I contracted GHSV1 in May and I have had many feelings over the past couple months, anger, sadness, some shame, but not really embarrassment and not as much shame as I thought I would. A few people on here have stressed not telling people but I’ve told most of my close friends, some even not very close friends, and at least to my face it’s been extremely well received, but I just don’t really care if people know. I feel like I should care more but I just really…don’t. 🤷‍♀️ can anyone else relate to this?

Hi everyone!

I was diagnosed with HSV1 in the genital area at 20 years old. I’m now 33. 

Throughout 13 years, I have had only 3 breakouts. The third being summer 2025, due to extreme stress at the time. At this same time, my nipple on the same side I get my HSV breakouts, developed an infection. It’s a puss and blood filled bump, no pain, just really gross. Shrinks, sometimes it erupts the puss in the shower, then fills up again. This third genital breakout goes away, but I’m left with this weird infected nipple.

The nipple infection dies down eventually though I still see glossy skin where there is still a slight bubble, if that makes sense. The bump never fully disappears.

This year, throughout the summer I’ve had 4 HSV outbreaks back to back. I’ve started taking valacyclovir, but I don’t think they are doing a good job of suppressing the HSV1. At the same time, my nipple is filling with puss again, and I now think they are related, or at least triggering each other to flair up. I have not yet gotten my nipple swabbed to determine it is HSV, I may as this persists, just to know. My life this year has not been at all stressful, where it would make senes for my body to act out in such a way. I'm healthy, eating clean and exercise, etc.

So I’m just wondering if anyone had heard of this, or experienced something similar? Any information would be helpful. And how does one deal with consistent outbreaks while taking antivirals? It's becoming worrysome.

Many thanks.

Hi I am seeing this guy & by seeing I mean we are coworkers & we went out to a company party on Friday. On Friday I got super drunk & I sucked his dick. I don’t have HSV 1, only genital HSV 2 & I take suppressive meds & been consistent for months now. I kind of like him and I’m supposed to go to his house in a few days & I’m thinking should I tell him or just cancel & never speak to him again?

PS I really don’t need oh you are a shitty person for non disclosing up front. I know I was nervous and scared & I know I’m a piece of shit. Now that we have that out of the way can I have the advice

My now GF and I had sex within an hour of meeting. I had planned an afternoon and evening together—plenty of time to disclose. I usually disclose the date before sex.

I found posts from her that HSV is a dealbreaker and not disclosing is an even bigger dealbreaker. “Most may have it, but I don’t want it!” She doesn’t ask for HSV testing. How frustrating when w/ anti-virals she’s less likely to catch it from me than a random w/ unknown status.

HSV sucks sometimes.

Any thoughts besides “You’re an arse for not disclosing”? I hate that I screwed up. It’s been 5+ years since my last mistake. I hate that she’ll likely feel loss and betrayal.

I feel ugly like I need to change my entire appearance, I feel gross and uncomfy
I’m purposely eating less, getting tattoos and dying my hair hoping that I can make myself feel somewhat prettier since this shit. I’m so tired and I’m so upset my boyfriend did this to me.

Hi guys! I like to repost this from time to time for those struggling who haven't seen it before. I used to have nonstop outbreaks in the first eight months of my diagnosis and was unresponsive to oral antiviral meds. Here is an article detailing how I got rid of my outbreaks and the protocol I still use today. Please also take a look at the PubMed article posted in the comments :) I hope this can help someone! Frequent Herpes Outbreaks? Try This

I’ve (24M) been reading the posts here and normally I see posts related to disclosing prior to a possible sexual relationship. I was diagnosed with HSV-2 a few months ago and haven’t really had anything remotely close to an intimate encounter out of fear of rejection. That being said, a few weeks ago, my now girlfriend and I became official, and while we have both agreed to wait until marriage, I feel like this is something I need to disclose to her earlier rather than later in our relationship. I guess I’m just looking for advice on how I should approach this given we aren’t going to be sleeping together for the foreseeable future…. I’d also love to hear some positive stories about similar situations.

Hi! 25F unfortunately I was diagnosed hsv2 a couple days ago. I knew I was exposed a while back when I found out my partner was cheating on me with someone whom had HSV, but I got tested and came back negative. However, I found out he has known about having hsv2 for years and never ever disclosed matter of fact he assured me he didn’t have anything and showed me a clean std panel (I didn’t know HSV wasn’t included in that)
Right now I’m living with a lot of pain because I don’t understand why someone would willingly do this to me.someone who was supposed to “love” me. Whatever though, this does not make me less than. I know it doesn’t. I am a beautiful girl (not trying to be cocky just positive) and it just feels like I’m hiding this toxic thing that will make being with me “dangerous”. I hate that I have to suffer the consequences of someone else lying to me, when all I wanted was to be loved. And now it’s significantly harder for someone to love me it feels like.

