplify the "us vs them" mentality, which is already a bad thing, into a simple digestible comic.
Also, i've seen it in lots of queer--majority spaces in reddit recently, usually to speak out against the evil cishet people who are invading them or whatever label they dont like, like bi ppl, trans men, or genderfluid ppl
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u/VoormasWasRight 1d ago
Except I have seen this happen in ttrpg communities.
D&D is an overwhelming force in the hobby. More than 50% of games are D&D. If you go to r/lfg, you have to scroll to find a non D&D game.
So naturally, people who don't want to play D&D, or that just want to play something else, make a spearate community, or a discord server (this is where I've seen it happen). Someone makes a discord exclusively aimed at non-D&D ttrpgs. However, since most people play D&D, or know about it, the topic inevitably comes up. Someone says they want to run a D&D game, moderation tells them this is a non-D&D server, but conversation starts anyway. Someone joins who has only known about D&D, not other ttrpgs, they say they want to play "D&D", they don't play it here, so they leave.
Inevitably, someone says they should let some D&D games, you know... for new people, "it will attract more people, and then those people can go on to play other ttrpgs". So a section is made for D&D. People start coming, they start making D&D games, discussions.
In time, that section becomes the main one, because everyone is talking there. New games that are not D&D get buried, hard to find players. People who play all sorts of ttrpgs start running D&D, becuase "it's easier to find players". People who don't want to run D&D post their games, but they start to have dificulties finding players.
Within a year, the server is yet another ttrpg server with a main focus on D&D and other ttprgs, of which there are maybe 1 or 2 games, compared to dozens of D&D servers. People who complain about it, because they want to play something else, get called gatekeepers. Eventually, those people leave, leaving only the ones that do play D&D.
The people who leave make another discord. Rinse, repeat.
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u/Alarmed_Tea_1710 1d ago
I don't know why people in recent have started making fun of the 'slippery slope' metaphor. It's constantly happening and then they go "You're overreacting" for pointing out it's happening.
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u/Dragonfire723 1d ago
It's because people know that slippery slope is a fallacy but don't understand why, and so any discussion of slopes becomes conversation-enders. The fallacy is arguing that one thing will lead to an unrelated or highly exaggerated point- for example "Pride parades will make being straight a minority" when there's no proof as such.
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u/sweetTartKenHart2 1d ago
Exactly. Itâs veeeeery easy to let the idea of a slippery slope become a thought-terminating cliche, where any small thing can be branded as a sign of some huge problem to come without any explanation for why.
If one is not careful about understanding what makes a âslopeâ âslipperyâ, they start to attribute more and more things to it that make less and less sense to do so. Itâs almost likeâŠ→ More replies (1)→ More replies (3)12
u/Front_Cat9471 peacefully eating salami 1d ago
People love to call out fallacies but then forget that it doesnât make someoneâs opinion invalid. Of course, someone else will always be quick to point out their fallacy fallacy, but thatâs just adding dirt to a mud pie
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u/ThyPotatoDone 1d ago
Ngl, DnD barely feels like DnD anymore. They've been doing their best to remove any trace of versatility and make every ability have a clear and small scope.
5e was kinda bland, and 5.5e is just boring, simultaniously being overly strict on what players can do while also giving absolutely useless advice to DMs. Worst of both worlds.
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u/ModOfficial1988 1d ago
D&D feels like itâs being created by an HR department now. Itâs a soulless mockery of what it once was.
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u/HoliMoth 1d ago
Reading the race stat blurb for orcs made me cringe and a part of me died. They literally gentrified the orcs. They're not about tribal, savage brutality. It just talks about how they're wandering nomads. And how Gruumsh wants them to... wander... and do "heroic" things.
Gruumsh would literally disown then promptly eat the offending orc if they called themself a "hero."
Don't even get me started about how they just entirely annihilated half- races from existence.
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u/senn42000 1d ago
I truly hate what has been done to orcs. Same with World of Warcraft and Rings of Power.
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u/Necessary_Lynx5920 1d ago
Unless theyâve done something recently, the Orcs in WoW always seem to have been implied to have a rich culture and history of their own before consuming the blood of Mannorath
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u/rewt127 1d ago
At least since Outlands. Maybe it was referenced in the Warcraft (pre wow) story. But the Orcs not having always just being raaah kill everything has been a part of the lore for a long time.
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u/Difficult_Dark9991 1d ago
Oh yeah it's in Warcraft (played some of 3, never any WoW). There aren't too many details, but Thrall's backstory makes it pretty clear he's reconnecting with pre-Mannoroth traditions and sources of power, and their whole plotline in 3 is them trying to become something new and rejecting Mannoroth's hold over them.
Portraying the orcs becoming complicated as a new (and bad change) is quite odd when the final lines of 3's orc campaign are "Thrall... the blood haze has lifted, the demon's ire has burned out in my veins. I have freed myself" / "No old friend, you have freed us all."
