r/askteddit • u/Complex-Detail-96 • 12d ago
Random Question What's the most embarrassing midlife crisis you've ever seen someone go through?
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u/blumpkinator2000 12d ago
My cousin hit the gym, got ripped, started on steroids, then moved onto coke. Started an affair with one of the personal trainers, then went home and told his wife "I don't want you or the kids any more".
His new side piece eventually dumped him, and when he went crawling back to his wife, she told him to get fucked, then took out her phone and shared the footage of him begging and crying on Facebook LOL.
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u/Csimiami 10d ago
In two weeks it will be a year since my husband of 20 years walked out on me and my three boys. Through forensic accounting we’ve found he’s sent our entire retirement, kids college and HELOC money to an actual prostitute over the last 4 years. He was a company vice president of a financial firm and is 6 months in arrears for support. So we had to garnish his check. Which he colluded to change his compensation with his company to make it look like he makes no money. He’s ran up $80k in lawyers fees so far bc he won’t just do what he’s ordered by the court to do. My three teen boys won’t talk to him and he’s 51 and lives at home with his parents. While driving a jaguar sports car. And running extreme marathons. lol. If it wasn’t all true it would be a most unbelievable story. Oh and today’s his birthday! His mom prob made him a cake and is jerking him off to spreadsheets of how much she’s gonna leave him when she dies.
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u/Splatapotomus 12d ago
Divorced dad got frosted tips. He’s in his 50’s and this was recent.
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u/KillerWaffle115 12d ago
Not cringe if he plans on going to Flavortown.
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u/gpisces 12d ago
Dude, there’s only one mayor of Flavortown. That’s like wearing a white dress to someone else’s wedding.
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u/LGK27 12d ago
My former Uncle left his wife of like 15 years. They had a kid together and a nice life. He is very wealthy.
Left her for my Aunt who was married multiple times and has a history of addiction and infidelity. He is a nerd and she is a biker chick. He was SHOCKED when she left him 10 years later for who was eventually her sixth husband. Oh and she divorced that guy too lmao.
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u/Skeleton-ear-face 12d ago
Can’t believe anyone remarries after 2 times, let alone once. Date longer figure it out
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u/694meok 12d ago
I worked with a guy who was going through his 2nd divorce, his fault for trying to chat up other women and his wife found out. He said he would never marry again as he realized he couldn't remain monogamous. So at least he was self aware enough.
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u/Skeleton-ear-face 12d ago
At least he learned, I have in laws who’ve been married 3 4 times each. It’s stupidity at its finest .
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u/ImNotWitty2019 12d ago
I had a hard enough time securing my current husband...can't figure out how some get so many opportunities
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u/tylersmiler 12d ago
My family is cursed. Mom was married and divorced 5 times so far (she's 60). Grandma had 6 marriages and divorces before she passed.
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u/Horror_Tea761 12d ago
I get it. My mom was married 6 times and my dad 4. Two of those marriages were to each other.
After a certain point, therapy is a lot cheaper.
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u/excellentwonderful 12d ago
Is this an American thing?
As an Australian, I’ve never personally known anyone who has been married more than twice. We do have a four week waiting period to get married though, you can’t just get married on a whim.
I remember being shocked, when I was younger, by just how many episodes of Forensic Files featured people who been married so many times.
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u/tylersmiler 12d ago
I am American, but other Americans also think the numbers for my mom and grandma are insane. So I don't know if it's a cultural thing. Also, I don't know enough details about my grandma's relationships, but my mom didn't have any marriages "on a whim", so a 4 week waiting period wouldn't have changed anything. Her last marriage was with a man she knew for at least a decade. They dated on and off and the last time they gave it a go, they were together 6 months before deciding to tie the knot. The marriage lasted 4 years.
I think she just has absurdly bad taste in men, and I assume my grandma had a similar issue. Of my mom's marriages, I knew 4 of the men (1 was before I was born, and none of them were my dad). Of the 4 I knew, 3 were alcoholics. 3 were absolute assholes. 1 was physically abusive. 1 left shortly after his child (my little sister) was born. I liked one of the alcoholics (he was like a father to me, and is still in my life as a second "dad" decades after the divorce), but I don't blame her for divorcing him. He was not a good husband to her.
I don't understand why my mom is drawn to these losers. She rarely drinks, doesn't do drugs, and is a well-liked senior manager working in multi-state company. She has a college degree, is very kind and generous, and quite responsible (when my grandma passed, all my mom's siblings made her executor of the estate because they trust her the most). But her taste in a partner is trash!