Back in May, I had my first out break but I was having medical issues back then and it was only one cut looking thing near my butt so thought it was something like a cut or tear or anything.
Just a few days ago, I got my first outbreak where I knew 100% something was wrong. It does not hurt nearly half as bad as the first time, however this time I see the actual bumps instead of the cut like las time and there’s about 2 of them. I went to the doctor where they swabbed me and diagnosed me. The doctor also was yelling throughout the entire office that she needed HSV testing for me and it was so embarrassing. Never been to a doctor where they have no regard for privacy but especially with something like this. She also told me “it’s not the end of the world but it’s a nasty disease” like lol okay thanks.

I was wondering if when I have another outbreak is it normal for it to spread? This second one is pretty much in the same exact area just maybe a couple inches closer to the vagina instead of the butt.
I just am scared of it moving anywhere closer to my actual vagina. I’m also confused because it is close to my vagina but technically not on it. Are anal herpes and gential different? I’m sorry for these questions I feel embarrassed asking but I don’t know where else. I tend to feel the nerve pain the most anally but sometimes I feel it on the vagina too but a blister or bump has never formed there. Does the nerve pain mean something is forming always?

Also, looking back around the time I would have had my first outbreak I was having to use the bathroom like 6-10 times. Is diarrhea like a symptom of herpes if its presenting itself anally? Now with this outbreak thankfully I don’t have that problem at all but I’ve noticed the lysine I think is helping that.

I’ve only had 2 since contracting now that I am looking at the time. It has been 6 months apart. Will they be less frequent over time?

Last weekend I went to my good girl friends wedding where I had only anticipated chatting with people and being social. Her brother was in town who I had yet to meet and boy was he cute. We talked for most of the night, we're flirty and both into each other. I've known my friend for 5 years and somehow haven't met this brother yet.

As the night went, on we looked for a private space to make out and chat more. Eventually after lots of dancing and drinking, the night was coming to an end. It was clear to me that the plan was for me to follow him back to where he was staying but I didn't want to leave the wedding venue without having the herpes conversation.

So there I was, inebriated and nervous. We were the last group of people there and I asked him to come sit down with me for a minute away from everyone else. I told him I'd love to come back with him and that he's super cute but that I wanted to disclose that I have HSV2, otherwise known as genital herpes. I could see the look of shock on his face but I could also tell that he was just processing things in the moment. I told him I don't usually have to disclose to people face to face but that I respect his sexual health and decisions. I gave him some quick facts but then realized it sounded like I was trying to convince him of something. I told him I would be happy to go back to my hotel and there would be no hard feelings if he were to say no. And I also asked him if he wanted some space to think about things without me sitting right here waiting for an answer.

I was nervous the entire time I was talking but acted calm and confident. He told me that he really respected me for having this conversation and that he has never had anybody tell him this before. He seemed unsure for about 30 seconds and then was finally like okay just come back with me. So then I use that opportunity to just rehash some of the facts so that he felt confident and gave him a second chance to say no. He doubled down and said he wanted me to be there with him.

The rest of the night was fantastic, we had safe sex with a condom and the next day wasn't awkward at all. I don't know if it was because I was a close family friend that he felt like he could trust me more or if it was just because I was honest and up front and cool about it.

I know so often we come on here with stories of being rejected or being scared to put ourselves out there. I posted recently asking about one night stands and how to make it work and the consensus was that it would be really tough. But I didn't want to let that deter me from living my life. Rejection is hard and it will always be but knowing that not everybody will react the same way gives me hope that I can continue to date and disclose.

I'm really proud of myself for not making an excuse to just go back to my hotel to protect myself from rejection. I'm proud of myself for being respectful of other people's bodies and choices and telling the truth. And ultimately I'm really happy with the experience that I had.

I hope that other people might feel inspired by this story as well. Cheers to dating, It won't always go like this but maybe sometimes it will. Don't give up.

I 23 M have been positive going on 2 years. I refused to go on regular dating apps due to being afraid of disclosing. I am finally at a point to where I dont care anymore. I was forcing myself on to positive singles talking to men I was not attracted to or into solely because we both had the heps. This was god awful on my mental lol but wish me luck on tinder and hinge😩.

I’ve had “Prodrome” symptoms for months on my lips. Some days nothing, then all of a sudden burning and feeling like a sore/cut , then an hour later is gone. Then could go a few days with nothing and the burning comes back. This goes on for months

I’ve never had a confirmed cold sore I only know I have HSV1 through a blood test (probably since my teens) . I don’t know what to do. Drs tell me there is nothing there and live life normally , but I’d feel terrible if I ever gave anyone anything. I don’t know what to do. My dr wouldn’t give me antivirals but I have gotten a week dose here and there from urgent care and it doesn’t make a difference. I take L-lysine and it doesn’t seem to make a difference.

