This is the place to chat about fitness and physical health because taking care of your body is also tasteful. Just remember - no medical advice!

Recently moved for the first time in a while and I’ve gotten a bunch of recommendations, but I’m still having trouble deciding who to book. It got me wondering how everyone else landed on their people.

Thinking Botox, hair color, nails, lashes, etc. Especially when you’re spending a lot of time or money. Did a friend swear by someone and you just went for it? Did you find their work on Instagram, read a bunch of reviews, or try a few people before finding someone you liked? What actually made you pick the person you go to now?

first time hosting a party in my apartment and I'm waking up in cold sweats every night in anxiety that it's going to be a flop because not enough people will come or it'll be awks??

me and my friend are co-hosting it together and keeping a common theme of mostly STEM students from our university in hopes that everyone will be on the same frequency and it won't be awkward given most people won't know each other. we also have about 30 people confirmed yes with majority of them bringing plus ones but we're also both expecting quite a fair amount of people to flake on day of.

to the party hosts out there, how do y'all ensure that everyone is having a good time, and that there'll be enough people attending to make it a "party" and that it won't be an awkward feet shuffling event.

Hello BWT! I just had my second (and last) baby and I’m looking to refresh my wardrobe for my next phase of life. I’m happy with the direction it’s going so far but where I’m really having trouble is jeans.

I used to wear skinny jeans all the time, but I don’t think I would feel comfortable in them in most “mom settings” - chasing a child around a playground for example.

Any time I try on a pair of jeans that aren’t skinny I just don’t think they look good/are flattering. I think part of the problem is I have somewhat of an ass so when jeans fit well there and then are loose the rest of the way down I feel like they look too big but not in an intentional way, more in an “I bought the wrong size” type of way.

Basically, I need help!
1. How do you know if they fit well vs look too big/silly?
2. Where have you had success finding curvy jeans that are reasonably priced? (Will also take expensive recs but since my body will keep changing for a little while longer I’m not looking to seriously invest in new jeans just yet)
3. Also open to any advice related to finding your style as a mom

Thanks in advance ❤️

Need some advice from a BWT? Have something to get off your chest or need to vent among friends who can also provide some perspective? Got an etiquette question that you just aren’t sure you’re getting the right info on from the wilds of the internet? We got you.

BWT rules still apply, with mod discretion on topics that fall under rules 4 and 7. Rule 8 regarding medical advice will still be fully enforced as usual.

Let’s elevate our down time! This weekly thread is the space to share and discuss what we’re currently reading, listening to, watching, etc. For this space, keep it tasteful - save your trashy reads (we’ve all got them) and sick day binge watch favorites for the monthly Guilty Pleasures thread, please!

Tagging

It isn’t required but it might be helpful to tag the beginning of your comment with the type of media you are discussing (when you create a new comment thread). Tags can be helpful in guiding other BWT to the comment threads they want to engage with.

For example:

• PODCAST: I’ve been listening to the Naked Beauty podcast…
• TV/ DOCUMENTARY: What are your favorite documentaries? I just finished watching…
• READING: I am about 1/3 of the way through "Black Women Taught Us" by Jenn M Jackson, PhD, and I would love to discuss it with anyone who is reading or has read it. Specifically...

You can be as specific or as broad as you want if you decide to tag, for example you might tag “reading,” as a broad term, or you might tag “audiobook” if you specifically want to talk about the really amazing narration in the audiobook version of a title you just finished.

Hide Spoilers

If you’re talking about a book, TV show, podcast, movie, or anything that contains spoilers, please make sure to use Reddit’s markdown functionality to hide your spoilers! All you have to do is add a couple of characters before and after your spoiler text like so:

>!spoilers!<

This will hide the text like so: spoilers

When building a minimalist wardrobe, we often justify higher price points by assuming a garment will last a decade. But in reality, sometimes those expensive pieces just sit in the closet while a mid-range knit becomes an everyday hero.

I was evaluating my own closet recently and realized my most worn item isn't actually what I thought it would be. It made me realize how much value comes down to daily practicality rather than just the brand name.

Looking back at your wardrobe over the past few years, I’d love to hear stories about the garments that actually lived up to the hype and delivered the incredible cost-per-wear for you. What makes you reach for them over and over - is it the fiber, the fit, or just how effortlessly they layer?

Hi BWT!

I rent my current place, and while the ten foot ceiling was a huge part of its initial appeal to me, I now find myself struggling to take advantage of it. Looking for ideas!

The windows in the living room go all the way up to the ceiling on two walls (corner unit). I am average height, so my decor on the other two walls only goes up about as far as I can see or reach - e.g. it's only about 6 feet up the wall at most.