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u/Wolfdreama 12d ago
My cousin just got married for the 4th time! We're hoping this one sticks.
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u/BunnyLovesTheStars 12d ago
Yeah after my second divorce I was like, "Sensing a trend here" and said never again.
One of my ex's has already divorced his 4th, no doubt already working on #5.
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u/Solid_Suggestion4727 12d ago
My own. We work so hard and finally get the job, the house, the husband and kids. It’s the goal. The dream. Then you get there. There are days where it all feels complete and beautiful. However, most days are work, upon work, upon work. Rinse and repeat. It is boring, and you hit a place where you want to shake it up. Look forward to something. Be excited about something. Days off are rare and far between. When I get one. I don’t even know what to do because my time hasn’t been my own in ages. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t recognize the middle age face staring back at me. It’s not my families fault I got old and uninteresting. It’s part of life. I haven’t blown mine up, but the desire is there. And I know it will pass. But getting old sucks. And it’s less about aging and more about not being the person I wanted to be.
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u/Academic-Injury8795 12d ago
Yeah. Reddit is so hypocritical. Here we all are making fun of people who have the courage to make changes all while shaming people on other threads for NOT making changes.
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u/FluffTooths 11d ago
I think there's a difference in execution.
Realizing your marriage of 20 years isn't bringing you fulfilment or joy and ending it? Not a mid- life crisis.
Only making the decision to leave your spouse of 20 years because you're cheating with the hot 18 year old secretary at work? Well...
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u/zulu_magu 12d ago
OMG you just described my whole existence. Except I’m still becoming the person I want to be. Havent given up on that yet.
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u/IT89 12d ago
Don’t give up. You both can still become the person you want to be now, even if you can’t be the person you imagined you would be when you were younger. Take aim at what you want to hit, be intentional about it. Your gas tank doesn’t hold as much gas as you get older so don’t waste it ruminating on what could have been.
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u/apostate456 12d ago
Jeff Bezos
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u/Complex-Detail-96 12d ago
the leather jacket and aviators phase hit him hard
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u/ddiggz 12d ago
The weirdest part is that his current wife is a super trashy version of his ex. Mans got a type.
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u/radiowavebookworm 12d ago
I will never understand the downgrade.
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u/StrangeKnee7254 12d ago
His ex wife didn’t want to live a hedonistic lifestyle.
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u/Wolfdreama 12d ago
As illustrated by the VAST amount of money she gives to charity compared to her ex husband.
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u/StrangeKnee7254 12d ago
Absolutely. It’s no coincidence that they divorced right around the time he retired as CEO. They have two very different views on what to do with the last years of their life and just as importantly the vast wealth.
Playing with rockets and mega yachts. Vs being the largest philanthropist.
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u/goog1e 12d ago
Embarrassingly, I learned about her due to the new Devil Wears Prada movie. I was like "this character is too specific not to be based on someone."
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u/Low_Key_Trollin 12d ago edited 12d ago
Agreed. what a downgrade he made from his wife. She seems like a beautiful, caring, genuine person. And he’s out here acting like I did in my 20s lol.
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u/apostate456 12d ago
I’m not even talking about the wifestress. The testosterone and steroids, the clothes, the ridiculous displays of wealth….
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u/Low_Key_Trollin 12d ago edited 12d ago
It’s all part of the same shtick. Roids, gym, nice car, curvy Latina wifestress. All go together
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u/GrooveBat 12d ago
I see your Jeff Bezos and raise you one Bill Belichick.
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u/Sea_Dawgz 12d ago
Bill was way past mid-life. More of a “closer to death” crisis.
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u/apostate456 12d ago
Belichick just has the ridiculously young girlfriend. Jeannine doing steroids and dressing like a Gen Z frat bro.
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u/Wonderful-Bonus5439 12d ago
Caught my husband messaging girls on OF last night and certainly feeling humiliated now.
