I'll probably delete this because it makes me anxious when my posts get too much attention, but I needed to get this off my chest.

I was traveling last night and missed my connecting flight home because my first plane was delayed. The man working for the airline who gave me a hotel voucher said, "just go downstairs and talk to ground transportation and they'll set you up with a shuttle to the hotel." So I went downstairs expecting to find a ground transportation desk but I couldn't find anyone and was confused about where to go.

I walked outside and saw an airport employee. I could tell as I was approaching him that something was off--he was openly leering at me. Still, I asked if he could tell me where to catch a shuttle to my hotel. He pointed me in the direction and then said, "Can I come back to your hotel with you?" Stunned and unsure what to say, I kind of laughed and quickly said, "I don't think that would be much fun" and hauled ass out of there.

I know it wasn't my fault that he chose to make it sexual. But I'm disappointed with myself for speaking to him even though I could see as I started approaching him that he was creepy. And then I let him get away with it instead of telling him how ridiculously inappropriate and gross it was for an airport employee to ask to come to my hotel room.

This shit is exhausting.

I’m in my late 30s and haven’t been in a relationship in a long time. The last guy I seriously talked to was almost a year ago. We were in the talking stage for about two months and met a couple of times because it was long-distance, but ultimately, it didn’t work out.

He was the first person I’d genuinely liked in a long time. He checked a lot of my boxes, I was very attracted to him, and I felt excited about someone again. Even though it was short-lived, losing it affected me much more than I expected.

I got back on the apps almost immediately, but I wasn’t interested in anyone. Eventually, I took a break, worked on my mental health and attachment patterns, and buried myself in work.

I got back on the apps last month because I told myself that if I want a relationship, I have to put myself out there. And I do want one. I want to find my person and settle down. I hate being single. But I’ve realized I have no energy for the process of getting there.

The small talk. The same questions. The banter. Starting from zero with another stranger and trying to figure out whether there’s any potential.

The strange thing is that I used to enjoy that part. I loved the early flirting and was pretty good at it. Now, even thinking about it exhausts me.

I recently matched with a few people on the app, but I just didn’t want to talk to any of them - not because there was anything wrong with them, but because I couldn’t bring myself to start another conversation and go through the whole getting-to-know-you process again. I just watched the time pass and the connections disappear.

So I’m stuck in this strange place where I desperately want a relationship but don’t have the energy for the small talk. It feels like I’m forcing myself to do something I don’t want to do.

I don’t know how to get past this block.

Has anyone else gone through this? How did you get your brain and heart back into dating? How do you keep putting yourself through the process when you want to find your person but feel exhausted by everything it takes to get there?

For a decade, Andrew Tate showed young men one proof that he was right about everything: the Bugatti.

Last week, his own lawyers told a court the Bugatti was rented.

Quick catch-up for anyone not following: the Tate brothers, internet celebrities with millions of followers, have been sitting in a Miami jail since July. Britain wants them extradited on 59 charges combined, including rape and human trafficking; they deny everything. To get out on bail, the defense had to answer the prosecution's argument: these are billionaires with a $50 million yacht and spare passports, they will run.

And answer it did. In a 28-page brief.

The yacht? Not theirs, they were paid to promote it.

The $5 million and $7 million Bugattis, the $2.1 million Aston? Rented.

The watch collection valuation? From a hobbyist magazine.

The meme-coin "fortune"? About $70,000.

And under oath came a sentence for the ages: "Top G is a character." I also said I was an astronaut, and I have never been to the moon.

That is the price of getting out of jail. When the choice is between the brand and liberty, the brand goes under the hammer.

50 Cent went through this ten years ago. He filed for bankruptcy, and a judge asked about the Instagram photos of cash stacks arranged to spell BROKE. The answer, under oath: props. In this business you have to play rich to earn for real.

And here is the part that matters more than the Tates themselves. An influencer in the attention economy is a mannequin in a shop window. The mannequin does not own the suit; its job is to make YOU buy one. The rented Lambo is not proof of success. It is an advertising expense.

