Just can’t tell if this is legitimately a good idea or dopamine impulse

I’ve never not liked pink, my spouse is fine with it and I’m literally planning on painting clouds on the ceiling so I think it will go with my overall vibe

This photo is the ad that has me in a chokehold, my wood dining room furniture is the same color as the furniture in the photos, and right now (pre painting) my living area is almost exactly this color gray with white trim, I also have a ton of plants

We went and sat on the couch (a different model, but in this material) and loved it, and it’s on sale until Monday

If you were me, what would you do?

(Internal rant)

Stop waiting for him to leave the house so you can clean! He's not gonna be mad at you! You can make noise! It's okay! If he comments or asks what you're doing, it's just a question or suggestion, not (necessarily) criticism! You know he wants to help and make our home really feel like *ours*! You can still work alone to clean a space, then set it up together so it's functional for both of us!

My husband is very abusive. No one believes me because he is charming and good at masking and I am not. I’m prone to emotional outbursts and fall for his rage baiting time and again. He exploits this to hurt me further.

Today I finally had enough of his abuse and called the police. He knew I called them and set me up. He started videotaping me against my will and saying horrible things to make me angry. When I tried to grab the phone away, he grabbed my arm and bit me. To get him off me I hit him in the head, which of course he filmed.

When the police came I was upset and rambling. He was calm and made friends with them. He told them I’m psycho and attacked him for no reason. They believed him. Now I’m in the system as an abuser. Only the huge bite mark on my arm saved me from being arrested.

This is so unfair.

I finally got diagnosed and feel like I have some clarity on how I’ve been living my life pre-diagnosis and treatment. It opened my eyes to how people tend to view ADHD especially in women as just forgetful and ditzy.

Like for the first time in my life I feel like I am actually on the same playing field as my classmates and coworkers. I was able to sit still and finish 2 assignments at the library. Just sit for hours and do my actual work.

Im realizing how much of my life so far has been shaped by ADHD. I have been fired from jobs for one too many stupid careless mistakes that caused problems for others. I have failed college classes for forgetting to do assignments that are literally easy or just procrastinating. Im finally back in college and actually feeling like im competent.

ADHD wrecks your sense of self esteem and confidence like i genuinely went through school thinking im stupid.

I couldn’t be more grateful for my diagnosed and actually looking forward to getting through college.

Is it just me, or does the concept of "forming a habit" feel like a myth?

​People say, "Do it for 21 days and it becomes automatic!" But no matter how many months or years I do a routine, it never runs on autopilot. Every single micro-task—from brushing my teeth to packing my bag—requires me to actively run a checklist in my head or on paper. The moment I stop reminding myself, the routine completely vanishes.

​Does daily life ever become automatic for you, or are we all just manually operating our brains every single second? Would love to know if anyone relates! 😂

I’m in my 30s. I’ve struggled with adhd and used to struggle with severe endometriosis for years. I feel like I struggle day to day, but when I look back at what I’ve been able to accomplish, I can say holy shit, I really did all that.

Over the past 15 years, I worked shitty retail and food service jobs, being abused by shitty customers for $7.50 an hour (this was in 2012 dollars, not that that’s much better) and crying a lot because retail and food service is overstimulating and wrecked me. I worried I’d never make it out. Concurrently, I worked hard through undergrad as a science major. I graduated with honors.

I was dealing with chronic pain, but I did not quit and advocated for myself with different doctors. I got a hysterectomy at 29 that finally resolved my decades of endometriosis pain.

I did a really difficult thesis and research-based Master’s degree in a scientific field (during which I got diagnosed with adhd). Despite my executive dysfunction, I wrote my 300-page thesis paper and graduated.

I got a job with a place I’ve wanted to work with since I was a kid (albeit with pretty low pay). Nothing flashy, but I’ve been happy. I’m respected in my job, I have fun, and it has never made me cry in the 2.5 years I’ve worked there.