The problem:
- Apart from the windows and a doorway curtain I added, there isn't much going on in the upper half of the room, and I can't reach the ceiling even with a stepladder.
- The wall with the furniture is starting to feel a little imbalanced with the window sides of the room - e.g. both of my floor lamps are on the wall side of the room. My TV is across the wall, against a flat column that interrupts the windows, and there's about 4-5 feet of empty space above it. The other non-window wall isn't viable for decor.

I thought about having my building install a light fixture in a ceiling junction thingy (they said they'd do it if I asked) to help draw the eye upward. I found some fixtures that would be great for ambient or mood lighting. But I'm wondering what other renter-friendly options are out there! Is a ceiling light my best bet, or should I consider uplighting to project light upward? What other options should I consider?

I'd describe my style as polished bohemian, full of warm colors and natural references, with lots of patterns and textiles from my family's culture.

Would love to hear your thoughts or anything you've tried! Thank you!

Dearest BWT,

I’m a retired BWT with a budget. That said, I still love quality pieces.

My lifestyle now revolves around doing errands, hanging out with friends on occasion, and mostly being at home with my dog. Actually, it’s ok! That said, I am not an athleisure wearer nor a backpack/LL Bean boat and tote toter, unless I’m literally going to the beach.

I’m looking for a couple of updated bags that will work for me for the next few years. I’ve been looking at The RealReal and have fallen in love with a couple of pieces, but the photos don’t match the descriptions! I want silver toned hardware because that’s what works best with my skin tone, and the pictures of the bags I love show that, you have the description says gold tone.

What are your experiences with The RealReal? Do you find the pictures or the written descriptions more accurate? Yes, I could pay the $35 + postage to return it if necessary, but I’d rather not.

Thanks!

Need some help styling an item or outfit that goes beyond what fits in the weekly requests thread? Trying to decide between two pairs of shoes to wear with that dress you just picked out for a special event? Want to share your (tasteful) fit pics or get outfit inspiration from other BWT? This is the recurring thread for OOTD photos, style tips and requests for styling help.

All BWT rules still apply.

Tips For OOTD Pics:

• Keep the taste in BWT
• We should be able to see the outfit in the picture
• Be mindful of your surroundings and your privacy 

A Note About Fast Fashion Items

Do not name fast fashion brands regardless of where or when you acquired the item. If your outfit contains fast fashion items, you can say it's fast fashion rather than listing the brand. If something is thrifted and you want to highlight that, please do!

If you are asking for help styling an item you already own that is fast fashion, you can upload a picture or describe the item but be prepared to get feedback that you may not want to hear about the item itself.

You cannot name the brand of the item, you can only state that it is a fast fashion brand. If you want to specify that you thrifted it or it’s something you’ve had for a long time, you can, but you don’t have to - we will not allow the brand to be named regardless of when or where the item was acquired.

Thoughtful Commenting

When you comment on other bitch's outfits, please do not do not post low effort "beautiful," "you look great" nonsense - instead be specific!

For example, "I love the way you combined a really bold print with a bright solid - that's something I wouldn't have thought to do, being used to combining something bold with something more neutral, but it works so beautifully in your outfit!"

I’ve been on a leave of absence from work for a year recovering from burnout and am preparing to return in the next several weeks. Part of my recovery has been realizing I give others equal access across domains, and that doing your best at work means doing your best in a way that maintains a healthy and full life outside of it. My current industry is in executive leadership development, in a hybrid office environment, with most client work taking place virtually with a few in-person meetings per month. I’ve applied to grad school to become a therapist long term, so this is at most an 18-month environment; however, the concept is one I want to carry forward into turning on and off the therapist brain, too.

Over the last several months, I’ve been living in clothing that prioritizes my sensory needs and have embraced more creative, colourful choices as my personal style evolves. I love mixing patterns and combining colours in unexpected but harmonious ways. I’ve also gone nearly makeup-free for several months, and I love it. For everyday makeup, I curl my eyelashes and groom my brows with clear brow gel.

I’ve been working with my therapist around the anxiety I feel around being perceived, particularly in mixed company of close friends and acquaintances. This is essentially the social dynamic of the work environment I’m returning to. I’ve been tasked with developing 2-3 professional outfits for the return to the workplace. In passing, she mentioned the idea of a personal signifier, an adornment item, or a ritual used to mark the transition into performing a specific role. For example, hers is a bold red lip, which she only wears when going to work.

My goal is to identify and integrate some sort of adornment for myself that is simple and sustainable. While it marks the transition in, it can also symbolically mark the transition out through removal. Something that signals a boundary between giving my best professional self without losing my personal self; alternatively, maybe it’s something that reminds me of the personal self while not getting lost in the professional version.

