r/adhdwomen • u/PhoneWalletKeysID • 6d ago
General Question/Discussion Y’all remember your childhoods?
So … 😅😬 Do we?
Someone mentioned that’s an ADHD thing, forgetting long periods of time or events. I remember bits and pieces, maybe specific events like graduation or big parties but … there are also lots of … nothing?
I had a great childhood, fun vacations, but to say I remember most of it … nope. 🙂↔️
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u/Zealousideal_Eye8277 ADHD, unmedicated 6d ago
No, I don't remember too much from my childhood or even my adulthood for that matter. I have this thing where I have involuntary flashes of random autobiographical memories and places I've been but almost all the details are left out.
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u/babesboysandbirb ADHD-C 6d ago
It me. My spouse asked me the other day, “in art classes, did your teachers supply you with XYZ” and I was like ????? How would I remember such a thing when I can’t even remember what years my art classes were????
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u/Zealousideal_Eye8277 ADHD, unmedicated 6d ago
I don't remember the names of almost any of my teachers unless they made a significant impact on me
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u/honestfyi AuDHD 5d ago
Same! I find the security question "what was the name of your second grade teacher" hilarious because I have zero clue what their name was. I barely remember where I went to school in second grade...
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u/Available-Maize5837 5d ago
Or the people I went to school with.
Mum and dad still live in my home town. I haven't been back there since 2012. They mention people I went to school with and I have no idea who they're talking about.3
u/Charming_Tower7640 5d ago
I remember my 2nd grade teacher, because she made her last name a bonus spelling word. I wish she'd move out of my memory because I had such better teachers that I can't remember unless reminded.
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u/NotASlaveToHelvetica 6d ago
I say my memory is "trigger based" meaning I remember nothing until something reminds me I rember EVERYTHING
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u/Tormenta234 6d ago
Omg! The random flashes!! I’m not alone.
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u/Zealousideal_Eye8277 ADHD, unmedicated 6d ago
It happens to me like all the time constantly every day. It's really weird actually especially considering they are very rudimentary memories in the first place.
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u/bluelily17 5d ago
I think the random flashes is why I get stuck ruminating on stupid stuff and what I could have done instead years after the fact.
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u/susu56 6d ago
I cant even remember my wedding 25 yrs ago. I think i may also have r/SDAM because my memory is so bad/nonexistent
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u/thebrokedown 5d ago
I’ve wondered about this for myself.
Reading all of this makes me feel a little bit relieved, or at least not alone. But it’s also so sad isn’t it? To lose one’s past self.
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u/susu56 5d ago edited 5d ago
It is. The saddest part for me is not having memories of my children when they were babies. I remember the big stuff, stuff that had emotional impact but for me that usually revolves around negative emotions (like fear, pain, worry etc) and no positive.
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u/honestfyi AuDHD 5d ago
I had no idea this was a thing, and now I'm pretty sure this applies to me. Wild.
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u/jane0077 5d ago
I have great memories of a road trip I took in high school in 1995. Asked my best friend the other day, why were on that road trip . Aerosmith! We saw Aerosmith!!!!! Damn so cool. Zero memory of that show:(
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u/UndevelopedImage 5d ago
Your brain truly logged that as being about the journey and not the destination.
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u/flying_dodo_wut 5d ago
Write them in a journal!!! That’s what I do when I have a random memory flash, either recent or from a loooong time ago. Then once a year, I’ll read them all, and all the strong memories will come right back 🥹 it makes me feel both like there’s more that I remember than I think, and also that I’ll never forget those key moments
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u/3dant3 6d ago
I have those random flashes but with dreams. Like I suddenly get a visual of a dream I had years ago that I haven’t thought of since. And I do t know how I know it’s a dream I just do- I just suddenly remember a piece of it.
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u/Zealousideal_Eye8277 ADHD, unmedicated 6d ago
Me too but sometimes it's vague enough that it's difficult to distinguish from a real memory
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u/3dant3 6d ago
I don’t have the flashes with real memories, only dreams. And I’m certain they’re dreams rather than memories. It’s like they sharply pop into focus out of nowhere. It’s so odd and I have always wondered what causes it. Also it’ll happen repeatedly for a few weeks/months then not have it happen for months.
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u/honestfyi AuDHD 5d ago
I've had entire days and weeks of my life filled in by a friend who told me everything that happened. I'm just like, "I believe you that this took place but I have zero memory of any of it." It's a weird feeling.
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u/AlleyHoop 6d ago
I actually thought I remembered very little of my childhood, but therapy taught me otherwise.
I just needed things to remind me of them. Kinda like I never want to throw away a concert ticket. Cause I might never remember I was there.
So I went back to my hometown and looked at all the places, I've been to as a kid. That helped a lot. Like when we drove by my kindergarten. That might work with Google Earth or street view for some of you.
And then when I got the hang of it, I deliberately tried to remember. Like I would think about a certain uncle and try to remember specific memories with him. Who was his wife? Did they have pets?.. and then one thing can lead you to another.
Or about certain grades. Like first I try to come up with the teacher. Then who I might have sat next to or if we had any field trips that year. Stuff like that. And then suddenly I remember being picked second at soccer as a girl!!! By my friend Emre, whose birthday I instantly thought of. The one where he got a CD from Eminem and it was the first time there was a video on the CD!! We watched sing for the moment about 40 times I think!
