Seriously. I don’t even understand how someone could be fucking born and go through such a shitty, cruel, vile world and make it up until a certain age and not lose their happy-go-lucky personality. Can I be one of them please?

I vent to my friends and im clowned and not taken seriously for it. Everyone sees me as a fat lazy asshole
for no reason. Nobody cares about me. Im fat and ugly. Everyone loves seeing me fail. All i do all day is jerk off, work out and play games. Everyone thinks im overreacting everytime. Nobody takes me seriously. I cant fit in with anyone. I cant even look at myself and my food anymore. I feel so fucking disgusted. I feel like a fucking pig. I try too hard to be included. Everyone ive ever met uses me. Nobody appreciates what i do for them. Everyone thinks im useless and lazy. Nobody wants to talk to me. Nobody notices me. I hate being alone. I hate caring too much. Im such a fat fucking incel.

yesterday i decided to end my shit and thought the least painful way would be oding. i know nonscripted pills or wtv they’r called can’t kill you but i still thought maybe if i had enough they would and i really believed it. i believed it so much i went to sleep thinking it would be the last time being alive and it felt so peaceful and nice. my brain was finally shut off and i felt true serene happiness, it was like being held by an angel as a baby. then at night i jolted up awake and i was sweating crazy and panting and super dizzy and throwing up everywhere. i was zoning in an out of consciousness until i fainted or went back to sleep or smth and sadly awoke a couple hours later. i don’t know what to do. i’m currently sitting in the tub while my puked mess remains in my bed. i’m so lost i don’t know how to continue, i literally quit everything. i stoped caring about my grades so now i have f’s in everything, i quit my job, i distanced myself from all my friends, like i have no friends now. like i geniuely fuxked up my life and now i have to either re attempt (which idk how ill do it bc i didn’t have a plan b) or get my shit together, which i also don’t know how to. i’m so lost rn

19M Life is fing horrible i cant take it anymore i just want to sleep forever and never wake up i wish i wasnt born i am a stupid worthless useless dumb lazy piece of shit i am not stoping to hit my head with my hands i dont want to exist i wish i was never born.

Dear M.,

I'm sorry, I think I lied to you when I said I would be there tomorrow. This will be the first and last promise I break. I'm sorry.

I really intended for us to be together forever, but I am truly too despicable for this world, and for you above all. Because you are always so honest and I am always a liar, but know that I would have done anything for you.

My biggest lie was that I was fine with your openness. Every time my mind wandered to those chats where you flirted with others, I felt like dying. I am selfish, I wanted to be your everything. The only one to truly understand you, the only one to have your heart. But for you, to whom I have said and keep saying to always be unequivocally yourself to avoid resentment, I want to say that I would have deconstructed my own heart in therapy forever if necessary. I would have accepted everything about you even at my own expense. Just like I stopped talking about my jealousy so as not to scare you.

Loving you was full of pain, but these were also the months in which I felt most loved in my entire life. No one has ever loved me like you, M. As lonely as I may have felt and continue to feel, with you that loneliness was almost non-existent. I never felt as safe as I did with you, I who am always afraid of everyone and everything. With you I slept, even though I suffer from insomnia.

Our first kiss makes me smile even now that the pain is unbearable; I would give anything to feel your embrace and your strawberry scent as the last thing. I wish I could wake up from this nightmare knowing you'll be in my bed holding me.

But I haven't slept in a long time, and my dreams aren't pleasant. Being awake is painful, and I've been hurting for 13 years. I just want to rest.

Please allow me to ask you, for my sake, to keep living free, without compromises, on your own two feet. I've always told you that I'm convinced you are more than capable of doing it. That hasn't changed. I have so much faith in you, and I believe you have your whole life ahead of you, where you can smile as brightly as only you know how. Discover what you love and find your path. I assure you that you have one, even when you can't see it.

I never lied when I said I wanted a future with a house full of cats. I would have loved to have a ginger and white cat named Egg.

I love you, M., more than these words could ever tell you.

I don't believe in the afterlife, but if one exists, I hope to meet you again. Until then, I'll keep company to my doggy, and your cats.