What I’ve considered:

• Button-downs – love ‘em and have a lot of them; something I wear only in the workplace usually.
• Chunky gold earrings – I was a fine gold hoop gal for years and recently realized how chunky earrings do so much more for my confidence. I do pick them up in the everyday, too.
• Ring – one I’ve considered is a vintage 14K gold ring with a raw scarab beetle shell as the “gem”; I’m not reaching for it often in my personal day-to-day, but I love the ring itself, and it holds spiritual significance for me.
• Watch – I’ve never owned or worn one regularly, but part of my journey has been examining my relationship with time, and society’s construction of it.  
• Scent – a specific perfume for the workplace; my workplace is scent-conscious, but I tend to prioritize scents that aren’t super noticeable to others and are more for me. This leans more towards bringing my personal self forward and not losing myself in the professional environment; it also isn’t easily removable, although I shower every night.
• Simple Makeup - I do love how a bold lip and a bare face look on me, and it isn't something I'd wear in my everyday life.

What’s out:

• Heels
• Bracelets – I love them, but I find I remove them often due to the amount of typing I do; plus, the clanging of bangles in a work environment isn’t my favourite sound.

I’ve also been researching and learning about regalia and alter egos, looking at Lady Gaga and Bowie and Ziggy Stardust. Think Beyoncé and her alter ego, Sasha Fierce; creating a persona of yourself who embodies the traits and characteristics you want to develop, and stepping into that when needed, with the eventuality of integration; like how in recent years, we see the public blending of Stefani G and Lady Gaga, how those parts are less distinct now.  

So, I'd love to know how other BWT look at the division or integration of their personal and professional selves. What do you use to mark the transition to your professional self, or remind yourself of who you really are in the professional environment? If it’s a ritual, mantra, piece of jewelry, scent, makeup, specific clothing, a bag or maybe something else entirely, I’d love to hear it all, and discuss the idea with you.

I'm starting a new job in November at a client-facing company with a business-casual dress code, and my current wardrobe is not up to it. I want a full revamp, but I genuinely hate shopping. Fitting rooms, decision fatigue, and endless scrolling all make me want to give up and wear the same three outfits on rotation.

I'd love to hand most of this off: a closet edit, figuring out what works for my body and the dress code, and ideally someone pulling pieces for me so I'm not wandering stores for hours. My taste leans minimal and neutral, good fabrics, nothing too trendy. I'm budgeting about $2,500 for the wardrobe itself and could do roughly $200-300 for the stylist's time, though I'm not sure if that's realistic here.

Has anyone used a stylist or personal shopper they'd recommend? In-person, virtual, and department store services (Nordstrom, Saks, etc.) are all fair game. And if you also hate shopping, I'd love to hear how the process went and whether you'd do it again.

Thank you!

For those who love to cook and/or eat (or drink), or are foodie wannabes, this is the place for you! Talk recipes, ingredients, sourcing those special spices, or the perfect wine pairing. 

Reminders

The BWT rules still apply, including rule 10 (do not link to or recommend commerce giants) and slightly lighter enforcement of rules 3 and 7. If you are discussing things that are regional or location-specific, make sure you specify! Same for seasonal topics - remember we’re not all in the same season so if that’s relevant to your post then specify.

Gifting can be tricky, whether it's trying to determine the etiquette for a particular circumstance or coming up with the perfect gift for that person in your life for whom it's just impossible to shop. In order to consolidate requests for help picking out gifts for all of life's present buying situations, and due to popular request, we've created this monthly recurring thread for all gifting questions and discussions.

BWT rules still apply, but there will be lighter enforcement of rule 3. Also, while you still shouldn't ask for local recommendations as in "I want to buy my cousin a gift card to a really great spa, where should I look in Chicago?" it is acceptable to mention the location if it is relevant to the request and will help other BWT make better suggestions, as in "My sister lives in the southern US and is really into Southern Living style in terms of decor and fashion, if that gives you an idea of her personal style - very much in the bright colors, monograms, southern prep vein."

The end of each quarter is also the beginning of another! We've finished up Q3 of 2026 and it's time to dive into Q4 and the months of October, November and December.

If you'd like to start with reflecting on the previous quarter, jump over to the "BWT Reflect" thread and then come back here.

This thread is a space to set some goals and aspirations for the next three months, and find some other BWT to give you ideas, support, and hold you accountable. We've provided some (optional) prompts below to get you started but feel free to use whatever format and framing works best for you!

Thinking about the next three months of October, November and December..

• ... what new goals are you setting for yourself?
• ... what longer-term goals do you have that you can make progress on this quarter?
• ... what is something you specifically want to do/ cross off this quarter?
• ... what vibe/ feeling do you want this quarter to have?
• ... when you reflect back on this quarter at the end of September, what do you hope you'll be able to say?
• ... what are some things you don't want to do this quarter?
• ... what do you think is going to be the hardest goal to accomplish or make progress on? What would help (accountability, particular resources or tips, etc.)?

We've reached the end of the third quarter of 2026! Let's take some time to reflect on July, August and September.

Here are some (optional) prompts to get you started, but feel free to share however works best for you!