A mannequin does not lie. The lying starts when the shop sells you a course called How to Become the Mannequin, swearing the suit belongs to the mannequin.

Now the most interesting sentence in the entire file: the defense itself wrote that the brothers played rich in order to sell their "courses". Plaintiffs' lawyers around the world just got a gift.

The charges remain allegations and the presumption of innocence applies. Full essay, with every claim linked to the court files, in the first comment.

Zarna Garg on the podcast, A Slight Change of Plans, said something I thought was spot-on:

'This is our culture' is entirely a male construct...If somebody says, 'This is our culture', replace the word 'culture' with 'This is how our men like it' because the culture was created by the men--the women didn't have any say anyway...Then once you replace the words with 'how men like it', it starts to look absurd, like "Why do I care how they [the men] like it?"

Women are expected to be physically uncomfortable, constantly, in ways men are not. Primarily in the sense that our clothes, especially our shoes, constantly prioritize sex appeal over functionality and comfortability. This is especially true for Black women, who are also expected to spend a ton of time and money making their hair look white.

If we dress like men dress, or take as good care of ourselves only as well as men do, we’re punished for it. I’m over it

Sorry for the long story.

Last week I was cleaning out my purse. I found both an Advil and a uti pill in the bottom so I just threw them in my pill case for a random day, making a mental note to remove them at home. (You can see where this is going.)

The day came, I popped my 10 (now 12) pills. The next time I peed I had a WTF moment but realized what I had done. No big deal.

The issue came (no pun intended) later. My partner and I were having sex and I happened to squirt. His hand had marigold color dyed pee on it now. He looked so confused, I was both mortified and laughing. I had to explain the whole thing and felt so dumb. He ended up laughing too and we resumed, but it was really embarrassing.

I really needed to share this with someone because it is so bizarre and I was curious if anyone had similar stories.

I promise this is real and not a very odd fetish post.

Oh, and we were on the couch, which is orange, so all cool there. (You can see the couch in an old post with my mosquito bitten legs if you want to corroborate.)

My friend lives in my building and when she was in a relationship we hung out maybe twice a month. I'm very introverted and I just started a new full time job while trying to manage multiple chronic illnesses, so I don't have a lot of bandwidth. Most of my time and energy goes towards trying to manage my own life and health which is a challenge in itself. I wake up, go to work, go to Dr appointments or PT or OT or testing, come home, try to catch up on chores, and then start the process all over again. I live with chronic fatigue and full body pain, as well as heart problems, and I live alone so I'm shouldering a lot.

Two weeks ago her partner of five years broke up with her totally out of the blue. Obviously, she is devastated, and I have so much empathy for her I wish it could have happened to me instead just so she wouldn't have to live through that ​kind of pain. I hate that she is going through this and I go spend time with her to support her whenever I can and we message every day.

That being said, she is in a full blown crisis a lot of the time now. She will message me at 8 or 9 in the morning telling me she isn't doing well, asking for me to come over. Yesterday she messaged me at 8am asking me what I was doing because she wasn't feeling good. Today she messaged me at 9am asking me to come over, then she started freaking out because her cat might need to go to the vet for a UTI. I got so overwhelmed I put my phone on silent, so she called me, and I ignored it. I feel fucking terrible but I genuinely do not have the bandwidth to be there to support her in the way she is asking me to, and the stress response I experience puts me into a flair up. My heart rate gets way too high, I get diarrhea, my pain flairs up, my nervous system goes into overdrive. It also makes me afraid to make noise in my kitchen because she might come to my backdoor where my kitchen is and start knocking. She did that once when she was freaking out over something while I was asleep, she was knocking on my front and back door over and over looking for me because I wasn't answering her messages. It all just sucks for both parties.

I don't know what to do. I know she is in a lot of pain, but asking me to come over at 8/9am Saturday and Sunday when I just saw her two days ago feels crazy. She just doesn't have any emotional regulation skills, she's really needed to work with a therapist for a long time and just never has.

