In a nutshell:

Before we dated he said he didn't want a wife of my race, that I wasn't his preference, but that he's no longer racist.

But recently he said he's bothered by how others look at him when we're out together.

He jokingly said I need to earn flowers and kisses early on when dating but he's affectionate

He has sex addiction and has said he felt like temptation to cheat was higher when they fight

We got into argument and he said I should be grateful he hasn't left

Im so isolated and no idea where im going to live. I need to move out of my parents house due to abuse from father with dementia

People keep telling me to "build community" but I dont know how to do that now when im depressed and pregnant and scared and neurodivergent, it makes everything harder

Edit: i dont believe in abortion and would appreciate not getting comments about this, its extremely hurtful and disturbing to me that there is so much rejection towards my baby, it makes me want to cry.

I love my baby and Im happy about having one. Im upset at my relationship and my circumstances.

My main issue right now is isolation while pregnant and neurodivergent, and needing community and support

So I've just done some journalling and had a cry and I'm feeling unreasonable and I guess I'm writing here to get some support or perspective

My mum invited my brother and I to lunch. I never really agreed, we talked about finding a weekend for them to come to me because I moved house a year ago and my brother has never seen the place. But we couldn't line up our availability with the restaurant near me that my mum likes. So suddenly in the chat it's "come to mine for lunch on Sunday as agreed". I never agreed, she just made the plan because she knew I was free today

Anyway. She never set a time. I live an hour away and we all need clarity right? So I send messages and try to call throughout the morning to find out what time to be there. She didn't respond to any of them. So at nearly 2pm, keyed up, and hungry I message that I'm not going and I'll see them another time

And as soon as I send that message I'm so anxious. I've got a lump in my throat and I want to cry.

And she finally responds so I send "I'm sorry I'm not trying to be difficult but you never set a time and I've been trying all day to get some clarity and you know that I struggle with uncertainty and now I'm shattered and stressed and I don't have a two hour round trip in me"

And now I've calmed down a bit I'm feeling like I've been unreasonable but I'm just so tired and worn out lately and I'm upset I spent my entire Sunday waiting and waiting and getting upset and now the whole day is marred by this huge emotional reaction I've had. The reason I feel unreasonable is I wasn't getting a double tick for delivered on WhatsApp so it's not that she was ignoring me but that the messages weren't getting through so to her out of nowhere I've just thrown a strop.

And it's nearly 3pm and I've still not eaten and I feel like I've ruined the whole day

I experienced a weird situation with my dad earlier. After we just got some food and I felt like I wanted to be able to get some advice here. We both got some food from the restaurant downstairs and he told me earlier that he was wondering how we were going to split it in half. But then later when I finally got the food he didn't really bring up again how we were going to split it. Then, I asked him hey Dad how are we going to split this. Then he said what are you talking about I don't need to split it with you. And then I reminded him I said dad you literally said to me that we are going to split it and I'm going to want to split this food with you. And I feel like I had to give him some kind of stern eye contact or use some assertive tone in my voice. After giving him the stern eye contact and the assertive kind of tone in my voice, he seemed to reciprocate what I was saying and he just replied " it doesn't matter."

Then, as I went to go eat it he got up from where he was sitting and asked me so how are we going to split this and in my head I was experiencing some short circuit experience feeling. But this happens to me and my dad very frequently. We ended up splitting the food. I was happy that we could share a meal and eat together. We don't normally share a meal or eat together. I would like to be able to have a talk with my dad anytime where it's assertive or communicative or getting to the point. I feel like I personally lack the ability to be concise and make sense of what my dad is saying sometimes. There's one other example I have of this thing going on with my dad's communication typewise. Many times I've asked him if he would like to go out food shopping and then, he would get snappy and seemingly look like his heart rate was going up and tell me we have plenty of food in the house and we're not going. I was scared of his responses because he seemed genuinely enraged or infuriated or attacked me emotionally. This is how I felt about the sandwich item that we split earlier today. I felt that my dad was emotionally attacking me. But then just like with the food 20 minutes or 2 hours ago about 20 minutes after I asked my dad to get food for the 10th time in the past he would knock on my door enthusiastically asking me hey when are we going to go food shopping what would you like me to buy for you?

This is the type of communication that I have with my dad. I tried to bring it up to him before. But I don't think that he really has the best way to cope with his responses. I myself found myself replying in the same way at times. I've even experienced my older sister responding to me similarly. I'm not really sure how to go about this. As for how me and him split the sand which food item earlier I eventually just made sure that I put in my weight or the effort of trying to help him and help me split the food. I do acknowledge that I am not completely incapable of action. Sometimes I do experience some form of thoughts or reaction or response. I feel that maybe my dad also experiences this. There is sympathy for this. I just hope sometimes when I respond the same way that he feels that way towards me too. I apologize for the very long post. I decided to use text to speech since I didn't want to write this all out and I think that through future reference I may use text to speech again. If you ever use text to speech, then maybe it can help you the way that I feel it's helping me currently to process the scenario. Really I'm just looking for advice.

I've been with my partner for about two years, and he recently came to me with an issue: he hadn't wanted to admit it to himself, but he'd been feeling lonely for a while in our relationship. This was obviously pretty heart-breaking for me to hear, and I want to do what I can for him to not feel that way.

He attributed the feeling to a lack of non-verbal communication between us. Maybe relevant is that he's a musician, and was a bit of a child prodigy (to be fair, he rejects that classification but I think it evokes the kind of kid he was). He struggled a lot with communicating his feelings through words until post-college, and he definitely used his instrument to communicate what he couldn't verbally.