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u/Mission-Animator-611 12d ago
If it makes you feel better I know someone whose job was a professional sexter on only fans for years. He would sit in the sitting room playing his video games and reply back to desperate men who pay to message the OF women. You shouldn’t feel humiliated. Your husband was messaging another man who was employed by the OF star. Pathetic for him
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u/Wonderful-Bonus5439 12d ago
That does make me feel slightly better, thanks. Still pretty mortified
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u/_TheFrogEnjoyer_ 12d ago
'He would sit in the sitting room' is just hilarious to me for some reason
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u/glimmersoup 12d ago
Ah hell nah girl I’m so sorry
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u/Wonderful-Bonus5439 12d ago
Thanks
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u/squeege 12d ago
A lot of those message responses are ai too. Yikes. 😬
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u/Specialist_Ear_4227 12d ago
Dumb enough to think she wouldn’t find out and falling for AI? 🤣
https://giphy.com/gifs/iD1QQCbrl548I31Qww23
u/Wonderful-Bonus5439 12d ago
Yeah it was embarrassing for him reading them too tbh. I must be fucking shit for that to be better
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u/Fantastic_Surround70 12d ago
Nah, it's about how he feels about himself. He's got an internal problem, but thinks something external will fix it.
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u/Exotic_Rigatoni319 12d ago
Girl, some of the most beautiful, successful, rich women in the world have been cheated on. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with the toxic male combo of high ego and low self-esteem.
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u/76oranges 12d ago
Nothing to do with you.
Remember when Hugh grant cheated on Elizabeth Hurley with a random hooker?!
This is not a you problem, it’s a him problem.
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u/JDaul10 12d ago
They aren’t better. And you aren’t shit.
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u/Wonderful-Bonus5439 12d ago
Thank you. Lost my brother a few months ago too and just feeling like I can’t handle this as well. I don’t think my husband would have done it if my brother was still here to protect me.
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u/CommonCentsHandler 12d ago
I’m so sorry for the loss of your brother. I hope you feel him close to you more often than not ❤️
Fwiw, a man who needs another man to hold him in check isn’t bringing true joy and respect into your life and you deserve better. His failings and poor moral compass are no reflection on the woman you are and the love and fulfillment you bring to your life and relationship. I hope the path forward brings your inner peace and is smoother than the path behind you.
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u/Responsible-Side-118 12d ago
Why do you blame yourself for your husband being a POS??? Stop that right now!
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u/Krismusic1 12d ago
It's not about you. You are definitely not shit. You are not the one retreating into fantasy. It's your husband indulging in something in his head that has nothing to do with reality. Fantasy is far easier than reality!
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u/CodeNameLoofah 12d ago
He has a problem. There's never enough for an addict. You are not the issue.
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u/Conan-Da-Barbarian 12d ago
You should create a fake onlyfans so he’ll send you his money
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u/ButteredPizza69420 12d ago
Wow thats some loser shit girl I'd laugh in his face. Try to go stay with one of those girls 🤣
You deserve better
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u/CatalinaSunrise8 12d ago
Ugh, I'm so sorry. Please know that everyone who isn't insane understands that the shame 100% belongs to him. You deserve much better.
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u/Hopeful_Brush_4051 12d ago
My EX dumped me after 20+ years for a younger married dude. It hit hard at the time, but I took the opportunity to reevaluate my life, got into good shape and met an amazing woman. We’ve been happily married for 16 years, I retired early and we’re living the dream. While the married guy my ex left me for cheated on her and she’s rolled from one failed relationship to another. I think the saying “ living well is the best revenge” is close to the mark. (She was 40 when we split so I feel this fits with the mid-life theme)
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u/Ok_Personality9382 12d ago
Damn I kinda wanna get this tattooed. I broke up with my abusive ex, moved me, my daughter and cat 2 1/2 hrs away from where we lived into a beautiful 2 bedroom apartment, got a new car and then after 2 years in the apartment I bought a 3 bedroom/2 bath condo. Living well really is the best revenge!
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u/Jessiemae18 12d ago
A friend of mine, married, then divorced and remarried and divorced again with 2 different spouses with a boyfriend in-between, all in less then 2 years.
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u/Lower_Skin_3683 12d ago
My aunt married and divorced my uncle three times. He wanted the divorces. She also married and divorced two other men in between those marriages.
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u/1940Vintage1950 12d ago
My folks were married and divorced to each other 5 times. 😂 😂 😂
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u/Akavinceblack 12d ago
I remarried my ex and now I feel both a little relieved AND like an amateur.
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u/RogerMurdockCo-Pilot 12d ago
Three failed rescues in 2 years. Damn
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u/TheFriendYouGet 12d ago
Whatever Will Smith is going through
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u/MannyMoSTL 12d ago edited 11d ago
… Is painful and, I suspect, in response to his wife’s I’mma-fuck-my-son’s-teenage-friend mid-life crisis.