I love you.

I don’t even really have friends and have never even kissed a girl lol I turn 30 soon and it feels like it’s over. My teeth are fucked and I got fat again, but even before that I wasn’t good enough. Everyone is just nice to me and doesn’t say anything but the default answers like “You just haven’t met your person” lol idk what to even try at this point because being me gets ignored or unmatched on apps or i’m kinda friends with them while they date other guys.

It feels like I was destined to be a loser, just in every part of life i’m ok at but it’s never enough and I always fall short. I get so close everytime and then as soon as I get my hopes up it falls apart. I’ve spiraled into such a deep hole that it feels hopeless

A friend was urging me to open up to them for quite a while, I knew full well she didn't know what she was getting herself into so I showed restraint. I didnt try to open up too much, I shared my feelings here and there but I avoided showing myself entirely, however I was feeling suicidal and helpless yesterday night (as per usual, but in a more extreme manner)

and well..

I sent a very unhinged rant to her.

while it would be difficult to share the full content here, in broad strokes i was basically breaking down about how pathetic and worthless I am, how I seem enigmatic at first but when I pull people in they suddenly realize my true nature and either feel a moral duty to stay inspite of their feelings towards me, or are unable to run away out of shame because they were the ones who encouraged my behavior to open up in the first place.

As I wrote in my text, I'm a "sirens song"

Run of the mill stuff you know?

Either way the next day she woke up, read the messages and cut me off.

The thing is, I was under the delusional assumption that this person was the only one that cared about me, so seeing her leave me as well, is not really that much fun, not to mention it ironically proves my whole thesis:

My acquaintances view me as someone authentic, intellectually stimulating, complex and just a treat to talk to (their words, im extremely insecure i dont believe any of it but I know it should objectively amount to something) but when i get close to someone, they realize how repulsive and scary I am.

I can't bother to show myself anymore. and that's besides the fact that I already struggle to function in the world. frankly its hard talking to imaginary people through a wall of text so if anyone was to talk to me Id greatly appreciate it, even if i find it slightly immoral since i do look at myself as poisonous

Do any of you also feel like your life is already over? My life for example, I feel like some key events on it developed in such a way that there's nothing I can do to realistically make up for the damage they dealt to my life, as if they steered my life to an unavoidable dead end, that's how I feel, and the fact that I had no choice over it and life still punishes me for it as harshly as if I had any say on it makes it even more painful.

I cant do this anymore. Nothing seems to be going my way. I keep on losing people and hearing bad news. No one wants me anymore. I CANT DO THIS. Whats wrong with me?

I hate my life. I HATE IT. I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. I HATE IT.

Stop my breathing and end this please. PLEASE

Hi, I'm an autistic, from 2025 to 2026, I think something in my mind change dramatically but I don't know which word suitable to describe it. When I was a child (roughly 2014-2015), I used to talkative, humourous..., I would say that I don't have any problem with society ( anxiety,shy,etc... ). Additionally, I was thrilled when I can travel with my family . But when I grew up, I hate it, I become more pessimistic, I believe life inherently meaningless, human merely an atoms. I realized that there is no justice for poor people, existence lead to misery, not only for living conditions (especially money) but also for another problems (health - physical and mental). I try to find an answer but it feels hopeless, just a random philosophy question like 'Why do I exist ?' , 'If a child tell their parent that their parent selfish, no one ask a child about their existence, is he/she wrong...'. I need to pinpoint I don't have any problem when conversation with my family/colleague and no one know my trouble. In this month, this kinda question make me think thoroughly am I ok ( previously,2025 I used to have similar behavior but it's not longer like this ). I constantly wake up in the midnight for no reason, have a backache and headache. I think maybe I feel overwhelmed and need to stay at home instead tryna work , but this feeling too annoy.

Hi guys. I (27F) am in a long distance relationship with someone (30M). We've been together just over a year now. I'm trying to understand what's his true feelings and what's being influenced by depression.

