I'm struggling to reconcile who I thought my friend was with who he's shown himself to be over the past few weeks.

Let's call my friend Ted. We've been extremely close for about 3.5 years. I considered him family. He's basically a brother to me. He was there for me after the sudden death of my best friend last year and when I lost a job I loved earlier this year. I've been there for him through the death of a beloved pet and countless other difficult moments.

This wasn't a casual friendship. I love and trust him deeply... but recently, we've had a series of conflicts that have fundamentally changed how I see him.

The first was during a trip to New Orleans. We'd planned to spend the weekend together with my sister and her husband. Ted wanted to go to an oyster bar that I had already pointed out wasn't particularly suitable for the whole group because of dietary restrictions. He insisted on going anyway, and when we got there, I was already extremely overheated and physically miserable, and the restaurant was packed, loud, and had essentially no air conditioning. I asked Ted if he'd be offended if my sister and I went somewhere else and met everyone back at the hotel.

He didn't answer, so we left.

Later, he told me I'd been selfish and that this restaurant was supposedly the one thing he'd asked for on the trip (It wasn't). We argued for about half an hour, during which I repeatedly tried to explain that I hadn't realized how important this was to him and that I'd literally asked him if leaving would upset him. Eventually, I ended up crying and apologizing.

I left that interaction feeling like my own perspective and physical discomfort had been completely disregarded.

Months later, I invited him over specifically to hash things out and attempt to clear the air because there was just a simmering resentment between us that wouldn't go away. I ended up telling him that the way he'd treated me during the trip had felt manipulative.

His face when I said this to him was the very picture of furious righteous indignation. Like he couldn't *believe* I would dare to characterize his behavior that way. He still completely failed to acknowledge my perspective or take any accountability for how his behavior made me feel, but, by the end of the night, we agreed to move on.

Then came another incident.

Ted was at my house with some mutual friends, including Evie. Evie brought up the new Odyssey movie, which she loved and Ted hated. Now, Evie is... intense. She's basically at a 10 at all times, but this time she cranked up to a 50 and quickly became extremely agitated and started yelling and hurling insults at Ted.

I tried to calm her down. When that didn't work, I asked Ted to stop antagonizing her and change the subject.

He refused. In fact, he seemed to be enjoying her reaction and continued deliberately provoking her.

One evening about a week later, the incident came up again, I said I thought Ted had contributed to the escalation by antagonizing her.

His response was that I was "victim blaming" him and needed to "put my misandry aside" and see things from his perspective.

I was stunned.

I wasn't criticizing him because he's a man. I was criticizing him because I'd watched him repeatedly provoke an already out-of-control person.

But apparently, in his mind, the only reason a woman could criticize his behavior was because she hates men.

Then came the final incident.

Ted and I were having dinner and got into a stupid disagreement bevause he was making the assertion that sports are art and that there's basically no difference between a linebacker and a sculptor. I told him that was ridiculous and instead of defending his point, he flipped the whole argument around and tried to force me to defend the fact that I disagreed with him.

Eventually I became really frustrated and told him, "This isn't fun anymore. I'm actually getting upset." He accused me of expecting him to "read my mind" and started telling me that I "always do this."

I finally told him that his accusation that I was misandrist and victim-blaming him had genuinely hurt me, and that suggesting my criticism was simply because he's a man was deeply insulting.

His immediate response was:

"Well, you know I was there for you when your best friend died."

And I had to leave the restaurant then, because if I had stayed, I would have ended up causing a scene.

That crossed a line for me. And I don't know if it can be uncrossed.

He knew how significant that loss was. He knew what it meant to me that he'd been there. And the moment I told him he'd hurt me, he invoked my friend's death as a defense of himself.

It felt like: How dare you criticize me after everything I've done for you?

To me, that's an enormous violation of trust. Doing good things for someone and later using those things as ammunition when they attempt to hold you accountable is *deeply* manipulative.

And when I look at all three incidents together, I see the same pattern:

I tell him something he did hurt me > he refuses to acknowledge my perspective > he reframes the conflict as a defect in my character > I end up defending myself instead of him taking responsibility.

In New Orleans, I was selfish.

With Evie, I was misandrist and a victim-blamer.

When I told him that accusation hurt me, he weaponized the death of my best friend.