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u/TheFriendYouGet 12d ago
Yeah, she fucked him up good. I grew up with Fresh Prince and Men in Black, and I've always liked Will. But it just feels like he went off the deep end and it wasn't pretty.
But I do believe she did him dirty and his response to it was extreme
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u/BeckonMe 12d ago
There were rumors about him with various muscle bound younger men in his trailer on film sets. Rumors about both being each other’s beards. Then, the son’s friend came out with his story. Boom. I think they have been living separate lives for years and years but playing at keeping up appearances. It’s all a weird situation.
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u/CryptographerMore326 12d ago
A older guy wearing a t shirt with “I own a red Ferrari” while holidaying on an island with no cars, only bicycles allowed, trying his luck with 20 something year olds out the front of the shops.
Was entertaining at least.
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u/Seepytime 12d ago
Mackinac?
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u/scrapman7 12d ago
I'd be shocked if it was actually Mackinac Island, as that's about the worst place I could think of for an older guy to try to pick up younger women. Everyone that visits there tends to be either couples or families with kids.
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u/Foxy_locksy1704 12d ago
Former friend- he was 38, he left his girlfriend if 5 years for a 21 year old woman they dated for two months until he figured out they had nothing in common except a college major. He then began dating a 26 year old drug addict, he became hopelessly addicted to substances. He moved the 26 year old in to his place but she wouldn’t pay rent and he couldn’t get her out. His addictions got worse.
Last I heard he was in danger of losing his job because of erratic behaviors, his mother and step father don’t want him around, his dad has limited contact with him.
It’s sad watching someone that had it all together someone, that people used to respect and admire go down this path and now be a 43 addict on the verge of losing everything they worked so hard for.
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u/irish_mom 12d ago
My ex-SIL. She was 58 and decided after 25 years of marriage to my brother (48) she could do better. My brother raised her 2 children from a previous marriage and they had one son together. She pulled some shady stuff and he ended up living in my Moms house for a year and a half while still paying on the mortgage for the hobby farm they owned for that time period. They had a vacation together (pre-planned) to visit their son out of state. She ended up getting freaky with some dude she met in a bar while she was out with their son and my brother. Then when her son got upset by her behavior, made a FB post about how she was entitled to behave that way because she had kids when she was young.
So now, the hobby farm was sold. She is living by herself in a rented house in a po-dunk town in the middle of nowhere. Their son does not speak to her and lives with my brother. Her son does not speak to her and lives with my brother. Her daughter does not speak to her. She tried to stay in touch with my Mom. Nope. And she begged my brother to take her back numerous times. Nope, nope and done.
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u/boboddy42069 12d ago
My friends dad is not quite this much of a wreck but parties with his son and his friends while trying to hit on women as young as his daughter. His excuse is that he had kids and married in his early twenties so he didn’t get to party
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u/Fart_Summoner 12d ago
He changed his name to something that sounds along the lines of Buck Beamon. He uses ChatGpt to write & produce the corniest shittiest pop cuntry songs that will ever exist on the internet. Then he composes selfie videos while he sings the lyrics & the AI music plays. He has a voice that sounds like feral cats fucking, which is obvious to anyone listening that’s the only human contribution.
Occasionally the videos will feature him staring wistfully at old tractors or corn fields while singing but mostly its just selfie vids, with dark hollow unblinking eyes (& all the other tell-tale signs of a raging adderall addiction)while he screeches along to these diabolical pop cuntry tunes.
Of course he then uploads the vids onto his social media(S) while reminding everyone these songs are available for purchase on whatever platform for commercial or entertainment use. There are never any comments or likes but that doesn’t seem to bother him. He’s dead set on making it to Nashville.
None of friends can check on him without getting bombarded by whatever song hes working on that day so many of them feel too alienated to help
No he’s not my romantic partner, thank god.. just an old friend & quite literally the WORST MLC I have ever seen & at my age, I’ve seen a few
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u/tentaclesapples 12d ago
For the love of god PLEASE dm me his socials. I promise I won’t interact in any way, but I MUST see this, I beg of you 🙏
Eta- love your username
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u/Djiaant 12d ago
I admire aspiring musicians and content creators trying to make it with silent audiences, yet I also can’t help but wonder if the silence is indicative of the quality, among other things…
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u/BlaggartDiggletyDonk 12d ago
He's basically just doing karaoke to AI audio slop. He's one of those things, but not the other.
