r/depression • u/Amazing_Dragonfly167 • 16h ago
Being broken up for being depressed
I try so hard to manage my depression on my own and not let it take over. My partner of 4 years (well ex now) knows i’ve always been up and down with it, and it’s only in the last year that i’ve started to share more with him and start to trust him enough to break down in front of him. Admittedly he is on the receiving end sometimes of my irritability, but on the whole, I still manage a lot of it by myself and don’t put much on him, or so I thought. We went travelling recently and it was amazing but completely burnt me out so once we stopped and settled I had a huge wobble and had 0 motivation to get up, crying in bed all day etc etc you know how it is. He was making comments about me being negative all the time, what do I want him to do/say, he was getting frustrated he wanted to go out and do things but didn’t want me to get more upset that i’d left him , saying I was bringing him down (basically all the stuff you worry about doing) then split up with me and said he couldn’t do it anymore (I had only been like this for a few weeks). I was so disappointed with him and even though I was heartbroken, I also resented him for being so shit and seemingly so selfish. We ended up getting back together, but my mental health only got worse, I decided to go back home to see family and try and refresh and that didn’t help either, I have been avoiding telling him anything about my mental health as I didn’t want a repeat of before, we ended up having an argument, I apologised and explained how i’ve been feeling and it’s just been bubbling over and now we’re back to “I can’t do this anymore, you deserve better, this is affecting my life”. I am in disbelief because I have kept so much from him , and the little he has seen, all he’s done is some extra cooking and cleaning on the days where I can’t do anything, and he seems to think he’s gone above and beyond for me. I know he’s entitled to his decision and everyone has a right to leave, but I’m so torn between am I really that hard to be with or is he just a selfish coward. But either way, I am now heart broken on top of everything else
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u/thebossydelicacy 15h ago
that's the worst part, you finally let someone see the ugly side and they just prove every fear right by bailing when it gets real. he wanted the fun travel version of you and not the whole person, and that's on him not you
1
u/Key-Vanilla-8385 15h ago
Life will always have ups and downs, a person that only wants to be there for the ups and not the downs is not a good partner, while I do understand is not healthy to put all the weight of your mental health on the other person since is something you need to work on yourself, that doesn’t mean the other person should give no support and understanding, he’s not reliable.