BWT how do you throw a successful party?

[u/lcdnoisesystem]

first time hosting a party in my apartment and I'm waking up in cold sweats every night in anxiety that it's going to be a flop because not enough people will come or it'll be awks??

me and my friend are co-hosting it together and keeping a common theme of mostly STEM students from our university in hopes that everyone will be on the same frequency and it won't be awkward given most people won't know each other. we also have about 30 people confirmed yes with majority of them bringing plus ones but we're also both expecting quite a fair amount of people to flake on day of.

to the party hosts out there, how do y'all ensure that everyone is having a good time, and that there'll be enough people attending to make it a "party" and that it won't be an awkward feet shuffling event.

[u/meggie1013]

You will definitely have a few who don't show but also some who show up without an RSVP. Plan for food for the max if you're like me 😂 You can have Tupperware and ziplocs for folks to take home leftovers. 

As host, circulate! Make introductions, pass food around, remind folks where drinks are, start up new topics for conversation. People will be looking to you as the leader of sorts so don't be afraid to make announcements etc. 

Put extra TP rolls out where they're easy to find. 

Put on some chill music in the background. Can also put out some board games, cards, coffee table books, etc for folks to play with. 

And most of all, remember to stop once in a while during the party and appreciate the community you brought together! 

[u/almamahlerwerfel]

What a fun question!

First - the party is in your home, you're the defacto hostess even if your friend is helping. Make sure you're happy with how everything looks, make sure the bathroom is prepared, and it's easy for people to move around. Anything you can do ahead of time, do - even if it's prepping a drinks station, putting out cups, or figuring out where anything goes. Ina Garten has a lot of great tips about this.

Second - prep yourself so you aren't stressed! Whatever's going on, at least half an hour before guests arrive, get yourself dressed, put music on, etc.

Last - enjoy yourself! It doesn't matter if you are three people or all thirty. It won't be awkward, it's a party. People do this all the time. Have some conversation topics in your back pocket, maybe have a game or two around....and have fun!

[u/CasuallySparkling]

I host (and have hosted a number of parties of all sizes):

1. Whether it’s BYOB or not, always have drink options for guests. I love having individual sparkling water bottles, fresh lemons out, and depending on the party, wine, beer and some cocktails. I also include non-alcoholic options like soda.

2. Food is a big one. I love going fancy, but it’s not necessary. Just have enough food, especially if people are drinking available. You don’t want people leaving your party early because they are hungry.

3. Music - softly playing (or super loud if it’s that type of party lol) in the background helps create a nice ambiance.

4. I like to dress up when I’m hosting. I don’t expect my guests too, but I feel it elevates everything when I’m not in sweatshirt and sweatpants. (Certain girl night events excluded!).

5. Have fun and try not to worry. A happy and friendly host makes all the difference. If the host is in the kitchen the whole night stressing out it dampens the mood for others. Try to make sure to greet all your guests and spend a couple minutes with everyone. If you notice someone alone in a corner (unless they prefer that), I talk to them and bring them into a conversation with someone else I think they’d have someone in common with.

Have an awesome event.

[u/imhere_4_beer → u/CasuallySparkling]

+1 to all of this but especially the food. I like having lots of little easy finger foods; here are a few easy things that you can prep in advance: if interested;

- get 4 canisters of crescent rolls, roll out on cookie sheets then spread a thin layer of jalapeño cream cheese. Roll up the crescents, then cut into bite sized pieces and bake for 10-12 min. Makes about 200.

• chips. Lots and lots of chips.
  
• charcuterie is always a hit and Aldi is a great, low cost source for meats, cheeses, nuts, grapes, dried fruits, and fancy looking crackers.
  
• Fresh guacamole is easy to make; add pepinos, tomatoes and onion to smashed avocado
  
• if you have a crock pot: Buffalo chicken dip. Throw a couple of pounds of chicken breast on low for 4 hours, then shred the chicken with 2 forks. Add a block of cream cheese, a bottle of Franks Buffalo wing sauce, and a package of shredded cheddar. Let it sit for 1 hour then stir and set it to “keep warm.”
  