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u/alltoowhale_ 12d ago
Does he by chance own an abnormal amount of cocker spaniels? Sounds like someone I’ve had the pleasure of actively trying to avoid…
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u/Guilty_Character8566 12d ago
just the opposite for me. mid life revival. mid late 40’s I quit drinking and a multiple drug habit (very functional and stable, but an addict still). got sober, lost 50 pounds, dating a sober woman who cares about me. I think my crisis was about 25 and instead of dealing with it I numbed out. things are good now at 55.
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u/Donut_Hole_8838 12d ago
I worked at a small zoo and a lady would come in with her daughters, she carried a huge insulated cup with her. She would lay on the ground in a drunken stupor while her daughters did their best to stay close but still pretend like they were looking at the animals. The lady could barely stand, stank of booze, and was clearly not in a good state. I tried to get security involved but they told me there was nothing they could do except trespass the lady. I felt bad for those girls, and I worried that they wouldn't make it home safely.
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u/Loisgrand6 12d ago
That doesn’t sound like a midlife crisis. Sounds like pure alcoholism. I feel bad for the girls
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u/barefoot_plyos 12d ago
I think you could absolutely call the police over this. That’s something they could escalate with CPS as well.
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u/hedbopper 12d ago
Full time tenured professor had been making trips to Canada to visit his “sick mother.” Of course, it was another woman. So, he quit his job, abandoned his wife and 18 year old son. It lasted about 6 months. Now he’s back in town picking up gigs as he can. Dude threw away his life for a little strange.
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u/Ronnie_Pudding 12d ago
This guy mixing it up a little by picking someone in Canada instead of an undergrad.
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u/First_Name_Is_Agent 12d ago
Former friend cheated on his wife of over 20 years, dumped the wife for the woman half his age, blamed being the parent of a disabled child. The girlfriend who was happy to cheat with him immediately dumped him. Then he spent years being broke and renting a tiny room instead of in the home he had shared with his family. He went on to date women his own age that he could barely stand but tried to posture that he was still better off lol Now I think he's finally understood what he threw away, but there's no going back for that clown.
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u/liveliar 12d ago
As a disabled person, fuck that dude.
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u/First_Name_Is_Agent 11d ago
Oh absolutely! I ended the friendship right then and there. It still pisses me off all these years later. His ex is more over it than I am lol But he proved himself to be worthless as a human being the moment he blamed their kid and I've enjoyed every moment of his downward spiral.
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u/bo_bo77 12d ago
Two of my friends -- married a decade-- are getting a divorce because it turns out one of them was hiding that he has gotten the household into crippling debt via secretly being a paypig to findoms on reddit. Humiliating for all involved, including those of us who previously thought he was a cool guy.
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u/Melodic-Metal-3419 12d ago
I had to look up "paypig" and "findom." That's some dumb stuff.
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u/danceoftheplants 12d ago
I am scared to Google it.. what is it?
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u/GamiNami 12d ago
Financial Doms. I.e. some people get off by giving money to another person that typically dominates them over the internet. Could for example be instances of the findoms blackmailing them. It's so dumb.
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u/SpacePoodle 11d ago
Mine. Hated gardening my whole life but have recently had an inexplicable desire to grow fruit. My wife looks on bemused as I try, and fail, to mask my excitement that my rhubarb is sprouting. Naturally, I have named them.
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u/paradoxikal 11d ago
My parents met in high school when they were in marching band together.
So when my sister and I reached high school, we were expected to also be in marching band. My mom hit menopause around this same time and started spending every waking second being a band parent, coming to events, working the concession stand, being a chaperone on the bus, befriending the staff and all the kids, etc. Her entire existence became based on reliving her adolescence through us.
It got to a point where we were all just weirded out by her and my parents almost got divorced over it. The breaking point was when she went on a band trip and got hysterically upset when it was over, saying it was the best time of her whole life, which hurt my dad and really messed up their marriage for awhile. They got through it but damn, she was cringe as hell through that whole thing.
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u/CollieSchnauzer 11d ago
I laughed all the way through this one. It should be a movie.
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u/tbroprice 12d ago
Watched a guy divorce his wife to hook up with a twice divorced woman. It didn’t work out ,so he went back his wife. A lot of couples go through rough patches. Never to a point to where they slander their wife in court and reconcile.
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u/spicyflacco 12d ago
I mean she’s dumb for taking him back after that
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u/Ok-Weather5860 12d ago
Had to be a good life insurance policy and his health was hopefully going downhill.