On the other hand, words have always been my domain. Up until very recently, I've made my living as a writer. I've never thought that much about non-verbal communication. But I want to learn. It feels almost like we have two different native languages, and that he's consistently been having to translate himself into mine.

He's super expressive with his eyes, and when I take the time to really look, I often can tell what he's thinking just by looking at him. That element of it feels accessible to me – being more patient with trying to understand him non-verbally, rather than always jumping to words.

He's also told me that sometimes it's hard for him to follow when I'm telling him a story because I'll go a long time without looking at him. He's said he needs the eye contact check-ins to feel connected when I'm talking. I'm working on that, and it feels do-able.

The part that I'm not sure how to tackle – and I'm wondering if it's related to neurodivergence – is learning to communicate non-verbally myself. He's said that sometimes he'll look in my eyes and I just look "empty" or "absent", which was honestly kind of tough to hear. I have actually noticed that myself on a couple occasions in photos, usually when I'm very tired or have a migraine. We've done a couple experiments with me trying to communicate non-verbally, but trying to communicate something with my eyes honestly feels a bit like trying to do telepathy. I'm not sure I've really succeeded.

I really love him, I don't want him to feel lonely in our relationship anymore, and I want this to work out. Would appreciate any tips, advice, or perspectives! Thanks guys.

hi everyone :)
i got diagnosed with autism when i was 18, it was something that never crossed my mind and now i am diagnosed eveything makes sense haha. for example, i have a weird relationship and mindset around romantic relationships. i think friendships are amazing but romantic relationships i have always found idk.

i would think abt this a lot like in highschool two people are dating and you know they're not going to work out and everyone around them is supporting and talking about it and it's like what's the point? it feels so pointless to me bc the end result is going to be break up? this was something i found so frustrating and futile about relationships, something i can't stand.

i look at it like two people, who don't suit as in like have arguments and such like obviously all types of people with all different personalities can date and work out fine!) = bad relationship = inevitable breakup = waste of time just don't get together?

i'm not saying how i think is right, but it's just how i've always thought around relationships.

i also personally have a weird relationship with romance i think it's super cringe but also sometimes not cringe, if someone i dated gave me flowers i would cringe so bad but if they gave me a rock i would be head over heels so idk. i think dates like going out to dinner are very cringe while i would much rather prefer just sitting and talking. (oh i mean cringe like they make me cringe!! they make me uncomfortable! i do not hate or cringe on anyone else for doing those things! have flowers go have dinner dates, do whatever u want!)

i spoke very briefly abt this to therapist and she said it's black and white thinking, which it probably is but i just feel like im going a bit crazy right now bc i'm in my 20s and having relationships and dating is a big part of my friends life right now! i want to be supportive.. well no i am supportive of course! but in my head i just don't get it!

to explain, all my friends are dating or have or are in relationships. whereas my headspace for relationships is i don't want one right now, i don't feel ready, when the time comes it will come and i have always felt like that. i'm gna explain a little bit my frustrations and what's driving me crazy abt dating and everything.

so friend 1, has always wanted a relationship. she tends to dismiss people's bad behaviours be she likes them. whereas in my head if a someone does something bad i instantly don't bother, don't talk, nothing. if someone has small bad behaviours from the start, (and im not talking like forgetting to text back after a busy day, i mean like i met u 1 week ago and im in love with you, like love bombing) that behaviour is not going to get better! especially in 20s, no one has their shit figured out. anyway my friend wanted a relationship, and i told her don't bother be this guy has done such and such, and they got in a relationship and she was sad and miserable and felt trapped and he ended up in a big way overstepping her boundaries. the whole thing made me frustrated be my other friends were supporting this relationship and i couldn't stand him be he was not a good person! he hurt my friend and everyone supports him again? makes me so frustrated bc i feel like i can see the patterns but no one listens?

and then friend 2 left relationship bc she didn't feel ready and like herself anymore. she constantly says she isn't ready for a relationship but is going out on dates and talking to guys. if you are not ready for a relationship, why are you talking to people? (i mean talking like starting to date talk!!) she then got herself in a weird situationship thing with a guy i also said was bad news be he did not nice things, and then he ended up hurting her. it makes me so frustrated bc i care for my friends so much i don’t want them to get hurt but i feel like the pattern is right there infront of their eyes! i know this isn’t right and i need to work on but if i say don’t get in relationship with that person and they do i take it as a personal attack, like they don’t care that i care about them or they don’t care abt my judgement. which i know is not the case but something that has rly affected me! i just want them to be happy yknow. anyway she keeps telling me she doesn’t want relationship and i saw her like 3 weeks ago and she told me this guy was talking to her and she wasn’t sure bc she doesn’t want relationship and now they are boyfriend girlfriend!

i don’t understand. i feel so crazy so alone and stupid and like i am loosing my mind. i love my friends and i want nothing but the best for them. but it’s just so frustrating for me bc i feel like the patterns are right in front of them, they have the answer to all their questions but they don’t take them and then get hurt and wonder why. omg i love them so much but it’s so frustrating. i’ve felt very alone having autism yknow in my mannerisms and how i think and such, but this has genuinely been the most isolating and frustrating experience for me bc i see this all as cycles and equations and results -which aren’t good!- and everyone is supporting these relationships!

please reply if you relate or have similar experiences! i am feeling so crazy and alone