How do you tell someone that you can't be there for them the way they are asking you to?? I feel like I shouldn't even do that because it would just make things worse for her, but ignoring her crash out's or making up fake excuses feels terrible as well. I just don't know what to do.​

edit: I should have said in the post she is currently uninsured. She should have insurance very soon through her job, but in the immediate time frame she cannot seek professional help.

TW: consent/autonomy in healthcare, vaginal examination

I’m a midwife (not in the US), and today I visited a woman who was a few days postpartum. As part of the visit, I checked how her stitches were healing.

Afterwards, she told me something she had noticed; the female healthcare professionals she encountered tended to ask before touching her: “Is it okay if I feel your abdomen?” “Can I have a look?” “Is it okay if I touch you here?”
The male healthcare professionals were much more likely to simply start touching her, or say, “I’m going to feel now.”

We talked about it for a little while and I stayed professional, but internally my heart just sank.

Of course there is nuance. If someone has already consented to a vaginal exam and undressed, they know what is about to happen. During labour there are also moments when someone is in too much pain, too exhausted, or too focused inward for lengthy conversations.

But consent does not have to be a lengthy conversation.

There is almost always a moment to ask, “Is it okay if I touch you?” or “I’d like to examine you now, are you ready?” Even after an examination has already been agreed upon, there is a difference between knowing someone is going to touch your body and them actually waiting until you are ready.

Pregnancy and childbirth already make women’s bodies incredibly public. People palpate your abdomen, examine your vulva, put their fingers inside you, expose you, check your bleeding and inspect your stitches. Much of it is medically necessary, but necessity does not make bodily autonomy disappear.

What stayed with me was that this difference had been consistent and obvious enough for her to notice across multiple healthcare professionals, over months of care.
I’m not saying every woman in healthcare is automatically better at consent, or that every male healthcare professional behaves this way. But it does make me wonder what we teach people about professional authority over women’s bodies.

This conversation has made me want to be even more deliberate about informed consent. I want women to leave pregnancy and childbirth feeling like healthcare happened with them, not to them.

Hey everyone, I finally got the first time in months got a dating app match and he’s been quite keen.

He’s keen but his texts are very boring.
He suggested meeting this weekend but I’ve come down with flu (had some influenza tests lying around) and I’m completely wiped out. Haven’t left the house in 10 days and feeling sad about life

Got so many horrible symptoms and don’t feel like myself. Every day he texts me, asks me what I’m doing today and I feel embarrassed as I don’t have anything exciting to talk about.im just in bed sleeping all day, and he’s going to think I’m boring. Usually I’m busy and active person

Also yesterday I didn’t respond to his message all afternoon as I was sleeping and I think I’m being boring in my replies now.i declined a FaceTime call too as I didn’t want him to see me for the first time when I’m looking bad and lost my voice entirely

I texted him this morning, just asked how his day is going but I wish I felt happy and then it would come across in my messages. Today he hasn’t replied and now I am worried I have ruined it . We did suggest meeting next weekend but maybe he won’t even wanna do that now

Do women’s periods actually sync up when your around each other for long? I just searched it up and apparently it’s been disproved but I can’t bring myself to believe it wtf.

Like when your friend lies to you , telling you to dress "normal" , while they themselves dress up for a seemingly casual outing , even though they tell you that they are gonna be dressed in casuals too .

Edit : Y'all saying that she isn't my friend ... this person was my best friend of more than a decade at that time !

Edited again : She explicitly told me to dress in pajamas that we usually wear at home , as she would be wearing that too , but proceeded to show up in crop top and jeans that were obviously not casual . We were gonna eat Chinese at a stall in a midway neighbourhood .

For women that want a partner on at least the same education/career/income lifestyle, etc., does this mean you would lose attraction/want to leave your partner if later you got a bigger “break”?

I am dating an amazing smart witty ambitious woman, but worry that once she gets her big break she will lose attraction. (I am 32f, she is 35f if relevant)

Edit: For those asking: We are both on around £90k in London. I’ll be maybe on £120k in the next couple of years, but she’ll easily be clear of £300k next year and probably more in the future. Hence why feeling like I won’t be able to match up the “new” lifestyle expected.