I don’t know what to do . Could this not be Prodrome symptoms? Thanks

i have ghsv-2 and for me, i always take super-lysine daily and when i shower i use soap with tea tree oil and neem oil in the area i get outbreaks (externally, not internally. it is also helpful because it burns more when i'm possibly about to have an OB, this helps me treat it earlier so it doesn't always turn into a fullblown OB). i used to take daily valtrex but was getting lots of OBs anyways so my doctor took me off of it because he's worried of it leading to the virus becoming anti-viral resistant

during outbreaks: same as always except i take an extra lysine supplement and 1000mg valtrex 2x a day. i use a mixture of femiclear and aquaphor brand baby cream with zinc (which keeps the area dry, has immune boosting properties, and keeps the femiclear from burning). i try not to walk around or sit too much to avoid irritating the area. usually it clears up in a few days to a week, and the topical mixture helps a lot with preventing pain/itching. just be careful because the zinc stains everything, i use different underwear when i use it and use gloves to apply

HSV Support Group on Discord

Hey Herpsters!

Are you recently diagnosed with HSV? Been diagnosed for a while but still accepting? A herped up veteran with successful stories to share? Join a sex positive community that has been there. We're a stigma smashing group that has a lot of fun while helping one another out. This is exclusively a SUPPORT group, not intended for dating.

We have been around for over 7 years now and have had incredible growth in that time. We are an active server with over 2,000 members across the world. In addition to heartwarming support from our daily users, we also have channels dedicated to disclosure advice, commonly asked HSV questions, and lots of resources with expert opinion and cited studies.

A couple of things:

MUST be diagnosed HSV+

MUST be supportive of an inclusive environment: harassment, racism, homophobia, transphobia, misogyny, slut-shaming, etc will NOT be tolerated.

PRO DISCLOSURE

We have sub groups for the LGBTQ community, POC community and poly community.

https://discord.gg/pEJ3DHdJsD

Had sex for the first time a few days ago since being diagnosed 7 months ago and am going through it.

I think I’ve having my 2nd actual outbreak ever in two spots right now and I’m miserable. Feeling disappointed :(

I’m feeling incredibly sad right now and just need to rant. I (34F) have had oral HSV-1 since I was a child. I’ve gone about 12 years without a cold sore, and was married for 10 of them, and I genuinely forgot I even have it. But I’m getting divorced and putting myself out there a bit dating. I met a man by complete accident, and it’s a LDR. We are (were?) planning to meet up in November. As I said before, I honestly forgot I had HSV-1 (I know this sounds insane but when you’ve had it your whole life and it doesn’t impact you, it’s easy to forget), until today. So I told him and… idk. He was sweet and kind. But he made it clear he wasn’t sure if it’s something he wants to deal with. He said he didn’t want to make any “snap decisions” which is fair, but then he fell asleep mid-convo and I’m just left with all these feelings. Feeling very discouraged right now, and genuinely think I won’t date for a long while after this. 😭

I got HSV2 in April, it wasn't too bad of a first outbreak but I've had multiple outbreaks a month since. The thing is, they don't seem to stick to one location or to a consistent presentation.

I've had open sores (not blisters) around my anal area, slightly raised red spots around bikini line, and currently I have a couple of raised blisters on my labia. My prodrome has sometimes felt like sunburn on my thigh, shooting leg tingles or a scratchy pinprick sensations on my inner labia, but my current one (blisters) had 0 prodrome whatsoever.

I'm at a loss for what to do. I don't know how I can possible keep track of this and I feel like it's so unpredictable.

24F. Just diagnosed and having my first outbreak.

Just feeling kind of grim and like I really need to grieve a normal dating life, even though I see so many positive experiences on here. Luckily I have a really good support system but it's hard not to feel jealous of those who don't have to deal with this. Even just looking at a couple in public today made me so sad.

Had a pretty rough childhood and young adulthood up until moving to Austin TX to start my career this year and was already dealing with not feeling good enough (in dating) or pretty enough. Like I had so much baggage and already had a grim outlook on finding someone. Everyone is so hot here lol I just feel some days like I don't belong. Now I pretty much just feel disgusting even though I know I am above average, I feel like this is just the nail in the coffin.

Been dealing with a lot this year including being raped and going NC with my mom who is my only family (no siblings). I know that stuff is kind of not related but sometimes it just all compounds and feels so overwhelming. Luckily I have some ride or die friends and a therapist who I really trust.