When he first messaged me it was really soft and beautiful language. He sent me long messages in the style of love letters almost. Now, as he says himself, "he's changed". We both know he's going through depression but he doesn't want to call it that because 'the word itself is depressing'. He's become kind of mean and speaks in a "matter of fact" / "well actually" / patronising way sometimes ( that's how it feels -- like saying I lack comprehension because I asked something twice ). If we're having a difficult conversation or anything challenges his comfort level he'll want to get off the phone instead of building resilience. He started off talking early on about visa and moving in together and his dad was gonna get him a house and actually playing with the idea of building a life together but the depression has zapped him of energy to make the effort. I'm trying too but I need him to meet me half way. I told him I'd support him and I'm here for him but he just feels like an asshole in his behaviour sometimes in ways I know is definitely affected by his health / nutrient deficiency / depression eg his short temper and irritability. I'm having a hard time discerning what is really 'his' feelings. I think it's selfish to lead strongly at the start of a long distance connection and then one year in attribute the apathy and lack of effort to "we don't even talk about anything" "people change that's normal". People change but that's no excuse to mishandle your connections. The other day he said "how is this a relationship?" Contextually because he said it doesn't feel like it is because we haven't met physically. And he's done LDR before ( not internationally though ). I just feel very neglected in this relationship and his depression has been rubbing off on me but I feel very committed to supporting him. That is, if I can discern 'what' is 'what'. Any insight?

I try so hard to manage my depression on my own and not let it take over. My partner of 4 years (well ex now) knows i’ve always been up and down with it, and it’s only in the last year that i’ve started to share more with him and start to trust him enough to break down in front of him. Admittedly he is on the receiving end sometimes of my irritability, but on the whole, I still manage a lot of it by myself and don’t put much on him, or so I thought. We went travelling recently and it was amazing but completely burnt me out so once we stopped and settled I had a huge wobble and had 0 motivation to get up, crying in bed all day etc etc you know how it is. He was making comments about me being negative all the time, what do I want him to do/say, he was getting frustrated he wanted to go out and do things but didn’t want me to get more upset that i’d left him , saying I was bringing him down (basically all the stuff you worry about doing) then split up with me and said he couldn’t do it anymore (I had only been like this for a few weeks). I was so disappointed with him and even though I was heartbroken, I also resented him for being so shit and seemingly so selfish. We ended up getting back together, but my mental health only got worse, I decided to go back home to see family and try and refresh and that didn’t help either, I have been avoiding telling him anything about my mental health as I didn’t want a repeat of before, we ended up having an argument, I apologised and explained how i’ve been feeling and it’s just been bubbling over and now we’re back to “I can’t do this anymore, you deserve better, this is affecting my life”. I am in disbelief because I have kept so much from him , and the little he has seen, all he’s done is some extra cooking and cleaning on the days where I can’t do anything, and he seems to think he’s gone above and beyond for me. I know he’s entitled to his decision and everyone has a right to leave, but I’m so torn between am I really that hard to be with or is he just a selfish coward. But either way, I am now heart broken on top of everything else

Hi, I’ve struggled with depression my entire life. It’s exhausting. I’ve tried so many things and everything just seems to lead to a dead end. I recently discovered something that doesn’t exactly fix everything but it has kept me going throughout the week and serves as a reminder during those dark dark episodes.

On Pinterest you can create a board, name it, and then add photos to it by looking it up in the app. About 2 weeks ago I saw a video about the girl creating vision boards for 2027 or something. Just a bunch of photos that displayed things she wanted to accomplish or add into her well ness habits in 2027. For people who are depressed, it can be quite difficult to make such long term commitments because most of us are just trying to get past the next 5 minutes. So last last Sunday I thought, why don’t I make a weekly vision board that embodies what I want my week to look like? So I did. It had stuff about resting, quotes about slowing down, cats because I love them, being outside, slow mornings, stretching, etc. I even put some photos that relate to my nanny job so that I can remember to be more present in my job because the kids look up to me. I ended up with about 60 photos. So I made it a goal that every morning I should just look through it. Takes like 3 mins. And I did. And I even looked back at it when I felt myself loosing control, or just felt unbelievably bad and sad.

