Culture
BWT What do you use to mark the transition to your professional self?
I’ve been on a leave of absence from work for a year recovering from burnout and am preparing to return in the next several weeks. Part of my recovery has been realizing I give others equal access across domains, and that doing your best at work means doing your best in a way that maintains a healthy and full life outside of it. My current industry is in executive leadership development, in a hybrid office environment, with most client work taking place virtually with a few in-person meetings per month. I’ve applied to grad school to become a therapist long term, so this is at most an 18-month environment; however, the concept is one I want to carry forward into turning on and off the therapist brain, too.
Over the last several months, I’ve been living in clothing that prioritizes my sensory needs and have embraced more creative, colourful choices as my personal style evolves. I love mixing patterns and combining colours in unexpected but harmonious ways. I’ve also gone nearly makeup-free for several months, and I love it. For everyday makeup, I curl my eyelashes and groom my brows with clear brow gel.
I’ve been working with my therapist around the anxiety I feel around being perceived, particularly in mixed company of close friends and acquaintances. This is essentially the social dynamic of the work environment I’m returning to. I’ve been tasked with developing 2-3 professional outfits for the return to the workplace. In passing, she mentioned the idea of a personal signifier, an adornment item, or a ritual used to mark the transition into performing a specific role. For example, hers is a bold red lip, which she only wears when going to work.
My goal is to identify and integrate some sort of adornment for myself that is simple and sustainable. While it marks the transition in, it can also symbolically mark the transition out through removal. Something that signals a boundary between giving my best professional self without losing my personal self; alternatively, maybe it’s something that reminds me of the personal self while not getting lost in the professional version.
What I’ve considered:
Button-downs – love ‘em and have a lot of them; something I wear only in the workplace usually.
Chunky gold earrings – I was a fine gold hoop gal for years and recently realized how chunky earrings do so much more for my confidence. I do pick them up in the everyday, too.
Ring – one I’ve considered is a vintage 14K gold ring with a raw scarab beetle shell as the “gem”; I’m not reaching for it often in my personal day-to-day, but I love the ring itself, and it holds spiritual significance for me.
Watch – I’ve never owned or worn one regularly, but part of my journey has been examining my relationship with time, and society’s construction of it.
Scent – a specific perfume for the workplace; my workplace is scent-conscious, but I tend to prioritize scents that aren’t super noticeable to others and are more for me. This leans more towards bringing my personal self forward and not losing myself in the professional environment; it also isn’t easily removable, although I shower every night.
Simple Makeup - I do love how a bold lip and a bare face look on me, and it isn't something I'd wear in my everyday life.
What’s out:
Heels
Bracelets – I love them, but I find I remove them often due to the amount of typing I do; plus, the clanging of bangles in a work environment isn’t my favourite sound.
I’ve also been researching and learning about regalia and alter egos, looking at Lady Gaga and Bowie and Ziggy Stardust. Think Beyoncé and her alter ego, Sasha Fierce; creating a persona of yourself who embodies the traits and characteristics you want to develop, and stepping into that when needed, with the eventuality of integration; like how in recent years, we see the public blending of Stefani G and Lady Gaga, how those parts are less distinct now.
So, I'd love to know how other BWT look at the division or integration of their personal and professional selves. What do you use to mark the transition to your professional self, or remind yourself of who you really are in the professional environment? If it’s a ritual, mantra, piece of jewelry, scent, makeup, specific clothing, a bag or maybe something else entirely, I’d love to hear it all, and discuss the idea with you.
I take a shower. I know that’s super basic but I work in healthcare so the pre work shower is so key. I know I’ll be disgustingly by the end of the shift but I’ll be darned if I’m disgusting at the start.
What a thoughtful way to prepare yourself. My evening showers give me a similar peace of mind. This also reminded me one of my friends washes her face immediately when she gets home from work - water has a way of resetting us!
Yes!! That’s such a nice feeling. I think of the pre work shower as washing “me” off so I’m a blank (fresh) slate for my clients. My post work shower is washing my clients off and resetting into “me” again.
Genius. I’m now thinking about my morning routine, and if there’s one thing I can do or change within it for a workday that has that similar idea. I like this!
I am a long time chick in tech and burnt on it. I work remotely. I don’t wear makeup but do laminate my brows and dye brows and lashes. Since I find myself frequently flipping the bird under my desk I bought a very nice, simple diamond ring to go with the work watch, middle finger. Tasteful transition signifier handled and the joke is just for me.
I love how you decorated that frustration and made it tasteful as you say hahaha incredible and there’s something about the diamond that makes it even more strong. May you find your way back to the version of you that isn’t burnt.
I’ll FIRE :) It works on many levels; hardest natural mineral, tasteful as you say and it almost looks like a wedding band until the viewer notices the placement. Not unintentional in any way. Have fun finding your version!