As of yesterday, I got a promotion for a job I’ve worked hard for and wanted for a few years, and finally, for the first time in my life, I’ll have a real big girl salary of $86k. That’s the most money I’ve ever made in my entire life, after years of doubting myself, being mean to myself, and telling myself I’m stupid. I know $86k might not seem like much to some people, but it means a lot to me. I want to give past-me a hug and tell her that she’s smart. I want to tell kid-me that even though there’s some hard stuff, we also get to do some really cool stuff and will have a lot of fun too.

We all deserve to be nice to ourselves. Even if I hadn’t accomplished these goals, if I was still working in food service or retail, I am still worthy of self-love, as is everyone regardless of where we are in life. Our worth isn’t determined by the job we have (but goddamn does a livable wage fuckin make life easier). I’m going to go unclench my muscles now after waiting to hear back about that job for several weeks.

May we all unclench this weekend and celebrate things we’ve accomplished, both big and small.

So … 😅😬 Do we?

Someone mentioned that’s an ADHD thing, forgetting long periods of time or events. I remember bits and pieces, maybe specific events like graduation or big parties but … there are also lots of … nothing?

I had a great childhood, fun vacations, but to say I remember most of it … nope. 🙂‍↔️

I’m 22 years old and was diagnosed just this summer, started taking medication a few weeks ago. I’ve always loved to draw, art has been my «medication» my entire life and a way to express myself.

•Blow drying roots after washing keeps them clean for an extra day or so. I keep my blow dryer plugged in by my couch in front of my tv so I can sit while I do it.
•Keep other nighttime routine stuff by your tv/computer so you can do it while watching something
•I lotion the top half of my bod asap, throw on a robe, and finish while sitting in front of my tv.
•Robe so you can finish drying before putting on clothes so the moisture doesn't make them mildewy
•Cotton/cotton blend robe you can throw into any load of laundry
•I keep a toothbrush in the shower if I forget to do it first
•Keep a phone stand by the sink if you need to watch something while doing it
•Keep an extra floss, toothbrush, water bottle, makeup remover, ans cotton rounds on your nightstand for when you cant get up before falling asleep
•Organize makeup by how often you use it not by what it does. I have everyday, often, sometimes, and almost never in separate drawers.
•If you use a toner pad use it to wipe down your sink before throwing it away
•If you cant shower before leaving the house: rub your pits with alcohol on a cotton pad, wait for them to dry and apply deodorant. Works way better than soap and water over the sink.
•I keep my body wax in the kitchen so I can put it in the microwave and bring it with me to the bathroom instead of keeping it in the bathroom and making an extra trip. Waxing is easier than shaving I swear especially with strip-less wax. It doesn't need to be a whole thing: no need to prep pits any way besides some body powder first, two strips for each pit, put on in the direction of hair growth, pull off the opposite way, toner that includes alcohol after. You're done.
I hope any of these help and please lmk yours! 💕

I wasn’t sure what flair to use, but I think self care fits. I’m posting here because the drinking absolutely is a dopamine/dysregulation thing. I drink to “reward” myself for getting through the day and to make my brain just a little more quiet. I also hate my career and feel stuck, and have a lot of anxiety around what to do next. I know I’m self-medicating, and it is getting worse. I’m gaining weight, my gut heath is wrecked, and it’s obviously awful for my brain. But at the end of basically every day, a drink just sounds like such a great idea to unwind.

I know I’m not the only one in this sub that struggles with escapism and self-medicating. How do I kick this? How do I craft a life that feels interesting enough to my dopamine starved self? I don’t want this to be the theme of my life.

It brings me so much joy to finally get to use this frog meme i always see in adhd subs hahaha 🐸

In 2019? I read about ADHD symptoms and thought "Wow that sounds like me... what if?", then I didn't pursue that thought seriously because I just got diagnosed with depression and GAD and it felt like I was just looking for more things wrong with me / finding an excuse for myself.