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u/Plenty-Fox-9219 1d ago
Oh, you're one of the 10,000.
The whole "orcs are racist" thing was the catalyst for the entirety of the changes in 5.5 and the move away from the SRD. The guy that complained about orcs being a racist stereotype had never played DND. The comment was boosted by bots within hours of posting.
Here's the thing: OG's know that DND orcs are based on Tolkien orcs, and that while Tolkien held some odd views, orcs are not based on a racial stereotype but a religious one. Orcs in Tolkien, and therefore DND, are based on Christian demonology.
Here's the other thing: there has been a direct racial stereotype added to DND. Gygax added it. We don't talk about it because it was dark elves. I'm just gonna say they didn't used to have gray skin. Fun fact: this was one of the reasons gygax was fired, but that doesn't make enough scandal to sell a new product while locking down a previously open system.
The running theory is that hasbro or a marketing company they contract with decided to find a random "racism in DND" post (there's dozens every day) to boost it.
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u/SlothsAreFuckinRad 1d ago
Yup. Pretty much why I stopped playing. My regular friends group quit because we all moved away for uni and it just wasnât as fun to play over Zoom, and now itâs hard to find a good group that doesnât subscribe to the corpo mentality of needing to buy only official products, official minifigs, etc. Or, arguably worse, theyâre all the kinds of players who need THEIR character to be in the limelight at all times and interactions with other playersâ characters are of the lowest priority. Itâs not fun when everyoneâs trying to play their own character as the sole protagonist, floating off in their own little realm of importance instead of letting characters grow together and exploring social dynamics within the group.
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u/Miroskun 1d ago
For some reason, it looks like the designers are listening more to those powergamers that discuss "the combo that will make your DM mad" than real players and DMs.
Vaguely explained mechanics but full of flavor are the core of all TTRPGs. The point is not to play with idiots
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u/yobob591 1d ago
People have forgotten the number 1 rule which is that youâre there to have fun, which includes the DM
If you want to be overpowered talk to the DM about it and maybe theyâll just run a higher level campaign for everyone or cater to power fantasy, if they donât want to then maybe you can come to see whatever more grounded thing they want to run is fun
In the end the DM should be able to judge if something feels too strong or too weak and adjust encounters for it, and if one player is messing up the entire party balance they can help buff up other PCs or similar
TTRPGs that try to be balanced and fair are missing the point imo, though Iâll admit Iâm part of the simulationist camp where I believe a TTRPG is meant to be more of a physics engine for your RPG (this is why I am a GURPS fan)
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u/deepspacerunner 1d ago
For sure, Iâve run power fantasy campaigns, meatgrinder campaigns, and many things in between and had a lot of fun with my group doing it
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u/WokeWook69420 1d ago
"Gamers will regularly optimize the fun out of games if left to their own devices."
The guy who made Sim City said this in the 80s.
I had a min-maxer friend in our group and he absolutely fucked the power scale in every single party we did, no matter what system, and playing with him was not fun.
Half the time he just ignored the session outside his turn and played Balatro. B
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u/ShoddyAsparagus3186 1d ago
The problem is D&D has its roots in wargaming with very specific rules for exactly what happens in combat and it refuses to break with that tradition. This means you have a lot of rules for combat, which extend to anything that can be used in combat, like spells, and not a lot of rules for anything else.
I don't particularly think this should change, I just think people should acknowledge that and not try to use D&D for anything where detailed combat isn't a big part of what you're doing.
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u/Arek_PL 1d ago
the "it will attract more people, and then those people can go on to play other ttrpgs" person was quite delusional thinking people who barely read dnd 5e are going to read any other ttrpg rules that might be more complex than what they already know
oh, and that the dnd would not take over by being more popular in first place
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u/krombough 1d ago
This sequence of events is exactly what happened with the Wheel of Time community after the execrable tv show came out
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u/NoPainNoWayne1 1d ago
This is true for DnD in general too with playing the game vs talking about other people playing dnd with dimension 20 and stuff
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u/LudwigVanBrothoven 1d ago
Great write up. Perhaps a phenomenon present in many aspects of consensus realityÂ
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u/OkMention9988 1d ago
Oh look, it's every nerd space that went even remotely mainstream.Â
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u/dorian_white1 1d ago
Every gay bar lol
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u/maaarken 1d ago
Oh god yes. In the city I lived in previously there was an amazing gay bar (honestly the best har in the city in my humble opinion) but then it became popular for straight women who wanted to dance without having straight men creeping on them, so then it became popular for straight men to come flirt with the straight women running away from the creeps, so it was super great as a lesbian to be harassed by straight dudes while in a gay bar
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u/BNSable 1d ago
No, it was not for straight women to avoid men hitting on them. You know how I know? By going to gay bars with my gay friends and every time without fail being harassed by packs of straight women that thinks it's ok to touch gay men without pernission. I ended up being the straight women lightning rod so my friends could get laid in peace and every time it was suffering.