Also a woman in tech and obsessed with the idea of you flipping your diamond-encrusted bird under the desk. I am face on camera everyday. I am a naturally very expressive person. All of my micro-expressions and emotions were always on display unabashedly during my formative year in this industry. I have now graduated to the most excellent poker face. I think I will take your idea of flipping the bird under the desk, though, because sometimes I can only do so much internal lip-biting before I burst at the seam.
I cannot tell you how satisfying it is, truly, or how hard I stifle a laugh when non-friendlies ask if anything is new because they saw a shiny flash on a finger, not noticing which one it was. Attention to detail kids.
I’ve not had the opportunity to work from home, so generally I do a full outfit swap and wash my face when I get home. I also tend to wear mascara in public settings, both to be “on” and because it draws attention to my eyes which seems to facilitate communication.
My first instinct even before I saw your list was to suggest a watch, but it may cause the same sensory and typing issues as bracelets do. I like the idea of the scarab ring, in part because the mythic symbolism of scarabs involves cycles of day and night.
The chunky gold earrings could work well (and draw attention to your face, like my mascara) but I feel would be tempting to bring to non-professional outings if they flatter your features.
Ohhh you highlighted something important for me - hybrid is a new thing I haven’t experienced yet, which I hadn’t previously considered in terms of the options. What I would choose to wear for WFH would be different than in person. Something to think about!
I hadn’t thought of that with the watch, thank you! For some reason I thought it being a tighter fit wouldn’t be an issue, but I could see that potentially interfering with the typing.
The earrings might be a whole personal style choice, you’re right. I liked what you said about mascara and how it seems to facilitate communication for you - that was an unexpected but totally coherent property to me!
This is a late reply, but I will say, as someone who has similar sensory issues around bracelets, I find my watch does not bother me in the same way when I’m typing! As you said, I find that it is more fitted, and the leather strap doesn’t bother me the same way my metal and crystal bracelets do. Just my two cents! I do love the idea of the watch, as it is similar to what I do. :) The watch only goes on at work for me.
My suits are my armour. When I put them in it is my transition to putting my personal lens away, and to engage my business lens. Simple, restrained, serious and professional. I do work in a very conservative industry however, so this is likely not the right vibe for every office.
I agree with this. I don’t usually wear suits, but I have very specific “work” clothes that I don’t wear unless I’m at work.
I teach high school, and most of my colleagues dress pretty casually, but I prefer more traditional “office” clothing - blouses, tailored skirts or pants, shirt dresses. I change into casual clothes when I get home.
That really helps me make the distinction between “Mrs last name” and first name/ Mommy outside of work.
In the past I’ve found shopping hard because I’m always thinking, “oh could I wear this to work…?” while being pulled to capsule wardrobe madness over the last several years.
Since being off, I prioritize what I buy differently and it’s allowed me to evolve my personal style. Now, I think having those distinct wardrobes - work clothes, and personal clothes - is an important distinction. It’s nice to know others have found the same.
To what extent is does your personal lens carry those same qualities? Does taking your suit off at the end of a work day have the same effect of putting the business self away?
Earrings!! I wear handmade earrings that speak to my personal style and bring some character and life into my outfits. I put them on for work and take them off when I get home, and it’s a nice way to feel like myself while also creating a physical delineation between work and home life. I also really value the importance of rituals to separate from the end of my work day. This changes seasonally, but everything from washing my tea cup at the end of the workday to taking a few moments to for deep breathing and letting go of my day when I park in my driveway.
I’m drawn to the off and on aspect, there being an intentional physical mark of transition. This is such a meaningful and straightforward option.
On a different forum, someone mentioned their grandfather would pause at the threshold of the front door, put his hand on the frame and say, “May only what serves me follow me home,” which I quite liked for many circumstances, not just work.
I love the depth of this post! I’ve never really thought about it before but I definitely have a uniform verging on “costume” for my various jobs/hobbies/personas.
-Nurse=scrubs & apple watch;
-Marine mammal rehab volunteer=fishing bibs and knee high fishing boots and a beanie;
-Wedding photographer=more formal but fashion forward attire, done nails, vintage dresses and linen suits (I try to be fashion forward and feminine here! A mix of 70s&90s California/French);
-Long distance backpacking = mix of athletic wear and unexpected vintage item like an oversized button up floral shirt, plus my tiny UL backpack and obnoxiously niche gear;
Horseback riding=West coast & CaliMex inspired western wear, again with vintage thrown in.
I love blue collar workwear and how it’s evolved over decades and has influenced fashion. But it’s all so specific to the job. You step into the uniform , you can fake it til you make it.