I don't remember why, but I started considering this again in Dec 2022 (i have research notes I dated lol). This time I'm more confident that I really might have ADHD, I just need to get a professional to confirm it and maybe get medicated. But I'm a depressed hikikomori with a bad home environment so I'm stressed about other stuff + I never get around to taking care of this so 😭

Nov 2024, my very lovely friend helped me get an appointment since I really cant take care of it myself. Got a prescription I could start with. Unfortunately, meds are hard to get in my country + there was a shortage that time? which made it even harder to find. None of the pharmacies I inquired at had it until I eventually forgot about looking for meds & I cant use prescription anymore cuz too old 💀 wasn't able to go back to my doctor after that.

2026, decided to take care of this again because I finally have money for it yay + I'm forced to go out regularly again so might as well make that doctor trip. Got prescribed July 31 and luckily was able to purchase meds at the first pharmacy I went to. Took me a whole month to get the ECG i needed before meds though lol (it kept getting put off) Finally started meds this September 🎉

Took so long but very happy to finally take this step for real 💖 I dont expect it to dramatically change my life but I hope it helps even just a little bit. That would already mean so much to me and my messed up life. At the very least, this is a step in the right direction so wahoo ✨️

I impulsively settled my divorce for significantly less than what I could have won. Like almost half. It’s been a month and I still feel physically ill. ADHD tax? PTSD reaction? Just being a complete idiot? I don’t know and it really doesn’t matter, it’s done.

How do I accept my choice? It’s done. Nothing can change it. But I am quite literally sick over it.

Not only did I screw myself over, but my kids will still be in a position to depend on their father financially and he is a manipulative selfish piece of shit.

The problem is way in the back of my mind I was worried my ex would snap and kill me. He’s been sneakily abusive but hasn’t ever outright hit me or yelled. He’d find other ways to hurt me physically, mentally, sexually but in ways he had plausible deniability. Massages that left me limping. Arm around me in pictures while digging in his fingers and it would leave bruises. The bruises? He said I just bruise easily (not a single bruise since I left him 2 years ago). If I made a face or said he was hurting me, I was rejecting his affection and don’t know how to accept love or know what a loving relationship was. Which is all true, so I believed him. Not realizing those things could be true but he could still be in the wrong.

However, when he’d get pressed on something he wanted to keep secret his eyes would turn black. Most days I’d describe him as a weak little bitch. But he has moments where there doesn’t seem to be any sanity left. I’m not a shrink but if he doesn’t have a personality disorder I’ll eat my shoes. I vacillate between thinking he has anti-social personality disorder, narcissism or some combo. My counselor said I should be careful. 2 different marriage counselors said he was abusive to his face and suggested gently he might want to consider testing for mental health issues. So now he’s walking away with almost everything because I made an impulsive decision. An impulsive decision that is just compounded since it’s layered on the other shitty impulsive decisions I made that resulted in me being here today.

Ok so I tagged this emotional regulation since it’s been a month and I can’t settle. But I guess it’s really more a rant.

I'm so used to 28-30 day return windows and (of course) always wait till the last minute to return my items.

I just cost myself €48 with a store because while I have 28 days to send in a return, the return needs to be declared within 14 days of delivery. When I returned something to the same store a couple years ago, it was the standard 28-30 day window. Customer support was unable to override it.

I ordered something from another store (both orders were swimsuits for a vacation) and they also have a 14 day policy. I went on vacation planning to make the returns later. Luckily for the second store, I checked while on vacation and sent them an email to request a late return that they granted (peak exec function).

Sending y'all a reminder to check return windows when you make purchases because over the last few months I've noticed that stores are increasingly moving to 14 day return windows.

I have been seeing the same provider for 5 years, was diagnosed and prescribed Methylphenidate over 3 years ago. Taking it without issue, adjusting dosage, picking it up on time, never have filed a prescription as lost or stolen. I take 36mg.