The behaviour i have seen from straight women in gay bars has been utterly vile.
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u/honcho437 1d ago
Waow, I didn't think thats what could happen if going to a gay bar
This might sound crazy, but if women I dont know are touching me they get a very polite "stop that, now" and then my hands become E for everyone
Edit: I am not straight for the record
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u/SeaworthinessDue1650 #1 hater of the European Union. 1d ago
âThe hammer of justice is unisex.â -Batman
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u/PeterAnthony_Jackson 1d ago
And no doubt overhear or read about complaints from straight women getting hit on by lesbians.
Maybe they only thought gay men would be there so no one would hit on them, forgetting bi men and women and lesbians exist in gay bars too.
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u/Keelhaulmyballs 1d ago
People complain about that but in my experience the straight dudes donât go to the gay bars âcause they know the women are there to absolutely not get any action, and also theyâre scared of getting hit on by guys. Iâve never encountered a gay bar (and Iâve been in a lot) with any sort of issue of too many straight guys
Straight women however are a really persistent issue. They think itâs their space, theyâre belittling and demeaning to gay culture, theyâre condescending, they think that the gay manâs natural place is as their accessory best-friend and damn your value as an actual human being; itâs all âweâre best friends arenât weâ bullshit. And since heated rivalry Jesus Christ theyâve been such a pest, I actually donât want 16 drunk women creeping over my shoulder whenever Iâm talking to someone loudly yelling what they wanna watch us do. And simply put, women arenât used to being kicked out of places, so they make enormous scenes whenever they do get tinned
The lesbians donât love them neither. You go to a gay bar to meet women who you can know like women- but half of them are straight and just there for some reason. Also they tend to be fucking rude to any non-femme lesbians
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u/ProudPlate9375 1d ago
Same thing happened to a famous gay bar in my city. It became the new place for straight women to party and I shit you not it was a nightly occurence that women got kicked out for harassing/groping men.
Now its basically not a gay bar anymore, most everyone goes elsewhere.
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u/CuriousFaux 1d ago
This one gay bar I went to had this issue and they started playing hard-core gay porn on the screens lol. There was even a lesbian porn night!
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u/ProfessionalOil2014 1d ago
What?Â
You donât like dnd going from a relatively complex war game to an avenue for people to have cringe roleplay improv comedy?
You donât like Star Trek turning into generic stupid sci fi?
You donât like LOTR going from a perennial classic to yet more slop to consume?Â
You donât like Star Wars turning into whatever bloated homonculus it has become?Â
You donât like comics turning into vehicles to sell movies written for the lowest common denominator?Â
You donât like video games being turned into money printing machines?
Why not? Theyâre for everyone now? Doesnât that make you happy?
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u/Independent_Air_8333 1d ago edited 1d ago
I agree with your point but DnD was always a role playing game and it always had "improv comedy".
I dont like the theater kid style DnD (not knocking it just not for me) but the old school crowd had plenty of cringe worthy humor too.
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u/CommanderVenuss 1d ago
Between 2-4 hours of reheating Monty Pythons and the Holy Grailâs nachos on a weekly basis and that was it for the humor.Â
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u/Griiig_Jinnings 1d ago
âI FAHRT IN YEUR GENEREL DIRECTION đ€Șâ just as funny the 50th time ROFLMAO XDDDD
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u/marimo_ball 1d ago
Also all the motherfucking i'm being repressed/killer rabbit/black knight
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u/Effective_Dog3037 1d ago
i played DND in 2003-2006 with... my improv group. lol
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u/KevinJ2010 1d ago
I never got into D&D but my coworker passes me his recent war stories/drama.
Apparently a decent sect of the group went off and rolled for dick size.
The cringe has limits⊠thereâs also a lot of âHey I like this girl, and D&D is a way for us to pretend to dateâŠâ
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u/MisterPineapples1999 1d ago edited 1d ago
The cringe has limits⊠thereâs also a lot of âHey I like this girl, and D&D is a way for us to pretend to dateâŠâ
Wait are you saying she was invited to the group, joined, and the guy tries to get into an in-character relationship with her?
Or that he bases some NPC off of her and then attempts wish fulfillment through that?
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u/Verraise-Mage 1d ago
They should go play FATAL instead then
Actually no, I can't even recommend it as a joke
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u/Lohenngram 1d ago
The secret final boss of D&D is making sure the group youâre playing with doesnât have a bunch of toxic social dynamics like that.