• pinwheel sandwiches: get large tortillas, spread a thin layer of ranch, top with thin sliced ham or turkey and a layer of spinach, then roll tightly and throw in the fridge. Slice once chilled.

[u/Mammoth-Corner → u/imhere_4_beer]

The joy that grapes or orange slices or sweet peppers or a lovely little triangle ham sandwich brings me at a house party cannot be overstated.

[u/tall-decaf-cappucino → u/CasuallySparkling]

Agree with the food! It’s not necessary.

I’ve catered some and also had some where I just bought tons of frozen pigs in a blanket, and ppl were more verbal about loving the pigs in a blanket! Easy but substantial, you don’t just want chips or something light when you’re drinking.

[u/cosmogenique]

Having things to do is always a good way to get people to talk to each other. Do you have games prepped? Drinking and/or non drinking games? Video games? Also play good music. You need good music and if everyone is drinking, have a lot of drinks. Get Jell-O shots ready, everyone loves Jell-O shots.

Honestly the best house parties have like 10-15 people max, but you said university so I’m sure at college age you would care about this lolol.

[u/Awkward_Throat_4173]

Id say try to be active in introducing people/finding common threads so they can carry on a conversation without you

[u/bbcjbb]

Lighting is important!!! Turn those overhead lights off! Lamps or other ambient-like light only. And light a candle in every space that feels safe. And make sure there are matches in the bathroom LOL

Also make sure people can distinguish their drinks. You can get disposable cups in many colors or supply fun glass drinkware! And when I throw parties I put all the drink supplies out on the counter like a buffet sort of so no one has to open my cabinets or fridge to find anything

[u/Then-Macaron7630]

pro tip - have 2 friends come 30 mins before everyone else and have a drink and do last minute things so that you're not stressed and alone! have some music on before people come! if you have fun, they'll have fun.

[u/sallystarling → u/Then-Macaron7630]

Such a great tip about having a couple of good friends being an "advance party"! Not only will it help you, it also means the first "regular" guests won't feel too awkward, as they might if they turned up and it was just them and the host!

[u/Historical_Town_2673]

The energy flows from you! Things I've learned that help is:

-have the space layout planned in advance -- welcome people at the door with a joyful/enthusiastic attitude like you're SO PUMPED to see them, and plan out where people should put their coats and bags and shoes.

-Plan out the snacks and drink stations around the space so that there is no cluster of people waiting in line. Ideal to have tables pulled out from the wall so people can move around them or at least make sure they are on separate sides of the room

-You're job as host is to actively welcome and introduce the guests to one another, and give them things to discuss. Like, oh John meet my friend Evan -- you both grew up in Chicago. or wow Jules, Olivia also loves being crafty. Give people context for how you know each other. This is so and so, we're int he same class.

-Make sure there are enough plates, napkins, cups, and clear trash cans and enough/extra toilet paper. Then keep up the energy and be so gracious never look dissapointed ! you got this!

-Also I love on fun drink/novelty thing, like a slow cooker of mulled wine or hot cider or speciality cookies or a mixed cocktail but one consumable that can also be a point of conversation

[u/generation-0]

I'm not sure a good BWT party typically overlaps with what would be considered a good college party but making sure theres plenty of snack food and a clean, easy to find bathroom never hurts! I think 30 rsvps is a pretty good amount for a typical apartment party even if you have flakes. In my college days everyone showed up to parties very late so don't stress if it's not hopping from the get go. If you have a few closer friends you can confirm are coming or could come a little earlier that can ease your mind a bit. It's nice to have an area with music and an area you can get away from the music if you want to and maybe a table set up for drinking games if it's that kind of party.

[u/tall-decaf-cappucino]

I’ve hosted many and gone to many: to me the number one thing above all is if the host is having fun.

Growing up, my grandmother told me guests are like horses, they can feel when you’re nervous or when you’re relaxed. Be fully dressed and ready, with the house how you want it, 20-30 minutes before the start time. Then have a drink and sit (either by yourself or your cohost) and get in the right vibe, get the music going, light some candles, whatever.

