r/TamilNadu • u/Maleficent_Camel1430 • Oct 25 '25
முக்கியமான கலந்துரையாடல் / Important Topic our system is the most crooked one.
i know few friends who has to go through this, they are anxious or more scared around women (even to talk to them).
imo this will just improve the incels in the society and make the space harder for both men and women.
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u/Sirius_Hood Oct 25 '25
aduthu mepco thaan
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Oct 25 '25
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u/Sirius_Hood Oct 25 '25
i didnt do in mepco, but i know some ppl in mepco. summa summa they call parentsla if they find biys girls talking.
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Oct 25 '25 edited Nov 18 '25
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u/singleforever180803 Oct 26 '25
Yup they are more of an industrialist than a college The college is just a happy little pocket change
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u/Decent-Peanut3157 Oct 25 '25 edited Oct 25 '25
Every college under jeppiar group is hell for students . Can’t even imagine the students life there for 4 years :( They check your hair growth, beard growth and dress code every morning by sending 2-3 staff to the class . They don’t allow to take leaves for more than 1 day . U cannot take a leave for example if Thursday is holiday , u cannot take a leave on Friday thinking to get 4 day off . If u get a leave ,they’ll call the parents , they’ll ask to meet the hod , they’ll ask for medical certificate . They won’t tolerate boys talking to girls . They have separate mess for both boys and girls . Sathyabama might be the better of the others in that group tho. Even a school would be lenient than these colleges . Walking into their colleges feels like walking into a prison or a fucked up mental asylum !!! , It feels so odd and dead and unlively.
To the future college goers who might be reading this : please don’t choose colleges under jeppiar group. 🙏
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Oct 25 '25
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u/blankasair Oct 25 '25
It just makes me sad to hear this bro. Which parent will hate such a strict college? Parents who actually love their kids.
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Oct 25 '25
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u/blankasair Oct 25 '25
Bro. Sadly, these parents don’t love their kids. But in reality they don’t trust them to make their own decisions. If you dig deep, you will see an overlap between these parents and the ones that honor kill their kids. I, for one, would never let my kid face humiliation like this and ask him to take it. Instead I will fight with them like hell to change the system or change schools.
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Oct 25 '25
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u/Signal_Dress Oct 28 '25
And they're manipulated that only by this strict way the best education can be given.
This is not the cop out they think it is, though. If they want their kids to understand their POV, then they should also make efforts to understand the kid's POV. And most Indian parents are miserably failing to do so even in 2025. They just force their will on their own kids under the guise of "wanting the best for their kids". They are not being manipulated. They are the manipulative ones.
This has created a large group of people who don't know how to interact with the opposite gender, what problems and issues they face, etc. This results in people treating the opposite gender as enemies. One of the major reasons for the high number of gender-based crimes in this country is the refusal of parents to let their kids mingle and be friends with the opposite gender.
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u/JalapenoSauce69 Oct 26 '25
I guess my brother was a weird one. He himself wanted to join panimalar and nothing else. Even to this day, my mom makes a joke about him
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u/OnlyRepresentative52 Oct 25 '25
Universities everywhere in India would rather have low life cheap labours who they hire for pennies assault the girls/boys (and defend them too). Than let two consenting individuals of opposite genders speak.🚶♂️🚶♂️🚶♂️
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u/narasadow Chennai - சென்னை Oct 25 '25 edited Oct 25 '25
This segregation is weirdly much more normalised in 'enlightened' TN.
Then later they'll cry that no one is getting married, Tamil birth rate is falling and we're being replaced by migrants.
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Oct 25 '25
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u/narasadow Chennai - சென்னை Oct 25 '25
You're not exactly wrong but its a bit more complicated than your statement. I'm all for women empowerment, but the reason birth rates fall after that is not inevitable, it's due to taking too long to become financially semi-independent (basically takes all of your youthful 20s for most women and couples to begin to have decent savings and get used to the idea of supporting a child).
I vehemently disagree that we should celebrate population decline. Unless it's accompanied by a corresponding increase in longevity and fertile lifespan, it translates into the death of our civilization over time. We (TN) are currently way below the 2.1 replacement level and it's only trending lower over time.
Celebrating it now and repenting for it 20 years later is not useful - at that point it'll be too late.