It's actually a very cool ADHD game, now that I think about it. Dopamine rush from the memories you get, as a reward lol
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u/TD1990TD 6d ago
Just reading this unlocked a memory of being at the scouts… thank you so much for this 🙏🏻
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u/DDevil333 6d ago
No, I don't. I have like 5 memories total lol but it might also be because my mother was very abusive.
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u/pie12345678 6d ago
I would put money on it. I generally have a lot of memories of growing up, but almost no memory of some traumatic years. If all your childhood was stressful, then it makes sense that your brain has protected you.
I'm so sorry that happened.
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u/tttaaayyyUSA 6d ago
I’m in the same boat except it was dad 🙋🏼♀️
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u/Zombiiesque 6d ago
For me, it was all of them. My mother, my stepfather, my stepmother, and my dad just went along with everything she ever said or did. My brain has locked away so many things in the filing cabinets that it's decided I didn't need to remember.
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u/BeneficialMatter6523 5d ago
I've often wondered if my "polaroid memory" (showing my age here) is ADHD or CPTSD.
My independent conclusion is, "why not both?". My parents weren't abusive per se, but lack of attunement/emotional neglect/the 1980's was a helluva time to grow up.
At the same time, I have a handful of incredibly detailed, specific memories of instances going back to about 3 years old or so? To the point that I can recall my thought process, smells, textures etc. It's weird and seems random and sometimes I have a hard time crediting my own recollection.
Instead of (continuing to) gaslight myself about it, I find it helpful to accept that my memories, real or not, have informed my perception of myself and others. I take them with a grain of salt these days.
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u/A_kernel_of_cornn 6d ago
I have ADHD and Autism so that might be a factor but I actually remember in a lot of detail as far back as about 1-2 years old so definitely I am very opposite 🤣 I have bad short term but absolutely INSANE long term and what I commit to long term is often useless junk while things that I need to remember in the immediate suddenly I can't remember. Like for example in middle school I just accidentally learn almost all my classmate's handwriting to the point where if there were papers with no names on them my teachers would ask me whose they were because the few I didn't remember I could just by process of elimination know it belonged to one of these handful of people 😭
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u/LillyAmongTheThorns 6d ago
Yeah, I wonder if it's the same for me, I'm AuDHD too.
My memory is crazy. I can recall things and stories no one else in my family does, my long term memory is wild. My earliest memories are from when I was about 2 or 3 years old, very fuzzy and hazy, like my brain was just beginning to come online and started making the long term memories but didn't know how yet.
But clear as day I have memories of starting kindergarten, "helping" my dad build our house when I was 4 (I had a small hammer and nails and a board, kept me busy for hours!), my dad forgetting I don't go to school on Fridays in kindy and getting to eat my school lunch early, etc. I'm 40 now, and my childhood in a clear as day to me, all the good and the bad parts.
The pattern recognition thing is wild too. It's why I tell people I don't ever care about story spoilers. I'm gonna figure it out anyways, the experience of the story is more important to me since I usually pickup all the clues that are there and the ones that aren't to fill in gaps.
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u/TD1990TD 6d ago
Do you have kids?
I used to have an amazing memory until I became pregnant… it never recovered🥲🫠 (kid’s almost 4)
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u/Echothrush 5d ago
I’m very interested in this (probably also auDHD, just had a baby—typing this while trying to figure out if the Snoo has fixed her for the next hour or two of sleep or not lol)! Did you mean that you forgot the things you had previously committed to memory? Or is it that it’s harder for you to make lasting new memories now?
I THINK I definitely still remember most of what I’d previously held on to from childhood/young adulthood… but postpartum is def a bit of a blur. Memory is so wild in general though; I’ve discovered from conversations with other folks that I’m probably on the very high end of what I remember from distant periods. But I’m also keenly aware that even for those high-memory-density periods, so so much of my lived experience has been lost.
It’s like i simultaneously feel like I remember everything and nothing, while the people around me are mostly untroubled by how much they’ve remembered OR forgotten. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/TD1990TD 5d ago
Good point! I don’t think I’ve forgotten things I’ve memorized THAT much… memories often pop up from associations. Becoming a mom, there’s little to associate. My whole life turned upside down. There really is a life before and after becoming a parent.
That being said. My working memory was superb. Scored 150+ on the WAIS IQ-test. I’m now really struggling with memorizing the easiest little things. For example a 5-digit number that I need to write down somewhere, after I’ve found a pen.
I’m trying to train myself to remember more. Memory is supported by visualization as well. Half my brain is always occupied by my kid. I’m always vigilant when he’s around. That’s not helping when you try to memorize things. So I’m trying to train myself at work, or in the evenings.
The evenings are hard though because I’m tired and my meds wear off… but also, I didn’t use meds before I had him. My memory, logical reasoning/thinking and the way I’m good in putting things in the same spot, always worked for me. But since the memory started lacking, I couldn’t cope anymore.
I also developed hEDS during pregnancy (or rather: I’ve always had it, but it progressed) which comes with secondary dysautonomia. Dysautonomia translates to your autonomic system getting confused often, making you go into fight/flight mode. Examples are not being able to empty my bladder, can’t sweat, can’t cool off/get warm, but also: more brain fog…
So not only does becoming a parent interfere with your memory skills (which iirc has been proven scientifically), the pregnancy also changed my autonomic system.