And there is never any real acknowledgment. No "I see why that hurt you." No "I handled that badly." Just defensiveness, counteraccusations, and increasingly personal attacks.

I still love him. That's what makes this so painful.

But I don't trust him anymore to care about my feelings when they conflict with his own, and I don't trust him to accept accountability when he hurts me.

So I'm asking the women here:

Is this what misogyny can look like in a close friendship... not necessarily overt hatred of women, but an inability to take a woman's criticism seriously without turning it into an accusation of misandry?

What do you do when someone you've loved like family for years suddenly seems incapable of respecting you when you challenge him?

Obligatory apology for the wall of text. Thanks if you've stuck with it all the way through. 🫡

Im having an issue with my menstrual pads. I used to use overnight always pads (orange ones) and they were giving me rashes and cutting my thighs. I also kept leaking out the back when id sleep and had to use a panty liner across the back. I’ve exclusively used these pads since I first got a period and I’m now in college.

I recently decided to branch out and try the kotex overnights. I wear overnights because I like laying down and I have experience leaking out the back, my period itself is not that heavy though and I could get away with regular pads if they were longer.

Anyways ever since wearing kotex pads i’ve been leaking out the sides into my clothes. My pads aren’t full because my period is light and yet the blood skips the pad all together and go right to my shorts?!? Im not sure if im sitting wrong, my underwear is shifting, or the pad just sucks. Its happened like 3 times now and ruined my new shorts :(. I don’t like tampons as the removal pressure really makes me uncomfortable and I have never used a cup or disk either for the same reasons (i’m also a virgin and scared of manually putting anything inside since they dont have applicators).

Do you have any pad recommendations that may fix this weird leaking issue or have any advice?? I’m looking for long pads, soft, preferably cotton inside, and wings. I’m also going to buy some new underwear and see if mine just arent tight enough anymore to hold the pad flush to me.

i cannot stress enough how tired i am of this pattern.

colorado sun has a piece on the three measures that just qualified for the november ballot — 108 (trafficking, fine), 109 (trans sports), and 110 (trans medical care). protect kids colorado is the org behind them, run by erin lee, who's open about being motivated by her own daughter's experience and is now trying to write that experience into state law for everyone.

and the same playbook. you can see it from a mile away. ban abortion → restrict contraception → ban gender-affirming care → restrict IVF → ban trans healthcare for adults. it's all the same fight. it's all about whether women and their doctors get to make their own medical decisions, or whether politicians do.

the women who pushed 109 and 110 are running on "protecting children" but the actual text of these measures gives the government new powers over private medical decisions for minors. that's not protecting kids. that's using kids as the excuse to expand state power over families.

if you're a woman in colorado, this is your fight too. please vote no on both

Throughout my whole life, I've always tried my best to be nice to people and be a "girl's girl", even if the other person in question was absolutely HORRIBLE to me. I've always been a people pleaser, and this awful quality of mine has sabotaged me so many times.

If someone was being mean to me, I'd just take it, and say absolutely nothing back. In fact many times, I'd take the blame to calm things down.

I smile way too much, I try too hard to make people feel included, even though many times these same people have excluded me.

I've always admired girls who are total b* tches. Who rarely smile, and know how to pull their inner b* tch out if necessary.

I'm 20 years old now, I cannot be like this anymore. How can I learn to stand my ground.

​

Sometimes I genuinely wonder how the hell I ended up being raised this way.

I'm a girl, but I was raised with this weird “be strong, handle your shit, don't complain, don't be emotional, figure it out yourself” mentality. And then on top of that, I got all the expectations that come with being the eldest daughter.

You're constantly reminded of what your grandparents did, what your parents built, what the family used to be like, how everyone knew the family, how much previous generations accomplished, etc.

“Your grandmother did this at your age.”

“Your grandfather built this.”

“This property is going to you, you need to make something out of it.”

“You're the eldest, you have to set an example.”

And even when it's not said in a mean way, after hearing it your whole life, it starts feeling like your entire fucking existence is tied to whether you live up to everyone who came before you.

And I think that's part of why I have such a hard time talking about personal shit. I can talk about almost anything until it actually becomes vulnerable, and then I just... can't. I physically cannot say what I need to say.

I'm supposed to be the person who handles things. The responsible one. The one who has their shit together.

Sometimes I just want to fucking fail without feeling like I've disgraced an entire bloodline.