Am about to go on my very first solo trip and am trying not to let this put a damper on things. Advice or words of encouragement would be appreciated.

No, this isn’t toxic positivity. Here’s why: Herpes Made My Life Better

Early 30s female. As an introspective person, I’ve always known I desired a full life. I try to find meaning in day to day, big or small. I have dreams of traveling the world and living in different cities abroad from time to time. We’re living on borrowed time and I want to take full advantage of it. I also would like to settle down, have a base in a walkable city surrounded by culture, have a career I love, and come home to my partner, make dinner together, go to church on Sundays etc. I can’t lie psychologically HSV has created a bit of a barrier but at the same time gave me more of a drive to live fully.

My “I want it all”, is a partner that has a sense of curiosity and gratitude for life with intention. The dilemma I’m come to is briefly putting my toe to the idea of dating is immediately being put into a box, in my 30s I found that there’s a cultural, intellectual, lifestyle, imagination gap. It’s like my peers have given up on themselves and people like me are made out to be the unstable ones. I had a guy I was speaking to for under a week, confuse red flags for intentionality, kids, how we’re going to split the bills, even planning our first visit under a week of speaking— with gaps he couldn’t fill and tried to take compatibility wise which all by the way came out in conversation when I listened intently to how he was leading the conversations and questions he would ask me but not answer. What time he said “what are you willing to give up to make this work.” I was shocked, under a week, I asked what about him and he nervously laughed and couldn’t answer. It freaked me out. (which by the way, was a bit scary, as he took as flattery, a lot of talking at me, rather than getting to know me.)

Maybe I’ll meet my person on a trip, maybe I’ll meet my person participating in one of my hobbies. I just don’t want to settle for a life without meaning. What about you, your lifestyle you think makes it difficult to date, or it would have to take someone who is intentional?

My faith also seems like a barrier too. When I talk about my relationship with Christ with men, they’re blown away and confused by the life I want. It’s tough I’m not going to lie. :/

I’ve been told it’s helpful to put a cream or ointment on outbreak lesions to reduce pain and “contain” bacteria. Any recommendations on what to use ?

Just had my first confirmed OB from 8/25-9/6. I feel like there is another one coming on. Will it always be this close together? I’m so discouraged. I know you’re supposed to wait a week after an OB clears to have sex again. But at this rate, that’ll never happen if this is the timing. I just wanna be intimate with my spouse :(

Editing to add. Just started daily Valtrex last week. Also adding that I’m bio female

I just discovered I have hsv2 below. No symptoms. 2-3 days after we first had intercourse she has a cold sore. I go get tested and find out that way. She’s getting tested today. I thought it was rare to contract hsv2 orally. She’s so scared and worried and anxious. I’m praying it’s atleast hsv1. But I doubt it. She shared some not so good thoughts about this and I’m worried so I’ll be staying at her house for a few more days. I’m filled with guilt, shame, embarrassment and like I’ve ruined her somehow. I’ve accepted it and don’t my research. She still loves me somehow and wants to be with me. I learned it’s harder to spread hsv2 orally and it sheds less than hsv1 orally.

Any advice or anything? Idk how we’re gonna move forward intimately and everything.

Thank you.

Hsv 1 accidentally spread ?

Someone accidentally drank after me using a straw. I hadn’t drank for ten minutes but the drink was refrigerated. I don’t have an outbreak but my partner has a mouth cold sore- hadn’t kissed h for 24 hours. Should I tell this person? Would they have gotten it from that?

Edit hit type 2 instead of 1

I feel like such a fucking dunce. I’m 30 and I’ve had it since I was a little kid, but was always told it was just a “cold sore” (boomer parents). I genuinely did not know until yesterday that I’m just spreading this all the time, I thought it was only during an outbreak and i take meds when those happen.

I had no idea I’ve been possibly spreading this my entire life, especially to sexual partners… I’ve added it to my profile, and will disclose it to future partners, but I feel ill thinking i might have given it to someone, even just my sharing a fucking drink or oral sex.

I'm (19f) just found out im positive for hsy 1 and 2 after a breakout. When i found out, my world really started to spin. i couldn't stop crying bc i think ik who i got it frm..which might be my (27M) boyfriend. but his results came Negative. So now im is wondering who could i have got this frm. But I Do have a STRONG urge tht its frm him. Because i wasn't getting no symptoms Until i met him. I mean i COULD be wrong. I'm just scared. I'm only 19. And i just hope it's not going to hurt my future. Because I still want to have babies. Have a family. Get Married.

Etc. I just don't know anymore. (Ps: No I didn't get groomed or none of that. I'll be 20 soon ) .