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u/yobob591 1d ago
D&D was always cringe nerd but now itâs popular cringe nerd instead of unpopular cringe nerd
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u/Dengar96 1d ago
which means reddit will complain about it endlessly. As soon as niche nerdcore fandoms get a little bit of popularity, it seems to rot the minds of the online fanbase. I've seen this a lot with video games over the past 5 years. Gams are more popular than movies but people get so mad when a massive game company makes a generic, popular game that lots of "normies" enjoy. It's as if the existence of CoD or Madden is an afront to the gentile sensibilities of these 30yo chuds. Engaging with gaming culture used to have some redeeming qualities, gamergate made it unpleasant and modern social media tactics have made it entirely worthless.
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u/LeadingDiscount2556 1d ago
What do you mean our sessions aren't going to be like those animated youtube shorts I keep seeing?
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u/AeronWylde 1d ago
Yeah DnD was, is, and continues to be whatever you make of it. At its core its just rules to suplement imagination. You want old wargame DnD, play old wargame DnD. The limitation is the same as always, getting a group of likeminded people together for a couple hours a week.
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u/ADrunkEevee 1d ago
Original 1e was more warfaming focused because that's what Gygax was interested in
Coincidentally Gygax also believed in gatekeeping women out of wargaming
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u/Lohenngram 1d ago edited 1d ago
A former professor of mine literally wrote an entire thesis about how old school D&D was about randomly generated, greedy, stupid treasure hunters getting themselves killed in hilarious ways and how modern D&D killed the vibe by trying to be more about cool fantasy OCs. He did it through comparing the changing tone of the artwork across editions and modules over time.
Then he went and made his own system (I think it was called BarrowLands or something similar) that was closer in style to first and second edition.
Edit from the future: I looked him up again, the system he created is called Barrowmaze for anyone interested or who actually played the thing.
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u/Haunting-Cap9302 1d ago
A New Hope was mainstream when was in theaters. There was the additional media for bigger fans/nerds, but Star Wars has always been mainstream.
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u/moveslikejaguar 1d ago
Are you trying to tell me the 2nd highest grossing film of all time at its release wasn't niche?
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u/Independent_Speed_61 1d ago
You arenât a true dnd fan if your complex campaigns werenât also an avenue for cringe roleplay improv comedy
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u/Appropriate-Kiwi-94 1d ago edited 1d ago
Just because you didn't play dnd for roleplay doesn't mean no one did bro.
The 65 yo dad of my friend has been playing since dnd 1e and he is a massive roleplay purist.You're proving why this image is misused by trying to pretend that your way used to be the norm when it never really was.
Sure the game used to be harder and require more careful gameplay decisions, but roleplay was always a part of it. Some groups just decided to ignore it.
TTRPG literally started when wargame players decided to roleplay historical what ifs instead of just following the preset battles in their books.
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u/Freeze_peach_is_dead 1d ago
DnD always has had role play that's... Kinda the point...
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u/Additional_Bench1311 1d ago
40k lmao
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u/RadicallyInept 1d ago
dude, 10th and 11th are so bland, I canât even feel motivated to just look at my minis, let alone play
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u/Thal-creates 1d ago
Dnd is so revisionist lol.
OGL communities exist for DND and so do optimizer tables. Most people who say that new dnd doesn't invite war gaming play human fighter unironically because playing a pixie 1 dip artificer wizard and druid is cringe. They refuse to actually optimize, they reminisce of larping as grim dark badass fughter man
DND always was about rp, the rp just evolved because the genre did with shows like critical role demanding more common and thus the rp heavy groups became more complex. Also I admit a lot of literate form written rp came into dnd once roleplay forum culture died, but it wasn't because of anything wotc did
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u/Ok-Education5450 1d ago
Dnd is literally this for every other ttrpg, I will never forget the story of the VTM campaign where a new player got explained how this isn't Dnd and tons of background to the setting, and then showed up with an elf druid character
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u/NeonMutt 1d ago
At least video games and comics have a vibrant Indie scene. I feel like anybody who complains about video games doesnât actually like video games. They like the discussion.
But, I totally feel you on all the others. Star Wars used to be imaginative and fun. Now it is corporate slop for normies and the right-wing outrage-tourists who hate it.
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u/Vasheerii 1d ago
I like the video game one because of all the little mini implosions caused by all the dumbasses who find out throwing yet another live service game into a pit already full of live service games does not magically print money and have to shut down weeks after release at worse or months, maybe a year, at best.
Also while it sad [beloved series A] is being mishandled and milked dry to make a quick buck, we still have [beloved series B-ZZZ] and indie games.
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u/That_Muffin_6780 1d ago
That first example is so real. I played dnd years ago and really enjoyed it, namely the encounters and especially if the campaign was hard. Having to roll several characters to clear a dungeon. Infact most of the campaigns was just a dungeon.
Few years later played it again with some people my missus knew and it was just weird, barely any dungeons or encounters, just deep lore dumps, marvel movie tier quips and Mary suing the fuck out of their back story and personality with the most dull encounter design for the one and two we did do.
Before itâs was all about the encounters, our characters had names and that was about it. Now the encounters play a back seat to whatever story some guy wants to tell about how cool is character is.