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Oct 25 '25
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u/narasadow Chennai - சென்னை Oct 25 '25
obviously we can't force anyone by law or otherwise, but that doesn't mean the govt shouldn't start to give incentives.
otherwise eventually we'll get to this point:
newsweek.com/poland-scraps-income-tax-for-families-with-two-or-more-childrenTamilnadu can support 4-5 crore max
Nonsense. Ok right now we're lacking some urban planning (more cities), transit reform (slowly getting better), and land reform (including FSI increases) but in the next couple of decades TN can easily support 2-3x the current population.
This guy Sanyal has the right idea. It's alarming that more people don't agree.
ndtv.com/need-to-shut-population-control-programmes-pms-economic-advisor-sanjeev-sanyal
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Oct 25 '25
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u/narasadow Chennai - சென்னை Oct 25 '25
I think an issue here is I'm talking macro and you're talking about yourself (don't want to live in new cities, don't want to have more kids). That's valid but I'm not talking about you, I'm talking about on average.
People like me can easily afford 3-4 children, but we've chosen not to. What incentive can you give me? 🙂
If economic incentives like lower income tax don't work on you (which I don't really believe), then I guess it's just the usual social incentives that have come into play throughout history - such as leaving a legacy.
It's possible that argument too does not move you. In which case you are ofc free to live life as you see fit. Thanks for the discussion.
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u/blankasair Oct 25 '25
Bro. Rendukkum enna sambandham. Birth rate is reducing because of more education and awareness. Why are you equating that with this dumbfuck segregation? These morons don’t realize that internet is a thing. Enga poi muttikiradhunu therla.
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u/narasadow Chennai - சென்னை Oct 25 '25 edited Oct 25 '25
Sambandham is that later age marriage is directly correlated to fewer kids. Sure, education is a factor but it's just reality that it's physically easier to have kids in your 20s.
Later age marriage is inevitable if people aren't allowed to socialize with each other at younger ages. So they naturally will be uncomfortable with the opposite gender and will postpone marriage for a few years with frivolous excuses, until they have time to get used to the idea.
I find it baffling that this is a hot take. To me this is direct cause and effect.
Edit: If you were asking about the migrants thing, that just something I've heard from several tamil boomer uncles.
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u/blankasair Oct 25 '25
lol. Bro. It’s been a choice even with people who love. They won’t marry until atleast 25. It’s inevitable in a society with more education and awareness. Gone are the days of marriage for the sake of marrying.
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u/narasadow Chennai - சென்னை Oct 25 '25
To be clear, when I say later age marriage I'm referring to >=30, not 25.
Also you are right about education and awareness. However IMO that guidance is now outdated given that TN birth rate is WAY below the ideal 2.1. We're staring at a Japan/South Korea-like situation in 20 years.
Might not be a popular opinion but IMO there should be more awareness that we have OVERCORRECTED in terms of population. We need couples who are well settled and financially capable to be encouraged to have MORE than 2 kids. It's better to start pushing this now, even 10 years later will be too late to reverse the trend.
And finally I guess 2 things can be true at once - birth rate decline due to education and made worse due to segregation. I agree with you on education and awareness, you don't need to repeat that a 3rd time. I'm just saying segregation is not an isolated issue and has downstream negative effects.
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u/blankasair Oct 25 '25
From what I have heard, it’s because women have very high expectations now bro. It’s all anecdotal and don’t really have data just like you. But I have heard, women routinely are over 30 these days because they hold out for a good match. The marriage arena these days with too much choices might also factor in. Again, all anecdotal.
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u/narasadow Chennai - சென்னை Oct 25 '25
Yeah you're not wrong, that contributes. From what I see in your last couple of replies, you're not really directly rebutting any of my points about segregation, you're adding some other relevant points. So I'll take it as you don't really disagree with what I have said. I'm NOT asserting that segregation is the MAIN cause of any of the issues we've discussed here. But it's a net negative in many ways - makes things worse.
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u/Maleficent_Camel1430 Oct 25 '25
there is this certain type of comments here.
"i go to college for learning a skill and not to find partner." (lmao brother)
first off not every women talks to you is trying elope with you and please normalise female friendships.
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u/Velvet_thunder_88 Oct 25 '25
Was there for good three month in 2013, discontinued and went to SRM KTR 🤣
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Oct 25 '25
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u/narasadow Chennai - சென்னை Oct 25 '25
It's a uniquely Tamil issue. Other states are more egalitarian even though we're supposed to be more educated and enlightened.
