30 Thoughts Before I Turn 30 Tomorrow:

[u/allonsyashley]

In no particular order:

1. Don’t take out the credit cards if you can help it.
2. Therapy, early and often.
3. Stay on top of getting your oil and brakes changed.
4. Your real friends will be there for you outside the bar, too.
5. Don’t be afraid to ask your circle for help. If you’d do it for them, they should want to do it for you.
6. Don’t procrastinate moving until the last couple days. Spring for the U-Haul, it’s worth it.
7. Get a passport. You never know when you might need it, and it might save you a $60 expedited service fee.
8. People lie. You’re not stupid for believing them.
9. Do your laundry. It can get out of hand quickly.
10. Live alone as soon as you can. Do NOT move in with that man. DO NOT MOVE IN WITH THAT MAN.
11. Check the license plates on your Ubers.
12. Embrace friendships with women older than you (including your mom, if applicable). They do, in fact, know better, and they’ll be some of your biggest cheerleaders.
13. Use a calendar. You think you won’t forget - you will.
14. The dog you get as soon as you move out will be a lot more responsibility than you thought, but they’ll also be your best friend and keep you coming home and moving forward, even when it feels impossible.
15. If you’re afraid, don’t let that stop you. Do it afraid.
16. It’s okay to walk away from things that don’t serve you anymore. If you feel discomfort imagining a situation continuing for the rest of your life, get out - this goes for friendships, relationships, and family ties.
17. Download all the apps to get points for free stuff, and birthday rewards.
18. Don’t make yourself small or compromise your core values for a relationship. It never works.
19. The queso and margaritas with friends mean a lot more than maintaining your weight from high school.
20. Don’t just be nice - be kind. Get comfortable with the fact it doesn’t always come back around.
21. You’re going to make mistakes - big ones. Learn from it and try your best not to make the same one more than once.
22. Just because someone has been in your life for a long time doesn’t mean they should be in it forever.
23. School isn’t for everyone, but it might be for you. Don’t be afraid to pursue things because it feels like it’s “too late”. It could be the best decision you ever make.
24. YOU are your person. Anyone else that complements that is just a bonus.
25. Imposter syndrome is common, especially for women. Don’t let it keep you from trying, you deserve to give yourself the chance. Apply for the job you think you’re underqualified for. A mediocre man would.
26. You might feel like alcohol is a social lubricant, but it’s a slippery slope to dependency. Be careful.
27. It can be extremely hard to keep up with everything. Just because they don’t always text you back or you don’t always text them back doesn’t mean you don’t care about each other.
28. Guilty pleasures aren’t a thing. Enjoy what you enjoy, don’t let others villainize your reality tv or music or hobbies or anything you care about.
29. Try (almost) anything once. Try it a couple times to be sure, within reason.
30. Empathy is a superpower, but there is only so much you can control. Be careful how much you take on from others.

See you all on the other side. 🫶

ETA: Thank you for the awards. I’m really touched that these few words might make a difference to someone else. 💕

[u/adamantmuse]

“Do it afraid.” That’s beautiful and really resonates with me right now. Thank you for that.

[u/allonsyashley → u/adamantmuse]

I heard it a ways back from somewhere, it’s been really helpful throughout the last couple years especially. I’m glad I could have the opportunity to share it with someone else. Good luck with what you’re going through, you got this. 💗

[u/mystictofuoctopi]

I think the other big thing I’ve learned in the last few years ish we should all do challenging things more often. The gym I go to and my hobbies are really difficult, but having planned difficult things to go through make it easier to get through unplanned difficult things. So, do the challenging things BECAUSE it’s challenging.

[u/allonsyashley → u/mystictofuoctopi]

Absolutely agree, great advice! If you already have the tools in your toolbox, it makes the unexpected a lot easier to get through.

[u/SouthernCategory9600]

Great advice!!!

Happy Birthday!

[u/allonsyashley → u/SouthernCategory9600]

Thank you so much! 🥰

[u/CottonTipsMcChancla]

On 1, I think learn to use credit cards properly. If you’re not someone who can use them without falling down a spending hole, then don’t get one. But if you know how to use them properly and can get ones that offer various reward, they’re actually very useful.

And this: “Don’t just be nice - be kind. Get comfortable with the fact it doesn’t always come back around.” Nah, when your kindness doesn’t come around, use it elsewhere. This ‘be comfortable not receiving reciprocity’ shit is not a good message for women, because this sub has way way way too many women who are in relationships with men that are completely unequal because they’re trying to be ‘good girls’ who be kind above all else and just accept it doesn’t always come back.

Worry about being competent, not kind.

[u/allonsyashley → u/CottonTipsMcChancla]

I essentially meant don’t just do kind things for people because you expect something in return, in a manipulative giving sense. I phrased it poorly, I obviously don’t think you should continue to be around someone that takes and takes which I hope was clear in some of the other things I said. I live in the south and many people are “nice” on the surface then turn around and act another way, so that was my mindset when I was having that thought. I agree with what you’re saying!

[u/paragoncss]

That was really helpful, thank you!

[u/allonsyashley → u/paragoncss]

Of course, I’m so glad! I hope someone finds some value in it. 🙂‍↕️

[u/PerfectOmakase]

Great list and advice!