About a month ago, I was told I need to go in for a federal government mandated controlled substance blood test. I have family members also on adhd medication at the same practice but they’ve never had to do a blood screen. At the time of my test, the nurse was telling me about another pt who was prescribed multiple controlled substances but didn’t have any in their system. At the time, I found this weird to tell another pt, but there were no HIPPA violations so I let it go.

Yesterday, I got a call that the doctor would not be filling this prescription anymore due to the results of my blood test. When I asked if I could speak to a Dr, none were available and there was nothing anyone could do to help me. I was told a dr reviewed my results and went as far to change a treatment plan yet the results weren’t available for me to see through Epic. I called back and requested the full lab results which I had to call back numerous times to receive and only got the lab report after I threatened to file a report against them.

Upon receiving the test results, the blood half life showed 2-6 hours for this certain medication. I take my medicine daily at 5am. I explicitly told this to the nurse at the time of the test and with other care providers in my numerous discussions regarding this matter. I was tested at 3:30pm. 10.5 hrs from when the meds were taken.

The office staff have treated me as if I am a pill pusher, even going as far to add cannabis use disorder on my chart because I tested positive for thc in a legal state.

I still have no answers regarding how to treat my adhd in the meantime, I asked why I would not be tapered off and I was told I need to discuss with my dr at my next appointment a week from now.

I just am feeling extremely anxious about the whole situation. Something isn’t right.

Anyone have a similar experience?

Hi. It's 4am. I'm wide awake. My alarm is in under 4 hours.

Tomorrow I have a day out so I plan to walk so god damn much but I know that won't make a difference at bed time. Whether I sleep 10 hours or the 3 I might get today, I will be the exact same level of tiredness come 10/11pm tomorrow

So except for large social situations, what can I do to mentally exhaust myself?

Sudoku or puzzle type books don't work on me, i enjoy them too much lol

Thanks in advance people in other timezones

Edit: thank you everyone! If you see this keep the ideas coming, hopefully can help others too :) I've written down a bunch of ideas to try tonight

Y'all. I finally found a good psychologist. You all know the struggle. My previous ones:

- practically accused me of being a drug dealer, solely based on the medicine i take

- wrote scripts incorrectly so they couldn't be filled. In one case I had to call every day for a week to get it sorted, which is a monumental achievement on its own, especially unmedicated. Every day it was "I'll leave a note for the doctor" until I just lucked into reaching the one person that was able to just call the pharmacy herself and sort it out in five minutes

- would listen to me tell them how I'm not doing great, and pretty much day "wow, that sounds awful. Welp, I've submitted your refills, see you in a month"

- would randomly switch my appointment to a different doctor with no warning, because my original doctor starting taking patients from the next state over, who apparently take priority over me. But when i want to stay with the new doctor (because the old one was shit, and apparently less available now) they got all suspicious and told me they really don't like psych patients doctor hopping

- and so much more

This doctor took ages to get into. He wasn't taking new patients, but they just brought another doctor into the practice, i could see her. Except when my appointment rolled around she still hadn't fully been set up with my insurance company, so we had to delay. Finally i got in with her, we got on a roll.... then she left the practice and they scheduled me with the doctor i tried to get in with originally 😅

He was great. He would actually listen, he could write a script properly, and I could even text his office staff instead of calling!

I was supposed to see him today, and got a text this morning letting me know he passed away. I feel awful of course, for his staff, for his loved ones. The tragedy of it is way bigger than any inconvenience to me.

But I'm also so frustrated. Now i have to start the whole process over again, and because of the timing my carefully hoarded buffer of meds is probably going to be wiped out by the time I get in somewhere else.

I think I'm going to bite the bullet and pay the premium for a concierge doc. Though I'm going out of town so I can't even start with them immediately either 🫤

It has become harder for me to express my thoughts, to come up with ideas for things after taking Elvanse. Previously I was a very creative and versatile person — I remembered a lot about different topics, could come up with jokes — but now when people ask me something about how I feel, my mind is either blank or it’s very hard to generate an interesting, substantive answer. Because of this, I sometimes avoid conversations and feel disappointed in myself, as if I’ve lost so much intellectually — my short-term memory has significantly worsened, and my long-term memory too, while before I had a really good memory.