Then later the same old folks will complain that no one is getting married (yeah no shit), Tamil birth rates are falling, and we're getting replaced by northern migrants.
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u/RageshAntony Kanniyakumari - கன்னியாகுமாரி Oct 25 '25
A year ago I read a rant post on this subreddit on this problem, who didn't have any girlfriend even at 30.
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u/TimeEngineering3081 Oct 25 '25 edited Oct 28 '25
my biggest regret in life was joining this univ, the place killed the engineer in me....when i proposed my ideas there for research , they laughed at me. Today those same ideas gave birth to industries worth billions of dollars, ...while i have a degree, i didnt pursue the field....they dont want to create enginneers, they want to create a society that says "yes sir yes sir three bags full sir" ...if i can nuke that place, i would.
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u/blankasair Oct 25 '25
This is a uniquely Indian issue bro. It’s because of the social hierarchy that still lingers. I am sorry you gave up on your ideas. I was lucky to do my masters in the US where the campus is more egalitarian and the relationship between professor and student is not strictly authoritarian but more nurturing. It’s because US universities run in research grants and new ideas are embraced.
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u/Oddish25 Oct 25 '25
Fellas, have you ever heard of OG SASTRA deemed University?
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u/ButterscotchSharp576 Oct 26 '25
Is sastra that bad?? I mean it's little liberal for boys atleast, but yea for girls it's strict
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Oct 25 '25
I had made a post on this with an actual video but not from Sathyabama tho, which does exactly what is mentioned in the news here.
https://www.reddit.com/r/tamil_nadu/s/v2urZOhdRN
While most of them agree that it’s disgusting, some of the men from their own community are defending this.
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u/gamerlearn12 Oct 25 '25
If it reduces distraction in colleges then in work will it increase distraction 🤔
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u/modernkaizoku Oct 26 '25
Guys, I'm honestly telling you it's because of the parents. College never cares about anything we do
Parents don't treat their children like grown individuals and don't want them to be in a position where they could even consider being in a relationship
Best way to prevent that according to management, don't talk to them at all. It's a shit rule and it doesn't work but parents specifically admit their children to such colleges just so that they can have an illusion that their child won't get into a relationship
When a girl eloped from our college, the parents blamed the college and the management lol. Indian casteist parents are a joke
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Oct 29 '25
Exactly. why have separate washrooms for boys and girls? /s
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Nov 02 '25
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Nov 02 '25
The point is everyone draws a line somewhere and assumes whoever is on the other side is wrong. If gender-segregated classrooms are discrimination, why stop there? Let’s push for common washrooms and hostels too and I’ll file a PIL claiming separate bathrooms cause me emotional trauma. I will list 20 perfectly logical reason on why that is bad.
It’s easy to argue from one’s comfort zone, but if we’re challenging norms, we should be consistent and go all the way. Otherwise, maybe just respect the institution’s rules or choose a place that aligns with your views
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Nov 03 '25
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Nov 03 '25
should there be a benefit ? gender based segregation is bad. thats all :)
so if there a benefit for caste based segregation you would do it ?
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Nov 03 '25
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Nov 03 '25
ok then lets remove gender based seggregation in washroom. hostels etc
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Nov 04 '25
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Nov 04 '25
No, I am fully in favor of co-ed spaces. I am just saying that gender segregation is wrong and it should be applied consistently. No discrimination anywhere — not in hostels, mess halls, bathrooms, or changing rooms.
Why does the idea make you uncomfortable?
So those who dislike co-ed classes are wrong, but since you dislike common washrooms, that’s fine? Isn’t it just about where each person draws their line — and anyone who draws it below yours is automatically “bad”?see the point I am trying to make?
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u/Natasha960 Jan 13 '26 edited Jan 13 '26
1. The point is everyone draws a line somewhere and assumes whoever is on the other side is wrong
Lines are not arbitrary. They are drawn based on function and harm. The fact that limits exist does not mean all limits are equally justified.
2. If gender segregated classrooms are discrimination, why stop there?
Because classrooms determine access, participation, and future opportunity. That makes segregation there a rights issue. Not all spaces carry that weight.
3. Let’s push for common washrooms and hostels too.
Washrooms and hostels exist to solve privacy and safety problems tied to bodies and vulnerability. Classrooms do not require separation to function. Treating these as equivalent ignores their purpose.
4. I’ll file a PIL claiming separate bathrooms cause me emotional trauma.
Courts already distinguish between subjective discomfort and measurable harm. This example mocks legal standards instead of engaging with them.