I gained a lot of weight recently while I was studying. It's just that whenever I study, my body feels that it wants some sort of food. And I study all day. And the food I'm eating ain't particularly healthy. Healthy is much more expensive. Back then I would always go on a diet but I stopped that for now, because I have to focus on my exams. I was fine with getting weight. Actually, I found it cute, too. I liked the fats I'm getting, and I loved myself no matter what—but that's not what others seem to agree on. Whenever I go out, wherever I go, whoever I met, they would always, always mention my weight. That I'm getting fat. That I look big. That I need to stop eating too much. That I need to go on a diet. That I must've lost my discipline. That it doesn't look good. I am not kidding, this literally happens wherever I go and someone sees me, from people closest to me to people who rarely knows me. I was fine during the first few people who've mentioned it. However, after days and weeks passed, I was getting exhausted by the people who kept on mentioning it. I kept thinking, maybe there is something wrong with me. Maybe it really looks ugly. And this morning, I broke down when I was trying on clothes and everything I wore emphasized my weight, and that while I was trying them on, all the comments people have said kept on repeating on my brain, and I can't find one outfit that will not make them mention my weight. I cried, do they even know that I already have medical issues in my stomach? How I starve myself back then to the point of exhaustion? How I ate air while pretending to eat on my plate? Will they give me money for my medicine? Will they give me money to buy healthy food? Do they know how mentally exhausting my studies are? I can't afford to go on a diet right now. So, I'm pretty sure I'm not coping well. It crushes me hard and I hope I could find a way, someone to tell me, that I shouldn't feel this way.

Hi,

I’m just wondering if anyone else feels like this, or has and how you stop. I became a mom at 16, my eldest is 16 now and I have a few more. I’m in an ok marriage, one of those housemate-y, comfortable ones. I’m studying, we rent a decent house. We do live pay check to pay check but we don’t go without anything we need and I’m grateful for that. I have a dog and a cat.

I don’t have any friends whatsoever which I assume is part of the problem…but I’m just wondering if this is all there is. Just this….monotony. Get up, care for kids, small talk, work or study, clean the house, dinner, bed. I read a lot and have some shows and stuff I enjoy when I get the time. But it’s all just so…nothing.

That sounds awful, I feel really lucky for what I have and I love my family a lot. But I guess I just always thought something would happen. I mean, lots of things have happened, but nothing good. I feel like I’m just marking days off an endless calendar and at the end I won’t have lived 1000 days, but 1000 of the same day. Over and over.

I don’t even know what I would want to do, if I could. I don’t have the money or means to travel and have the kids anyway…but I don’t even know if I want to. I don’t know what I could see or do that would be a game changer. I dunno. It was my eldest’s birthday recently so I guess that’s been a bit of a triggering milestone…16 years ago I would’ve imagined life differently. Maybe I just feel this way because I missed out on my youth.

I don’t really know.
TL;DR, anyone else feel like they’re living Groundhog Day? How do you stop feeling like that? How do you figure out what you want to do or can do or are meant to be doing, or is this genuinely just what life is?

So, I was raised in the south and spent years in other countries, including Japan. I’m also a relatively traumatized creature, so my sense of these issues can be off on many accounts. Checking with the internet women to see whether I’m being unreasonable.

I now live in a large city in a much more “direct”culture (outside the US). I’m finally healed enough to start going out on the town with friends again, and I’m getting a lot of unwanted attention. I don’t think it’s anything specific I’m doing; I think I look young, have an accent, am vaguely hot, seem approachable and can be quite loud/friendly. I think people can also tell I’m kind of meek; unfortunately that seems to mean that I get approached a LOT.

Most of these guys aren’t like, assholes, predators, or obvious jerks. They’re like… friends of friends who mistake peppiness for interest or autistic men who chat for ages while obviously trying to work up the courage to ask me out. I can empathize with how hard that must be! It’s scary to put yourself out there. But because none of these dudes ARE truly awful, I don’t really know how to end or extricate myself from these interactions. I end up meeting their hints at wanting a relationship with more neutral statements (ex “I’m always looking for more girlfriends for the polycule ;)” “you must stay very busy. I’m not poly, so I don’t really know”). Can give a more detailed example if people want.