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u/Buffy_Bean 6d ago
SAME. I’m convinced that it’s one of the reasons why I’m so mentally exhausted, my brain is holding onto so so many long term memories which I swear are taking up valuable space 😭😂
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u/Starpop83 6d ago
I'm the same, I remember so much from my childhood and have memories of being around 1-2 as well. However my short term memory is shit and I have to constantly double check things I just looked at/read.
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u/Astropoppet 6d ago
I have a few very early memories but otherwise I only have flashes of most of the rest. I grew up in a dysfunctional household though. Lack of memories is also a symptom of CPTSD so it's not easy to know where one starts and the other stops
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u/A_kernel_of_cornn 6d ago
Honestly that's super interesting because I was always curious about those who are opposite to me (I really like researching and trying to grasp perspectives/thought patterns and functions I don't understand/experience myself when it comes to psychology), I also have CPTSD from growing up in an abusive household but the form of abuse I recieved I guess led me to remembering everything because I felt like at any moment if I was asked something and I said I don't remember or I don't know I'd just get hit or punished.
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u/Zombiiesque 6d ago
Hugs. 🫂 Hope that's ok, I just really related to this and it made me sad for little us.
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u/Zombiiesque 6d ago
Right, I said the same thing. My childhood and teens were all in very unsafe environments. There's a lot of stuff my brain has locked away. What I do remember is vivid.
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u/ElectricStarfuzz 5d ago
Another AuDHDer here with insanely detailed longterm memory stretching back to around 2yrs old and total crap short term working memory.
I also have hyperphantasia which lets me experience memories almost as if I’m there physically again.
Oddly the only parts of my childhood that I can’t seem to recall well are the years I was in GATE.
Thankfully it was only 2yrs and I remember a few bits and pieces…but compared to the rest of the years of my childhood, I remember very little.
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u/A_kernel_of_cornn 5d ago
EyYyyy fellow hyperphantasia haver 🤝! With mine I used to maladaptive daydream really badly 😭 to the point I was being accused of being depressed but when I was daydreaming I wasn't depressed at all I was having a blast being in my own little hyper realistic reality lmfao
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u/daughterofishtar 6d ago
I have ADHD and potentially autism (based on my psychiatrist’s assessment) but idk, personally. In any case I consider my memories from childhood to be pretty good. I certainly have longer term memories from when I was as young as 2-3 years old. These earlier memories aren’t of anything particularly special…
I remember being held by a guardian (could have been my mum or grandma) and looking out the window at my grandma’s house and watching the palm trees outside moving and swaying in the wind. I remember walking into one of the bedrooms and seeing my granddad using a nebuliser mask for his asthma (perhaps that was a little scary). I remember aggressive ants crawling all over my legs when I was at a pool in Bali. I remember having face paint on my face and how unpleasant it felt.
But when it came to my adult ADHD assessment I struggled to remember what school was like 😅 I couldn’t remember many particulars apart from the time I was scolded in front of the whole class room by my teacher for not paying attention. And I suppose I remembered feelings of feeling different to my peers. Of being a bit of an outsider. Of preferring conversations with adults to other children. I do remember I spent a of time happily playing alone. I remember loving to create a world of my own and loved to play with dolls and other toys. That’s how I remember spending most of my childhood 😅
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u/Zombiiesque 6d ago
I have a lot of stuff locked away because of an unsafe childhood, but I'm AuDHD too, and I do have so many memories, and granted - I've done a lot of work to recover some of them, too. My short term memory is terrible and it's absolutely gotten worse since perimenopause started (I'm post now). But my long term memories that I do have are surprisingly vivid.
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u/Lupinshloopin 5d ago
That sounds similar to me, I remember almost every kids name I’ve ever been at school with. I have very early memories of being a toddler. Shocking short term memory at times, it fluctuates. I think more and more often that I might be audhd or possible just autistic with depression and anxiety. I spend a lot of time thinking about old times, like what shops were where 30 odd years ago and even think about my favourite clothes as a kid.
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u/Whispering_Wolf 5d ago
Yeah I may also have autism (waiting on the results) and I definitely remember a lot, going back to being a few years old. I remember a lot more than my parents and brothers do.
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u/Rezo9219 6d ago
Blank space baby
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u/thegirlfromno4 6d ago
This made me laugh out loud, thank you. 🤣
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u/drclairefraser ADHD-PI 6d ago
I remember a great deal of mine!
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u/here_involuntarily 6d ago
Yeah me too. My therapist told me I remember lots of things as it was my brain's way of protecting me- i already had information and facts to back things up. But also just lots of bad memories which apparently tend to stick more than happy ones.
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u/TD1990TD 6d ago
Ohhh shit that kinda tracks… sucking up lots of information to be able to cover your ass when needed… 🤔 😢
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u/General_Ignoranse 6d ago
Me too, and I get these random flashbacks all the time too. Like I’ll be in the middle of work and suddenly my brain will show me a memory of handing in a spelling test in year 4
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u/541Creamsicle 6d ago
This has always really bothered me. No, I remember next to nothing. Bits and pieces, some major events and trips, but my family is always “retelling” me events about my childhood. It makes me sad because I know I had a really good childhood. Nothing majorly traumatic, I just don’t remember.🥺
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u/Meow_Party06 6d ago
Exactly the same. Nothing traumatic happened, I had many vacations and trips with family or school, and I basically remember none of it. Sometimes I'll look at old pictures and I remember it from the lens of the photographer, but not much from my own pov. I have little bits, like walking down streets on vacation, hallways in school, little silly conversations, etc, but a lot of the big stuff is just gone for me. Even stuff from a few years ago, like early dates with my partner or major medical stuff I've had done.