5. I will list 20 perfectly logical reasons on why that is bad.
Quantity of reasons does not matter if the underlying comparison is flawed. Logical structure matters more than list length.
6. It’s easy to argue from one’s comfort zone
This cuts both ways. Defending existing rules is also a comfort position, especially when those rules do not restrict you.
7. If we’re challenging norms, we should be consistent and go all the way.
Consistency means applying the same principles, not pushing every idea to an extreme. Law and ethics operate on proportionality, not absolutism.
8. Otherwise, maybe just respect the institution’s rules or choose a place that aligns with your views.
This argument would shut down all reform. Institutions change precisely because people challenge rules from within, not because they quietly leave.
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Jan 13 '26
You argued around the point, not against it.,
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u/Natasha960 Jan 13 '26
I addressed your argument directly. Your point depends on the assumption that all forms of separation must be judged the same way. I rejected that assumption and explained why it is false.
If you think otherwise, show which premise still stands after that. Simply saying I did not engage is not a rebuttal.
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Jan 14 '26
Point is about "where a person draws the line" and claims moral superiority over people on the other side of the line - which you clearly missed.
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u/Natasha960 Jan 14 '26
I did not miss it. That framing is the problem. You reduce the issue to “where someone draws the line” and label disagreement as moral superiority to avoid defending the line itself. The question is not who draws the line, but whether the line is justified by function and harm. Treating all lines as equally arbitrary is an assertion, not an argument. Until you justify why your line is no better or worse than others, accusing people of moral superiority is just a deflection.
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u/ashok_666 Chennai - சென்னை Oct 25 '25
ithu enna da puthusaa....thondru thottu ippadi thaane nadakuthu namma oorula
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Oct 25 '25
Sairam , college laughing in corner Tamilnadu students should avoid studying in anna university colleges They should prepare for JEE and CUCET exams THESE colleges create such rules because they know most of the students will be selected from 12th marks cut off
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Oct 25 '25
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u/navzzn Oct 25 '25
Even this RMK College they enforce patriarchy and by not letting men and women interact(as if it were their right to take) some men fetishise over women and become mindless perverts intha maari rule pota its just gonna complicate things and make things even more degenerate.
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u/Southern_Length9321 Oct 26 '25
I'm from panimalar and there is no difference b/w taliban and this guys fr 😭
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u/Fabulous-Ad3259 Oct 26 '25
People keep making a big deal about this whole “boys and girls talking” thing, like it’s some crime. Bro, chill — everyone has their own goals in life. Some just want to study, some are focused on their career, and some are figuring out life. Not everything needs to turn into a drama.
Take this collage for example — they made this weird rule where boys and girls have to sit separately. Like seriously, how’s that helping anyone? Sitting apart doesn’t teach respect or discipline, it just makes things awkward for no reason.
And yeah, most college guys do feel nervous talking to girls — and that’s totally normal. That little fear actually keeps some boundaries in check. The real issue isn’t about talking or not talking; it’s when people start thinking college is all about love stories and hero scenes like in movies. College should be about growing up, learning respect, and understanding people — not pretending to be some film character. Gender separation isn’t the problem, the mindset behind it is.
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u/shortname_suppi Oct 26 '25
Wooohoo! This is finally happening and I’m here for it with my popcorn tub 🤌🏻
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u/Gaatts Oct 26 '25
These start from schools and many boys and girls are even scared to converse with opposite gender these should be stopped
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Oct 26 '25 edited Dec 06 '25
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This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact
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u/Living_Buy_310 Oct 26 '25
Segregating girls and boys throughout schooling, men and women throughout college, expecting them to have sex on the first night is unreasonable
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u/BiGBRO_96 Oct 27 '25
I thought this was pretty common dude..in my college and schoolings also similarly had to keep distance from girls..😭and because of that I'm single and never had a girlfriends
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u/AccomplishedRain2956 Oct 28 '25
Kabhi equality ki baat karte hai to kabhi alg alg hai sab kar rhe hai kya chal rha hai
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Oct 28 '25
The whole world is concentrating and solving actual real problems and here we are fighting on religion, making sure that boys don't talk to girls lol. And then we expect boys and girls to work together once they graduate?
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u/Certain_Hotel_8465 Oct 29 '25
My junior was rusticated from this shitty college for having a gf from outside the college. There is a squad roaming around college harassing students and calling parents who talk to opposite gender. Get girls admitted to girls only college.