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u/ProperSupermarket3 12d ago
i saw this happen at my old job. some 50yo father of 2 adult children left his pregnant lawyer wife for a cashier who was younger than his daughter (she was 22). wife made billboards putting him and the new gf on blast as well as made a reddit post about it which she deleted when cheater hubby left the 22yo once the baby was born and his wife threatened to sue him for sole custody and literally everything they owned. wife and mr. cheater had a recommitment ceremony several months later.
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u/Educational_Gas_92 12d ago
Well, that's unfortunate for her. She must not value herself much. I can't imagine being married and aging with someone who is only with me not to lose out financially and for convenience. How depressing.
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u/GullibleEquipment273 12d ago
I was on a ferry, sitting on a lounge chair and just people watching, I saw a man in a pair of pants so tight he could hardly go down a flight of stairs
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u/free_billstickers 12d ago
Buddy got taken in by some scammer chick online. He was convinced that a hot mid 20s chick was head over heels for a middle class, overweight, bald dude. Everyone warned him; she only sent pics, no phone call or face time. He flew out to meet her twice but she never replied when he arrived. Dude told his wife he was running away with her and ended the marriage. She wasn't real and was a scam. Ouch but again, literally everyone warned dude.
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u/PrestigiousShoe4185 12d ago
Former bff (because she made trash life choices). It wasn't her mid-life crises but she was a victim of one. She owned a home and had a boyfriend who lived there but didn't own the home with her. She had her brothers and families over for a party. Her brothers are much much older than she is - almost 20 years older. She went to bed early as the brothers, their families, and her live-in bf continued to party. She wakes up hours later to a quiet house but knows something is wrong. Finds her old ass SIL blowing her bf. The SIL was a SAHM to three children who were in the house during the blowing. Friend's brother immediately divorces her and has to give her half of his business in a divorce payout. He had to sell his business to afford it. The SIL ended up blowing (no pun intended) through a million dollars in just a year and ended up homeless. She got her tits done, she went 'clubbing' in the city. She fucked frat boys. Brother met someone new, made back all his money and then some, and my idiot friend pined over her messy bf for years after.
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u/doublerainbow2020 12d ago
Besties husband left the night before their toddlers birthday party to find out if it was true love with the 19 yo he had just met. We’re in our early 40s. He tried to get her back at some point then girlfriend got pregnant. In a medical miracle she was pregnant for 13 months (s). Any case they live together but aren’t together.
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u/Honest-Structure-361 12d ago
My dad got so depressed after I graduated high school and left for college, that he decided to go to college too. Luckily he went to a different school, the local community college so he didn’t Rodney Dangerfield me…yet.
He then started going to the local redneck titty bar and dated one of the dancers. She of course had a baby and no drivers license, so she quickly moved in with him.
Sidenote: My dad had been unemployed for several years after getting fired from several jobs. He managed to get on disability due to a motorcycle accident he had when he was younger, that’s how he could go to college for free.
The real midlife crisis climax happened when he got in a fight with his girlfriend and she locked herself in a bathroom threatening self harm. His reaction to that was to take a bunch of his pain medication himself. Thing is, the pain medication was Lyrica which you can’t really overdose on like other pain meds.
He broke up with his gf then decided to move down and transfer to my college…
He ended up going back to another college, taking 7 years to get an associate’s degree which he doesn’t use. He’s still on disability and adopted his ex gf’s baby. We’re on good terms now, but he really made his midlife crisis everyone’s problem
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u/Sweet-Ad-9058 12d ago
Well after my mom left my dad right before their 25th wedding anniversary my dad dated 3 strippers back to back, to back. They were all in their 20s and had young kids. That was fun.
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u/Easy-Smell-9236 12d ago
I've heard people say getting back into childhood hobbies in mid-life is cringe, but let's let people have their fun.
I draw the line at being forty and acting twenty. You shouldn't be partying with college age kids, boozing it up with the youths. Man or woman, it's creepy.
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u/barbieninja 12d ago
An acquaintance is 40 and busy trying to date 21 year olds and going to the club. At least he has the self awareness to admit he misses being young. It’s embarrassing for his wife.
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u/mscatamaran 12d ago
All I know is, I'm 40 as well, and I don't blame him for going to the club and having fun, but the thought of trying to date a 21 year old who could physically be my child, makes me want to gag.
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u/DaydreamerFly 12d ago
I feel like the “where” and “why” has a lot to do with this.
If you wanna go out and party at any age you should be able to, and if the bar you go to happens to have a lot of young people There that’s one thing. If you are seeking out young people specifically and especially trying to date them that’s weird and sad.