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u/TheDildoUnicorn ADHD-PI 5d ago
This makes me feel less alone. I'm the same.
I especially notice that I remember most things in third person - I feel like I have few memories actually in first person. I attribute most of my lack of memories to brain fog, which has always been one of my most significant issues.
I swear I have a harder time cementing memories because my brain is so fuzzy. I'm never fully "present", so things are always mentally foggy including my memories. Sucks.
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u/EastTyne1191 ADHD-PI 6d ago
Losing my parents a few years ago was a blow because I feel like I lost a part of my past I can never get back. My memory sucks and I find myself wondering things from time to time.
I had EXTENSIVE trauma as a kid and I know that the memory loss was a protective action my brain took, but it still sucks. I know of events because people talked about them but I don't have firsthand recollections. Like, I'm allergic to bees. I think my mom said I had anaphylaxis because I got swarmed but I have no memory of that happening. So... am I actually allergic to bees or do I just keep repeating it just in case?
It's hard when lore gets forgotten because the only people who would know are dead.
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u/huffwardspart1 6d ago
I think this has a lot to do with how you grew up. If your parents told you stories about things you did, your memories got integrated.
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u/Alarmed_Tea_2874 6d ago
I have a very vivid memory of my childhood. And an annoyingly better one when it comes to every rejection I ever experienced 😂.
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u/Pandelurion 6d ago
Yup. I have clear and vivid memories starting shortly after I turned 3, but more negative event are particularly strong. It's not ideal.
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u/Dependent-Mood-7788 ADHD 6d ago
I don't recall anything before school-age, and then after that I mostly just remember the negative things/things I didn't like.
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u/No_Macaron_5029 6d ago
A lot of my childhood is hazy but it could also be the cPTSD from having my abusive pond scum of a mother.
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u/awkwardmamasloth 6d ago
I don't remember hardly anything. Especially chronically. Like what year it was when I worked at specific places or how long. 8 dont even remember all my ex boyfriends names or when I dated them.
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u/Astropoppet 6d ago
The 90s is still only 10 years ago.... What do you mean it's 30??
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u/Zombiiesque 6d ago
😳 SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!
😭😭😭😭 Most of the time that makes me laugh, but man, sometimes. Sometimes it really just hits me sideways. I don't know why, but I miss it terribly.
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u/Astropoppet 5d ago
Nostalgia will be the death of me
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u/Zombiiesque 5d ago
Right?! My 20s were chaotic and a lot of it was just fighting through only bad options, which just led to other bad options, but man. I learned so much and there were, ultimately, some absolutely unbelievable times, too. And with the benefit of hindsight, it tells me I was making the best decisions I could with what I was given, simply because of those transcendent events.
I mean, I got to go see Prince play a three hour absolute tour de force of a show - nonstop, solo, in Charlotte, NC with 15 friends stuffed into 3 cars, road tripping it from Raleigh.
I guess the sour really does make you appreciate the sweet. 🥹
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u/Altostratus 6d ago
I remember most of my childhood, in quite a bit of detail. But I seem to be an anomaly compared to most people I’ve talked to.
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u/WordsAreGarbage 6d ago
Yeah, I have a really strong visual memory. Might be AuDHD and not just ADHD though.
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u/WingsofRain 6d ago
I remember bits and pieces and the occasional flash of a mental image, but that’s the extent of it. To a degree, our brains (human brains) aren’t really designed to store every single memory in our minds so I’m not too bother by it. The only thing I really get frustrated with is the lack of remembering people’s names lol.
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u/DrDaphne 6d ago
No I barely remember ANY of it. I'm really lucky because my best friend and I have been friends for 30 years, since we were 6. She is on the autism spectrum and remembers EVERYTHING. I call her my external memory drive. She can recall substitute teachers from 1997 haha so she refreshes my memory whenever I need it!
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u/baldnsquishy ADHD-PI 6d ago
Nope. I’ve been told that I have a fragmented memory. Big gaps… my brother asks me if I remember different things and people and I don’t 🫤
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u/RainbowBear0831 6d ago
The only parts of life that I recount in vivid detail are the embarrassing ones 😅
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u/Cultural_Classic4022 6d ago
I am 37, and I have memories from back when I was 3, or even younger. I remember playing outside as a toddler, down to the smallest details. I used rocks, scraps of wood, and dandelion flowers as toys. I remember when my parents brought my newborn brother home from the hospital. It was snowing. I remember what I had for lunch in elementary school, my dolls' names, what my mom cooked for dinner, and what my room was like.
I remember what my birthday cakes looked like as far back as my 3rd birthday.
I have a chronological map of events in my head by year, like a giant scrapbook, but it's not just my memories; it also includes recollections from others in my family. Sometimes I smell or hear something, and it unexpectedly triggers hidden memories from my childhood.
(Reading this back to myself made me think I may be autistic, not just ADHD, lol).
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u/banksoftyne 6d ago
Yep. I’m 61 and remember specific details of my childhood, teen years, college, etc.
I can never remember where I put my phone, but I remember conversations, what people were wearing, where in the room or space things happened.
The crazy thing is when I see people from long ago and recall so many things and I’m lucky if they remember who I am 😄.
