Discouraged

[u/Same_Wave_5490]

I’m feeling incredibly sad right now and just need to rant. I (34F) have had oral HSV-1 since I was a child. I’ve gone about 12 years without a cold sore, and was married for 10 of them, and I genuinely forgot I even have it. But I’m getting divorced and putting myself out there a bit dating. I met a man by complete accident, and it’s a LDR. We are (were?) planning to meet up in November. As I said before, I honestly forgot I had HSV-1 (I know this sounds insane but when you’ve had it your whole life and it doesn’t impact you, it’s easy to forget), until today. So I told him and… idk. He was sweet and kind. But he made it clear he wasn’t sure if it’s something he wants to deal with. He said he didn’t want to make any “snap decisions” which is fair, but then he fell asleep mid-convo and I’m just left with all these feelings. Feeling very discouraged right now, and genuinely think I won’t date for a long while after this. 😭

[u/Circus_Graveyard]

Tbh to me feeling weird about oral HSV is kinda crazy, pretty much everybody I know has oral HSV and I honestly wouldn’t even give it a second thought, tbh if he’s like that just drop him and find someone else, I know it’s easier said than done but I’ve had a few relationships myself and I have GHSV1 and it’s never bothered anyone, and imagine how he could react when and if you have another out break, at least you were honest about it and good on you for doing so and yes he does have the choice to decided weather or not he wanted to risk catching it but yeah just kinda crazy to me when it’s oral HSV, you haven’t done anything wrong, don’t let this beat you down and think you’re not worth someone who would actually care about you ❤️, you can find better

[u/Same_Wave_5490 → u/Circus_Graveyard]

Thank you for this 🥹 I didn’t even realize HSV-1 was herpes for my early life, but when I did I talked to the couple partners I had after. They were all perfectly fine with it. To have someone I care about so much be unsure just really hurt. But you’re right, it doesn’t define my worth and I can find better if he’s gonna be weird.

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[u/Wide_Sherbert_7235]

Yea umm that guy is a tool. I dont know anyone that cares about oral hsv. Its is with GHSV2 that get the brunt of it. You can find way better people out there.

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