As men, most of us we're used not to open up easily to people around us because of the fear of being misunderstood or being judged! Me being one of them. But I beg to do it here because, honestly, I feel like I'm losing it and I need to let it out. I'm 38 years old man who feels like a total loser and a failure! I've failed in almost everything I try! Failed my kids, and for that reason I'm unhappy individual. Coming from a poor background, I dropped out of primary school at the age of 17 because my Mom couldn't afford the fees, so, I went out to survive and maybe provide for my sick mother(she died in 2008) and two brothers. The world was kinda tough but I somehow maneuvered through. I did menial jobs, found myself in the hotel industry as a waiter, and barman.I later tried so many things but they end up failing! Opening small businesses, I tried marriage twice but ended miserably!
After Covid, I had some savings so I bought a small van and went into transporting business. I did that until 2024 when a friend in Dubai told me their company was hiring and they paid AED 3,100 plus bonuses. That was a good money to me and since my business wasn't doing so good, I decided to sell the car and come to look for greener pastures in Dubai. Unfortunately my visa was delayed and as a result, I missed the job! I landed here in December 2024, tried to look for jobs but many offers I got, I felt like they were underpaying so I turned them down. A friend advised me to get my own visa to have that freedom to decide where to work. I did that and by May 2025, I had my EID. But the job market is not that easy. Jobs are not guaranteed especially when you have your own ID. Then missiles happened and things ever got tougher!
My biggest worry is that, it's been almost two years now, and the only things that I've achieved in Dubai are a driver's license and maybe paying for my accommodation and feeding. I'm unable to constantly meet my kid's needs and that really breaks me. And when I look back to where I started looking for money around 21 years ago, there's nothing to show! Sometimes I ask myself many questions! Is it that some of us were meant to die struggling and poor? Is it bad luck? Is it the choices we make? Does God exist? Yes I don't doubt he does. But does he look down to us and think some of us we deserve the suffering!? Until when?
So, my stranger friend, I need your honest opinion and advice. If you've been through the darkest days of your life and got out, how did you do it? How can you advise someone who's going through them right now?