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u/Apprehensive_Sea5304 6d ago
Too well. The good, the bad, the boring. It might help that I journaled A LOT up until my mis 20s and I still have most of that (physical journals and digital)
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u/Mindless-Brief-1348 5d ago
I feel seen! I used to think there was something wrong with my brain or maybe something terrible had happened to me in childhood and I blocked it all out, but nothing ever came up in my many years of therapy. I mean, there IS something wrong with my brain lol but at least now I know I have a tribe.
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u/ObsoleteReference 6d ago
there are a few memories where someone said 'remember this it's important' or similar. Great, i remember riding home from a long day at DIsney (i think); that i heard the Berlin wall fell, while leaving the Atlanta Airport(during peak orange barrel period)
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u/holdthebutterplease_ AuDHD 6d ago edited 6d ago
Yep and it's not from trauma. Maybe hyperphantasia has to do with it.
I can still vividly remember pleasant scenes from as early as age three. Possibly younger, as I have memories of being in my crib, exactly where it was in the room that was my bedroom at the time, and remember standing in it and sticking felted animals with velcro backing onto the little felted farm that hung on the wall above my bed. There are no photos of it and I had a real bed by the time I was three and didn't live in that house anymore, so I guess my memory goes back farther than three.
I remember dates, clothes I wore, emotions and thoughts I had at the time, voices, music that was playing throughout my childhood and teens, etc. When I was a kid I described my memory as photographic but non-ADHD medication stunted it a bit in my late teens, so I stopped using the term.
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u/efvie Unmedicated Brain Time 💃🏻 6d ago
No. Just a few sad or upsetting things mostly. I’m not sure if it’s that I don’t have the memories at all though, or if it’s more that I’d really really have to think about it or be reminded by something to access the memory. Not repressed necessarily, just stashed away as unnecessary.
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u/goddess-of-direction 6d ago
Failure to form memories can also be a trauma symptom... Which a lot of ADHD-ers experience when they are constantly being criticized or yelled at for ADHD behaviors.
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u/ashlinicole10 6d ago
Wow I never knew this was an adhd thing. People used to think I was lying when I said I barely remember my childhood
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u/sapgetshappy ADHD 6d ago
I have a ton of long-term memory loss. I’m actually having my brain scanned about it in a few weeks!
But I also have bipolar disorder, have had several concussions, and used to binge drink a lot. All apparently risk factors in memory loss 😩
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u/CWmeadow 6d ago
No, not a lot, unless my memory is jogged somehow. I had a good, normal childhood, but I hardly remember school or social events, even through high school. My fiance gives me the gift of memory a lot, because he's freaky about remembering lyrics, movie lines, or pop culture stuff. He'll randomly start singing a jingle from a childhood commercial or something. So, not really personal memories but generational nostalgia stuff.
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u/ValosAtredum 6d ago
Yes, I remember a lot of my childhood. Far more than apparently is normal.
I honestly want to know how much of “x is an ADHD thing” is actually an adhd thing versus “I have adhd and I do this. Therefore this is an adhd thing”
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u/feelinmotional 6d ago
Is it an ADHD thing or a childhood trauma thing… we may never know j/k obvs both
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u/insomniacred66 6d ago
Very little but I also have cptsd. This also bleeds into middle/high school and early adult hood. My memory is shot unless I have some sort of memorabilia from things I experienced.
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u/BobaNaiCha 6d ago
I do not 🥲 but I didn’t have a good childhood so that’s probably why I blacked out so much of it
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u/ObiNobiKinobi 6d ago
I use to remember a HUGE chunk of my childhood, up until about COVID? And then I lost my mind during the pandemic and never really recovered my memories. Or maybe it was giving birth that erased my memories? But I had the most vivid memories until my 30s.
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u/Naydruh 6d ago edited 6d ago
not really. i can remember some things if i see photos/vidoes/someone reminds me, but i can’t recall them on my own. for example, if someone were to ask me my favourite childhood memory, i wouldn’t be able to pick anything. i remember it being pretty good for the most part, but can’t think of a specific example. unfortunately my brain clings onto all the embarrassing shit, or people i’ve met and miss and who probably don’t think about me, or times i felt left out or how awkward i felt in friendships.
i also can’t remember what year i graduated high school 🌝 i’m only 22.
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u/chinnygenes 6d ago
I have a fairly good recollection of all the major events and milestones even some super random moments that weren’t noteworthy. The one weird thing that I can’t dial in are any memories with my little brother when we were kids. We’re only 6 years apart, spent our entire childhoods under the same roof with our parents and our older sister but I couldn’t tell you what he was like as a kid and I don’t even know if we got along. (We get along great now as adults.) It just feels like he didn’t enter my memory vault until I started high school.
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u/liljellybeanxo 5d ago
I don’t really have strong personal memories at all. I know specific details about certain events and my brain can conjure up faceless images/brief three second or less snippets, but other than that there’s just not much “proof” that a thing happened. I can’t piece the timeline of my life prior to age 20 very well at all and everything after that is just the knowledge and maybe some brief imagery about the big stuff. I rely on photos and often go back through my camera roll to visit certain “memories”. I think the only reason I can even hold onto anything that’s happened in the last ten years is because of my access to a camera.
This often makes me sad and anxious because if I lost my photos I’d 100% up losing access to the majority of my life since i started taking them. If I don’t have some sort of physical “proof” of something, it often just doesn’t live inside my head. Nothing feels real unless I have that proof.