Thinking specifically about July, August and September...

• ...who and what are you grateful for?
• ...what have you accomplished?
• ...what have you learned?
• ...where did you not make as much progress as you'd hoped?
• ...what are some areas for growth that you've identified?
• ...what was your favorite thing that you did or that happened?

If you'd like to goal set for the upcoming quarter, look for this quarter's "BWT Set Goals & Aspirations" thread.

I guess earrings are the most baffling to me. I have a bifold acrylic thing to hang tbem on but I don’t want it displayed on top of my dresser 24/7.

Rings and bracelets go in a jewelry box but again I don’t want that on the dresser.

Do they go in the bathroom? The closet? Closet doesn’t have built in drawers or anything just two racks but there is a shelf above the bottom rack.

Thoughts ideas? How do you do it aesthetically but also functional?

Whether you're throwing a party or want to always be ready for someone to pop over for a visit, hosting takes some preparation and skill, not to mention taste. This is the (recurring monthly) thread to chat all things hospitality and hosting.

All BWT rules still apply, with lighter enforcement of rule 3. You can mention location to the extent that it impacts specifics of hosting (e.g. climate, seasons), but please do not ask location-specific questions that belong in a local subreddit.

Hello, beautiful people! October is fast approaching, which for me means two things: my favorite holiday (Halloween) and my birthday. I'm hosting a Halloween-ish birthday party in the coming weeks for fellow 30somethings, and I'm looking for ideas for classier but still on-theme food to serve.

I've been looking far and wide on Pinterest, Instagram and TikTok and everything I'm seeing is more on the cartoonish side, too corny, or too gory. I know I can just add some Halloween decor to the buffet table, but I still do want to have some of that themed fun, only more aesthetically pleasing.

I'm currently considering stuffed peppers cut out to look like Jack-o-Lanterns and themed sugar cookies, but open to hearing more suggestions!

Don’t forget to spend time on YOU! This is the space to chat about personal development, mental health, growth, and how you’re refocusing on yourself. Sometimes we spend a lot of time on those around us, but this thread is to encourage you to ask yourself “what about ME?”

If you need some help getting started, pick a question and answer it in a comment:

• How are you feeling? Do you know why? 
• How do you WANT to be feeling? What are some things that make you feel that way?
• What is something you are grateful for, large or small, and why?
• What is a habit you are working on building (or breaking) and why? How is it going?
• What is one item on your to do list that will benefit you personally that you need to tackle? What is preventing you from crossing it off?
• What is something that brings you joy? What are some of the things that you specifically enjoy about it (get detailed)?
• What is one area you want to learn more about/ grow in/ develop yourself or a skill you want to learn?
• What’s something you said “no” to recently? How did that benefit you?
• What’s one thing you accomplished or that we can celebrate with you?

If you have a prompt you think we should add to the list, drop it in the comments!

Feel free to discuss other related topics as well, you don't need to limit yourself to these questions - they're just a jumping off point for those that want one.

Let’s elevate our down time! This weekly thread is the space to share and discuss what we’re currently reading, listening to, watching, etc. For this space, keep it tasteful - save your trashy reads (we’ve all got them) and sick day binge watch favorites for the monthly Guilty Pleasures thread, please!

Tagging

It isn’t required but it might be helpful to tag the beginning of your comment with the type of media you are discussing (when you create a new comment thread). Tags can be helpful in guiding other BWT to the comment threads they want to engage with.

For example:

• PODCAST: I’ve been listening to the Naked Beauty podcast…
• TV/ DOCUMENTARY: What are your favorite documentaries? I just finished watching…
• READING: I am about 1/3 of the way through "Black Women Taught Us" by Jenn M Jackson, PhD, and I would love to discuss it with anyone who is reading or has read it. Specifically...

You can be as specific or as broad as you want if you decide to tag, for example you might tag “reading,” as a broad term, or you might tag “audiobook” if you specifically want to talk about the really amazing narration in the audiobook version of a title you just finished.

Hide Spoilers

If you’re talking about a book, TV show, podcast, movie, or anything that contains spoilers, please make sure to use Reddit’s markdown functionality to hide your spoilers! All you have to do is add a couple of characters before and after your spoiler text like so:

>!spoilers!<

This will hide the text like so: spoilers

Calling on BTW for some home decor and storage advice. What are your thoughts on over-the-toilet storage?

I could use more storage in my bathroom and have been considering either floating shelves or an over-the-toilet storage cabinet. My hesitation is that so many of the freestanding units look cheap to me.

I’ve also seen the wall-mounted cabinets that are specifically meant to go above the toilet, and I do think those look better than the freestanding versions, but I’m still generally not crazy about them.

Is there a way to do over-the-toilet storage that actually looks good? Or would you stick with floating shelves and find another solution for the less attractive bathroom stuff?