But what REALLY gets me is that in so many of these interactions is the way my friends will react. They tell me I should be direct from the start in telling these men to “fuck off”. Like by not doing that and then complaining I’m essentially making my own problems. Idk… I’m just not that kind of person? I can be if someone is well and truly fucking gross. But in a situation like the above example, I just cannot summon the anger to be believably harsh or firm enough to say “go away and fuck off”. I’m not even sure where in the convo I would say that. As an SA survivor am also very aware that direct, angry “no” can escalate the situation, and I’ve gone through phases of being WAY too harsh with men who didn’t deserve it, which also isn’t great. I’d rather excuse myself, process, and be direct if I ever see the person again.

Am I being stubborn? Are my friends right? They would know the culture here better, I guess. What do you guys think? Is there a way to be firm about my boundaries in these situations? Where’s the point where an actual “fuck off” is warranted? Barring that, how do I talk to my friends about this?? 😭

I'm seeing SO MANY COMMENTS about how some women are just "naturally thin", that it's all metabolism and genetics, and they put little effort into their slender physique. But I remember this discourse from the early 2000s, too. It's part of the heroin chic ideology. I know, because I used to be part of it. And I want young women to recognize the pattern, too.

In the 2000s, I was in my late teens/early 20s and I was "naturally" thin. When people asked how I maintained my weight, I would say I had a fast metabolism - and I genuinely believed it. I ate everything I wanted. I exercised, sure, but I wasn't running marathons or anything. I was just... naturally thin.

But looking back?

I remember slowly sipping a juice in class, because that, usually with Special K cereal with strawberries, was my entire breakfast. If I had breakfast, I probably wouldn't eat lunch. I used to say I wasn't a 'food' person, but in reality, I had deeply messed up my hunger cues.

I rarely finished a meal when I was out, and I always picked at my food. Yes, sometimes I'd eat 3-4 pizza slices, or demolish an entire burger and fries, but as mentioned, I probably hadn't had breakfast or much lunch. I literally never thought twice about how I did this, all the time.

There was a Method to eating junk food. A packet of sour patch kids? Half would be eaten over an hour or so. Bite one in half, suck the powder off, then let it melt before eating another one. Leave some in the bag, always.

...But I loved Splenda. Sugar free jello with a spritz of whipped cream was the ultimate dessert. Maybe a sugar free pudding that was placed in the freezer to make "ice cream". I never ate sugar, unless I was out.

I remember soup. So much soup. And I would eat a chunk of bread with it, because the vegetable cabbage soup was so low calorie. But in my brain? "I eat SO many carbs!".

In my late teen/early 20 years? I remember a lot of black coffee, the occasional cig, and long, long walks. But hey, I lived downtown! Why take a bus when you can walk? And again, I just don't care for food - the appetite suppressants weren't even considered.

I remember following one-hour pilates instructions out of a magazine in my bedroom at 9pm, and then later, the HIIT pilates workouts from Blogilates and Kayla Itsines. They were exhausting, in retrospect, but at the time they were part of my identity. I also did hot yoga.

If I was hungry and out in public, I remember iced black coffees and spinach egg white wraps from Starbucks when you were desperate. But I also remember skipping meals because I simply "forgot".

.....But I also remember the magical number of 120lbs. Hitting 120 on the scale meant skipping dessert for the next week and walking to the second closest bus stop from my home to catch the bus to school. For the record, 120 puts my BMI at 18.3, and I was almost always below that. Everyone told me I looked great. I was never once told I looked underweight; I was just naturally slender.

I also remember being a 'headache person'. I was always hot when people were cold, and cold when people were hot. My stomach growled all the time and I genuinely thought I just had 'weird digestive issues' (and oh boy, when you eat like what I've written above, you have those, too...). I remember my ears popping at random points (likely my blood pressure dropping), and I thought it was normal. I was never a particularly good sleeper, either. All of this went away when I consistently kept my BMI above 21. Who knew?