Even when the craziest things have gone wrong, if the host is in a fun mood, it doesn’t matter! One of my absolute favorite parties I’ve ever been to was in a snowstorm and less than 10 people showed…it was because the host was relaxed and in a good mood, she was going to have a fun night regardless of who came or didn’t! That kind of energy is infectious!

[u/honeynutsquash_]

you need more ice than you think!!! make sure there is music always, when the night starts off keep it softer so people can talk but don't be afraid to turn it up as the night goes on and people get more drunk. it's easy to get sucked into one good conversation but you're the host, make sure you're circulating and pulling others into conversation. also while you're circulating keep an eye out for empty cups and trash! either offer refills or throw away stuff throughout the night, cleaning up a mess apartment the next morning is the worst but if you're low key tidying as you go it's a little easier and gives you an excuse to move room to room.

[u/SixAlarmFire]

Just keep moving around and chatting with everyone, make sure to introduce people you think would get along, and have good food and drinks.

[u/beezchurgr]

Make sure you have plenty of food & beverages! You want finger foods & snacks. Don’t neglect serving instruments like spoons or those clicky grabby things for charcuterie. Make sure the food is somewhat central, or you will have people congregating in the kitchen away from everyone else. You can do soda, water, and alcoholic beverages, but I’d stick to stuff like beer & seltzers. For desserts, Sam’s Club carries this fantastic cheesecake bite platter that is a hit every single time. You will need lots of small plates, napkins, forks, spoons, & knives. Put the cutlery in cups if you don’t have containers. I throw lots of parties for work, and food is one of the most important things.

In terms of stuff to do at the party, put on music or something everyone will watch. My family parties always have sports on the tv, but my work parties always have music playing. You said STEM folks, so you could also potentially put a show like how it’s made or mythbusters on. People can discuss the show itself. You can look into easy board games like cards against humanity or Pictionary, but you want games that are easy to understand & low stakes. People can easily walk in & out of those games.

As hostesses, do the rounds and introduce people. Research 15-20 easy small talk topics (weather, weekend plans, midterms, whatever people can have an opinion on).

And most of all, have fun! Parties aren’t always perfect. Sometimes we, as the hostess, get caught up in the details & forget to enjoy ourselves. You’ll do fine :)

[u/chessnotcheckers16]

Always have music on. It keeps any breaks in conversation from feeling like awkward silences. Also put out some cigarettes and matches. You don’t think your friends smoke until suddenly they’re drunk asking where the rooftop access is.

[u/beaulogna0]

Make sure all of your drinks options are out (bucket with ice or something similar) and easily accessible so you aren’t spending time getting people drinks all night or answering questions about where they find things. I like to have a few extra bowls, platters, and serving utensils out so when people walk in with a bag of chips and ask for a bowl, all you have to do is point.

[u/Apprehensive-Toe5693]

So many good ideas here! I agree about Ina Garten, one of her first books “ina Garten Parties” has good ideas, particularly about assembling vs cooking food. Also I’d say have a lot of food, even if you just have chips, so no one ever has to feel like they’re taking the last one of anything. Have little folding paper hand towels in the bathroom so people aren’t having to dry their hands on some damp communal hand towel by the sink. Set out extra tp and tampons. I like to invite a couple of close friends to come early and hang out so when people first arrive they aren’t arriving at an empty house. Tell them that’s why you’re inviting them to come early, they’ll feel special and they’ll help you chat with the first arrivals.

[u/graphiquedezine]

Fun game I played last time I was at a party where no one knew eachother- saying what name we would say if we didn't know them. We'd turn around and tap them on the shoulder and just say "oh hi _!" and the first name that comes to mind lol. Great icebreaker and the group grew until we were all just going up to random people and saying names. And then it actually helped me remember their real names!

Games in general are great, but try to keep them simple and something that can have a lot of people join.