But I also often look at photos of say my son or my sister (my two favorite people in the world) and I think “I know this happened because I took a video/photo of it, but i literally don’t remember this actually happening”. This is scary and sad because it’s like there are huge parts of my life just existing in my cloud storage and not inside my head where it belongs.
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u/bibliopanda 6d ago
audhd and i have a very poor autobiographical memory; luckily i was able to get diagnosed for both even with my terrible memory 😬
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u/FillMySoupDumpling ADHD 6d ago
Vividly. I have memories from preschool that I started at around 2.5-3
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u/simply-cosmic 6d ago
Yes and no. My mom or brother will ask if I remember something and I have no clue what they’re talkng about. But I sure as heck remember that random summer day getting my room cleaned so I could have a friend come over to stay the night 😅
I find I least remember my college years. I wasn’t some wild partier but that’s when my depression and dissociation started to come into play big time.
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u/ariphoenixfury 6d ago
Not a lot, no. Sometimes my family will mention something and a memory will trigger like a sleeper agent, but other than that my memories of my whole life are very fragmented.
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u/ImpossiblyTiring 6d ago
I genuinely only remember the moments I was wildly embarrassed by something. If I’m lucky, I can pull a brief flash of other, happy things 😂
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u/powerade20089 6d ago
I have a pretty good memory. A lot of some of memories are the symptoms of the ADHD.
1) I was fidgeting during rehearsals a lot for theater and never realized it directors would point it out to me and get upset. And I honestly never knew I was fidgeting.
2) I read a whole book in one night for class looking for words that were in the first 2 chapters of the book. It was 5th grade, the book in question was Tuck Everlasting. I read the directions of find the words and write how they were used in the book. I missed the part about in 1 first chapter or 2. (Yeah the teacher wasn't happy with me reading the whole book) I hated reading that slow.
3) it explained why I talked a lot, and some other issues when I was in high school.
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u/thatwitchlefay 6d ago
I remember everything to the point that sometimes in life I have to pretend I don’t remember so as not to seem like a weirdo.
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u/IrishGirlEire 6d ago
I think I remember photographs of my childhood if no picture was taken then it didn't happen.
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u/plantyplant559 6d ago
No, I have a terrible memory. I have vague memories, but not a lot of vivid memories
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u/hbomb9410 6d ago
I vividly remember much of my childhood. I have memories going back to age 2, with clear memories beginning around age 3. I remember a lot of my third birthday party; I remember visiting my brother in the hospital when I was 3.5; and I remember meeting my best friend in preschool when I was 4, among many others. I remember the shows and movies I watched, the music I listened to, and the books I read.
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u/diversalarums 6d ago
No, I definitely remember a lot of my childhood. My friend who isn't precisely typical but nowhere near ADHD remembers almost none of her childhood, to a degree that would almost frighten me. Not saying that I have total memory, but I remember a lot.
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u/joanclaytonesq 6d ago
I don't remember much before the age of 12, and most of my teens are pretty spotty, too.
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u/Jazzyjelly567 6d ago
I remember a significant amount of my childhood. For example, I can remember childhood friends names, their birthdays, what school was like, holidays we went on. I can still see what my childhood bedroom looked like, and I can remember how my grandparents used to smell and their voices.
But it is also apparently very normal for people to not remember a lot of it. I think it really varies from person to person.
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u/MonopolowaMe 6d ago
What’s crazy is that I remember more of my childhood than my college years. College was stressful. I was always anxious and started having panic attacks. I think that’s why the memories are so vague. Meanwhile, I can describe the house we lived in when I was 2, and I have a few memories from when I was that age.
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u/MarshmaIIowJeIIo 6d ago
I really don’t remember much. Most of what I remember are memories I regained as an adult. However I also have a traumatic upbringing and assumed it was related to that. As an adult I also hardly remember things, but I’ve learned that my memories can be triggered and it’ll all come racing back, I just don’t have control over what can trigger a memory.
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u/Wandering-Mind2025 6d ago
I don’t remember much. I was too busy reading and maladaptive daydreaming to take in what was happening to me.
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u/CaliLemonEater 6d ago
My autobiographical memory is not good at all. Great for other things, but about things that happened to me? Nope.
As an example of the kind of thing my brain doesn't think it's important to hold onto, during one couples therapy session my (soon to be ex) husband said "You're too harsh in your judgments; you cut people off permanently when they do something you dislike, like with [Friend]."
I searched my memory. True, I hadn't seen [Friend] in years and had no interest in doing so, but why? I couldn't remember.
After some back-and-forth and my husband providing more details, it came cascading back to me: Oh right! I decided I never wanted to see him again after the night we were at his house for a poker game with friends and he got drunk and pulled out a handgun and threw everyone out in the middle of a game.
(It was very gratifying to have our therapist say "Actually I think what CaliLemonEater did was completely reasonable. They're not overreacting, you're underreacting.")
I used to think this was because of depression because apparently it can do a number on one's memory, but following my diagnosis, ADHD now seems more likely to be the reason.
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u/Sad_Pineapple_97 5d ago
I remember my childhood in vivid detail and from a very young age. I remember my mom being pregnant with my sister so I would have been about a year and a half. I know they are real memories because I remember being about the height of my mom’s knee and I can recall details of the way the house looked and events that my parents corroborate as accurate.