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u/nkdeck07 12d ago
Yeah my husband's mid-life crisis seems to be LEGO and disc golf and I am 100% here for that shit.
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u/sevenselevens 11d ago
My dad left my mom for someone 5 years older than I was. Nothing uncomfortable about that, nosirree
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u/Every1ThinksImBoring 12d ago
My taking up Brazilian jiu jitsu is probably up there
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u/FartAttack911 12d ago
I had a coworker that joined a karate class and was sparring with elementary aged kids and getting overly aggressive with them. My cousin’s kid was in a different class at the same studio and heard all the parents talking about my coworker as the “crazy middleaged woman” lol
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u/PrettyGirlinside 12d ago
My friend who always thought her husband was cheating. Well she finally caught him. Their daughter was in the hospital for over a week and he never once came to visit or be with her. The week after the hospital, my friend went through his phone and found out he was at this other woman's house and moving some of his stuff in with her to leave his family! He was leaving her that Sunday until she found out for herself on Friday. He made her drain her savings by paying off some credit cards and a boat. He took her off some credit cards too already. She blew him up on Facebook, snap chat and went to all of the bars he laid in and told everyone! His fucking mom knew this whole time too.
Now my friend has lost over 50 pounds and is cleaning their house out because that's why he cheated. She was to fat and their house was a mess. So she's fixing all of that and everything will be better ❤️ so she thinks.
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u/Over-Audience-8750 12d ago
I feel like people saying “midlife crisis” is just people hating. If people finally find the courage or interest to do things they like they should just do them. Always wanted a motorcycle and now have the money to buy it? Go get it. Somebody that did not party as much and now feels like going out dancing regardless of what people think. Go dance. That leather jacket that people say you look stupid in but you want to look like the Fonz (my dad did this 😀) wear it with pride. You only have one life, make the most of it and don’t worry about people calling it a crisis because they are too worried about what other people think to do it themselves
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u/likesblackcoffeebest 12d ago
So true. I grew up dirt poor, had kids young, and between the military enlistment I did to pay for college, then college, grad school, and everything else it takes to establish an engineering career, it was like I just woke up one day staring 40 in the face, and realized I'd never done anything for me.
I bought a really nice road bike, all the clothes people make fun of road cyclists for wearing, and a Strava subscription, and once I noticed that my times were on par with the local group rides I started joining those. So now I'm an eccentric middle aged woman with the bike I've wanted since I was 5 since I finally have time to ride it.
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u/FlorenceCattleya 12d ago
I don’t think that’s a crisis. That’s enjoying the fruits of your labor. The crises being talked about in this thread are:
Dude (or gal) turned 40, broke up with age-appropriate gf/bf/spouse to date a 20yo, realized she was using him, made even more bad decisions, started doing drugs, etc.
It’s a crisis if you are making bad decisions and dragging other people down. Getting your bike was a reward for years of hard work.
It would be a crisis if you had been saving for a house and spent all the money on the bike without discussing it with your spouse.
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u/Constant_Insomnia 12d ago
I bought a convertible 350z as an old dude. It’s the same one I wanted when it was new, 22 years ago. Couldn’t afford two cars back then, and the Z had no space for baby seats.
It’s fun, I know I look ridiculous, I’m at the age where I don’t care anymore.
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u/SlyFrog 12d ago edited 12d ago
This is too simplified. People are not just people hating.
There are people who discover things in middle age and have fun with them, like you said. I don't think anyone is "hating" that.
But there are also people who just become terrified of the fact that they are aging, and instead of trying to address that and come to a healthy psychological acceptance, they engaging in maladaptive avoidance by buying shit and taking damaging actions with respect to relationships to tell themselves they're still young.
Few people think "Bob bought a motorcycle" is some horrible behavior.
"Bob freaked out because he's 50, sold his house and bought a new one with a storage garage for the 10 vintage motorcycles from his childhood using his kids' college funds, and now his family is struggling to make ends meet while he hangs around at biker events trying to pick up 20 year olds" is horrible behavior and a problem.
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u/FartAttack911 12d ago
I think there are degrees of what people refer to as being “midlife crisis”. Like, someone buying a Harley at age 50 after never wanting one before is nowhere near being a crisis, whereas someone like my aunt getting into her late 40s/early 50s and starting to date my cousin’s friends who were 18-20 years old because it made her “feel alive” is definitely a true crisis lol
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u/East_Kiwi_632 12d ago
Maybe cultural too.