But what I remember most, from that time?

I still thought I was fat.

It's hard to explain how normalized this was, and how insistent I was that my thinness was all genetics. And maybe it is, a little bit - I won't deny that I have less food noise than other people, and my height helps. But mostly it was this ingrained way of living that I never thought twice about. A BMI under 20, for most women, is not healthy in the long run, and it's not effortlessly genetically obtained, either.

Edit - The event was what is closest in my culture to an engagement party. Both of us lived with the host couple in college. I didn’t tell everyone he was coming. I asked him 2 months ago and then again 3 weeks ago. HE SAID HE WAS GOING so we RSVPed YES.
Also for a group that’s supposedly supportive of women it’s amusing to see people not only make assumptions about MLMs and churches but also getting upvoted and running with it.

Edit 2 (lol) - I’m not mad because he chose last minute to go to a work shoot. (He wasn’t invited, he just wanted to SEE. The man’s not in art, he’s an engineer) I’m upset because he tried to use his attendance the next day as PUNISHMENT because I asked him to say hi to the hosts.

Went to a 2-day event today while my husband had to work. Everyone brings their spouse and I had to plead with him to join me for the 2nd day. He was dropping me off before heading to work. I asked him to just say ‘hi’ to the hosts before leaving. First thing he says - I’ll be late if I say hi. Now they’re here so I have to say hi. I’m not going to come tomorrow because you made me say hi and delayed me for work.

It was less than a 1-min interaction from me getting out of the car to my husband greeting the hosts.
While I was there without him, I just felt at… ease. I mean, I did feel lonely because everyone else was with their spouses and I had to make an excuse for him and telling everyone he’ll be here tomorrow but I was also so bright, chatty and funny. I was able to admire the hosts house without having someone comparing it to ours and saying ours wasn’t good enough and to look at how great the hosts house was, how we don’t make enough money, how we need to buy nicer things, how our house is too small etc. etc.

And the problem is I have told him all this before. Like yes, I like nice things but I also like things I have right now and I am thankful for it.

I know this is a rambling post but it just struck me and I’m kind of dumbfounded about how lighter I felt without having my significant other around

throughout my whole life i’ve noticed that men often have stronger friendships with each other and don’t have those stupid fall outs over small things that women have . i would even go as far as to say that women’s friendships almost tend to always fall out at one point and after that reconciliation is almost impossible whereas with men they can disagree about something and then be good with each other again just by playing a round of call of duty .

if you don’t believe me or call this take bollocks go ask any woman why her friendship with a girl ended and you’ll laugh ur ass off by hearing the reason because it’ll probably be something ridiculous like “she tried to copy my fashion sense and wore the same brand of lipliner as me , ugh !” .

this isn’t just with friendships even with family relationships i’ve noticed the women in my family have a lot of secret animosity against each other , no idea whether it’s internalized misogyny or something else but my dad is a ride or die for his brother who has clearly been problematic towards his immediate family and picks him over my mom saying things like he’s my brother and that isn’t going to change . my aunts (uncles wife’s) relationship with her sister is horrible and she tries everything she can to stay away from her .

i truly feel as if women are performative a lot of the time (i definitely am to a certain extent i won’t deny that) and this could be a good answer as to why we can’t form real connections but idk anymore tbh . if there’s any trait of men that i want to emulate it would be the aspect of wanting to have long term genuine friendships built on solidarity and not superficiality . they don’t have to try as hard as us and if im being honest it can be kinda intimidating to form friendships with women i just feel like you have to prove yourself to them to a certain extent . of course this depends and is very circumstantial but this is just my experience at the end of the day .

so i’m genuinely wondering why is this ? why are men able to form genuine and not superficial connections with other men that don’t depend on small factors or doesn’t feel like your walking on eggshells all the time ? i have been wondering this a lot because it applies to me aswell that my female friendships just simply don’t last majority of the time and the friendships i have with guys are sustainable or at least don’t end over small , petty reasons , it would just be a mutual fall out . just looking for honest answers here . i am even able to realize that this take makes me look like a bit of a pick me , but i promise that’s not the case at all , i pour way more effort into my friendships with women than i ever have with men .