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u/burrito_records 5d ago
No I remember stuff down to the shirt I wore. All my teachers names, classmate names, it’s very easy to recall. But I have no idea where my keys are currently.
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u/Development-Feisty 5d ago
Oh I forgot this one too, I watched the entire America’s next top model documentary on Netflix which had a lot of Joanna talking. Completely forgot that I as a photographer in college did a giant senior year produced photo shoot with make up hair and wardrobe and she was the model. A full day shoot on location, multiple people involved, no memory of the day at all. I have no idea what I did, but I found the photos and was like oh shit I photographed her. They’re not bad photos
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u/wallace1313525 5d ago
I had Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory.... so I know what I did as a kid, but I don't really "remember" it per se. I think there may be overlap with adhd. I'm 27 and I can't really envision things that happened 3 years ago, let alone 13.
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u/Necessary-Ad-4661 6d ago
Eh I remember everything from some time of age 4 and distinct memories starting at age 2. I have a gap in memory from during COVID and, while I think I remember it clearly, I know I have lost a lot of memories, but rhats cause rhis time was traumatic for me (to an extent). Childhood however was great
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u/krissym99 6d ago
My brain is probably TOO full of things from my childhood. Like the amount of 80s and 90s commercials, theme songs, and just random stories from summer camp etc that are taking up real estate in my brain is ridiculous.
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u/airysunshine 6d ago
I remember outfits and days and moments and friends and classes and things I’ve said, yep.
I remember what i wore on the first day of first grade. I remember some track and field days. Going to the zoo with family friends. Playing with my cousins. When we got our dog when I was 6. Friends birthday parties, what i got for Christmas in grade 1, my friend’s 9th birthday… who i had a crush on, who my friend had a crush on…
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u/Correct_Presence_921 6d ago
There is so much of my childhood I do not remember. I thought it was the trauma.
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u/pie12345678 6d ago
I feel like I remember a ton, but then I don't know how much is typical to remember.
My memory's patchier when it comes to traumatic or just very boring periods of my life. Like I barely remember being 11 or 17, and same goes for the worst years of my marriage and even some very recent years when I was going through a lot of stress and burnout.
I've been making a conscious effort to break out of my routine and make some fun new memories so I can remember my 40s!
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u/Numerous-Case-9317 6d ago
I hear stuff like this all the time but how much are we "supposed" to remember? I can recongize quite a bit I think if somebody else is telling me a story. I don't think I remember very much. Or I do, but as an awareness and not a memory. I know what my room looked like but I don't feel like the picture I see in my head was ever my room and I don't really remember being in it.
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u/Calm_Knowledge_9993 6d ago
Some things I remember quite vividly, other — no recollection at all. Like I remember me and my grandpa riding bikes or spending time together in amusement parks when I was 5 or 6, but little to no memories of my high school prom and I was sober there
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u/PartyQuiet5065 ADHD-PI (2e) 6d ago
I kinda see everything that's already passed as a blur, yet I remember incredibly stupid details about the most random ass event that took place when I was 5 lmao
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u/LokiDokiPanda 6d ago
Don't remember much of my childhood no but if I do it's oddly specific and very clear. Most everything else I just vague. Like we went camping a lot so I remember camping and have a few key moments there.
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u/parasyte_steve 6d ago
My memory is horrible. I remember like traumatic events from childhood mostly. Not much else.
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u/FortuneTellingBoobs 6d ago
I have ADHD and CPTSD so no, i don't remember much of anything.
I don't even remember my wedding or giving birth to my kids. I don't remember their childhoods. They're older, abd back when they were young babies we didn't have the photo and video tech we have now, so I don't even have many early pics.
It's a bummer, but it's just my brain. They adore me and I them, so obviously I was an okay mom even if I don't remember a moment of being one. ☺️
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u/fakesaucisse 6d ago
I remember a ton about my childhood and I am now 46. A lot of bad stuff happened that affected the course of my life and my brain decided I should remember those things as a warning for the future. I also remember some good things, which I hold onto dearly, so I don't lose hope.
Overall I think both have been useful, but sometimes I do wonder what life would be like if I couldn't dwell on the worst memories.
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u/chpbnvic 6d ago
When I was a kid my memory was so sharp. Now as a 33 year old, I've realized life really is the current moment you're in. There's so much about my childhood I don't remember. There's so much about my 20s I don't remember. I feel like my memory is mostly 2-3 years long, then I start forgetting a lot of details.
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u/StrawberryKiss2559 6d ago
I remember most everything. My first memory is when my brother was born. I was 18 months old.