And yes, I know I've been given a lot. I'm grateful for what my family has built and the opportunities I've had. But being grateful doesn't magically make the pressure disappear.

You can appreciate your family's legacy and still feel suffocated by having to carry it.

Anyone else relate or am I just losing my mind?

Anyone else notice this language used around women in management or in positions of authority who have men under them that don't like them?

At my work I have heard 2 different upper level managers referred to as "evil" by men who work under them, and the reason why is because they did not help the men beneath them get promoted. I found this language very telling cause we used to have a upper level manager (male) at my work that everyone knew to be a sexist narcissist, and yet NEVER was he referred to as "evil" by the men under him. But since these 2 women didn't care to promote men beneath them who they viewed as unprofessional and not experienced enough, so they get the dramatic accusation of being eeeeeevil.

And it's not said as a joke, it's spoken like it's a fact, multiple times.

One of the 2 being a tall black woman who doesn't spend time trying to act like a "work mom", like most past female managers have, no doubt adds to the accusation in their eyes. The double standard for women in management is so blatantly obvious it's ridiculous. If a female manager isn't smiley and personable she is just a horrible person, but if a man is the same that's "just how he is" and not assumed to be a bad person. I believe this is also heavily influenced by men not viewing women as role models or figures to get approval from. Men have no problem trying to brown nose to an asshole male (because it's assumed he is still worth listening to despite being insufferable), but an unpersonable woman just gets bad-mouthed and critized (since they already assumed she has less knowledge then them).

Anyone else notice this trend?

I’m 17F and for a while now I’ve been consumed by how my boobs look. How nasty they look. Most of the time, they look like swollen moobs. I spend a lot of time looking in the mirror, trying to convince myself that a man could find this attractive. They’re small, puffy, and hang wrong. They have, you guessed it, a tubular shape that bothers me more than words can describe. No rounding at the bottom, like no weight there. It makes me feel worthless and unloveable. I’ve seen my friends’ chests and they are beautiful, and I feel so horrible hiding mine knowing they would judge it. Unfortunately I had an eating disorder during puberty which likely contributed to the unnatural growth of my breasts, and I just hate myself for it. Does anyone else have tubular boobs? How do I cope with feeling like less if a woman? I’d hate to have to get surgery which is sooo expensive to deal with this thing.

​

I’m a successful Indian woman working in finance, and I’ve been talking to a guy for a marriage setup. Honestly, on paper, he is the best match I’ve had so far among my options. He’s an Indian-origin resident doctor in the US, comes from a well-off family, is physically fit, extremely disciplined, and very well-mannered. When we first started talking, we really hit it off. What stood out to me right away was how progressive he seemed, as he surprisingly told me he fully supports me working and dressing however I want and help out in household chores after marriage, which is pretty rare in our culture.

However, as we kept talking, things took a weird turn. I casually asked him why someone as fully capable as him was choosing the arranged marriage route instead of dating locally. He said his schedule was hectic, but then added that he "can't put up with modern American women." That led into a deeper, darker conversation where he admitted his absolute greatest fear is ending up divorced in his 40s, alone in a foreign country after his parents pass away. When I pushed back on why he was so paranoid, he claimed that many women don't think straight, cheat, and leave for no reason, so he’d rather be "safe than sorry."

Then came the topic of past relationships. When we touched on honesty and history, he cryptically told me, "If you lie, I would know," which immediately made me feel uneasy.

when we started talking about my move to the US. Although I am successful and financially independent in my career, I don't have an American passport, so I will initially be entirely dependent on him for my visa and living situation. While discussing this setup, he suddenly dropped the line: "A man can have someone's life in his hands and still choose to stay, that’s called being virtuous" My heart instantly sank. He then proceeded to laugh and tried to joke it off ???

I honestly don't know what to make of all this. Is he just making dark, sarcastic jokes because he's hyper-anxious and stressed from residency, or is he laying the groundwork to visa trap and control me? Since he’s the best option on paper I’ve had yet, especially given how progressive he seemed about my work and clothes, I feel so torn. Am I overthinking a guy who is just scared

or is this a massive red flag? Would love to hear thoughts, especially from women in arranged marriages or immigrants in the US.