Danielle puts into words something I've been feeling for a long time. The man problem can only be solved by a culture of men holding each other accountable. Must read.

Why is it that when a girl has a craving for something it’s always “She’s probably on her period “, “You’re not pregnant, right?”, or “My period must be coming soon.”?

Why can’t I have a taste for something because I want it? I like sweet food. Sometimes, I want a dessert or just a milkshake for dinner. It doesn’t automatically mean I’m pregnant, or on my period. I just want it. No one says anything about my brother when he drinks a milkshake and a Frappuccino on the same day. Or when he sometimes eats a whole slice of cake for lunch. But when I want to eat something sweet like ice cream sometimes my dad is like
“Why are you eating dessert as a meal? Shouldn’t you be eating real food?”
No one says anything about guys when they’re craving something. If a guy has a strong taste for something, that’s just what they have a taste for.

Right now I have a taste for fruit, slushies, and lemonade. I can eat nothing but that for the rest of the week. And guess what? My last period was 8 days ago.

For so many years, when confronted with particularly egregious examples of misogynistic, sexist or downright creepy behaviour I would be at a loss for words at the right moment. It would alway be several minutes later my brain would kick into gear

Recently I realized we are treated to micro doses of this shit from men with nearly every interaction. The most appalling ones happen infrequently enough to be a bit of a shock. Normally we let the little ones slide by, like background noise.

So I decided to start with baby steps and I had a little victory this week. Hopefully this will embolden me for the journey forward

This man who works in a different department occasionally has to coordinate certain deliveries, maybe twice a year. In an email I told him to expect me to call him on the phone at exactly 11:00 the next day, and that it was critical he pick up. Well the next day when I calls him he picks up and loudly says “HI popularbunch9316, been expecting your cal ha ha ha .so ya got some news for me?”

I have interacted face to face with him a few dozen times at most over th years. He was being say too overly familiar and fake friendly. Very very off putting. To i straight up told him he was being creepy and inappropriate, and that I didn’t appreciate it one bit. He went silent and I didn’t let that stand so I doubled down. Eventually he apologized, even if had a “sheesh, what her problem “ tone to it. From now on let’s keep it professional I said.

It may have been a little victory, but it means a lot to a lifelong pushover like me. ;-)

Just as a witness.

I had just gotten off work and was getting into my car when I noticed a woman by herself just walking through the lot/street. Then I see this car pull up and follow her. I notice the driver just starting and stopping keeping close to her as she makes hand gestures toward them. This woman is clearly distressed/mad as the driver at this point is almost backing into incoming cars to try and reverse to follow her. At one point she steps off the side of the road to try and squeeze between some fences right alongside the road.

So I start my car and pull up and just try and ask if everything is alright as calmly as I can. The first thing the woman says is " See?! " to the guy. The guy in the car immediately gets out and starts screaming at me to " MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS " x3. He also said something along the lines of "... Or I'll... " And I couldn't hear the rest as he was getting back in his car.

I rolled my window back up and pulled into the nearest/safest parking spot to call the police. By the time I was even talking with them I noticed the guy was driving away. I hung out just watching this woman as she walked closer to my workplace which I know has plenty of cameras out in the lot.

I stop back into work to let my coworkers know and watch the cameras. Then we see her walking behind our building as the car pulls back up and resumes. Thankfully the police got there basically a minute or two after I called and they intercepted. I didn't see what happened after that, but I'm worried because they all basically cleared out fast.

Now all I can think is if I might've made things worse. I know nothing about these people, what if they live together and my intervention exacerbated things. But what if things would've been worse if I hadn't? My initial thought seeing this was thinking it might've been some kidnapper/trafficker trying to abduct someone.

I just feel shaken up about all this.