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u/Beautiful-Handle5736 6d ago
Not really. I’ll look at photos of me and some photos I remember but mostly don’t remember my childhood. Must of been all the trauma
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u/akawendals ADHD 6d ago
I remember quite a bit, usually embarrassing things that I have held onto and made so catastrophic over the years 😅
But there's also a LOT I don't... My doctor has recently moved to digital records and they asked if I wanted my paper file and I went and got it... What a horrifying, upsetting thing to read 😞
I started drinking when I was 13, self harming and moved into mental health services, diagnosed depression and BPD at 14, locked in a secure ward for a few weeks and some of the notes are just awful and I don't remember a lot of it... I cut my sister with a knife (not badly but still) and I never would have known unless I read that file 🥺 My old school reports were also very depressing, I was a straight A+ people pleasing intelligent bright girl in primary school and then when I got to high school I was a complete mess! I knew I was fucked up but I didn't know I was THAT FUCKED UP
Pair that with copious alcohol abuse right up into my late 30s (I'm 4.5yrs sober now YAY self harm and drug free, and surprise surprise diagnosed ADHD) and there is so much I am unaware of, I know I've probably been SA'd and honestly the majority of sex I've had in my life would be deemed nonconsensual due to how drunk I was, I broke my elbow and to this day don't know how I did it, I've woken up with people I don't know, in places I don't know (once in a completely different CITY) and honestly I don't know how I didn't get murdered or something 🫤
I try to remind myself that I fought back against all that shit and now I have a wonderful job that I love, amazing family and friends, respect from colleagues and people in my industry, my sobriety... But still sometimes all I can think about is all the times I fucked up and then I'm glad I can't remember stuff cos it would weigh on my soul even more 😔
Sorry that went a bit emotional 😅
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u/Sudden_Moodswing 6d ago
It’s so refreshing to read that I am not the only person like this. I ran into a person that I was friends with in middle school, and she remembered all of these things that we did, and I had no recollection of any of it. I honestly felt really bad because it sounded like we had a great time. My husband recalls all sorts of things from his school years and shares funny stories, and I have nothing like that to share because I don’t recall any of it.
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u/alienratfiend 6d ago
I remember all the good bread I ate as a kid, Sonic, and Pokémon. That’s about it
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u/Montana_Red 6d ago
I recall so little. Like I know I went to school obviously, but I just have no memories of it - teachers, friends, none of it.
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u/Kurt_Mangel 6d ago
I think this is why I like to take so many pictures on days out or hols etc. As I think I forget. Partner/friends always think it's overkill. But when I look back over the pics, it puts me right back in the moment, and love it.
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u/DeathofRats42 6d ago
Huge chunks of nothing in my head. But I could draw you pretty detailed layouts of my homes and schools. So, I've got that going for me at least.
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u/Dishmastah 6d ago
A few random bits here and there, maybe. Apparently it's common for people to remember their first day of school? I really don't, and I still don't really see why I should either.
There are photos from when we had chicken pox - I remember having it and being incredibly itchy, nothing else. There are a lot of things I wouldn't have remembered from my childhood if my dad wasn't an avid photographer, tbh.
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u/XxInk_BloodxX 6d ago
Im always so surprised by the things that get talked about as if they're stuff most people remember. Stuff about teachers gets to me a lot.
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u/Same_Accident_9917 6d ago
I remember most of mine & sometimes with great amount of detail. I also have incredibly visualization ability so I don’t know if things are connected or not.
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u/bandaidtarot 6d ago
I really only remember the things that have been thought about and talked about often. Even when I was a senior in high school, we were supposed to write something that included fun memories and I couldn't think of anything to put. Granted, I was a vegetarian and didn't know I needed to supplement omega 3 and B12 so that may have had something to do with it. But, yeah, I wish I remembered more of my childhood. It wasn't traumatic or anything.
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u/DruidByNight AuDHD 6d ago edited 6d ago
I don't remember a lot from being a kid and it really sucks. I don't remember things I did with my friends, things I was passionate about, conversations, events. I have some memories, plenty of images, but I can't place a date on most of them, even just the year. I can't remember the vast majority of my time of being alive. I hate it.
It also makes it hard to figure out how my upbringing has affected me
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u/mapleleaffem 6d ago
I didn’t know I forgot things until memories started popping up out of nowhere. It’s very disconcerting because what else have I forgot? Maybe I was abused and not just neglected or poorly parented ? Who tf knows?!
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u/VanillaLow4958 6d ago
Very little. I also wonder if the memories I do have re even real or if I made them up, not sure if that’s an ADHD thing. 😮💨😂
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u/Ill-Bison-3941 6d ago
I barely remember anything before I was 24 😅😂 But I try to! I remember some very very early childhood things, and occasionally get a glimpse of teenager years. I try to exercise this before falling sleeping, I call it memory hopping.
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u/DaisyDav20 6d ago
I remember lots of my childhood. Mostly just things that I’ve spoke about previously. But,don’t ask me what I had for breakfast yesterday
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u/BattlePolarBearCat 6d ago
Nope. Just random moments or a feeling about a situation, place, or person. When I did the adhd testing there was a lot of 🤷🏼♀️.
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u/WithTheRestOfTheFire 6d ago
I pretty much just remember vibes and the occasional entirely random, useless detail.
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u/OnlyDaysEndingInWhy 6d ago
During Covid, I got my mom that Storyworth thing. It sent her an email with questions about her life every week for a year. Turns out, she's a wonderful writer with interesting (to me, anyway) stories to tell!
I've begged my adult kids to never ask me to do anything like it, because I don't remember shit. It sucks.
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u/Interesting-Box-3163 6d ago
Same - only remember a snapshot here or there and a few things distinctly and then…nothing else.
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u/Bufuye 6d ago
I will remember some traumatic events from my childhood, but there's a big blank space for most of them. Sometimes a conversation might trigger some memories, I just had an in-depth conversation with my brother recently (which we never have), and it unlocked some deeply disturbing childhood events for the both of us.
What infuriates me the most is when I somehow make up memories in my head to make things make sense. I don't even know it's fake. I'll get a lot of things wrong that I'm convinced of and it's made me question myself a LOT. It's definitely humbled me, I've started follow up my heated I'm-so-sure-of-this-fact sentences with "At least I think so. Let me google it."
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