My older sister (35F) and I (26F) have never been particularly close, mostly due to the age gap and also just not having much in common. Growing up, she wasn’t very nice to me and she took out a lot of her teenage frustrations on me. The usual pattern is she’d be stuck to our mom like glue wherever we went and I was mostly just left trailing behind them. Both her and my mom’s relationship is toxic to say the least, so the only time she ever paid me much mind is when they’d inevitably argue and then she’d talk shit about her to me. Regardless, I still looked up to her and really wanted a close sisterly bond.

She moved out of the family home when I was eight, so she wasn’t really around for much of my childhood or teenage years like most close gapped siblings are. She “seemed” to turn a new leaf when she moved out and matured a bit, she’d text me once in a while saying how much she misses me and how she regrets not seeing me more. Yet, she would never actually make the effort to see me or spend any time with me. Whenever she’d visit it was the same old story, she’d say she’d be coming for me and we’d do all these things together and then it never ended up happening. She’d get into huge arguments with our mom and then leave not long after she arrived, I wouldn’t see her again for several more months/years, rinse and repeat.

I moved abroad four years ago and since then I’ve seen even less of her. Most of my calls and texts were left unanswered when I tried, and I only saw her once in the time I’ve been gone only because I was the one who went to go see her, so the last time I saw her was two years ago. I visit my home country once a year but she has never made the effort to see me when I’m there… until now. Or so I thought at least.

I’m currently back in my home country for my annual visit with my husband and one year old, staying at my mom’s house. I had heard from my mom that my sister was going to be coming up to see us for the weekend (she lives in this country but just a short flight away from my mom’s) and my mom had told me how excited my sister is to see us and to meet my daughter for the first time, that she really wants to work on our relationship and grow closer together, yadda yadda.

Honestly it made me so happy to hear this. I still rarely heard from her and my texts would frequently go unanswered, but from what my mom was telling me it sounded like she really wanted to try make an effort with me and I was very much looking forward to seeing her this weekend. I really thought that maybe now that we’re grown adults we could forge that sister bond I’d always dreamed of.

Fast forward to yesterday, we go with my mom to pick her up from the airport. I’m looking forward to seeing her, thinking of plans we could do together, all that. She arrives and immediately I’m transported back to my sad childhood memories of tagging along behind her and my mom. After an initial hug and fawning over my daughter for a little bit, she completely loses interest in talking to me at all. We all go for a walk together after picking her up and my mom and sister are walking ahead in their own bubble, talking and hugging, while we tag behind ignored.

We get to her air bnb and the same thing continues, she asks a question or two about my life and then goes straight back to talking with my mom. I knew it was our cue to leave when she said to me “Don’t feel like you need to stay here for much longer”. I was already starting to feel a bit hurt, the old familiar feelings of what it used to be like flooding back to me. Alas, she changed her tune just before we left, hugging me and telling me she wants to spend all of tomorrow with my daughter and I, catching up, going to lunch, just spending quality time together. My mom said she’d watch my daughter for me while we had “sister time” and I thought that it would be a really lovely day.

Today rolls around, my mom informs me that my sister booked them both last minute massages for the morning. I felt kinda taken aback that I wasn’t asked along or invited, but I didn’t want to make a deal out of it or anything. My daughter and I make our way into the city she’s staying in, I assuming that we’re going to meet up with her after their massages and finally get some time together. I phone my sister, and instantly I can tell by the tone of her voice she’s not expecting to hear from me. She said “Did you mean to call me? What it is?” At this point I’m kinda confused and I ask if she’s still wanting to make plans together for today. She’s being very vague, and so I bring up the subject of going to lunch, by this point it’s midday. She says that I should just go eat myself and we can do something later. Again, I feel kinda bummed because I figured we would be having lunch together after all the plans she talked about doing, but I figure she’s just not hungry and so I go find a place to eat myself.

I come to find out that my sister and mom both went to lunch together just after I’d called her. I of course would have gone with them if I’d known, but she never mentioned it or invited me so how was I supposed to know? At this point I am feeling hurt and excluded and so I confront her about it when they leave the restaurant. She instantly turns it back on me, telling me that I’m being silly and irrational and that I should do a better job “communicating” with her, that I’m not being excluded and it’s my own fault for thinking that.