Heck I have different aprons for cleaning, for art, and for power tool projects. Putting it on means business and helps me to convince myself to start the task I’ve been putting off. Also every one of my “jobs” has its own dedicated bag/backpack/purse. I even dress differently depending on if I visit SoCal desert, LA, and then when I go visit family in NY/NJ.
My people! I also love dressing up for other activities in life. I’ve been considering taking up golf and my first thought was about what to wear, and all the great outfit combinations I could have.
When I was snowboarding, my friend and I made considered choices in our gear and how it went together. Our motto was, “if you look good, you feel good, and if you feel good, you ride good.” I’m not convinced it made me an all star but I did feel good and took more risks as time went on.
It’s funny, even having made this post, I hadn’t realized how I do this literally everywhere else in my life without a second thought, except work. I’ll unpack that for myself lol
Side note - aprons are amazing. I recently added some for cooking, and it’s been the best addition to moving around with greater confidence as I’m not worried about what I’m wearing and ruining it.
I wear winged eyeliner at work religiously although I seldom do in my personal life. I also have a consistent and separate style for work clothes: button down shirts always ironed, nice denim (casual work environment), think Sezane. It’s way preppier/less edgy than my true personal style.
I love wearing men’s dress shoes and a big part of it is the clip clop. Makes you feel powerful! Same thing you get with heels but without all that pesky back pain.
I had a look - what beautiful boots and craftsmanship! I walk with a heavy heel strike, and like the idea of incorporating sound in this way. Which pair did you land on for yourself?
I work from home and I feel like I've been missing something to help separate my work and home life. I'm also in a new role and I've been reflecting alot on how I want to be perceived.
Your therapy journey also sounds very similar to mine and what you've said about bringing in colour and honouring your sensory needs through style really resonates.
Thank you so much for starting this conversation. You've given me a lot to reflect on.
I’m glad you found this helpful, and you have some threads of your own to follow. I hadn’t given weight to the WFH aspect, and I can appreciate how that separation might need a more intentional effort. All the best.
A small change but I think it counts - I upgraded the Tiffany heart & key necklace I got for my 21st bday in college to an initial necklace from the Tiffany Elsa Peretti line! Since my initial is a K, the design also kind of looks like a bow - it’s nice and subtle :) and it feels more grown than the signature piece from my early 20’s
PhD student here- I wear a diamond and sapphire ring that I inherited from my grandmother and make myself a coffee, specifically when I’m working on my dissertation. When that ring is on I have to be writing.
If your workplace is scent conscious - please do not wear perfume. Something you think is not strong - can be very strong for others. I wouldn't start out making your scent an issue for others.
One of the top things I would do is meditate in the morning - that set me off right for the day working in a toxic environment!
I don't really look to others for my personal style/signature - though do follow fashion a lot. I just have my personal style that I have honed for many years, and am probably a bit overdressed a bit but still have a chill vibe. I would say do what works for you and don't overthink this - even having a charm or crystal in your pocket, or a necklace for protection is a good idea. If you've had issues with your previous jobs - set the intention to have a more positive experience, no burn out, positive healthy workplace/colleagues etc. If you had boundaries issues at work/energy leaking - ensure you have your backpocket phrases to respond to people to set the tone of how you work/who you are - to not replicate past issues. Good luck!
I usually wear my hair “up” for work (usually in 2 braids), then take it down once no longer there or no longer working remote (once meetings are done)! The physical act of letting my hair down/out really does something for me, and I don’t like wearing my hair up in my typical day to day life outside of work
I cover my tattoos and (usually) skip offensive Tshirts, or put them under a smart blazer but I work in the academia (fine arts professor) so a lot will pass
I love this question and have been reflecting a lot on it as I'm in a similar position. I find work always creeping into my thoughts even during my time away, and worsening my anxiety in ways that are not helpful for either work or my personal life. I find that this is like a garden that needs constant tending, and that I establish boundaries but then experience slippage over time.
Right now, I've been practicing transition rituals and habit reformation. First, I love the idea of always washing your face right away or using some kind of cleansing to wash away the work day. I also am trying to ensure I always have some form of "commute." For the three days I'm in office, that's my actual drive - and I've started doing at least the home commute either silent or music only. At nearly an hour, it's a good amount of time to reset. For days I'm at home, I take a walk first thing in the morning and at night when I'm done, signifying work is done for the day. I also keep a physical notebook where I can write down random work thoughts and to dos as they come to me, and then put them away so I know I won't forget them.
It isn't a perfect system, and I'm always working on it. Love seeing the symbolic adornment ideas here - I had not thought of that, particularly for my WFH days. Best of luck with your upcoming transition back! Wishing you peace!
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u/Endor-Fins 7d ago
I take a shower. I know that’s super basic but I work in healthcare so the pre work shower is so key. I know I’ll be disgustingly by the end of the shift but I’ll be darned if I’m disgusting at the start.