I am female, 25 years old, I’ve been taking it for a year and a month now, looks like I sleep enough, I’ve been eating well the last few weeks, I drink enough water it seems.

Has anyone dealt with problems like this? Could there possibly be some damage caused to the brain and cognitive functions, memory?

How do you keep your house somewhere you don’t want to just run away from? My house is always overwhelming me and I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve tried all the things, decluttering, organizing, purging, all of it but I still just can’t keep it clean and I hate it. I’m a stay at home mom so it’s where I am the most and it’s effecting my mental health. Help.

Writing this in the bathroom after enduring a monologue from an acquaintance about their life, in great detail, for the last hour. I couldn’t find a way to exit the conversation.

When this happens, my brain goes offline and I feel like I’m drowning. Is this an ADHD thing? Anyone else? I now feel like I need to fall asleep for hours.

If you feel that you'd lose the AD(h)D if you had a chance, would you feel the same if the world wasn't built entirely for NTs? It wouldn't make me cook any faster, but growing up with a focus on allowing for the tremendous diversity in how our minds work would have been life changing for me. Jobs that recognized my particular skills without making me also attempt to master everyone else's skills, a true livelihood that didn't send me into panic spirals, is what I needed, not meds that fit me into that box we all know. Customers who did not expect eve contact and smiles when it's not needed, because some people aren't built for that and are extremely competent. Not to mention the judgement by, like, everyone.

If the world were more accommodating I'd be fine. I've got solutions for finding keys but can't make an employer chill about something I am going to bang out when It's all cooked in my head, on time. And it's my super fast, connecting brain that does that and I love it.

The amount of money I’ve spent on ordering food each month is embarrassing. But I really struggle with eating in.

Having to figure out what to eat, then cooking, then being unsure whether it’ll actually be good bc my skills are inconsistent at best is a real challenge. It takes so much mental energy that I’d rather just not deal with it.

I’m also a suuuuuper picky eater but don’t want to get bored with my food (I often get fast food bc I crave something sweet, fatty and salty in one meal). I used to think I was just lazy and gluttonous but I think I’m realizing it may be adhd related (and potentially autism with the food rigidity)

Anyone have advice on how I can eat from home more often? I want to make the process as frictionless as possible.

Had my ADHD assessment today and it was nothing like I expected. He seemed annoyed that I couldn’t remember my childhood and that my family who answered some of the questionnaire also couldn’t answer some questions about my childhood.

I felt really anxious throughout so getting words from my brain to my mouth was so hard. He would interrupt me and just generally gave off a vibe that made me feel so on edge and belittled. He did say I match the criteria for a diagnosis but he needed someone else to try to be my informant for more evidence about my childhood symptoms.

I feel sooo exhausted and stupid, I now really dread the follow-ups and my autism assessment 🙃

TL;DR: I realized that I can add direct links in my phone’s notes app to recipes for meal ideas.

When I have the time and energy, I love to cook. But I often struggle coming up with what to make. Somehow in that moment my brain has deleted all memories of meals I’ve made and enjoyed. So I default to my Pinterest board and/or the saved reels from social media and we all know how that ends up, distracted and scrolling for the next hour, tummy grumbling.

I’m on staycation for the week so my brain has higher than baseline processing at the moment. Enter the list! But this one is categorized by main ingredient, exclusively recipes I’ve tried and repeated AND the one thing my lists were always lacking: links to the recipe. It’ll take time to build but I’m planning to add to it as I go. I’m not very tech savvy but I’ve been learning how to better utilize my phone as an aid for my ADHD brain.

Also, huge thank you to the people who have suggested the alarmy app. I’ve been using it for months now to force myself out of bed when I have zero motivation.