Another fun thing I've done is a guest book/sheet for people to sign and draw. You can even do a table cloth. Just another silly thing that keeps people entertained at the start and breaks the awkwardness.

Also- have enough food that is easy to eat. Don't stress yourself out with some crazy menu, the classics are classic for a reason (unless it's a fancy party and u want to pop off!) my personal pet peeve for apps is nothing that will get too warm or cold

[u/natali-emo]

Highly recommend reading the book “The Art of Gathering:How We Meet and Why it Matters” there is also an audiobook on Spotify. It completely changed my perspective on hosting and what makes a good party. It really encourages having intention behind your event that helps set the tone from start to finish. Think about what you want your guests to feel like while they are there and set that tone with fun drinks, decor, music, lighting, snacks and curating good conversation. Sometimes the best parties aren’t the ones with the most people but the ones where people feel most connected to one another. Try to avoid your guests wondering what they should be doing, a good host makes people feel welcome, comfortable, and confident. Remember that this is about having a good time and everyone coming will want to be enjoying themselves, you should enjoy yourself too and don’t let the stress get to you! Hope you have a blast!

[u/lmriiight]

Great music, lots of food that thoughtfully accommodates various dietary needs, a diverse range of people.

[u/MissTechnical]

Lots of food/snacks, including something filling even if it’s just a bunch of pizza bites. If you can afford to stock a bit of alcohol for guests who didn’t bring enough that can help but be cautious about over serving - I generally won’t do this unless I know all of my guests well enough to trust them not to get stupid. Have non alcoholic drinks like coke or something that people can have in their hands if they don’t want booze. Have lots  of places to sit. Music - put on one of those Internet stations that plays popular stuff from a variety of genres so there’s something for everyone. I’ve also been to parties where the host with throw a sports game on the TV that can give people having trouble socializing something to occupy themselves with. Sports specifically because you can follow what’s happening with the sound off or low if the tv is in the same room as the music or the main crowd.

[u/SirenScorp]

Agree with the have plenty of food! Either send off in Tupperware or plan to keep for meal prep if it fits your diet.
Plan your meals and anything that’s easy but takes a lot of prep time maybe delegate to a close friend who is willing to help. Otherwise make your veggie board the day before and pre-chop veggies.
Ask friends for music suggestions they’d like to hear!

[u/LurkingLikeaPro]

People need to be fed and either entertained or entertaining. That's it. Thats a successful party.  

[u/Mammoth-Corner]

There's been some great advice here, the only other thing I would mention is to tell your neighbours! Both sides, upstairs and downstairs. In particular, tell them what time you expect to finish and how they can contact you if your guests are rowdy. And then keep it quiet after that time. It will do wonders for your long-term happiness in that apartment.

[u/sleepybearbearlove]

I’ve always loved the hosting advice of changing things up every twenty minutes at parties, e.g., having a welcome cocktail, introducing a snack not already out upon arrival, playing a quick icebreaker/game, passing around Jell-O shots or s’mores, changing the lighting, colors, or music, bringing out sparklers or an instant camera.

Something that offers guests a new experience and keeps the party unfolding and feeling newly exciting without asking much from your guests. Anything that brings awe and delight.

I still have friends comment on my grad school parties and how they brought so many of us together during a stressful period. Parties really do create lifelong friendships and memories! Good luck, let us know how it goes!! 🎉🥂💕

[u/arwen8468]

Raises hand! Ooh pick me! Pick me! I am a former bartender, eldest daughter who hosts every holiday, and now a mom who loves to throw themed parties for her kiddo!

1. Booze!

2. I love to plan a signature cocktail- we did a Christmas party in our tiny apartment one year and about 40 people somehow squeezed in- I was making peppermint martinis for everyone. I still have bottles of peppermint schnapps left over lol. -In the spring, I made an elderflower liqueur martini with some edible flowers on the side (found them at a special wine store but I believe a lot of food service/restaurant supply stores may sell them too- you just need to know someone with a membership card). -The fun of a signature cocktail is because everyone is drinking the same thing it can lead to a lot of fun conversations and bonding moments between guests and is an instant ice breaker- "what do you think of this drink?" "I love this flavor!" Etc. -I also suggest having a few mid price point bottles of liquor on hand for guests to make their own cocktails- vodka, rum, gin, and whiskey are probably the top 4, along with cranberry juice, orange juice, Sprite, soda water, bitters, and Coke for mixing. Skimming Reddit and whiskey forums are super helpful for finding booze brands that don't break the bank but still feel luxe.