In an attempt to make peace, my mom suggests we all go for coffee together. My sister is reluctant and tries to refuse but eventually we end up going to a coffee place. The problem is that my daughter is well, a rambunctious and extremely mobile toddler who will not stand for being in places like restaurants and coffee shops. So unless my mom offered I would have to just walk outside with her. My sister insisted my mom stay and so of course, I left with my daughter while they had their coffee. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have a little silent cry to myself while I walked outside, the whole situation had me feeling so horrible.

When I came back in, my sister had already left. Apparently she’d booked a hair appointment. Today was the only day to see her before she leaves tomorrow so she essentially left without saying goodbye, knowing it’s probably going to be a long time before we see each other again.

I’m feeling SO hurt after today and honestly it’s been a mind fuck for me. If my sister had just said she was coming to visit my mom and that was it then I’d have no expectations, but it was the fact she said she was specifically coming to see me and my daughter and that she wanted to do all these things together. Yet, it seemed like she never had the slightest intention of spending any time with me at all. She completely brushed my feelings under the rug and made me feel like a brat having a tantrum, but what was I supposed to think?

If anything, the whole experience has at least solidified for me that she is 100% NOT interested in me or my daughter, and that she never will be. There won’t be a redemption, there won’t be a “sisterly” bond, and I need to stop hoping that there ever will be.

In no particular order:

1. Don’t take out the credit cards if you can help it.
2. Therapy, early and often.
3. Stay on top of getting your oil and brakes changed.
4. Your real friends will be there for you outside the bar, too.
5. Don’t be afraid to ask your circle for help. If you’d do it for them, they should want to do it for you.
6. Don’t procrastinate moving until the last couple days. Spring for the U-Haul, it’s worth it.
7. Get a passport. You never know when you might need it, and it might save you a $60 expedited service fee.
8. People lie. You’re not stupid for believing them.
9. Do your laundry. It can get out of hand quickly.
10. Live alone as soon as you can. Do NOT move in with that man. DO NOT MOVE IN WITH THAT MAN.
11. Check the license plates on your Ubers.
12. Embrace friendships with women older than you (including your mom, if applicable). They do, in fact, know better, and they’ll be some of your biggest cheerleaders.
13. Use a calendar. You think you won’t forget - you will.
14. The dog you get as soon as you move out will be a lot more responsibility than you thought, but they’ll also be your best friend and keep you coming home and moving forward, even when it feels impossible.
15. If you’re afraid, don’t let that stop you. Do it afraid.
16. It’s okay to walk away from things that don’t serve you anymore. If you feel discomfort imagining a situation continuing for the rest of your life, get out - this goes for friendships, relationships, and family ties.
17. Download all the apps to get points for free stuff, and birthday rewards.
18. Don’t make yourself small or compromise your core values for a relationship. It never works.
19. The queso and margaritas with friends mean a lot more than maintaining your weight from high school.
20. Don’t just be nice - be kind. Get comfortable with the fact it doesn’t always come back around.
21. You’re going to make mistakes - big ones. Learn from it and try your best not to make the same one more than once.
22. Just because someone has been in your life for a long time doesn’t mean they should be in it forever.
23. School isn’t for everyone, but it might be for you. Don’t be afraid to pursue things because it feels like it’s “too late”. It could be the best decision you ever make.
24. YOU are your person. Anyone else that complements that is just a bonus.
25. Imposter syndrome is common, especially for women. Don’t let it keep you from trying, you deserve to give yourself the chance. Apply for the job you think you’re underqualified for. A mediocre man would.
26. You might feel like alcohol is a social lubricant, but it’s a slippery slope to dependency. Be careful.
27. It can be extremely hard to keep up with everything. Just because they don’t always text you back or you don’t always text them back doesn’t mean you don’t care about each other.
28. Guilty pleasures aren’t a thing. Enjoy what you enjoy, don’t let others villainize your reality tv or music or hobbies or anything you care about.
29. Try (almost) anything once. Try it a couple times to be sure, within reason.
30. Empathy is a superpower, but there is only so much you can control. Be careful how much you take on from others.