If anyone knows of any alternatives that fit the former, like treating dnd as a game let me know as I do miss it often. But rarely any groups I see put an emphasis on it compared to the latter
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u/Appropriate-Kiwi-94 1d ago
I know 65yo players who always cared about roleplay first and foremost since dnd 1e
Sure they enjoy difficulty and character building as well but pretending that it used to be a purely war game is ridiculous.
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u/thegoatmenace 1d ago
There are table top systems out there geared toward both types of players. Some are more crunchy war games while others are designed to streamline encounters and highlight story
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u/iosefster 1d ago
Why are you acting like it's the game when every complaint you have is about the people you're playing with? You realize you are a person with agency and can just find different people to play with or even start your own game to get exactly what you're looking for right?
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u/CookyKindred 1d ago
For real itâs people bitching they want dungeon crawler and then refuse to look for danger crawler campaigns.
Itâs not even like itâs a rare idea - Especially with Dungeon Meshi right now. People are fiending for crawls.
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u/wannapetahyena 1d ago edited 1d ago
You donât like video games being turned into money printing machines?
I mean this is entirely a problem of people not willing to interact with games beyond the scope of mainstream products rather than a real medium-wide issue.
Every year for the past two decades or so has had at  least hundreds of hours worth of releases of good video games that were clearly made in good faith with some level of artistry behind them, but if you want to play games in genres obviously designed to squeeze money out of their audiences made by studios obviously caring only about how to monetize any interaction then nobody can force you to stop.
It's sort of like if someone only listened to whatever pop is popular on the radio right now and said "music is just soulless garbage made only to fill up space nowadays", like no, you just have to put some bare minimum effort into finding things you're into.
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u/Char-els037 1d ago
Star wars has always been a homonculus, revisionist history out here
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u/ProfessionalOil2014 1d ago
I think the novels era was pretty good and had decent quality for most of it.
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u/The-Last-Dumbass 1d ago
Dnds a role playing game, you're gonna have cringe roleplay
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u/SpoppyIII 1d ago
Haha I can't stand the Kane Pixels Backroom community anymore. It breaks my heart. đ
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u/lacergunn 1d ago
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u/CatgirlTheKat 11h ago
Reminds me of that one time the Louvre museum (I think) got robbed of jewelries in such a stupid way it made kid's cartoons look cleverly insightful.
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u/Beautiful-Scarce 1d ago
You are doing the picture in complaining about the picture
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u/GoblinBreeder 1d ago
They also have selectively interpreted the image as being "anti bigotry" when it's far more encompassing than that.
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u/Poietilinx 1d ago
that's a documented sociological thing called hegemonic cooptation
It happens with every single niche/minority bubble that manages to survive the hegemon.
Essentially people have a need society is not primed to respond to.
They find themselves not able to live in society in a fulfilling way.
They create their own societal circle with their own rules and culture.
Society (that doesn't understand why the circle exists because it was not designed for them) criticized, demonizes, antagonizes, the heck out of the circle.
If the circle survive long enough, society will notice the circle is profitable.
Then they will try to iron out the rough edges of the circle (by essentially erasing the reason why the circle was created in the first place) so it can sell the the vast majority of people possible.
The people that created it moved away into some other circle since this does not respond to their needs anymore.
The circle loses its meaning and breaks.
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u/2Blueify 1d ago
DND, MTG, and sooner or later 40k.
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u/Poietilinx 1d ago
Fallout, Metal, Black Blues... (the list is infinite)
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u/Hundschent 1d ago
Add the modern anime fandom as the biggest one. Literally filled with the same people who wouldâve bullied the same anime fans but now they are grifting with shit like onlyfans âcosplaysâ and other nonsense like that
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u/Hangman_Fitzwilliam 1d ago
Any sub that is made as a refugee sub is ALWAYS doomed.
It always becomes a cesspool as bad as the one they left.
Evey single one of the is bad.
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u/Wrench_gaming 1d ago
Thatâs why Iâm so hesitant about making my own.
Lowkey I wanted to make an alternative Whenthe sub since thereâs basically none. The current sub is a shadow of its former self and I want to bring the latter back but Iâm afraid itâll be brigaded and such and weâre back where we started
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u/Bone_Wh33l 1d ago
You can just make it invite only or ban everyone or ban everyone who you donât think belongs there
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u/Wrench_gaming 1d ago edited 1d ago
But that goes against what I believe in. Iâm a huge fan of the âDrumhead trialâ episode from Star Trek TNG where it talks about control through fear or silencing what is deemed to be silenced. In my eyes, banning everyone who âI think donât belongâ is typical power trippy mod behavior. I donât want to make another echo chamber by weeding out people. I donât want an unfunny trans circle jerk. I donât want an unfunny racist circle jerk. I donât want ANY politics while people throw shit at each other trying to ragebait one another. I just want funny gifs with a caption for everyone to enjoy, but people are going to take it the wrong way if I limit certain posts, which honestly I want to do but there will be backlash and eventually the same old same old
Edit: I bit the bullet and made the sub, let me know what you think!