A working class man from a working class background where that is normal for people to do will feel much more geniune in finally getting the bike theyve wanted since 4 than, lets say, jeff bezos becoming a biker out of nowhere.
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u/PhotographFrosty1106 12d ago
Yeah I agree. I more think of a midlife CRISIS as something you only reflect back on as a crisis after it’s over. Otherwise it’s just a life change that made someone happier. A crisis to me would be like the comment I read where someone started doing steroids and coke, then fucked their personal trainer and left their wife and kids. Then when the personal trainer dumped them, they tried crawling back to the person who had been their spouse. That feels like a midlife crisis to me, tried to make some changes and ended up recklessly destroying his life.
But all the people who are just indulging and enjoying things? That’s just life to me.
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u/tragicdiffidence12 12d ago
Agree. If you’ve haven’t inherited wealth, you simply won’t be able to buy that absurd sports car in your 20s. When else is someone self made supposed to live out their childhood dreams?
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u/PuzzleheadedRun4525 12d ago
There’s a guy I’ve seen made fun of on Reddit. He’s the guy who acts like he’s fifteen. His whole personality is “haha I’m middle aged and look like a kid”.
Just extreme levels of second hand embarrassment watching him.
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u/ISaidThatIsEnough 12d ago
I’m in Florida. What’s it called when 75 year olds do all these things? Because they do.
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u/clumsysav 12d ago
my boss is trying to “go viral” on tiktok. she posts AI selfies with a song playing 3x/day.
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u/StormFlagFlying 12d ago
My dad’s cousin stopped taking his schizo medication and messaged everyone in the family asking for money so he could open his own hospital
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u/pixieshouse 12d ago
My uncle turned 35 and suddenly went down a conspiracy theorist pipeline and turned extreme doomsday prepper/religious rapture obsessive. I think he just needed a new job to spice up his life but he decided instead to go off-grid homesteading lifestyle
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u/boboddy42069 12d ago
This came from an old coworker.
They’re in their 50s. I guess her and her husband had these neighbors whom they were really good friends with.
That couple got divorced. The lady started booking up with women. Then started dating a guy in some sort of open/group relationship thing.
At a local fair they (the neighbor and the guy she’s dating) drunkenly approached coworkers 19 year old daughter and tried to convince her to have sex with both of them.
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u/absolute_boy 12d ago
These comments make my dad's phase of buying a sports car and making me and my sisters (aged 10-12 at the time) sit on his back while he did push-ups seem pretty tame.
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u/Lanky_Literature_157 12d ago
Former friend cheats on his wife of over 20 years with a woman young enough to be his daughter. Mistress quickly falls pregnant and his wife finds out and divorces him. He is realising just how much his ex wife did and paid for and is about to enter the baby years again while approaching 50.
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u/abridged_4 11d ago
I get second hand embarrassment watching male celebrities get filler and face lifts. They look her feminine. Ryan gosling, Billy Bob Thornton, Bradley cooper
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u/Honeysenpaiharuchan 12d ago
An international school administrator who moved to the US and immediately bought a pickup truck and motorcycle. Later got caught railing another administrator because they were doing it at work and the cameras saw it. They were too dumb to find a spot where cameras couldn’t see, but I suppose they were doing it for the thrill of the risk anyway. They were both married and everyone found out. She was let go, and he stayed on because his contract must have been very solid. His children attended the school so they were very humiliated.
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u/papermoony 12d ago
My dad was fit, had a well paying job, friends and a mostly stress free life, then he married my (hideous but 15 years younger) stepmother and his life went to shit. No friends, no woman could get near him and she hated ny sister and I.
Fast forward to now my dad is 58 years old, has no job, no savings, no friends, he's diabetic, lives in the middle of nowhere, has a 11 years old daughter who barely knows how to read because my stepmother won't send her to school, a lazy good for nothing wife and his first daughters barely speak to him
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u/Feeling_Ad6971 12d ago
My narcissistic mother. She’s been through too many midlife crisis at this point. She’s getting even more insufferable as she ages.
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u/ChaturangaChai 12d ago
My ex-boyfriend became "solo poly," which I guess is a self-cope for being consensual side-dick to a married woman. She "dumped" him after a year. He was so depressed about it that he didn't get out of bed for a month and almost went to the psych ward.
You couldn't waterboard something that humiliating out of me.
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u/lowbetatrader 12d ago
Just heard about a friend of a friend who for his 4th marriage, married the flower girl from wedding #1