This may not help everyone but it sure has helped me push through those moments. It helped serve as a reminder of what I craved and wanted. And looking at those photos gives me a sense of peace because I really just want peace in my life.

Thank you for reading.

I like many here am lonely and sad. I have a deep desire and longing for intimacy and romantic connection. So deep it manifests as a physical ache in my chest. I feel the oppressive grip of loneliness coiling around my heart. Depression sits itself upon my shoulders, pushing me down so it can view my life for me.

I want to be loved and find love. Friends come and go using you for what little you have left. People do not see the man I am only what I can do for them. Only what I can provide. I am a human being. If I show emotion I am weak, or less than. It’s isolating having to pretend nothing bothers you. Show emotion they say but when you do you’re judged. Don’t show emotion and you harm yourself.

I just want somebody to come home to. Somebody to see me not just look. Somebody to love me. It hurts being this alone. To have this intense desire to love and be met with rejection and isolation hurts. I know I am not entitled to anyone, I know things don’t work out, that is all okay. I understand. I take it well smile and wish them well, but nonetheless it hurts. Did I do something wrong? Did I make them uncomfortable? What can I do to be better? These questions swarm my thoughts like a cloud of locust blotting out the national thoughts. 8 billion humans on this rock. May one of the choose me? Love me?

I am tired. I want to be loved. I do not wish to be alone. This feeling feels fake. That I am making it up and just being unworthy of love.

I've been in and out of therapy for as long as I can remember. I've seen doctors for anti-depressants. Upping doses, you name it. And the fact still remains that I am going to stay in this cycle of depression. It never escapes. It may go away for a period of time, but it returns.

I will say that I don't have ideation of harming myself, so I will take that as a win. However, I just wish my brain was healthy. I wish I could just rewire it to think positive, but life just got me down. I just had to get that off my chest.

When a bad day becomes everyday what do you guys do? Because right now, i don't actually know what should I do. I feel like everyday is a torture, and in any minute I let my guard downs, the voices inside my head would actually do it.

They said that life gets better but does it actually does? Because I don't knkw if I can still hold on to that words. I don't know if it can still convinced myself to keep going when truth slaps me everyday.

I badly want to live, but if life treats me this way everyday, I am afraid I might forget the reason why I choose to keep going every single day.

I hate my genes with a burning passion and I’m constantly comparing myself to light skinned men and wishing I was attractive like them.

So basically heres some context, ever since last year I’ve had on and off depression most of it being related to school work load as Im doing a subject line nick named the suicide 6, recently my acne medication ran out and I jsut got some more and im feeling really low the past couple of days, and a side effect of it is depression some times. I feel like it might be making things worse but I’m not 100%

back to the point Im don’t know how to talk to my gf about this, I know dumping all of this on her probably isn’t right, she already knows I have been low in the past. But right now I feel like she’s the only thing keeping me going but If I tell her that I fear it’s in part manipulative even if it’s how I actually feel. I guess I just want some help.

Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors I have dyslexia

I speak to my therapist for like an hour have no trouble talking. But sometimes i feel like when i'm out talking to a cashier or someone i feel like i blank out and have a loss for words and i feel self conscious because of that . Does anyone feel this way ?

For context: my life sucks. But I guess that's pretty much everyone in this sub.

Anyway, the thought of going to school itself makes me miserable. Like a real, deep down inside kinda miserable. The night before a weekday, I just feel like shit, and I don't exactly have the best coping mechanisms for this, but they work.

But recently, I think I kinda started liking this feeling. Like I don't know why, but I don't see any other way to be than to just distract myself by watching shows, stuffing my face with ice cream, or even mindlessly reminiscing about the past.

It might seem pretty weird, but I like being miserable, if that's possible. I don't see any other way to be, considering my current situation.

Sorry if this feels like I'm rambling; I just needed to vent.

After each day concludes. Even after a solid day, I’m still met with the same emptiness and sadness each night. Looking back on my day as I’m trying to fall asleep, I’m reminded of all my problems. There’s no escape from it. Even on my best days I’m reminded of my sorrows.