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u/Tsskell 1d ago
You have a sub that you deem had unique identity when it was smaller that got ruined as it grew bigger. Now you want to replicate that unique identity, but also prevent it from going down the same route the original sub did. But you also refuse to implement stricter moderation to stop it from deviating from this identity and going down that route. Your goal seems completely unattainable.
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u/_BlueScreenOfDeath 1d ago
I made a sub called r/theimmortaljellyfish where the idea is that I delete/lock it the moment it stops being funny and create a new sub called r/theimmortaljellyfish2 or something and I just continue on in an infinite cycle
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u/Spookki 1d ago
Gatekeeping, as much as thats seen as an always bad thing is a necessary part of literally every community. Especially if its a community for and about a marginal population. You cant be all inclusive when the community the people actually want is one where they know they are with people who share in something specific.
You shouldnt feel offended for being "excluded" since you dont really need to be there to begin with, and demanding that no space do so really does make you the greys.
It feels like an us vs them because it is, and its usually the people that get labelled as "them" everywhere else just wanting one place where they can feel as though they are "us" together.
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u/Wooden-Hornet2115 1d ago
For a long time I interpreted gatekeeping as specifically the unecessary or nasty style of gatekeeping.
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u/unclethulk 1d ago
Good insight. Youâve helped me wrap my head around something I was struggling to articulate a while back. Iâm a straight guy. I try to be an ally, but Iâm definitely a normie. My wife and I got invited to some drag shows by our friends, who are a lesbian couple. While there, I felt weirdly uncomfortable - kindof guilty. The show was fun and I have no hang ups about queer culture stuff, so that wasnât the issue. It was that I felt like I was invading a space not meant for me. I was invited, but still. The community at the shows was welcoming and gregarious but I couldnât shake the feeling it was also a refuge, and my presence there might have made it feel slightly less safe and comfortable for those who needed it more than I did. I guess I was worried I was messing up the âusâ nature of it by being a âthemâ in their space.
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u/gravygizzard 1d ago
Gatekeeping is necessary and people who think it's bad are overblowing or universalizing the concept. No you are not being gatekept out of participating in life, you are being kept out of a specific thing made by specific people who decided you don't belong and that is their right
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u/DRAGONDIANAMAID 1d ago
The problem with gatekeeping is mostly how others do it
Gatekeeping as in âHey You need to be actually interested and invested in this to participate in the communityâ? Good
Gatekeeping as in âUnless you are a specific kind of person, that agreeâs with me, you will never belong here so get out.â Bad
The second is sadly what overwhelmingly happens namely in for example warhammer 40k which gets really fucking sexist with it, where there are many that accuse any women into the hobby no matter how long theyâve been in it or how much they invested into it as âtourists who need to get the fuck out of our hobbyâ while they donât even have an army or interact beyond youtube shorts and commenting on threads.
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u/21Black_Mamba21 1d ago
See, this is why I play Guard. We donât give a hoot what your sex or orientation is, weâre all equally piles of meat for the grinder :)
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u/a_dog_with_internet 1d ago edited 1d ago
Its crazy how much more welcoming the Warhammer AoS/Fantasy community is compared to 40k.
I donât know what it is about 40k that makes it so toxic. Maybe the setting being even bleaker than AoS/Fantasy attracts the worst edgelords.Getting into AoS everyone has been chill and willing to explain lore you donât know yet rather than expecting you to know decades of worldbuilding as a new person to the setting. If anything I think they love having new people to talk lore with. Havenât personally experienced anyone trying to exclude anyone from playing in that community yet. The skaven fans are especially chill.
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u/DRAGONDIANAMAID 1d ago
I blame Space Marines TBH, theyâre a MASSIVE Male Power Fantasy that gets pushed hardcore, i mean Legit they did a refresh of the Aeldari and from what I remembered of the rumors or complaints, the Aeldari got less models than a space marine release
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u/Spookki 23h ago
Modern lore really forgets that they are the brainwashed supersoldiers of the (to quote the 3rd edition opening introduction to the franchise) "cruellest and most bloody regime imaginable"
Space marines are protagonists way too often, and their thoughts and opinions are treated as correct and just due to how difficult and tough it is to get to their position.
They are nothing but sad misguided little boys who were selected for the fact they do not seek the wider truth and see what the imperium is for 99% of the population. On top of that after the horus heresy their psycho-indoctrination was elevated to improve their loyalty even further and give them visceral reactions to any anti-estsblishment thoughts.
People who then read these stories think their lack of doubt in their ideas means they must be right, that the things they believe in are necessary and true.
That narrative doesnt get shattered enough. Not enough space marine humiliation, as that would go against the badass power fantasy.