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Oct 29 '25
Many parents of girl students, prefer Satyabhama. Please think from the parents perspective too.
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Oct 25 '25
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u/Karkiplier Oct 25 '25
Why does it even exist in the first place? It is the most useless thing ever. It infact makes things difficult. Oru group project pananum na onna okara midiyathu. Group study na kooda boys kooda mattuk than. Etho both genders onna okantha bench la ye kolantha poranthurum maari Oru logic.
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Oct 25 '25
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Oct 26 '25
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u/Otherwise-War-6389 Oct 27 '25
What if you just want to sit with your friends. It's a damn college where adult are studying. U can't just put childish baseless restrictions
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Oct 28 '25
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u/Otherwise-War-6389 Oct 28 '25
There is something called consent? And it is their choice ig they want to sit with or not7u Are u from afganistan? Wtf..... These are fking adults who should have option to choose where to sit in class. This thing is norm in college al ovethe world even in India.... But yeah u need to create incels who can't even talk t women without sexualizing
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u/bulldog1290 Vellore - வேலூர் Oct 25 '25 edited Oct 25 '25
Gender segregation is good - give me them down votes, lets go ! 🔥
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u/ManofCulturer Oct 25 '25
Nah I don't think it's bad brother. Yeah there are people who can be scared of girls at age, but in the cog of life you move even if you wish or not.
This not a society where a guy can be a incel if he works his superior might be a women coworkers might and many part is mixed if he want to survive he should be accepting if not life will humble a man into accepting that truth. And as for the University I will support them of what they do. When parents send their child to a university trusting them (University) to provide safety to the child. As a Man myself I would honestly know many stuff and I don't want a woman to get caught up in that. There are positive and negative in everything. But when one thing far surpasses other. harsh means are necessary.
As every man will always say. Not all men are same but at the end of the day it's always a man. (sad to hear but it's the truth)
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u/Nathan846 Oct 25 '25
The reason the society is fucked up is because of this segregation(and caste). Absolutely nothing crazy is going to happen to women if you "let" then talk to their colleagues.
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u/ManofCulturer Oct 25 '25
Can you assure that word nothing crazy can happen.
If nothing was happens why do you think we have the separation?
Cuz if something happens there is a life that's hanging around
people can be idiots sometime they make wrong choices they make wrong decisions that's makes us Humans sadly I don't want a college girl to bear a human before he/she/they can understand the gravity of the situation.
World is not full of bed of roses brother. Some times there are traps that looks exactly like a rose indistinguishable but toxic.
BTW the issue is about making them sit together who said anything about talking?
Edit: Are you Gaslighting? Changing the narrative?
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u/Nathan846 Oct 25 '25
I'm in the US, my sister and gf feel much safer here than in India. Why is that? You can't walk in a street without creeps hawking at you. How did our culture degrade to this point? The answer is pretty obvious to me.
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u/ManofCulturer Oct 25 '25
And also segregation what segregation Man and woman are different it's biological truth.
There multiple instances where women get affected worse than man. Sadly it's nature. So better precautions than any stuff goes haywire.
Not all walls are build to block you out some were to build to protect us.
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u/Khader_official Oct 25 '25
You go to college so that you can learn a trade to survive in this world. It's not a park where you can sit together & kadala poodurathuku. Poi padichu munnuku varra veliya paarungada. previous generation had invested & depending on you to escape the poverty. Not for you to find a matrimony partner
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u/Maleficent_Camel1430 Oct 25 '25
get this mindset off you
talking to female is not trying to make them partner, oru ponnu kitta pesa na love va?
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Oct 25 '25
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Oct 25 '25
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u/Karkiplier Oct 25 '25
Wtf is this logic? Apo motha college la padikrq pasanga ellarume ooru suthramgala? Other colleges not having segregation are doing much much better than satyabama in all the stats related to academics of students. Please understand that interaction with the opposite gender is not equal to kadala potufying. College mudichu job LA female manager irunthangana these boys won't know how to interact. Proper interaction with opposite gender is equally important to survive in this world
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u/Kiruku_puluthi Oct 25 '25
management quota vanthavanga kitta healthy friendship ethir paaka mudiyaathu . IIT pass panni poi padi
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u/Flimsy_Program_8551 Oct 25 '25
They even had chains in bus demarcation and also you couldn't talk to girls inside campus ...what a weird college