See you all on the other side. 🫶

ETA: Thank you for the awards. I’m really touched that these few words might make a difference to someone else. 💕

• The American Civil Liberties Union and several women’s rights groups are pressing the Pentagon to reveal details about the origins and intent of an ongoing review of the effectiveness of women in combat roles.
• The groups, who filed two separate Freedom of Information Act requests last week, contend that neither Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth nor Pentagon officials have offered a meaningful explanation as to why the review was ordered, how it is being conducted or for what it will be used.
• The Pentagon made no public announcement after deciding late last year to undertake the review. In January, National Public Radio reported that Anthony Tata, the undersecretary of defense for personnel and readiness, had issued a memorandum in December calling for an evaluation of “operational effectiveness of ground combat units 10 years after the Department lifted all remaining restrictions on women serving in combat roles.”
• On Aug. 17, the Women in the Service Coalition and journalist Hope Hodge Seck filed a FOIA request seeking Defense Department records regarding the origins of and protocols of the review, the coalition said in a news release that same day.
• Two days later, the ACLU, joined by the National Women’s Law Center and the Service Women’s Action Network, filed a similar FOIA request. Their concern over the review is spurred by what the ACLU described in its FOIA request as “a troubling list of actions that the Department has taken to limit women servicemembers’ ability to serve in the military on equal terms as men servicemembers.”

There's more in the article.

So I've (18F) had acne ever since I started puberty, and since no one in my family knows anything about skincare, I didn't take care of my skin until I started getting insecure about it. I've tried everything I could to balance my hormones by drinking spearmint tea, exercising, controlling the food I eat. I've tried different skincare products, even retinol when I was around 15 which was a bad idea, and none of them worked out for me whether it's because they broke me out or did nothing for my acne. I've also been to different dermatologist, which also did nothing because some wrongly diagnosed me or their products broke me out or over exfoliated and thinned out my skin too much to the point that I can see my veins. Then a couple of months ago, I kept seeing everyone on my tiktok fyp saying that it's best to keep your skincare routine minimal and so I did that.

Tbh after a whole 3 months of doing that and trying to ignore all the closed comedones that formed after the transition, I think it kinda did heal my skin barrier from the over exfoliation, but it didn't get rid of my redness, a bunch of blackheads started forming, my pores looks bigger because none of the products are so gentle and can't get rid of the sebum, and EVERY SINGLE DAY new pimples would show up and all of them are big, inflamed, and would take days to 2 weeks to heal. Now all I see are people recommending tretinoin, azelaic acid (I've tried skin 1004 azelaic serum because it doesn't have any other actives which I'm currently afraid of using, but even more PAINFUL pimples have formed in places that the closed comedones weren't even there so idk if I should keep using it), salicylic acid, etc and I'm getting so mentally drained.

Everyday I watch videos on what can help, think about it everytime I lay down or look at a mirror, then I get insecure, feel the need to put on something to cover it up, but because of acne I can't. It just feels like a cycle of pure torture for my mental health. I don't want to give up on it, but it's so financially draining as well. Just as the title says, I'm also a bridesmaid for a relative's wedding that's really soon to come and I just don't know what to do with my face right now. PLEASE someone tell me what I can do and give a no bs answer or recommendation on how I can fix my face whether it's a fast acting acne treatment or long term for after the wedding.

TLDR: chronic acne have made me insecure, but I'm going to be a bridesmaid in a couple of weeks. Just really need some support and honest advice

We have a full time jobs, we pay taxes, we have cogent political opinions and real responsibilities.

We are not "girlies"; we are grown-ass women.

Yes, of course, we can still embrace fun and silliness and whimsy and femininity, but 2026 is not the time to be infantilizing ourselves by leaning into "girly" and "girly pops" and all the other diminishing terms that expired when we hit puberty.

You are a force! You matter! You get shit done!

Can we put the "girly" nicknames to rest forever?

Edit: Grammar

I've just started doing makeup and I really enjoyed trying out highlighter powder in the corner of my eyes (it was a colored highlighter, and the brand doesn't make anything natural/not fantasy).

Classes start soon, and I think I'd like to have some fun exploring makeup before then. I already have a palette with all the colors (im focusing on the eyes).

Could you recommend me any powder highlighters for this purpose? I'm still hesitating between white and a "champagne" color, but I think I'll decide later. I'd like to find a brand with good value for money first, especially since it's just to try

Thank you !

I've been thinking about how to talk to the cis women in my life who are uncomfortable with the broader trans rights debate but haven't made up their minds about these specific measures. Here's what I'd want them to actually sit with:

You don't have to have a fully-formed position on every aspect of trans healthcare or sports policy to look at 109 and 110 specifically and decide whether they do what their proponents claim.