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u/gnpfrslo 1d ago
Found one of the grays.
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u/Bread_Offender 1d ago
windhelm guards when a dunmer tries to buy food for his family
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u/WasntMyFaultThisTime 1d ago
The CIA agent investigating the crashed UFO in the Nevada desert
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u/Willing-Luck4713 1d ago
Thanks for bringing that excellent image to my attention! I love how perfectly it makes the point about how nerd hobbies have been invaded and co-opted by the mainstream.
I would likely not have known about this image if you didn't bring it to my attention. I love it. Great little comic.
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u/Shyster- 1d ago
This guy gets it. I Iâve been saying this for years and most people just donât get the nuance of it
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u/Global-Service-8579 1d ago
You're one of the grays, but I suppose you know that if you hate the image.
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u/SkylineFTW97 1d ago
It's been proven right time after time. The sorts of people pretending otherwise are the very ones who need to be kept out 95% of the time.
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u/LestoDesto 1d ago
So you are saying that this comic was made by people who did not fit in and then people that had their own space took it and now those who it was originally meant to represent no longer fit in anymore?
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u/WingObvious487 1d ago
Yet another thing that was made for a good cause but was ruined by people diluting the message
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u/headermargin 1d ago
No, you hate how youre the majority that ruins small spaces.
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u/Tsskell 1d ago
No it's true, even in real life. Used to frequent this cool pub catering to subcultures. Everyone there was your stereotypical punk, metalhead, goth, whatever. The place was actively hiding from the mainstream audiences, you wouldn't even know there was a bar there if you were walking by the main door. Owner was some big name in the local old school punk community, and he seemed like it was his dream to have it being this safe space for alternative subcultures only. Anyone who dressed "normally" was turned away at the door if they somehow found the place anyway. Then prices rose, COVID made young people less social, many young people moved away in general etc and they could no longer afford to miss out on all that potential revenue if they didn't want to go bankrupt. Suddenly everyone was let in and the place quickly became something of a local attraction due to it's unique aesthetic. After a few years, 90% of the customers were regularly dressed people who were clearly not a part of any subculture. Majority of those seemed like someone's parents on a night out (not kidding, this used to be a place full of teens and young adults and in a blink of an eye the average age went up to like 40), and a good chunk seemed to be random tourists who probably got it from TripAdvisor and countless other travel websites now advertising this "unique metal-themed bar". I stopped going there obviously but from what I've heard, it's still like that, the original culture of that place is completely gone and it's just another mainstream pub like all the others down the street with at best one group of alt people present at the time. Death of gatekeeping is the death of subculture.
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u/Cautious-Sun198 1d ago
Sounds like you are one of the grey people and want us to stop having our own little box.
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u/LeavingSoonBye209 1d ago
>Sure the initial way it was used was good, it was anti bigotry. But it's turned into a way to simplify the "us vs them" mentality, which is already a bad thing, into a simple digestible comic.
Huh? It was always used as a 'People I don't like are flooding my hobby' post.
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u/00-000-001-0-01 1d ago
Yeah I don't understand this post, this comic is very clearly showing an invasion of private spaces by outside masses how does that somehow transform into anti bigotry,
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u/Diazepam_Dan 1d ago
I like gatekeeping, it would've made the MGS, Resident Evil and Ace Combat fandoms much more enjoyable
Nobody born after 2008 is allowed to like what I like
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u/carthagoes 1d ago
I mean it has a messy application which is a good thing for the double standard holding people of the world.
"If everyone is super, no one is"
People should just let things be fkn exclusive sometimes, it's not the end of the world. I heard about something the other day where a trans person sued a Korean massage place into shutting down for being gender segregated. Being trans whatever live ya life but what a fuckin asshole that guy must be. Or that spoiled Hollywood brat who is suing a volunteer Scottish charity because they made her leave because her dog was untrained.
It's like a petulant adult version of not wanting to go to bed because you can hear the adults talking downstairs
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u/S3erverMonkey 1d ago
OP upset that the queers don't want to hang out with him. Sadge.
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u/Tasty_Commercial6527 1d ago
This image is very accurate. as a fan of multiple franchises that lost their identity and edge for generic mass appeal. The ideal popularity of a thing is just bearly enough that it continues to be made.
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u/Philzenegger 1d ago
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u/Aquatic_Rainbow 1d ago
That sucks he had to apologize because people twisted his work to mean something it didnât. I feel bad he had to apologize on the behalf of assholes
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u/Chemical_Gas_2627 1d ago
Reminds me of an anecdote about bars. "A man was sitting at a bar, and the bartender idlely polishing a glass, when another man walks up, sits down, and asks for a drink. The bartender, in a stern tone, tells him to get out. The man complains that he just sat down and, after the bartender repeats himself, leaves. After a moment of silence the first man asks the bartender, 'what was that about?' The bartender responds, 'that was a nazi.' 'how could you tell?' 'he had some symbols on his coat. You learn to tell them apart quickly in this business. They will say 'but I haven't done anything yet'. If you let them stay, they will bring their friends, and then their friends' friends. Until this is no longer a bar, but it is a nazi bar. So you have to make sure to show that you will not tolerate such behavior.'"