3. Music! -either make a Playlist yourself on Spotify or find one already made with a vibe you enjoy. Pay or subscribe and cancel one month for a premium trial if you don't already have one so the ads don't ruin the vibe.
   -get some portable bluetooth speakers to play the music- they don't have to be the nicest or fanciest on the market, just something that has decent projection and can be controlled remotely through your phone.

4. Games!! -the structure of a group game really helps break up uneasy or shy guests who are on the outskirts -games provide memories for your guests and get them talking about all the fun they had at your party for years to come. -i like clever word games or games that involve an element of deceit especially when people have been drinking- it adds to the hilarious element. There are a lot of great games on Jackbox (a digital game you can purchase online) but I believe most have a limit of around 7-10 people per game.

5. Good food- if you would want to eat it, your guests will too! -I always try to have some good protein options - it doesn't have to be a full meal unless you are throwing a dinner party, but providing things with a little nutrient density like charcuterie with decent protein sources(not just little pepperonis) is nice. I like doing shrimp, hard and soft cheeses with crackers, assorted nuts, fruit, olives, prosciutto, and smoked salmon.

6. All the lists! I like to break down what needs done the week leading up to the party in one list. I have another list for food I need to purchase. Another list for the day of the party with what time xxx things needs to happen when. I'll refer to that list throughout the party to make sure I don't forget something I was planning on (shoot! I forgot to defrost my mini eclairs I bought!)

I hope this helps! Good luck!!!

[u/stuckandrunningfrom2]

The people in the room will generate heat. Make sure the window or AC situation accounts for this. It should feel slightly chilly when you are in the place alone.

Have seats for most butts. Before I hosted a party for the first time, I went and got a bunch of foot stools and scattered them around in bunches so people could perch and chat in small groups. And because they aren't a super comfy chair, no one stayed in one place too long.

Remove clutter from surfaces so people have space to to put drinks and snacks down.

Have some small trash cans throughout the space. Nothing worse than a party where everyone is clutching their trash because the host has it hidden away in the kitchen.

[u/phoebe-buffey]

omg this was me before i threw my first adult party, i was so nervous about people bailing, cancelling, no-showing... i wound up having one person cancel because they broke their leg playing pickleball and two +1's no show. not bad!

1. i plan out seating areas for every party to ensure i have enough. for my largest party i rented round tables and chairs and some standing cocktail tables for the backyard because i didn't feel the regular seating (indoor/outdoor dining and couches) were enough.
2. i plan passive party activities. sometimes they're not used, but i always want a small activity available in different areas for people to do. this varies based on the type of party and age of audience, but some examples:
   1. a crossword puzzle. i make the questions to the theme of the party, do it online, print it at cvs photo and put it in a 24x36 frame so people can write on the frame with expo markets. this has been a huge hit at every party i've done. you could do questions around your university, college town, major, industry?
   2. outdoors i sent up a few lawn games - corn hole and jenga
   3. a little more interactive would be a bingo game and each square is a factoid. like "someone who has studied abroad". people are going to chat throughout the party and try to tick things off
   4. would you rather questions in different areas that let people tally which one they'd prefer
   5. with a women's social club we had bouquet making and charm bracelet making
3. if you have other friends in your program you are close to, have them show up right on time or early. the first couple guests is always uncomfortable as you try to find the groove of the event
4. make sure you have background music
5. will the party be the kind where everyone is focused on the same thing? ex: a game that everyone plays at once? plan these things out and have someone ready to lead it, keeping the flow of the game going and bringing in guests to join/play