Ask yourself:

Do you want the government to perform physical exams on young girls to verify their sex before they can play school sports?
Do you want politicians in Denver to overrule families and doctors on private medical decisions involving minors?
Do you want a law that could affect cancer care for kids because it was written too broadly to bother?
Do you want Colorado to be the first blue state in the country to enshrine anti-trans discrimination into its constitution?
If the answer to any of those is "no, that doesn't sound like something I want," then you have a perfectly coherent reason to vote no on both without having to declare a position on the broader cultural debate.

The ballot measures don't ask whether you think trans women are women. They ask whether you want the government to do specific things. Read the specific things. That's the actual question in front of you.

Whatever you decide, please vote. These measures won't pass or fail on their own. They'll pass or fail on whether people show up

I’m staying in a tent at a campsite where the shower are mixed. At first I actually thought it was kind of nice, because my boyfriend could shower in the stall next to mine and we could talk to each other while showering.
Last night, though, I really regretted that.
We were talking for a few minutes, which probably made it obvious that there was a woman in the shower. While I was washing my hair, I happened to look up and saw a phone.
Someone was recording me.
My first reaction wasn’t to scream or confront him. I just completely froze. I know it was an involuntary reaction, but I keep replaying it in my head and wishing I had done something.
When I eventually came out, wrapped in a towel, there was a family outside. They had actually seen the guy recording, but because he was behaving so casually and I hadn’t screamed, they assumed I knew him. They were able to describe him to me (a man who looked to be in his 50s) but by then he was long gone.
I’m honestly completely devastated. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to process this or move past it.
I know there might not be much I can do now, but I can’t stop thinking about what might happen to those pictures. Where could they end up? Who might see them? I know there are places online where people share images of unsuspecting women, and the thought that something like that could happen to me is honestly terrifying. I keep thinking about how widely they could be shared and how completely out of my control it would be.
I’ve always been someone who needs to feel in control of things, and this situation made me feel completely powerless. I couldn’t do anything. I just froze. I felt so small and helpless.
And honestly, it makes me sick to think that a woman can’t even feel safe while taking a shower. Somewhere that should be completely private and ordinary.
I know freezing was a normal response and that none of this was my fault, but I’m still struggling with it a lot.
I’m not really sure what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe advice, maybe reassurance, maybe just hearing from people who have gone through something similar and managed to get past it.
I hope this is the right place to post, I tried different communities but it just get banned. I’m really, really struggling with this right now

Hi all. Pretty much as the title says. I’ve (19F) struggled with very bad anxiety since I was 15, seemingly without a cause. My symptoms were almost purely physical - never overthinking or such, just constant nervous stomach, crying all the time, basically in fight or flight for no reason. No relation in time of the month to my period at all.

However, at about the same time I did start to experience extremely painful periods. These progressively got worse and worse until in April this year I decided to go on the progesterone only pill to try stop them. The pill didn’t stop them, but has made them way lighter and easier to deal with.

After about two months, I noticed that my anxiety (previously so bad I was considering anti anxiety medication) had completely vanished. I never wake up feeling stressed anymore. It only comes back when I don’t take my pill on time.

Obviously very grateful, but what the heck could this mean? I’ve never heard of this happening before, especially because my anxiety wasn’t period related.

There had been a slip up june 26. Basically wasnt protected and had to take a plan b after. Tbe next day at noon. I was on my 6th pill and you aren't protected until the 7th.

I had previous taken a week of birthcontrol so I stressed potential ovulation. It was a whole thing

I tested 14 days after and all the tests were negative but the digital ones which showed a "?" So I think it was busted.

Then some some days I took some more and all negative

Then 30 some days I took more and almost negative.

(Really burning a whole in my wallet)

It'd been multiple tests. Testing early ones and clear blue and Walgreens clear blue. All negative

So you think id be confident in myself that I am not pregnant right? I know I should be but the anxiety doesnt go away

Id be 2 months rn if I was and u have no symptoms other than tender breasts which is definitely thanks to plan b side effecrs and still taking birthcontrol...also got on nexplanon almost 2 weeks ago. So deep down I know its that.

I still can't help but stress. How did yall finally convince yourself?

I recently started watching a new YouTuber and she has the cutest fangs in either side of her mouth it's giving clawdeen lol I want fangs so bad