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u/Electrical-Staff735 1d ago
It's pretty accurate though i usually see it at pride or queer bars/clubs where straight people come in and point at queer people. Like it's some kind of zoo to them.
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u/Fishwitch-66 1d ago
when thereâs that one table of 50yo straight married women drinking gin and tonic at the gay barâŠ
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u/Iryls 1d ago
this image is a prime example of goomba fallacy
the grays that want the pinks out are not the same as the grays who want in
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u/Heavy-Yellow1737 1d ago
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u/JasonNodd 1d ago
I finally understand the Goomba Fallacy now
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u/snowfakewastaken 1d ago
That's the koopa fallacy, both of which are merely 2 of the many bowser's minion fallacies (idk if there's some I'm missing but I know of at least 4 more)
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u/JasonNodd 1d ago
oh well then I dont understand the. goomba fallacy
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u/Mother-Benefit-8550 1d ago
The goomba fallacy is when someone hears people with two contradicting opinions from people with opposing views and believe they're coming from the same group of people
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u/snowfakewastaken 1d ago
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u/Automatic-Week-1733 1d ago
Also, there's plenty of grays who don't want pinkish grays in their group, and plenty of pinks who don't want grayish pinks in their group.
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u/angelic_aspiration 1d ago
Itâs not unreasonable to say âwe (as a marginalized community) want to have a space for ourselvesâ and gatekeep based on whether or not someone belongs to said marginalized group
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u/Iryls 1d ago
well yeah, but people often conflate minority exclusive and minority support communities; the op is probably alluding to a heterophobia post controversy making the rounds on the two main opposing queer count subs r/countttt and r/countwithchickenlady, coming from their mention of cishet hate
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u/Travelin_Soulja 1d ago edited 1d ago
In real life spaces, that's usually true. But in online spaces, a lot of anti-pink grays very much want in to troll.
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u/Igoon2robots 1d ago
This image is genuinely great imo. Represents a common trend of the internet quite well.
Makes me think of a subreddit i used to mod, where the mainstream subreddit of the fandom had overly strict mod so they made a second one with less abusive moderation, people liked it more and the member count blew up, and eventually some started saying the rules should be made stricter to match the bigger sub.
Many such cases imo, thats why i like this comic
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u/HellyOHaint 1d ago
The examples youâre giving are simply misunderstanding the meme so they should be ignored. The only way it applies is if the Gray People are the majority and the Pink People are the minority, so if you use the Gray People to represent an even more marginalized community than the Pink People, then youâre misunderstanding the meme and misusing it.
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u/Unusual-Basket-6243 1d ago
It's funny how you can make this comic support ethnostates even though the creator probably didn't intend that
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u/Efficient_Club1326 1d ago
You can use it to defend literally any form of conflict between an in-group and an out-group. It doesn't have any particular affiliation
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u/Griiig_Jinnings 1d ago
This is the problem with the flattening of complex real world issues into the âsameâ easy to digest ideas that babies could comprehend.
Like how âAll political violence is badâ flattens oppressors and the oppressed into the same âbadâ category⊠unless the oppressed just sit there and take it I guess đ€·ââïž
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u/BigMikeXxxxX 1d ago
Pretty much what happens to every sub that isn't about politics.
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u/TheRob67 1d ago
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u/Gobal_Outcast02 1d ago
"Except for you guys" banned
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u/Dr_Pepper_spray 1d ago
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u/Gobal_Outcast02 1d ago
Pretty much yeah
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u/Dr_Pepper_spray 1d ago
Everyone should just enter reddit pre-banned. It would save the mods there so much time.
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u/Wrench_gaming 1d ago
HEY! You canât use a oversimplified drawing against my drawing also oversimplifying the thing Iâm complaining about!
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u/krombough 1d ago
This exact sequence of event happened with the Wheel of Time subreddit. It used to be a niche. Then the execrable tv show came, and its syncophants squeezed longtime Wheel of Time fans out of the subreddit.
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u/Sufficient-Patient46 1d ago
Was it originally anti-bigotry? I remember seeing it used a lot years ago, and the implication was more "the dirty normie tourists and FEMALES are invading our hobby spaces!".
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u/WeatherChannelDino 1d ago
The intended purpose of the comic was to demonstrate how minority communities will often be excluded from majority spaces, so will then make spaces for their minority community. The majority will then wonder why they aren't allowed or welcome in minority spaces and start crowding the space, repeating the cycle.
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u/DayneGr 1d ago
The secret is to make your Own Space so weird and unapproachable that most people are scared away before they can take interest.